Stewie Brian & Glory's Amazing Adventures
by Dbzfreak60
Summary: These adventures are the Road To Adventures with Brian and Stewie. But this time, My friend MultiGlory13 is involved with them as Glory Griffin. I hope you enjoy them everyone. Especially you, MultiGlory13.
1. Road to Rhode Island

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pics of the first adventure starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents Brian Stewie &amp; Glory in"

A second pic shows a flag that says "Road to Rhode Island"

The third shows Brian, Stewie, &amp; Glory looking up at the night sky watching a plane at the airport.

The fourth shows them in front of a brick wall with a light shining on them. They were definintely surrounded by the cops.

The fifth shows them climbing a mountain and Brian seems to be stuck.

The sixth shows the trio on a "thing" to ride on the train tracks.

The seventh shows them running out of a house as the sun was rising.

The eighth shows Brian flying a kite and Glory was hanging onto the kite as stewie laughs.

The ninth shows Stewie trying to get a camel to move while Brian sits on it.

The tenth shows them parachuting down from an airplane.

And the final one shows them with hats that barbershop quartets wear.

Our story begins somewhere near Austin, Texas 7 years ago. The place where Brian was born. In the barn were dogs in cages. Biscuit (Brian's Mom) was feeding were puppies.

Brian: Excedrin headache number one: puppy mill.

Brian couldn't get the jar to open.

Brian: GGR Damn. Uh hey, does anyone here have thumbs? Anyone? No?

One of Brians siblings wants to play.

Brian: Agh! Sorry, I don't play.

He was getting on Brian.

Brian: Hey, come on! Knock it off!

The puppy went back to his mommy.

Brian: Hey, how's the flow today?

The farmer picked up Brian and walked out of the farm.

Brian: HEY HEY HEY! WHOA WHOA! HEY MOM! MOM DO SOMETHING! MOM! MOM HELP! MOM!

Biscuit was sad to see Brian go.

7 years later, Brian was at his therapist.

Brian: And that was the last time I ever saw her.

Therapist: Well Brian, I-I think we've stumbled upon the root of your problems. You have adandonment issuses. You need to confront your mother and deal with this.

Brian: What are you, crazy? For God sake, my eyes were barely open. She just-She just gave me away. Well, it's her loss, right? Yeah! I turned out great. HUH? AM I RIGHT? RIGHT? YEAH! YEAH YOU BET YOUR ASS I'M RIGHT! YOU-YOU WANNA ARM WRESTLE? COME ON! RIGHT NOW! COME ON!

Therapist: Brian, have you been drinking?

Brian: No.

Brian breathes into his hand and sniffs his breath.

**(Griffins house)**

Lois: Brian, you really seem to be enjoying your wine lately.

Brian: Only my second glass.

Brian drinks a Big Gulp.

Chris: Dad? If bad men broke into the house, and they had guns, and they put a gun up to your head, and made you choose who you wanted to live, me or Meg, who'd you choose?

Peter: Uh ask ya mom. I'm not very good with tough decisions.

**(Flashback)**

Peter was trying to choose which movie to buy or rent. "Ernest goes to the Beach" or "Ernest doesn't go to the Beach"

Manager: We'll be closing in two minutes.

Peter: (Wine) AAAAUUGGHHHGHG!

**(Reality)**

Lois: Oh I could never choose. I love all my children equally. It's hard enough having Stewie all the way in Palm Springs visiting Grammy and Grandpa.

**(Lois's parents' mansion)**

Babs: Give Nana a big hug, sweetheart.

Stewie sneakly took grandma's necklace and threw it in the maids pocket.

Stewie: Well, that should guarentee some after-dinner entertainment.

**(Griffin's house)**

Brian: Uh Lois? I was thinking. Wh-Why don't Glory and I fly to Palm Springs and pick up Stewie?

Lois: Really?

Brian: Yeah! Trip like this is just what I need to clear my head.

Glory: Yeah! And I suppose could go for a little trip myself too.

Lois: Well that would be wonderful. It'll give me time to catch up on my reading. Usually there are so many distractions.

**(Flashback)**

Lois is reading while Peter tries to shoot a fly.

(Shoot)

(Shoot)

Peter: Come into my home, will ya? (Shoot) (Shoot) (Shoot) I'll Show you, you freakin' bastard. (Shoot)

Brian and Glory got out of the cab to pick up Stewie. Just as they walk up the stairs, the maid gets arrested for stealing Babs' necklace. As we all know Stewie framed her.

Babs: Stewie, gather your things. Time to go.

Stewie walks down stairs.

Stewie: Well it's about bloody time! Y...

Stewie: That idiot slattern sent the beauty and the doggy beast? Oh Oh Well Well! This is this is this is oh oh uh... Don't even get me started. mean really. What I really think that of of... of of of the times that THAT woman has... Oh I wouldn't even begin to to to

Glory: You comin' or what?

Stewie: Fine.

**(Griffin House)**

Lois: Peter, Guess what I just got. A relationship video. The infomercial said this tape will help us communicate better as a couple.

Peter: Lois, when did we ever had trouble communicating?

**(Flashback)**

Lois: Oh, Peter. I Love You.

Peter: About a quarter past five.

**(Reality)**

Peter: Oh ok Lois. I'll make ya a deal. We'll watch the tape if you do something for me.

Lois: Ok. What?

Peter: Do that Katharine Hepburn impression for me. And Philadelphia story Hepburn. N-Not anyone of that head-on-a-slinky Golden Pond stuff.

**(The Airport)**

Brian: Wait here at the gate, Stewie. I gotta run a quick errand.

Glory: And I going to the restroom.

Stewie sat down with Rupert and waited.

Guy: Aren't choo a little young to be traveling alone?

Stewie: Aren't choo a little old to be wearing braces?

The guy covered his mouth and felt ashamed. Brian was drunk and was spinning in his chair.

Woman: I think you've had about enough.

Brian: Well I... I think you're wrong, you increasingly attractive-looking woman. You're very pretty.

Woman: (Blushes) Oh stop.

Brian: No No I'm serious. You You could be in magazines. You You could. A-And not just like Jugs or... or Creamsicle.

She left.

Brian: CALL ME! (To the bartender) She won't call.

Glory and Stewie found Brian.

Glory: (Sarcastic) Wow! This is new. Another episode of "The Drunken Dog" Starring Brian Griffin.

Brian: I-I'm not drunk. I-I feel fine.

He puked behind the counter.

Brian: Ok maybe a stomach virus. (Falls) A-And an inner ear infection.

Announcer: Flight 85 to providence. Final boarding.

Stewie: (Excited) OOOOO At last.

Glory: Come on. Let's go.

Stewie: Right!

Brian crawls after an olive on a stick.

Stewie: Yes Yes. Come now. Chase the stick.

Glory: Uh Stewie? Where are the bags?

Stewie: What the deuce you're talking about they're right...

It was just rupert.

Stewie: RUPERT! I told you to watch the BAGS! You were watching the boys weren't you? It's that steward, the one who looks like Tab Hunter. Oh forget it. Let just get on the bloody plane and go home.

Brian: Our tickets were in the bags.

Announcer: Flight 85 to providence is now departing.

Stewie: That's not going to stop me.

Stewie got into a baby stroller and put the old baby out.

Mom: HEY!

She put Stewie out and put her baby back in.

Glory: That didn't work.

Stewie: (Sarcastic) Oh really?

**(Motel)**

The three stayed in a motel for the night and tried to help drunken Brian.

Glory: This will do for now.

Stewie: Alright Brian. Let's not dilly dally. Get Lois on the phone so we can get the hell out of here.

Brian: AUAUAhasdaskifasdfasdmadloh (Fell out)

Stewie: (Sarcastic) Oh that pretty.

He covered Brians crotch with a lamp shade. Stewie picked up the phone.

Stewie: Hello operator? Hello? Oh that's right. You've got to punch in the numbers now a days. Alright Glory, what's the number?

Glory: (Silent) ?

Stewie: You know the number, right?

Glory: Yeah well ummmmm? I may have forgotten our home number.

Stewie: WHAT! WHAT THE HELL?

Glory: Hey, don't look at me. I don't see you coming with great ideas.

Stewie: Oh well. There's only one way to do this.

Stewie dialed in different phone numbers.

Stewie: 111-1111. Lois? Damn. 111-1112. LOIS? DAMN! 111-1113.

**(Griffin's House)**

Lois: "A way with words with marriage for couples who communicate not good."

Peter: Oh COME ON Lois. This is gonna be worse than that time we had to sit through your uncle Jerry's snuff film.

**(Flashback)**

Peter: (Quiet) Are-Are they really gonna kill that girl?

Lois: (Quiet) Peter, please! People are tryin' to watch.

**(Reality)**

Lois: Just give it a chance.

And the video starts now.

Amanda: Hello. I'm Doctor Amanda Rebecca. By purchasing this video, you've taken the first step towards strengthening your relationship through better communication. I'd like to start by asking the women to leave the room, because this part of the tape is for men only. We'll see you in a little while.

Lois: I can see this is gonna be very intense. Phew have fun. (Exit)

Amanda: Make sure your wife is out of the room.

Peter: Check.

Amanda starts to get sexy.

Amanda: (Talks slowly) So, you wanna talk or do you want me to take my top off?

Peter's starting to enjoy it.

Amanda: (Talks slowly) That's what I thought. Oh, man! You're making me so hot.

She starting to strip. Taking her top off slowly. Still has her bra on.

Amanda: I hope you like big breasts, because mine are soooo big, this itty bra can barely contain them.

She unhooks her bra.

Amanda: Do you wanna see more?

Peter: Yes, please.

She puts her top back on and fixed her hair.

Amanda: Then, you'll have to order my next tape.

Peter: DAMN IT.

**(Motel)**

Back at the Motel, Brian, Stewie, and Glory were sleeping in the same bed. Glory and Stewie heard some voices next door.

Guy 1: You got the stuff?

Guy 2: Yeah. I got it. Where's the money, huh? I wanna see the money.

Guy 1: No no no. You don't see the money till I see the stuff.

Stewie: Oh God. Glory, you might wanna duck your head for this one. HE'S WEARING A WIRE.

Guy 1: WHAT!? YOU SON ON A BITCH!

The first guy shot the second guy.

Glory: Oh my God.

**(Morning)**

In bed, Brian was licking Glory while she was sleeping.

Glory: Oh yeah that's it.

She awoke.

Glory: Hey wha... WHAT THE HELL! AAAUUUGGHH (Fell out of bed.)

The phone rings and Stewie woke up.

Stewie: I got it.

Stewie grabbed a hot steamer or something and burned his hand.

Stewie: Hello... AAAUUUGH OHOHOH OH DAMN IT OH A PUS-SPEWING (Bleep)ing BLOOD-GUTTED HELL! AAUUGH!

He picked up the real phone.

Stewie: WHAT? What do you mean our credit card was declined? OH NO NO NO NO There no need to come up. We'll We'll...

The manager hung up.

Stewie: oh BLOST!

Glory: What's going on?

Stewie: No time. Get dressed.

As Stewie gets dressed, he fell.

Stewie: Damn it.

They were ready to go.

Stewie: Ok. Let's go.

Glory: Right! Wait!

Stewie: What?

Glory: We need Brian.

Stewie: Oh right.

They tried to wake Brian up.

Stewie: Come on Brian, GET UP! Go for a ride in the car?

Glory: Uh UH Would you like a treat boy?

Stewie slaps Brian. Glory poke him with a hanger. And they tried to pull him out of bed.

Stewie: Ready? 1 2 3.

Instead, they slid under the bed.

Stewie: BLOST! ooo a penny.

Glory: STEWIE!

Stewie: Sorry.

They put Brian in the shower and turned the water on him.

Stewie: (Slaps Brian) Wake up!

Brian: Huh what what. Oh my head. Oh God, what are we doing here?

Stewie: Oh we needed a weekend away from the kids. You know just us. WE ALL HAVE TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Glory: Stewie, you still didn't tell me why we have to leave so fast.

Manager: (Knocks) Motel Manager. Open Up. Or I'll hit you with this blunt instrument I use to hit deadbeats with bad credit cards. Well, It's not an instrument. It's more of an object. But it's blunt. Hard and blunt. And well, it's kinda like a bat. I found it out back one day when I was raking.

Glory: Oh that's why.

Stewie: Let's go.

They snuck out back and try to steal a ride.

Stewie: Alright we gonna need some Wheels.

Brian: This one's unlock.

Glory: Let's take it.

Stewie: An SUV? We're escaping from the law not driving to soccer practice. Let's take this one.

Brian: Why? Cause you like that color?

Stewie: What's wrong with the color?

Brian: I-I don't know. It seems so dark.

(Talking at the same time)

Stewie: Yes but...

Glory: I don't think that we...

Brian: It's sooo..

Stewie: You know this conversation's not working out. Perhaps we should try another lot.

The manager got out of the back window.

Brian: Sold.

They hurried up and got in.

Glory: What are you waiting for Brian? Hot-wire it.

Brian: Hot-wire? I don't even pump my own gas.

Stewie: Oh, for God's sake. I got it.

As Stewie hot wires the car, the manager was getting closer.

Brian: Hurry up.

It worked. And a song played.

Brian: You did it. (Turns off radio)

Stewie: Wait put it back. I love that song.

Glory: No time. Punch it.

They got away and the manager wasn't fast enough to catch them.

Glory: You know, so far, this is not how I imagined this trip to turn out.

Brian: Let's not mention this to Lois, ok.

Stewie: Oooo somebody's irratable.

Brian: Look guys I-I just need some time to think, alright?

Stewie: Yes YEs you got lots to think about. Haven't you? Getting Drunk, Grand Theft Auto...

Brian: You left out the part where I made you smash your head in the windshield.

Stewie: I don't remember that.

Brian stopped the car and Stewie got his head smashed against the windshield.

Stewie: Yes. Well. I suppose I walked right into that one.

They made a stop to call home.

Lois: Hello?

Brian: Hey Lois. It's Brian.

Glory: Give us the phone.

Lois: Brian! We were just on our way to the airport. Is everything OK?

Brian: Yeah yeah. Everything's fine. The three of us traded in our plane tickets for train tickets. And yes you can do that.

Brian put his foot on Glory and Stewie to make sure they don't get up.

Glory: Give us the damn phone, Brian.

Brian: Glory's just a bit cranky that we're not home yet. And Stewie say he loves you.

Stewie: NO I DON'T! I DESPISE THAT WOMAN!

Brian: He really misses your hugs and kisses.

Stewie: YOU SUCK!

Brian: See you in three days. (Hangs up) Let's go.

The cops were snooping around their car.

Brian: Oh crap. We gotta disappear, and quick.

A truck passed by.

Brian: Maybe we shoulda jumped on that truck.

Glory: YOU THINK!

**(Griffin's House)**

Lois: The kids and Brian are taking a train home.

Peter: Lois, can we not talk about curtains for two seconds. I got another one of those relationship tapes.

Lois: $49.95? That's three times as much as the first one.

Peter: Lois, our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes. Uh, I mean nickles and boobs. Money. I'll be upstairs.

Lois opened her room door.

Lois: Peter why are you so...

Peter: GET OUT. THIS IS THE PART JUST FOR THE MEN.

Lois looked bugged eyes after closing the door.

**(Somewhere)**

Stewie: I say there's a plane.

Brian: Yeah! And if there's a plane, there's probably a pilot. And if there's a pilot, there must be a bar. I could finally get a drink.

Guy 1: I don't trust you. You put your seed in my daughter's belly. You're fired.

Guy 2: But Pa, you can't fire me.

Guy 1: You're lucky you're my brother, too. Otherwise, I kill you.

Brian: Uh excuse me sir. I'm an experience pilot. You can trust us completely. My friend here's to young to put a seed in your daughters belly. My other friend here is the same gender as your daughter. And I am a different species.

Guy 1: You're hired.

Brian started the plane. They went and the cows in the way broke the wings off.

Brian: OH BULL (Bleep)!

The trio traveled on the road in a wagon with mexicans.

Glory: I fell so uncomfortable.

Stewie: I do too.

Brian speaks spanish to a mexican guy.

Brian Griffin: Hola! Um... me, me llamo es Brian. Ahh, uh, um... Let's see, uh, nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.

Migrant Worker: Hey, that was pretty good, but actually when you said, "Me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es", just "me llamo Brian".

Brian Griffin: Oh, you speak English!

Migrant Worker: No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.

Brian Griffin: You... you're kidding, right?

Migrant Worker: Que?

Brian saw a sign that says Austin. He speaks spanish again to the trio can stop where they are.

Stewie: Why the hell did we get off right here?

Brian: My mother lives in Austin. Don't you guys see? Fate has givin' me a chance to find my mother and make peace with her.

Glory: Your mother? 8 miles? That way?

Brian: Yes.

Stewie: Ok let me see if I got this straight. You got us off the wagon to show and tell us this. And now we have to walk there now?

Brian: Uh, yeah pretty much.

Stewie: Well you know what that means, right?

Brian: (Huffs) Yes.

On their way to Austin, Stewie was riding on Brian's back like a horse.

Glory: How come you get to ride Brian?

Stewie: Because I'm a baby. I'm the lightest.

**(Austin, Texas Farm)**

Brian: Hello Luke.

Luke: Have we met?

Brian: My name's Brian. I was born here.

Luke: Sorry son. Lots of dogs were born here. Refresh my memory. which one were you again?

Brian: I was the one who could talk.

Luke: Brian! Come on in! And bring your friends. Betty, look who it is.

Betty: Is that Brian? Oh, and you brought some friends! I bet you're hungry little fella.

Stewie: Yes, and I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull. NOW CHANGE ME!

Brian: Luke uh...I've been thinking a lot about my mother lately.

Luke: Oh she was a good dog.

Brian: "Was"? You mean?

Luke: Last year. She went real peaceful.

Brian: Oh! I see. She probably wouldn't wanna see me anyway.

Luke: That's not true. Buscuit loved all her puppies.

Stewie: (Chuckle) Buscuit.

Luke: Brian, your momma gave you up because she thought you'd have a better life when she let you go. Was she right, son? Do you have a good life?

Brian: Yeah! I really do. I have a great life.

Luke: Would you like to see her?

Brian: "See her"? I don't understand.

Luke: Well Brian, we loved Biscuit so much, we wanted to keep her always. So we had her stuffed.

Brian was shocked.

Brian: (Gasp) Mom!

Glory: Oh no.

Stewie: Well, I say, someone must've said a funny, because your mother's in stitches! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Oh I'll leave you to grieve.

Luke: Come on, Betty. Let get these kids some sandwiches.

Stewie looked at a picture on the wall.

Stewie: Look at Jesus standing in over there all by himself. You'd think those bulldogs would invite him to their card game.

Brian can't stand seeing his mom like this.

Brian: You deserve better than this, Mom. Glory give me a hand.

Stewie: You know, I had a dream like this once. Except this stuffed figure was Lois.

Brian: Shut up and help us. I'm not leaving her like this.

They carried her to a place to bury her. Stewie broke her tail.

Brian: (Gasp)

Glory: Oh relax, Brian. Your mom's dead anyway. It's not like she can still feel pain.

**(Griffin's House)**

Chris: Hey Meg. Try and guess what word I'm thinking of right now. And it's not "kitty".

Meg: (Huff) Car.

Chris: No.

Meg: I dunno. Apple?

Chris: Try again.

Meg: I give up.

Chris: It was kitty. HAHAHAHAHA.

Peter came in.

Lois: Peter, isn't there...

Peter: Yes the new video. Oh life is sweet.

Peter went upstairs. Amanda has no shirt, or skirt. Just underwear and her bra.

Amanda: (Talks slowly) How bout some whipped cream?

Peter: (Stares) OOOHH That's always good.

Amanda: And some cinnamon.

Peter: (Gasp) Oh! That's good too.

Amanda: And then guess what, I'm going to add...

Peter: Oh Jeez, if she says Mrs. Dash, I'm gonna lose it.

Amanda: We're going to add...

Lois cut herself into the tape.

Lois: PETER!

Peter: AGH!

Lois: I know what you've been doing here, and I'm very upset with you.

Peter: Wow! Usually beautiful women don't turn back into you until after I'm finished.

Lois: These tapes were suppose to be about communication. I mean if you really wanted to see a woman acting nasty...

Lois stripped.

Lois: (Talks slowly) You shoulda told me.

Peter: Oh God, this is freakin' hot.

Lois: Turn around.

She was behind him.

Peter: Lois!? I swear, she means absolutely nothing to me.

Lois: It's ok, Peter. I was tryin' to be sexy for ya.

Peter: OHHH Come here you.

They're making out. Peter rewinds the tape.

Lois: (Talks slowly) You shoulda told me. (Rewinds) Lois: (Talks slowly) You shoulda told me. (Rewinds)

**(Mini-Mart)**

Brian: Wait here, guys. I'm gonna get directions to the nearest park so we can give my mother a proper burial.

Stewie stood around to make a joke.

Stewie: Come on, darling. Stiff upper lip. HAHHAHA

Glory: HHHAHAAAHA! You gotta write that down.

Stewie: Oh I will. I will.

At the park, Brian dug a hole for his mother and they put her in.

Brian: Say someting.

Glory: What?

Brian: Just-Just say something, please!

Glory: Ok um? Hello everyone. Welcome to the nameless sketch. Some just said "killer socks and bond" "Who the hell says that" I mean

Brian: Say something about my mother!

Glory: oh right. Ugh? I never new Biscuit as a dog, but I did know her as a table. She still had those four legs...

Brian: Thanks.

Glory: (Sarcastic) Oh thanks a lot for interrupting.

Brian covers his mom his the dirt. Good-bye Biscuit.

They were on their way back home on a train.

Brian: Wow, look at all those stars.

Stewie: You know, I've read that starlight gives you cancer. Then again, what doesn't these days?

Brian: Listen guys, there's something I've been meaning to tell you both. It's not easy for me to say.

Stewie: Holy crap, HE COMING ON TO US, GLORY.

Glory: (Freaks out) BRIAN, I SWEAR. I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND. AND NOTHING ELSE.

Brian: No guys. I wanted to thank you both for everything you two did today. You guys help me close an important chapter in my life. And I realize this whole trip was mess.

Glory: Come on, Brian. It wasn't all that bad. I have to admit they had been some moments that were...

Music played.

Glory: Dare I say fun?

Brian Glory and Stewie: "_We're off on the road to Rhode Island_" "_We're having the time of our lives_"

Stewie: Take it, dog.

Brian: "_We're quite a pair of partners, just like Thelma and Louise. 'Cept you're not six feet tall_... "

Stewie: "_Oh yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees._"

Brian: Give it time.

Brian Glory and Stewie: "_We're off on the road to Rhode Island_" "_We're certainly going in style_"

Glory: "_We're with an intellectual who craps inside his pants_"

Stewie: How dare you! "_At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants_"

Brian: Oh, pee jokes.

Brian Glory and Stewie: "_We've traveled a bit and we've found_" "_Like a masochist in Newport, we're Rhode Island bound_"

Brian: Crazy travel conditions, huh?

Glory: First class and no class.

Brian: Whoa, careful with that joke, it's an antique.

Brian Glory and Stewie: "_We're off on the road to Rhode Island_" "_We're not gonna stop 'till we're there_"

Brian: Maybe for a beer.

Brian: "_Whatever dangers we may face, we'll never fear or cry_"

Stewie: "_That's right, until we're syndicated, Fox will never let us die_." Please?

Brian Glory and Stewie: "_We're off on the road to Rhode Island_" "_The home of that old campus swing_"

Brian: "_We may pick up some college girls and picnic on the grass_"

Glory: "_Uhuhm, we'd tell you more, but we would have the censors on our ass_"

Brian: Yikes!

Brian Glory and Stewie: _"We certainly do get around." "Like a bunch of renegade pilgrims" "Who are thrown out of Plymouth Colony." "We're Rhode Island bound." "Or like a group of college freshmen" "who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown." "We're Rhode IIIIIISLAAAAND BOOOOOOOOOOund..."_

(Song Ends)

They made it home. The griffins put up a sign that says Welcome home Stewie, Brian, &amp; Glory.

Peter: Look who I found at the train station!

Lois: My babies!

Glory: Hi mom.

Lois: Did you two have a nice trip with Brian?

Stewie: Oh yes. It was alright.

Glory: It was one of the best trips I've ever had.

Lois: That's terrific. Oh, I'm so glad you're home now.

Brian: Hey guys.

Glory: Yeah?

Brian: Thanks for not ratting me out. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you both?

Stewie: Why yes. You remember that episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life, and Greg became his slave?

Brian: Yeah?

Stewie: It's on this afternoon. You can tape it for us. (Exit)

Glory: Oh and put a nice label on it too. (Exit)

Brian sat down and read the newspaper.

Chris: Ok, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. And this time, it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?

Meg: Is it Kitty?

Chris: Uh! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUTTA MY HEEEEEAD!


	2. Road to Europe

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pics of this new adventure starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents Brian Stewie &amp; Glory in"

A second pic shows a british flag that says "Road to Europe"

The third shows Stewie on a bull chasing Brian and Glory.

The fourth shows Brian taking a picture of Stewie mooning a British guard.

The fifth shows Stewie and Glory keeping drunken Brian on his feet.

The sixth shows the trio at night with a torch looking at some stone rocks or something.

The seventh shows them flying a paraglider across Europe.

The eighth shows them driving at night away from the crooked building.

The ninth shows them playing matter horns? On a hill.

The tenth show them in a condula? At night rowing down the rivera river.

And the final one shows them above Europe in a hot air balloon.

**(Griffin House)**

Stewie rushed to the tv.

Stewie: I say, it's 4 o'clock! Away with you!

Meg: Stewie?!

Chris: Change it back!

Glory: No fair.

Brian: Forget it. Jolly Farm Revue is on. The latest indoctrinating pablum for children with not enough to do.

Stewie: Hey! Shut up!

Everybody left for Stewie to enjoy his show.

Mother Maggie: Wakey wakey, children!

Children (including Stewie): Good morning, Mother Maggie.

Mother Maggie: The sun has risen on another day in Jolly Farm. Let's see what life's rich pageant has in store for us.

Stewie: Oh, she has the voice of an angel! Not to mention a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.

Mother Maggie: Play your song, Melody Sheep, to aid the little ones' nourishment. But play softly, for Pengrove Pig wishes to read aloud (Stewie cuts in) from his magic tome that holds every book ever written.

Pengrove Pig: "These were difficult times for the children of Ipswich when the lollipop famine cursed their pleasant village"

Brian: How can you stand watching this? It's dreck and you know it. Oh, don't have the guts to respond, huh? No intellegent defence of this unmitigated crap?

Stewie: Commercial!

He kicked Brian in the nuts.

Stewie: I'm gonna get some graham crackers.

**(Peter's Room)**

Host: Welcome back to KISS Forum, Rhode Island Public Access's most popular show about KISS.

Peter: Lois, hurry! It's back on!

Lois: Calm down, Peter. You know I wouldn't miss a second of this.

Host: OK, let's take a call. You're on KISS Forum.

Fan 1: KISS rules! Whoo!

Host: OK, good call. Good call. All right. Hey, you're on KISS Forum.

Dennis: Yeah. Um, KISS sucks!

Host: Whoa, whoa!

Peter: Trace the call! Trace the call!

Dennis: Yeah, um, they suck big time, man. They bite ass!

Host: Wait a sec, I recognise that voice! Is this Dennis De Young, lead singer from Styx? Come clean, man.

Dennis: Yeah. Yeah, it's me. It's Dennis.

Host: Dennis, you jealous douche. How about I crank a little "Detroit Rock City" and play "Come Sail Away" and we can see how they stack up side by side. HUH? You want that, you high-voiced bastard?! We'll be right back after this.

Paul: Hey, didn't see you come in. We're just getting into shape for our upcoming tour.

Gene: We're playing five big shows in five days. So if you...

Tommy: Rock and roll!

Gene: Why-Why don't you just sit in the corner, huh? Go on.

He went to go sit in the corner.

Gene: So if you're a KISS fan in the Northeast, come out for all five shows of what we're calling KISS-Stock!

Peter: Ah Hell, the Northeast! It's times like this I curse the fact that we live in French Polynesia.

Lois: No, Peter, we're in the Northeast.

Peter: We are? Then KISS is coming to the Northeast. That-That means... Uh?

Lois: That means...

Peter: No, no, Lois. Don't help me. It means we can do something.

Lois: Come on, Peter. You're almost there.

**(Dentist)**

Peter: We can go to KISS-Stock!

The cleaning tool got jabbed in the dentist's eye.

Dentist: AUAUAGHAAHH!

**(Griffin House)**

Stewie watches Jolly Farm, but his tv time gets interrupted.

Peter: Yo, Lois!

Lois: What?

Peter: I'm packing for KISS-STOCK and I can't find my favorite underwear.

Lois: You mean the pair with the rip in the right butt cheek from when you're stepping on 'em pullin' em up in the airplane bathroom from when you had the trots?

Peter: No no, the pair with the hole in the left butt cheek from when I held it in for two hours cos it was an extra long top church sermon and I thought blowing gas would offend Jesus, so I let it go in the vestibule after mass and it sounded like Louis Armstrong.

Lois: Oh, bottom drawer.

Now back to Jolly farm.

Mother Maggie: Children. Tell Mother Maggie what you want to be when you grow up.

Kid 1: A scientist.

Kid 2: A novelist.

Kid 3: A Cambridge don.

Stewie: What's my future coming from these squalid surroundings? Getting into a Fight with some dude at the Laundromat because he was hitting on my baby's mama? I should be there, not here!

Fimled at the BBC LONDON

Stewie: London.

Peter and Lois put their luggage in the car.

Chris: Hey Dad, can me and Meg stay up late every night when you're at KISS-Stock?

Peter: You can do whatever you want, son. Just don't eat from the candy tree.

Candy Tree: He's right to caution you. I feed on children.

The tree ate a little girl.

Lois: You don't mind watching Stewie for a few days? Do ya Brian?

Brian: Nah. Ever since Jolly Farm Revue came on, he's been pretty distracted. It'll be a breeze.

Lois: Well, bye, everyone.

Meg: I can't believe my stupid parents are gonna spend five days following stupid old KISS around. It's painful.

Peter: Not half as painful as a tyre iron upside your head.

Meg: What?

Peter: I'll miss you! (Kisses Meg and Exits)

**(living room)**

Glory: Hey, Stewie, what do you want for lunch?

Glory found a letter on the tv.

"Dear stupid dog and dumb sister, I've gone to live with the children on Jolly Farm."

"Goodbye forever."

"Stewie."

P.S.

"I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas."

"Um, I left the receipt's on top of my bureau."

"I'm probably over the 30-day return limit, but uh, I'm sure if you make a fuss, they'll at least give you a store credit or something."

"It's actually not a horrible sweater."

"It's just I-I-I can't imagine when I would ever wear it. You know?"

"Oh and uh, I also left a button on the bureau."

"Um, I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away."

"I know as soon as I do, I'll find the garment it goes to, and then it'll"

"Wait a minute. Actually, could it have been from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hm."

"Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. OK, goodbye forever."

P.P.S.

"You know what, it might be chilly in London. I'm actually going to take the sweater."

Glory: Oh, my God!

Brian: (Enter) What?

Glory: Stewie's gone to London.

Brian: London? As in London Tipton at the Tipton hotel? Well I'm sure he'll be fine there.

Glory slaps Brian in the back of his head.

Brian: AGH!

Glory: NO STUPID! I MEAN IN EUROPE!

Brian: WHAT?! Oh man. Come on. We gotta go get him back.

Glory: Yeah we should. I can't handle bad things that happen to people who run away. Like that time Gary ran away after Spongebob refused to feed him.

**(Flashback)**

Gary was on the road and got ran over by a bus.

Gary: MEEEAOOOOOOOWWW! (Dies)

Narrator: The next day.

Spongebob: WWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

**(Quahog Airport)**

Stewie: One of these planes must be going to London.

British Mom: Queue up, children spit-spot. Here are the tickets, miss. These are all ours. Thank you.

Stewie sneaks in.

Stewie: Spit-spot, Albert Hall, meat and two veg, Big Ben, Dave Clark Five, pip-pip, cheerio.

Glory and Brian made it to the airport. They ran to the plane where Stewie was. They ran up the cargo conveyor belt.

Lady Worker: Hot towel?

Stewie: Yes, thank you.

He took his bottom off.

Stewie: Well, come on!

They found him.

Stewie: What the hell are you two doing here?

Brian: We're taking you off this plane.

Stewie: Well think again, Rover.

They were moving.

Brian: Great Glory. We're stuck on a transatlantic flight with a petulant runaway. How could this get any worse?

Passenger 1: You know what I hate about flying? The peanuts. First of all, you can't get 'em open. Who are they trying to keep out of these things?

Passenger 2: And what's the deal with the razor-blade slot in the bathroom? Are people actually shaven in there?

Andy: Hi. Andy Dick here. Excuse me. I've got to get my bag up in the overhead bin here. Oh! Whoa, no, no! Oh! Wow, that's wacky!

Glory: (To Brian) You just had to ask!

**(Airplane Exits)**

Stewie: Well now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Did you sleep at all?

Glory: Yeah a little.

Stewie: I couldn't sleep a week. My pillow smelled like farts. But that's all right because we're in England!

Brian: Uh-oh.

Stewie: Well I don't get it. We're in England's verdant fields, it's rosy-rumped maidens and bucktoothed solicitors?

Brian: About 3,000 miles that way. We're in the Middle East.

**(Village)**

Glory: Where are we going, Brian?

Brian: I dunno. I'm not exactly familiar with this particular Arabian village.

Villager 1: Stuff for sale! Bad, cheaply made stuff for sale!

Villager 2: Hey, Americans. You like movies? I've got Dude, My Car Is Not Where I Parked It, But Praise Allah, We Are Not Hurt.

Villager 3: Camels for sale! This one owned by a little old man who only drove it to mosque on Sundays. Just had its knees replaced.

Stewie: Oh great. Buy one and let's get outta here.

Brian: What do ya mean buy one? All I've got is 50 bucks. We're gonna have to distract him. Follow my lead.

Song Time.

Brian Glory and Stewie:_ "You and I are" "so awfully different" "Too awfully different" "to ever be pals"_

Stewie: Do you want to go first?

Brian: Yeah. I'll go. _"Your favorite herooo is the Marquis de Saaade"_

Stewie: Oh you're one to talk. _"You get a stiffiiie from Phylicia Rashad"_

Brian: Oh, one time.

Glory: _"I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair"_

Brian: Oh yeah that's that's quite a nice do there.

Glory: Oh, thanks.

Brian: For me to poop on!

Glory: What?

Brian: Oh come on. You look like Charlie Brown.

Glory: Bite me, Snoopy.

Brian: _"There's not"_

Stewie: _"a whole lot"_

Glory: _"that we've got"_

Brian Glory and Stewie: _"to agree on"_

Brian:_ "Cos I love the strains of a classical scooore"_

Stewie: _"And I like that singeeer who looks like a whooore"_

Glory: Ricky Martin?

Stewie: Love him!

Brian Glory and Stewie:_ "We're too different to ever be pals!" " You and I are" Doo doo doo "So awfully different" Doo doo doo "Too awfully different" Doo doo doo "To ever be pals" Doo doo doo doo doo doo dooie doo_

Glory: _"Your head's as massive as a meteorite"_

Stewie: Oh, very funny. _"Dog has a weenie like a Christmas-tree light"_

Brian: _"I'd bet moneeey you'll marry a honeeey" "Who's pretty and funnyyy, and her name'll be Ted"_

Stewie: Oh! A gay joke.

Brian: Ah! I just work with what you give me. _"You might think"_

Stewie: _"we're in sync"_

Glory: _"but we stink"_

Brian Glory and Stewie: _"as a triiiio"_

Brian: _"Cos yooou get a kick out of carnage and guts"_

Glory: _"And you get a kick out of stroking your..."_

Brian: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You can't say that on TV!

Glory: What? Ego?

Brian: Never mind.

Brian Glory and Stewie: _"We're too different to EVEER BE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLSS"_

They stole a camel.

**(Middle of Nowhere)**

Brian: Oh, man, we're screwed. We're lost in the desert, we have no food, no water, and our camel is dead from exhaustion.

Stewie: (Cried) And I had named him and given him a back story. Chucky had the biggest hump of all the local camels in his village, and he was picked on for it. And then, there was a terrible drought, and Chucky went to the oasis at great risk. Cos he was like that. And he drank and drank and stored enough water in his massive hump to slake the thirst of the entire...

Glory slapped Stewie.

Glory: Will you cut the maudlin crap. We're in trouble here. It's already below freezing as getting colder. We're gonna die unless, unless we do something drastic.

Stewie: Like what?

Glory: We have to slice open our camel's stomach and shelter ourselves in his entrails.

Stewie: (Gasp) Eviscerate Chucky?! I won't do it!

Glory: We're gonna die if we don't.

Stewie: Oh, all right.

Brian cuts Chucky's stomach.

Stewie: Oh, God! It's like Orson Welles's autopsy!

Brian: All right, just hold your breath and go.

Glory: Uh, what are you doing?

Stewie: Wiping my feet. I don't want to track sand inside. Once you get it in there, you can't get it out.

Stewie enter Chucky.

Stewie: Oh, God! I just threw up in his lung!

Glory: Look I know it's gross, but when you're desperate and staring death in the face, you have no choice but to... Oh. There's a Comfort Inn.

Stewie: Really?

Glory: Yeah. Good luck for us, huh?

Stewie: You know actually, once you feng-shui the organs, it's kind of cosy.

**(KISS-STOCK)**

Lois: Oh isn't this exciting?

Fan: Hey, anyone got a light?

They spit fire on his cigar.

Fan: Thanks.

Lois: Peter look. There's Dave and Dottie, the nudists.

Dave: Well hey there, Griffins!

Lois: Dave, Dottie, what a pleasant surprise!

Dottie: Don't tell me you're KISS freaks, too?

Peter: KISS Army soldier since 1977. How about you?

Dave: '76. I don't think anyone knows more about KISS than I do.

Peter: I'm I'm sorry. What was that?

Lois: Peter, It's not important.

Peter: Let him answer, Lois.

Dave: I said no one knows more about KISS than I do.

Dottie: Fellas, please keep it civil.

Peter: I'm not sure I like the tone of your voice, Dave.

Dave: Well, throw down if that's what you want.

Peter: Name Gene Simmon's special-effects mentor.

Dave: Amaze-O the magician. What high school did Paul Stanley go to?

Peter: New York High School of Music. Paula Sheen's band before KISS?

Dave: Wicked Lester. What year were KISS appear on The Jim Nabors Halloween Special?

Peter: Trick question. It was Paul Lynde and it was 1975. Now recite the magazine ad that brought Peter Criss to Paul and Gene's attention.

Peter &amp; Dave "Drummer willing to do anything to make it." Rolling Stone, October, 1972.

Dave: Exemplary!

Peter: Rock and roll!

They stuck their tongues out and rocked out.

**(Comfort Inn)**

Brian: How in the hell are we gonna get out of here?

Stewie: Are you going to finish your red paste?

Brian: No.

Stewie: What about YOUR sweet, crusty thing?

Glory: Nah, you can have it.

Arabian Dad: No more balloon for you! I am sick of you tooling around the village in that thing, honking at the girls, blasting your 1980s American rock music that we got here last week.

Arabian Son: But, Father!

Arabian Dad: Go to your palace!

Brian: Are you guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Glory: Oh yes. Just wait until they have to suffer through Jesus Jones. Pee-yew!

Brian: Not that, dummy. The balloon!

Glory: Oh, my bad. Of course the balloon. Let's take it.

The trio were in the balloon.

**(Sky)**

Brian: Wow! I didn't know it really looked like that.

Stewie: Neither did I.

It looked like a map in a history book.

Stewie: Such lovely printing, too.

Glory: Yeah.

**(KISS-STOCK)**

The band sung their song "Rock N Roll All Night"

KISS: "You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting"

Peter: Oh, Lois, here comes the best part.

KISS: "I wanna rock and roll all night"

A solo for Lois.

Lois: "And have a wonderful time"

Lois messed up the song.

Lois: What? Is that it? No, no, it's uh "And something something all day" Right?

Gene: Oh, man. I've lost all faith in mankind.

Paul: Music is dead to me now.

Eric: Hey, now's our chance!

Tommy: Let's do it!

Eric and Tommy sing and danced for the audience.

**(Hot Air Balloon)**

Stewie: I say, where the hell are we?

They were where the Pope lives.

Father: Pope Pope! It's time to get up and put on your hat.

Pope: It's a stupid hat!

Father: Pope!

Pope: All right, OK. God!

The Pope gets outta the bathroom.

Father: Pope, the floor is not a hamper.

Pope: (Irratated) Maaaaan!

Father: Good. Now it's time to go on the balcony and address the people.

Pope: Aargh!

When the Pope got outside, the trio's balloon carried the Pope away. Hanging him on a statue. The trio got out of the balloon, ran, and hid in an alley.

Brian: Alright. All we gotta do is find the American Embassy to they'll help us get home.

Stewie: Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, and that fat slob, and that insufferable dog.

Glory: Stewie, he's right here.

Stewie: Oh, so he is? Oh well. I stand by it. My future is with Jolly Farm!

Brian: You really think that, don't you?

Stewie: I know it.

Glory: Ok, We've got three days until Mom and Dad get back from their KISS concerts. Let's go to Jolly Farm.

Stewie: Now you're talking!

Pope: (Enters) You make the pope look like a fool! God will make you pay. Smite them!

They waited.

Pope: He's cooking something up.

**(Train in Switzerland)**

Stewie: I say! Brian, look. Three rows down.

Brian: What?

Stewie: Is that Tom Bosley?

Brian: What would Tom Bosley be doing on a train in Switzerland?

Stewie: I'm almost certain. TOM! (Hides) Did he look?

Brian: I don't know.

Stewie: If I yell, you have to watch. TOM BOSLEY! (Hides)

Brian: No, it's not him.

Stewie: Oh.

**(Germany)**

Tour Guide: Besides its beautiful historic architecture, Munich was ze home of many great writers, such as Thomas Mann. You'll find more on Germany's contribution to ze arts in ze pamphlets here provide you.

Brian: Yeah, uh, about your pamphlet. Um, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a gap.

Tour Guide: Everyone was on vacation! On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...

Brian: Wait Wait Wait. What are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939.

Tour Guide: We were invited! Punch was served! (Speaks German)

Brian: Wait. You can't ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Naziism's strangle hold on Germany.

Tour Guide: Nope Nope, he left to manage a Dairy Queen.

Brian: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.

Tour Guide: I VILL HEAR NO MORE INSINUATIOnS ABOUT THE GERMAN PEOPLE! NOTHING BAD HAPPENED! (SPEAKS LIKE A NAZI)

He scared everyone.

Brian: Uh, is that a beer hall?

Tour Guide: Oh, yes. Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

**(KISS-STOCK)**

Lois: Why is everybody glaring at us?

Peter: Why, Lois? I'll tell you why. Your faux pas at the concert was so upsetting, I had to call a university professor to tell me what phrase I should use to describe it.

**(Flashback)**

Professor: Use "faux pas".

Peter: Thanks, Professor.

**(Reality)**

Peter: You've been livin' a lie all these years. You represented yourself as a KISS fan. And why? To make me look foolish!

Lois: No, to make you happy. I wanted to share in all aspects of your life Peter, but I just was never that big a KISS fan.

Peter: I should've guessed when you were willing to dress as Peter Criss. No one wants to be Peter Criss Lois, not even Peter Criss!

Lois: I guess I'm just not as cool as you thought I was.

Peter: I guess not.

Lois felt ashamed and sad.

**(Amsterdam)**

Brian: I'm exhausted. Come on, let's get a coffee.

The place they entered had smoke everywhere.

Brian: (Cough) The smoke is so acrid.

Glory: No joke. I can hardly breathe in here.

Dude: You should get some hash, man. You can't go wrong.

Stewie: Oh, not true. Ground meat can go very wrong for me very quickly, and everyone in this room will suffer the consequences!

Dude: You are out there, man, in the ether.

Stewie: Yess. Well, I'd love to further pursue our palaver, but I'm not fluent in "freaker"! So, I'm just gonna turn back over here, back towards my table.

Brian: You guys hungry?

Stewie: You know, I wasn't when I came in. But isn't that so funny? I'm getting there.

Brian: Yeah, same here.

Glory: Me three.

Spongebob Narrator: Many Minutes Later

The trio felt high and dizzy.

Stewie: I think the only reason we die is...

Brian: Dude Dude, I know what you're gonna say and I am sooo completely...

Glory: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Shh-shh-shh-shh! Baby talking first.

Stewie: The only reason we die is because we accept it as an inevitability.

Brian: D'you think I'll ever find the right woman?

Stewie: Oh, God! Yes, man! Come on, dude, you're great!

**(Road)**

Lois: Are you ever gonna forgive me?

Peter: Lois, I am obligated to keep loving you so I will take my rage out on my own body. Let's go to Denny's. (Parked the car)

Peter: Oh, man! I don't believe it! KISS is here! We don't deserve to be under the same roof with them. Let's go.

Lois: All right. I guess I could fix us something when we... Chaim?

Peter: Lois! Do not address KISS unless they address you first!

Lois: Oh, my God! Chaim Witz? It is you!

Gene: Uh, which one do you want me to sign the left or the right?

Lois: No, no, no. It's Lois. Lois Pewterschmidt. I knew you before you changed your name.

Gene: Lois! I don't believe it! It's been ages! Guys, this is the girl I told you about. I knew her before we formed KISS. Loose Lois!

Paul: Cool! Loose Lois!

Tommy: The legend herself!

Eric: My Grand Slam was supposed to be with sausage.

Lois: I never realized you were Gene Simmons, the rock star!

Gene: You look great, Lois. Anyone nailing you now?

Lois: Yes, my husband nails me. This is him. Peter.

Peter: You...ARE...GODS!

Gene: Yeah, thanks. Right. Hey we're recording some tracks in Boston next month. You should come on by.

Lois: Oh, we'd love that, Chaim. I mean Gene, you big rock star. Bye.

Lois: Oh, wow! Such a small world. He was a nice boy, and he's still nice.

Peter: Listen, Lois, uh, about what I said before, I've never been more wrong in my life. You are the coolest girl in the world! (Looks Up) My wife did KISS!

Lois: And J Geils.

Peter What?

Lois: Nothin'.

**(London)**

Stewie: There it is! The BBC!

They found the Jolly Farm Door.

Stewie: Well, this is it. I'll say goodbye to you both now.

Brian: Well, have a good life, Stewie.

Stewie: Oh, I shall! Oh hey, I've meant to ask you. Did you guys ever find out what that button on my bureau was from?

Glory: Actually yeah. Chris's denim jacket.

Stewie: Ah. I like that jacket. It looks good on him. OK then, we'll keep in touch?

Brian: Sure.

Glory: What ev.

Stewie: Well, I have your address. See ya!

**(Jolly Farm Set)**

Stewie: Oh! There's Happy Hill!

Stewie ran up to a wall.

Stewie: What the deuce?

He saw lights too.

Stewie: Pengrove! Pengrove Pig! Pengrove, I've come to live on Jolly Farm! Oh, my! The magic tome! Wait. It's cardboard! And there are no words, there are just, What is it you've drawn here?

Pengrove: It's Oswald Owl slammin' Mother Maggie in one of them Chinese basket, eh? Dead brill, eh?

He took his Pig head off.

Stewie: AGH!

He ran to Mother Maggie.

Stewie: Mother Maggie, thank God. something's terribly wrong!

Mother Maggie: Whose stinky brat is this?

Stewie: What? That's not your voice! Your voice is lyrical, like the gentle strum of a lute!

Mother Maggie: Piss off, ya grotty little wanker!

She kicked Stewie off stage.

Stewie: It's a fake! It's not real!

Brian: We thought it'll be best for you to find out on your own, Kid.

A fake cloud fell on Stewie head.

Glory: We're sorry, Stewie.

Stewie: I feel like such a fool. Don't even look at me!

Brian: Hey, come on.

Glory: Ah You wanna get some ice cream? That'd make you feel better, right?

He shook his head no.

Brian: You wanna get some McDonald's?

He shook his head no again.

Glory: You wanna take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?

He shook his head yes.

Brian: OK, let's go take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.

**(Griffin House)**

Meg: Jolly Farm is on, Stewie. Don't you wanna watch?

Stewie: The Stewie who loved Jolly Farm is dead, Megan. Meet the Stewie who loves funky fruit hats! (Funky Fruit Hat Dance)

Chris: Oh, turn it up! Mom and Dad are on!

Host: Hey, we're back here with more KISS Forum. I'm here with the Griffins, and they got something really exciting to share.

Peter: Yeah. My wife here did KISS.

Host: Get outta here!

Lois: Hand to God.

Host: Whoa Peter! How does that make you feel?

Peter: I feel like I've done KISS, too. And it feels good.

Host: Lois, you got any tips for the young girls in the audience tonight?

Lois: Well, the best advice I can give is, that you never know who's gonna grow up to be famous, so just make yourself available.

Host: Cool. Cool. Well, that's our show for tonight. Now stay tuned for Battlestar Galactica Forum. (Puts on Mask) Welcome to Battlestar Galactica Forum.


	3. Road to Rupert

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pics of this new adventure starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

The second shows a map of North America with Rupert on the side saying "Road to Rupert"

The third shows Brian, Stewie, &amp; Glory on the American side of a civil war against the British.

The fourth shows Brian proposing a toast to Stewie and Glory singing.

The fifth shows them skiing down a mountain.

The sixth shows Brian and Glory helping Stewie from getting his tongue stuck to a pole.

The seventh shows the trio running away from a bull as the sun sets.

The eighth shows them on mopeds racing on the road in a snowy place.

The ninth shows them picking fresh water in the wilderness with hats.

The tenth shows stewie as a country singer, Glory as a cowgirl, and Brian on a horse acting like it's a bull.

The eleventh shows them hanging onto a chopper plane over the rocky mountains.

And the final one shows them doing big finish poses.

We start off with the Griffins having a yard sale.

Lois: Peter, you're selling your anvil?

Peter: Yeah, I've had a lot of good times with this thing.

**(Flashback)**

Peter pulled his anvil up in a tree with a rope to drop it on someone who would pick up a dollar Peter left on the ground.

Peter: (Peter Laugh) Ooh! A dollar!

He went to pick it up and dropped the anvil on his head.

**(Reality)**

Herbert: Hey there, Chris.

Chris: Hi, Mr. Herbert.

Herbert: Selling ya old hand-me-downs?

Chris: Yep.

Herbert: You got anything you used to wear in the summertime?

Chris: Just these old shorts.

Herbert: (Bug-Eyed) Sweet Jesus.

Lois: You know, Brian, I'm looking forward to getting rid of some of this crap. Like this movie, "Stymie Groffin: The Untold Story"? It's not a movie at all, Brian. Just three episodes back-to-back. This thing is an insult.

Brian: Well that that might be overstating things a little.

Lois: It's a middle finger to the fan is what it is. I tell ya, FOX should be embarr...

Some men took Lois away.

Stanford Cordray came over and bought Rupert while Brian reads the paper.

Stanford: Give you a dollar for this.

Brian: Sold.

Stanford: (Exit)

Stewie came over.

Stewie: Brian, where's Rupert? I just left him here to watch my things.

Brian: Uh-oh!

Stewie: What?

Brian: Uh Uh, nothing, I haven't seen him.

Stewie: It's not like him to wander off. (Calling) RUPERT? RUPERT! Oh, no. What if he's been kidnapped?

Brian: Just calm down.

Stewie: (Freaking out) I've got to save him, Brian. What if he's dead? I don't think I can handle a funeral.

**(Funeral)**

In space, Stewie says the final words in Rupert's funeral.

Stewie: Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most. Human. Orders off.

Brian plays "Amazing Grace" on the backpipes as Rupert gets shot up into space.

Glory: Farewell, young hero.

Rupert gets shot into space where he can rest in peace.

**(Reality)**

Peter: HOLY CRAP. Evel Knievel gloves! I bet I could do a wheelie with these! How much for the gloves?

Glory: Dad, those are yours.

Peter: Ten bucks. Two. Seven. Four. Five-Fifty. Ten. Sold! Sucker. I would've gone with fifteen, easy. I am so stupid. (Puts on the gloves) AWESOME!

Peter puts a ramp so he can jump over cars.

Lois: Peter, you can't drive the car over that. You're gonna get hurt.

Peter: Lois, I don't come down to Burger King and tell you how to do your job.

Lois: Peter, I don't work at Burger...

Peter: (Mocking) I don't work at Burg AGAGAAGAAGAAWFAHW! I'm busy. Now if you excuse me, I have some death to defy.

Peter starts his car and runs over the ramp and ruined the cars he ran over. He also landed upside-down.

Peter: Wow! This is just like what happened to Matthew Broderick. Except no one's dead.

**(Griffin House)**

Peter reads a book on the couch.

(Doorbell rings)

Peter: Hey, Joe.

Joe: Morning, Peter. I'm here to revoke your driver's license.

Peter: WHAT? WHY?

Joe: We got reckless driving, disturbing the peace, plus the driver in one of those other cars was a virgin whose hymen was busted by the airbag, so rape.

Peter: Ok. Well I guess you can take my license. Course it's all the way up here.

Peter messes with Joe leaving his license in the air.

(Funny moment)

Joe: Peter, knock it off. Give it to me. Give me the damn license. I mean it, Peter.

Peter: Come on. Up here. Don't you want it? Come and get it. You can do it.

Joe: You're starting to piss me off. YOU'RE STARTING TO PISS ME OFF (Punched Peter)

Peter: OOOF!

Joe grabs Peter's license and leaves.

**(Griffin House) Again**

Peter: Aw, man, this sucks. I got no license. I can't go anywhere.

Lois: Well, this is your own fault, Peter, and if you want my opinion, a little time away from the bar will do you some good. (Exit)

Peter: I'll show her. I'll just go to another bar.

Peter turns the TV on.

Announcer: We now return to Cheers.

Guys: NOOORM!

Peter: And Peter! Yaaaa!

Woody: How's life in the fast lane, Mr. Peterson?

Peter: Griffin.

Norm: I can find the on-ramp, Woody.

Peter: HE WAS TALKING TO ME, NORM. QUICK STEALIN' MY PUNCH LINES, YA FAT DRUNK!

He punched the TV and broke it.

Peter: That show stopped being funny after Kristie Alley ate Shelley Long. Ah, man, now I can't even watch TV. Da hell am I gonna do all day? Ya know what? It's alright. It's ok. I don't need tv. I'll just make my own sitcom in my head. And I'll give it an upbeat 80's sitcom theme.

_"This time around, I'm staying at home."_

_"And things are gonna get betteeeer."_

_"Settlin' in, lovin' my wife."_

_"But then I got that letteeeer."_

_"My Black Son, My Black Son."_

_"Now each day my heart is getting biggeeeer."_

_"Don't even remember sleeping with that lady, but I diiiid."_

_"My Black Son."_

_"He's coming to stay."_

_"My Black Son."_

_"He's making each daaaay The best that he can."_

_"Also he's a ninja."_

**(Griffin House)**

Stewie's on the couch feeling upset and drunk.

Brian: What the Hell's wrong with you?

Stewie: I'm so distraut over loser Rupert, I needed something to calm me down.

Brian: This is an entire bottle of nightquil.

Stewie: I know and it's doing wonders. Come here, Puss. Come here. Come here, Puss. Here, Puss.

Brian: What are you...What are you doing?

Stewie: Calling the cat.

Brian: We don't have a cat. That's a throw pillow.

Stewie: (Baby Cry)

Glory: (Enters) Maybe we should buy another Rupert.

Brian: Good idea.

**(Quahog Toy Store)**

Stewie: Why the Hell have you two brought me to the toy store?

Brian: We're buying you another Rupert.

Glory: Hey, look at this one. This one's cute, huh? And if we buy it, they save a real gorilla in the wild. And if we don't, they kill one.

Brian: Damn, these guys are playing hardball.

Stewie: You can't just take some Korean-made velveteen primate and call it Rupert. Now come on, this is all time we could be using to find Rupert's kidnappers.

Brian feels guilty.

Glory: Brian, what did you do?

Brian: (Deep Breath) Look, I, uh I may as well come clean with you. Rupert wasn't kidnapped. I accidentally sold him at the yard sale.

Stewie: (Gasp)

Glory: WHAT!?

Stewie: You son of a bitch! (Crying)

Brian: Come on, Stewie, I'm really sorry. It was an accident.

Glory: Damn you, Brian. How could you do this to Stewie and sell Rupert?

Stewie: Yeah! What you've done is more horrible than sex with Sharon Stone.

**(Flashback?)**

Guy: Wow, that was great! One minute I'm filling up at Chevron, and the next I'm having sex with Sharon Stone.

Sharon: Yeah. Now comes the best part.

Sharon was a monster who ate the guy's head.

**(Griffin House)**

Lois: Get out of the fridge, Peter.

Peter: There is no Peter, only Zuul.

Lois: I said get out of the fridge!

Peter: All right, all right! Geez, Lois, I'm just trying to amuse myself, since I don't have a damn driver's license.

Lois: Look Peter, it's getting a little annoying having you around the house all the time. So you'll be happy to know I got you your own personal driver.

Peter: My own driver?! Holy crap, that's awesome! Where is he?

Lois: She's right here, Peter.

Peter: Meg?!

Meg: Yeah, Dad. I don't mind driving you around till you get your license back.

Peter: What?! Lois, this is the best you could do?!

Lois: Well, it was either Meg or a talking monkey smoking a cigar, but I didn't you'd like that.

Monkey: I've already accepted another job.

Peter: Lois, you picked the opposite thing that I would like.

Monkey: It's all right. I would've driven you bananas.

Peter: Oh, oh, and he makes jokes. Nice going, Lois.

Meg: Dad, are you ready?

Peter spits at Meg.

**(Griffin House)**

Glory: What exactly are you trying to do, Stewie?

Stewie: It's very simple, Glory. I've taken DNA from the dollar bill Brian was paid for Rupert. Now to check that DNA against the federal database. Ooh, we have a match! Stanford Cordray, 89 Spooner Street. (Who is also 39 years old, born on June 20, 1966, and Watches Cold Case, Without A Trace, and Yu-Gi-Oh.)

Stewie: That's only a few blocks away. Let's go!

The trio rushed to Stanford House.

Stewie: Hello? Hello?

The house was empty.

Stewie: (Upset) It can't be. This house is deserted. He moved. He's gone. Rupert's gone.

Brian: Wait a minute, look! The moving truck. We're not too late.

They stopped a car and got in.

Mayor West: Can I help you, three?

Glory: Follow that truck.

West did nothing.

Glory: Didn't you hear me? I said, Follow that truck.

Mayor West: Oh, I heard you. What I didn't hear was, "Please."

Brian, Stewie, &amp; Glory: Please follow the truck.

And they were off.

Mayor West: I always enjoy traveling companions. Let's play 20 questions. Am I Bo Bice? Yes, I am. Well played, worthy adversary.

Minutes later.

Stewie: We're gaining on him! I'm coming, Rupert!

West stopped the car.

Mayor West: I'm sorry, but I can go no further.

Stewie: What?! Why not?!

Mayor West: If I enter Connecticut, I'm entering every state that Connecticut's ever been with. Good luck, brave travelers.

The trio ran to catch up to the truck but the truck got away.

Stewie: No! We were so close!

A Box fell out of the truck.

Stewie: I say, what a bit of serendipity. Now we've got that fellow's address. Let's see "Aspen, Colorado."

Brian: Well, you can forget that. We're not going all the way to Aspen.

Glory: No way.

Stewie: What?! But I can't leave Rupert to perish. For the rest of my life, I'll be as lonely as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell after the rapture.

**(Flashback)**

Pat: Damn it, Jerry, why are we the only ones still here?

Jerry: I don't know, we hated all the right things.

Pat: Now there's nothing left to hate.

Jerry: I'm gonna hate that rock.

Pat: No, I'm gonna hate that rock.

Jerry: Let's both hate that rock.

Pat: I hate you.

Jerry: I hate you, too.

They made out while party music played.

Brian: Look, Stewie, don't you think, at some point, you're gonna have to let Rupert go?

Glory: Well, he is getting a little old to have a teddy bear.

Stewie: Guys, I'm one!

Glory: Still?

Stewie: What?

Brian: Look, we're not going to Colorado. We're turning around and going home.

Glory: Let's go, Brian.

Stewie: Fine, then, I'll go by myself. See you two from the back of my milk carton. Want that on your conscience, Brian? Try explaining this to Lois. You'll wind up in a Dumpster with a bunch of slow, unadoptable greyhounds.

Brian: Don't joke about that. That's like the Holocaust to us.

Stewie: Yeah, well, when greyhounds start running The New York Times and the World Bank, I'll be more inclined to believe you. Now, are you guys coming or not?

Brian: Fine.

They waited with their thumbs up for a car to show up.

Brian: "Take to the highway Won't you lend me your name"

Glory: Who sings that song?

Brian: James Taylor.

Stewie: Yeah, let's keep it that way.

**(Road)**

Peter: This sucks. Can you believe I'm stuck with Meg driving me around?

Meg: Dad, it's just you and me in the car.

Peter: Don't remind me. It's bad enough I got a suspended license, I gotta ride around town with Stinky McPoop-Pants. I want apple juice.

Meg: Dad, you left your apple juice at home.

Peter: I want apple juice!

Meg: (huff) You want to watch SpongeBob?

Peter: Yes. With apple juice.

Peter watches Spongebob and Patrick singing the Camp Fire Song Song.

Peter: Yeah! Yeah, SpongeBob.

Meg felt annoyed.

**(Road)**

The trio was dropped off somewhere.

Stewie: Thanks for the ride, Bandit. Good luck tapping some of that...hot, hot Sally Field...tail.

Bandit: Knock it off. I don't like it any more than you do. (exit)

Brian: Where the hell are we?

**(Gettysburg National Memorial)**

Stewie: Oh, this is history right here, Guys. Gettysburg. Billy Yanks. The 20th Maine. So many lives lost. All in pursuit of the ideal that no man should be subjugated because of the color of his skin. These boys paid the ultimate price here. For equality. For humanity. You're welcome.

Black Guy: I'm sorry?

Stewie: I'm just sayin', make it worth our while, you know? We wrote a pretty big check for you folks here, so, um You know, whatever. It's fine. It's fine. Doesn't matter. Just, uh I Just hope you're making the best of what we gave you here.

Black Guy: I would say that, given the events that preceded it, the couple hundred years or so, maybe we're about even.

Stewie: Yeah, no, no. We gave more.

**(Road at night)**

The guys are drunk while Meg drives.

Peter: Hey, Cleveland, who would you rather do: Queen Latifah or Halle Berry, but she's been dead for six hours?

Cleveland: Aw, man. That's a tough one.

Quagmire: What she died of?

Joe: I've seen some bodies that have been dead for, uh, six hours. Some of them aren't too bad.

Cleveland: Well then Halle Berry.

Meg: God, will you guys just shut up back there?!

Cleveland gave Meg a wet willie.

Meg: Aah! Gross! Would you stop it? Stop it!

The guys giggled.

Peter: Hey, guys, check this out.

Peter lit Meg hat on fire.

Joe: Hey, Meg, don't be such a hothead.

Meg: What?!

Cleveland: Hey, Meg, you sure look hot today.

Meg: What?!

Peter: Hey, Meg, I lit your scalp on fire.

Meg: AAAAAUUUGGHHHHAAUA!

Quagmire: Don't worry, I'll put it out.

He sprayed beer on her.

Meg: GGGGGRRRRR!

Meg stopped the car and a guy crashed into her.

Guy: What the hell is your problem, you dumb bimbo?!

Meg beats him up.

Guy: Oh, oh, God, stop!

He got back into his car.

Peter: Meg, that was awesome.

**(Colorado)**

The trio traveled to Colorado on the back of a truck while the song "On the Road Again" played by Willie Nelson. And they took pics of them in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, and Kansas.

_"On The Road Again"_

_"Just Can't Wait To Get On The Road Again"_

_"The Life I Love Is Making Music With My Friends"_

_"And I Can't Wait To Get On The Road Again"_

Brian: If we wanna get to Aspen, we're gonna have to get over those mountains somehow.

**(Helicopter Rental)**

Brian: Excuse me, uh, how much is it to rent a helicopter?

Guy: It's ten bucks an hour. But there's a $100,000 deposit.

Brian: Oh, God. Looks like we're walking.

Stewie: Wait a minute, it says here you accept cash, check or a jaunty tune?

Guy: Well, this rental agreement was drafted back when musicals were culturally relevant. Unfortunately, that's no longer the case.

Glory: Well, I can prove to you that's a whole lot of nonsense.

Glory: _"You may think that song and dance is dated, boring, and dryyy."_

_"But you might just learn to like it if you give it a tryyy."_

_"You could laugh and sing and dance as gaily as an elf."_

_"But just in case you don't believe me, ask the man himseeelf."_

Glory: Mr. Kelly? Will you show us?

Mr. Kelly: I'll show you.

Glory: Let's do it.

Mr. Kelly: Good.

They danced.

Mr. Kelly: One, two, three, four.

Glory: One, two, three, four.

Mr. Kelly: One, two, three.

Glory: One, two, three.

Mr. Kelly: La, la, la, la, la, la.

Glory: La, la, la, la, la, la.

Mr. Kelly: You see?

Glory: It's easy.

They tap danced and had fun.

It was getting catchy.

And a bunch of dance tricks.

Glory: Look at me! I'm dancing!

Mr. Kelly spin around with one leg out. Glory jumped over it a lot. Bringing her back to Stewie and Brian with big finishes.

Guy: Okay, you can have the helicopter.

**(Helicopter in the Sky)**

Stewie: Brian, be careful 'cause the mountains are the same color as the sky.

Brian: What?

Stewie: I said, be careful 'cause the mountains are the same color as the...WWHHHOOOOOOOOAAAA!

Glory: What the hell was that?

Stewie: I'm practicing my comedy crash.

Glory: I can't believe my dancing made us come to this.

Brian: Well, keep it down 'cause I'm trying to...

Brian, Stewie, and Glory: WWHHHOOOOOOOOAAAA!

They were crashing down. They were screaming loud.

Glory: WWHHHOOOOOOOOAAAA!

Brian: WWHHHOOOOOOOOAAAA!

Stewie: (Devil laugh) BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Brian, Stewie, and Glory: WWHHHOOOOOOOOAAAA!

They crashed.

Glory: Imagine the dance I'm gonna have to do to get our security deposit back.

They've traveled a bit and made it.

Stewie: Oh, my God! Brian, Glory, look!

Brian: It's Aspen. We made it.

Glory: Well, it looks like you're gonna be reunited with Rupert after all, Stewie.

Stewie: And just in time, too. I can't keep my teeth from chattering. (Toy chattering teech) Isn't that fun? I got these at Jack's Joke Shop in South Attleboro, Massachusetts. Remember, if it ain't funny, it ain't worth Jack.

Brian slaps Stewie.

Stewie: Ah! Bitch.

**(Griffin House)**

Peter: Aw, you should've seen what our amazing, freakin' daughter did to that guy, Lois. She kicked his ass. It was like what life did to Dana Plato.

Lois: Meg, how could you do that?! You should call that man and apologize.

Peter: Hey, hey, hey. Don't you talk to her like that. Meg's as cool as the other side of the pillow.

**(Flashback)**

Peter turned his pillow.

Peter: (Gasp) Billy Dee Williams.

Billy: Hello, Peter. Welcome to the cool side of the pillow. You've had a hard day. Rest that weary head of yours and drift on off to dreamland.

Peter enjoys his pillow.

Billy: Works every time.

**(Stanfords new House)**

Brian: Well, this is the place. Looks pretty fancy.

Brian rang the doorbell.

Stanford: Can I help you?

Brian: Uh, yes, my name's Brian, um Look, to make a long story short, I accidentally sold you a teddy bear back in Rhode Island, and I kind of need it back.

Stewie spotted Rupert.

Stewie: Rupert! It's, it's Rupert!

Wife: Stanford, who is it?

Stanford: It's nothing, dear, I'll handle it. I'm sorry, but that bear belongs to Timmy. Now, please leave.

Stewie spotted stanford's skiing trophies.

Stewie: Wait, wait. How about a ski off?

Stanford: What?

Stewie: You heard me. First one down the mountain wins. If I win, I get Rupert.

Stanford: Interesting. What do I get if I win?

Stewie: My dog.

Brian: Dude!

Glory: What?!

Stanford: Hmm. What can he do?

Stewie: Uh, If you put peanut butter anywhere on your body, he'll lick it off. Anywhere.

Stanford: Well, I did go to Choate. All right, it's a deal.

**(Rhode Island)**

Peter enjoys spending time with Meg.

_"She's the kind of girl who's not too shy."_

_"And I can tell I'm her kind of guy."_

_"She danced close to me like I hoped she would."_

_"She danced for me like I hoped she would."_

_"Somethin' tells me I'm into somethin' good"_

Meg: You know, Dad, it's been really great hanging out with you. I know there's probably a million things you'd rather be doing.

Peter: Are you kidding, Meg? I've had more fun with you than I did going to see Lost in Translation with Cleveland and Quagmire.

**(flashback)**

Quagmire: What do you think he whisper to her?

Cleveland: I'll bet it was just right.

**(Reality)**

Peter: Look, I know sometimes I give you a hard time. You know, calling you names, reading your diary, farting in your cereal when you go to get milk and then laughing: "Ha-ha ha! She doesn't know she's eating my fart." But, you know, Meg, I'm starting to realize that, I got a really wonderful daughter.

Meg: Thanks, Dad.

Joe: Peter, good news. Your suspension is up. You can have your license back.

Peter: You you mean it? I'm free? No more getting driven around? Aw, sweet!

Meg: So, I guess this means you don't need me anymore. You'll probably go back to treating me like crap, huh?

Peter: Well, maybe just to keep up appearances in front of the family. You know, peer pressure and all that. But from now on, Meg, you and me are secret best friends.

Lois: (Enters) Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?

Peter: Not me! What I want is a fresh glass of better daughter!

Peter throws his lemonade at Meg.

Peter: Hey!

He winked at her which made her smile.

**(Colorado)**

Glory: Stewie, I don't think this is such a good idea for you to race this guy.

Stewie: Trust me, Glory, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

Brian shot the gun and they were off. Stanford got ahead.

Stewie: Oh, no, if only I had rockets in my skis. Oh, wait, I totally have rockets in my skis.

With his rockets on, Stewie was ahead.

Stewie: And now I just sit back, relax and watch my progress.

Stewie turned his skis into a little cabin.

Crone: Tea, sir?

Stewie: Oh, thank you, Crone. You're so pleasant.

Crone: Would you like to check on the race, sir?

Stewie: Yes, why not. (Checked the race) AAAUAUAUUGGH!

Stewie crashed and lost.

Stewie: Well, that's it, I suppose.

Brian: Listen, I'm, I'm really sorry, Stewie. For everything.

Glory: Me too. We know how much Rupert meant to you.

Stewie: I don't know, maybe this is a sign that you were right. Maybe I am getting too old for Rupert. I guess I've just got to...let him go.

Brian: Wow! That's very grown up of you, Stewie.

Glory: We're so proud of you, Stewie.

Stewie: Thanks. I love you, guys.

Brian and Glory: We love you too.

The trio hugged.

Timmy: Hey, dog, let's go. My dad won you fair and square.

Glory: Uh, Brian, you're not really gonna live with them, are you?

Brian: No.

Glory: And Stewie, you're not really over Rupert are you?

Stewie: No way.

Glory: That's what I thought.

Stewie: Oh, Crone.

Crone threw hot tea in Timmy's face.

Timmy: AAUGA! AGAGAU! AAUAUUAA!

Brian: How are we gonna get out of here?

Glory: You still got the starting guns?

Brian: Yeah.

Glory: Give em to us.

They car jacked a guy.

Stewie: GET OUT OF THE (Bleep) CAR! GET OUT OF THE (Bleep) CAR RIGHT NOW, MAN!

Guy: OH, JESUS!

Glory broke the glass window.

Glory: GET OUT OF THE (Bleep) CAR! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! I DON'T GIVE A (Bleep)!

Guy: OH GOD! OH GOD!

Stewie: I'LL (Bleep) KILL YA! GET OUT OF THIS (Bleep) CAR YA FREELOADER!

They got in and left to go back home in Quahog.

Brian: Did we just carjack someone?

Stewie: We sure did, Brian.

Glory: We certainly did.


	4. Road to Germany

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second shows a map that says "Road to Germany"

The third shows Brian, Stewie, &amp; Glory on stage as sexy ladies.

The fourth shows Brian having his fists on his hips and Glory with her arms crossed seeing Stewie as a little girl skipping.

The fifth shows them in one airplane.

The sixth shows the trio making sausages.

The seventh shows them and Mort in a tank at war.

The eighth shows them making a plan for war.

The ninth shows Stewie and Brian dancing on the street.

The tenth shows them and Mort on stage dancing with bottles on their heads.

The eleventh shows Brian and Stewie as parts of a clock.

The twelvth shows The trio and Mort as soldiers fighting in a war.

And the final one shows Stewie saluting with The American Flag behind him.

**(Griffin House)**

Lois: Okay, everyone. Hurry up and hand in you oscar picks before it starts.

Lois: Peter, for best picture, you wrote "Wild Hogs"

Peter: Lois, Four Guys from the Suburbs hit the road. And the road hit back.

Lois: HAHAHA! Peter knows the advertising lines of every movie. Blades of Glory.

Peter: Kick some Ice.

Lois: Entrapment.

Peter: The Trap is Set.

Lois: RV

Peter: On a Family Vacation. No one can hear you scream.

Lois: Philadelphia.

Peter: Poop Shoot. Lawsuit.

Quagmire: I remember that one.

Joe: That one doesn't sound real.

Oscars Host: Ladies and gentlemen, Scarlett Johanson and for some reason Steve Bushemi.

Peter: Man, look at that Steve Buscemi. Everyone of his teeth is in business for itself.

Scarlett: You know, Steve, the artdirector's job is never an easy one.

Steve: That's right, Scarlett, but this year-

Steve's teeth were talking.

Tooth 1: Hey, where are you going?

Tooth 2: I'm going to the Elton John party.

Tooth 1: What the hell? I told you, we're staying for the governor's ball.

Tooth 2: And I told you, Tim, we would see how the evening plays out. (Exits)

Tooth 3: you guys have fun. I'm going for Scarlett.

He went in Scarlett's bra.

Tooth 3: Ah it smells like Josh Hartman's balls in there.

Mort: Peter, may I use your restroom? I took a lots of any stool hardner, ooh. And they're fighting it out in there.

Peter: Yeah, it's upstairs, Mort.

**(Upstairs)**

Mort: Oh, boy! I hope there's scale in there. I'd like to have it before and after on this one. (Knocks)

Meg: I'll be out in a minute.

Mort: I really need to go.

Quagmire: She said she'll be out in a minute.

He went to Stewie's Room.

Mort: Oh, I hope there's another bathroom in here. Oh god! (Enters)

Mort: Oh, thank god, a porta potty.

Mort confused Stewie's Time Machine for a porta potty. He went in and went back in time.

**(Downstairs)**

Chris: Dad, Mr. Goldman never drank his Ensure. Can I have it even though it's dinner time?

Peter: Sure Chris. Drink Ensure as a meal. Or inbetween meals.

Peter rides a bike.

Peter: Or when you're on the go.

Lois: Is Mort still in the bathroom?

Glory: I'll go see if he's all right, mom.

Brian: I'll go with you.

**(Upstairs)**

Brian: Mort?

Glory: Hello? Mort?

Stewie came in.

Stewie: Hey! Hey-hey-hey-hey! What are you two think you're doing in my room? Don't touch my stuff with your dirty walking on the streets paws and your dirty shoes.

Brian: We're just looking for Mort. He came up here an hour ago and never came back down.

Stewie: Uh-oh.

Brian: What?

Stewie: My time machine. It's been activated.

Glory: Wow! A Time machine? We didn't know you've had a time machine.

Stewie: Yeah, I built it after I got bored with that european "see and say".

**(Flashback)**

The pig goes- Wank!

The cow goes- Shazoooooo!

Stewie: It most certainly does not.

The rooster goes- Kikkery-gee!

Stewie: Where? Where does the rooster say that?

The monkey goes- Ma-kak!

Stewie Oh, no-no-no! It does not.

The elephant goes- Fuamp!

Stewie: Oh yeah, kinda.

Brian: Stewie, do you think Mort might have accidently stumbled into the time machine?

Stewie: Yeah, I suppose it's possible. Let's ask Rick Moranis and the backup singers from "Little Shop of Horrors"

"Da-rum"

"I saw a red-headed guy come up here about an hour ago."

"Mort ..."

" He seemed to be in a rush and had a pain look on his face."

"Had to poop..."

"And he stepped into that box there and suddenly there was a big flash of light."

"That's when he get back in time."

Brian: Oh my God! Stewie we have to get him back. Where did the machine sent him?

Stewie: I don't know.

Brian: What?! How can you not know? It's a time machine. Doesn't it have like display that tells the year or something?

Stewie: Oh, I'm sorry Brian, is my time machine not as good as your time machine? Oh, yeah, oh. You probably got a way better time machine. Yeah. Stupid dog!

Glory: Stewie, How bout you just press a couple of buttons and bring him back?

Stewie: No Glory, he can't just come back. He needs the return pad.

Brian: Oh, we can't just leave Mort back in time. That'd be more irresponsible that silent movie porn.

Silent Movie Porn scene boring.

Stewie: All right. We'll go get him. But remember guys, don't touch anything when we're in the past. Even stepping on a mosquito could create a chain reaction that drastically alters the present.

Brian: Really?

Stewie: Nah, you can do whatever you want. C'mon!

They entered the time machine and were going back in time.

Stewie: Okay. If everything worked properly this should be the exact time and place that Mort was sent to. Now we just got to figure out where we are.

Brian: Or when we are.

Stewie: Oh, that's such a douche time travellers thing to say.

Cow: Shazoo!

Stewie: Okay. We're somewere in Europe. Aha! Look! This trail of used tissues should lead us right to Mort.

Glory: Or to Quagmire.

Stewie: Aha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, he's gross.

The trio followed the trail and it leads to Warsaw. They found a Jewish Church. "Hebrew Temple of Warsaw"

Brian: Warsaw. Well, at least we know where we are.

Jew: And so we had encrucified. But this doesn't leave this room. Anyway, the point is, may Haim and Sarah have many wonderful years together. Amen.

Glory: Um, excuse us! We're looking for Mr. Goldman?

Some had their hands up.

Brian: Mr. Mort Goldman?

Some put their hand down.

Stewie: He's a small business owner? Tends to wine a lot? Kinda of hypochondriac?

They raised their hands again.

Stewie: Oh no, you can't put you hand back up after you put it down. You know- Never mind. Dumb Jews.

Brian: Stewie, look at this. September 1st, 1939. There's something about that date.

Jew: I now pronounce you man and wife. Mazl tov! Now step on the glass.

Mort: Oh, but be careful though. At my wedding I cut myself on the glass. And when I've got to Palm Beach for the honeymoon, I had to put a wonder bread bag on my foot to keep the sand out.

The glass has been stepped on.

Everyone: Mazl tov!

They found Mort sitting in the front row.

Brian: Oh, Mort, thank God.

Mort: Glory Brian and Stewie? You're in heaven too?

Glory: Mort, this isn't heaven. You've time travelled into the past.

Mort: What? How is that possible?

Glory: Just trust me, we're here to bring you back home.

Mort: But it's got to be heaven, Glory. Look! There's my frugal aunt Ruth, my drifty uncle Isaac, my bogen hunting aunt Flo, and my great aunt Vera, who didn't like to spend a lot on anything.

Brian: C'mon Mort, we gotta get out of here.

Mort: But Brian, when am I gonna have another chance to see my grandpa Haim's wedding with my own eyes.

Stewie: Yes, you know, he's right, Guys. Besides, I've never been to Hebrew wedding.

Glory: Brian?

Brian: Well, I guess we could stay a little longer.

Stewie: Oh, wonderful. I wanna be hoisted up on the chair and see what it feels like to be top jew.

Music played and they all danced all around. At the German Army Headquarters, The Germans were planning to invade Poland. At the wedding, Stewie enjoyed being carried while sitting in a chair. The Tanks and Planes were heading for Warsaw. They went outside and saw Tanks and Planes.

Stewie: Uh-oh.

Stewie quickly put his jewish hat on Brian. While the Germans were invading, The trio and Mort were hiding.

Brian: I knew there was something about this date. September 1st, 1939. This is the German Invasion of Poland.

Glory: Ya know? It's also the exact day and year that Rene Russo was born.

Brian: Stewie, we gotta get out of here fast. Quick, set up the return pad and let's get back to our own time.

Stewie: Right.

They got on the return pad, but it didn't work.

Glory: Um...What's wrong with it and Why we're still here?

Stewie: I don't know.

Brian: Stewie, it's not working.

Stewie: Yeah. And you know what's not gonna fix it? Your shouting.

Mort: Aw God! Should we ask somebody for help?

Stewie: Yeah, right. How many pollocks does it take to fix the time machine? Let's find out.

Brian: No, we can't stay here. We'll have to get Mort to England. It's the only place he'll be safe from the nazis.

Mort: Oh dear, they're awful nazis. If they catch me, they'll beat me unmerciful and rub dirt my assneck and all over my assy nipples.

Glory: Ok What...the (Bleep)?

Nazis found them.

Nazi: Juden. Ruber der schmutzen auf deine assneck.

Our heroes ran off. Away from the nazis.

Brian: All right, there's the checkpoint. If we can get past it, we're out of occupied Poland.

Glory: Right. Mort, you're set?

Mort: Oh God. I hope this works.

They approached the guards at the gate.

Stewie: Hello. We'd like to leave Poland now. And we'll be bringing our friend, who's absolutely 100% not jewish.

Mort: Hey, how about the Jesus, huh? What a guy!

German: Father, we are so glad you're here. We needed to conduct last right for our friend over there.

Mort: Oh- Well, ah- I suppose, eh- Dear god! Um- Non jewish god, be a mensch-

Brian, Glory, &amp; Stewie fake Coughed.

Mort: I mean a good guy, 'cause it says in the old book- Not so old though. You know still good, still good- Uh, still something good thing to say-

Cough.

Mort: We pray in the name of you and of your son, who died in a freak accident, that you can't really blame on anyone.

Cough.

Mort: Take this man up to your retail pain place.

German: Are you sure you are real priest?

Stewie: Yeah, I can vouch for him, he's real. He's molested me many-many times.

Father: Sorry, I'm late. I was busy doing- am- innocent non-molested things.

German: Wait a minute. Two priests? That is impossible! This collier comes right off.

Half Dead German: This is a filthy jew!

Glory: Oh boy, you, you are, you, you, you are - the worst kind of person.

Brian: Run!

The trio and Mort hopped into a vehicle and drove off with germans after them. They hit a hump and Stewie fell out.

Stewie: Hey, poppy, I need to borrow this.

He took a piece of the stand and rode it like a skateboard. After, They lost them in manure.

German: Das poop!

It was evening, and our heroes were walking.

Mort: I wanna get back on the mototcycle.

Brian: I already told you. It's outta gas.

Mort: Why isn't the time machine working?

Glory: We don't know, Mort.

Mort: I hate it here. I hate this whole (Bleep) Damn place. IT'S ALL A BUNCH A (Bleep)! IT'S ALL A BUNCH A (Bleep) DAMN SH(Bleep)!

Stewie: Ok. Just take it easy man.

Mort: NO (Bleep) YOU STEWIE! I'M A JEW IN EUROPE! (Bleep) YOU! (Bleep) ALL THREE OF YOU!

Brian: Glory and I didn't say anything.

Stewie: Oh thanks alot, Brian.

Mort: THIS IS A BUNCH A (Bleep)!

Stewie: OK YA KNOW WHAT, MORT? SHUT UP. ALRIGHT? JUST SHUT THE (Bleep) UP! I DON'T GIVE A (Bleep) ABOUT YOU. YA KNOW WE COULD JUST LEAVE YOU HERE.

Mort: YEAH RIGHT. JUST LEAVE ME HERE. THAT'S GREAT. WE'RE IN EUROPE IN THE PAST. AND IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I"M JEWISH!

Stewie: Oh yeah I've noticed. Helen Cellar would notice.

Glory: HA HAAAAA!

Mort: EAT MY ASS, GLORY!

Glory: Don't you mean your assneck?

Mort: SHUT UP. THAT'S A REAL THING.

On the way, It was getting annoying. Mort refuses to walk any further. So they take turns carrying Mort. Brian was first, then Glory, then Stewie. After stopping for a break, all three of them carried Mort. Until Mort was scared of a Rabbit. Mort then wanted an apple from a tree. They got the apple for Mort, but he spat it out. Seems they got the apple for nothing. Brian and Glory held Stewie back. They stopped to see a nazis boat.

Stewie: Well, nazis, that's refreshing.

They hid behind barrels.

Stewie: Alright, on three we make to the closest U-boat.

Glory: Why don't we do it on Go?

Stewie: Oh my God. Alright fine on go.

They snuck aboard the ship. Until a nazi spotted them.

German: Ah, unsere untersee-boot sind stielen mit eine dog und baby und ardga fonkel.

They went under deck to get away.

Stewie: Everybody hang on.

They started the ship and went under water.

Brian: We're being pursued by two objects. Looks like one's another U-boat. The other appears to be Terence Trent D'Arby.

German: Fire!

They shot at the first U-boat.

Brian: Uh-oh,

Glory: What?

Brian: Hold on to something.

Mort: Why isn't the time machine working.

Stewie: I SWEAR TO GOD MORT. I WILL STUFF YOU INTO THE TORPEDO TUBE AND CRUSH YOU INTO THE SEA!

A torpedo hit our heroes.

Stewie: Glory, I've got an idea. It's a long shot but it just might work. See that newspaper?

Glory: Yeah.

Stewie: Stuff it in the waist-tube.

They fired the newspaper at the boat chasing them. Causing the nazi's to crash. along with cop cars.

**(One of the Cars)**

Carl: Can you hand me the radio. Thanks. Hi this is Carl. What number are we?

Cop: 55.

Carl: Car 55. Um...We're in a sub. He he.

**(England)**

Stewie: Oh my god! It's England. We've reached England. We're saved.

The city seems ruined.

Stewie: Ah, London in war time. This is history right here, Guys. And look, there's Winston Churchill. Maybe we'll get an upclose look at his legendary wit.

Woman: Ah, Winston, drunk again, I see?

Winston: Yeah, well, and you are fat bitch.

Man: Wickedly funny! HAHAHAAH!

Stewie: Hm, I guess history is just wittled it down to the gyms.

**(London)**

Mort: Why isn't the time machine working?

Stewie: I'M WORKING ON IT MORT, ALRIGHT?

Stewie: Aw, here's the problem.

Mort: What? What is it?

Stewie: The transfer circuts are powered by uranium and this thing is taped out.

Glory: So you're telling us we need to find some uranium?

Stewie: I'm afraid so, sis. But where do we find uranium in WW2 Europe?

Brian: There's only one place. At the top secret atomic research facility. In Berlin.

Stewie: Wait a minute, Germany is building weapons of mass destruction? Well why doesn't America go in there and kick their asses?

Brian: I don't know. Maybe because they don't have any oil?

Stewie: Aw, clap-clap-clap-clap-clap.

Glory: Well good, Brian.

Later.

Mort: I don't know. I don't wanna do this.

Glory: Mort, Berlin is the closest place we're gonna find uranium in this time. It's the only way we're gonna get home.

Man: Men, as officers of the royal airforce, you're the very best in the world. However this mission to Germany will not be an easy one. Four and a half of every five of you will not return. Half of Jenson there, I can tell you, it gets pretty sticky.

Flier: But I've never lost me good spirit sir ever.

Man: So let's get up there, be safe and get back to the big fat pigs of wives we have waiting at home.

Stewie: Pardon me, sir. I'd like to join.

Man: What are your qualifications?

Stewie: I have british accent, I'm possibly homosexual, I've never brushed my teeth and my wife is grossly.

Man: Bombs away.

The trio and Mort flew in a plane with other pilots.

Stewie: Talk to me, Gus.

Brian: Please don't call me that.

Stewie: You're my eyes, Gus. Keep an eye out for this crowds. O-oh, germans dead ahead.

The war begins. Mort pukes in Stewie's Backpack. Lots of shooting. Mort threw up again. Then a pilot flirts with Stewie making Stewie feel awkward.

Glory: Oh no, it's another wave of fighters. We're outnumbered.

Stewie: Oh no, we're not.

Flying man: Stand by, my hohmen. DIE!

Some flying men fought against the Germans. With laser guns. Some moments later, they were shot down.

Mort: Oh my god and baby Jesus, we're going down. Quick, get the parachutes.

Glory: There are no parachutes, all I could find was this.

Stewie: A raft? We're not sinking. We're crashing!

They jumpped out and sled down a mountain. they landed in a river which led to a waterfall. The survived.

**(Berlin)**

Brian: There it is. Berlin.

Mort: So, this is Berlin, huh? Doesn't seem so bad.

Glory: My God, this place is a nightmare. Look at the offencive way they draw a jewish person.

Minutes later. Stewie searches for uranium with some device.

Stewie: It's here. The uranium lab is in here.

Brian: Hey, where'd you get that thing?

Stewie: Uh, Up your ass.

Brian: What?

Stewie: What?

Four Germans passed by.

Stewie: Hey, psst, fellas. You wanna get free caricature?

German 1: Whooo!

German 2: Yeah!

German 3: Sure!

German 4: I want to be a shcateboarder.

The four beat them up and took their clothes.

Stewie: Eh, there's something on here.

The button said "McCain Palin"

Stewie: Huh, that's weird.

Brian: All right, c'mon. Let's get inside that lab.

Stewie took a marker and wrote a mustache and hair to make himself Hitler.

Stewie: Hey guys!

Everyone: Hitler!

Man: How is it going, Mr. Hitler?

Stewie: Oh, it's a doggy-dog rike and I'm wearing a bacon pants. So, how's the atomic bomb coming?

Man: It's coming, it's coming. There's some problems, we have much better luck developing this impressive collection of 100 luftballons.

POP!

Man: Oh damn!

Stewie: Well, I guess we'll just get you back to work. Oh, I almost forgot, I can suppose you boys have some uranium I could borrow?

Man: Oh, of course. Give him some uranium, Min Joe Green.

Min Joe Green: Likee. Catch.

Stewie: Thanks, Min Joe. He's not really Min at all.

Man: Nah, he's a nice guy.

They exited the lab.

Stewie: Okay, the time machine is refuelled. Let's find a safe spot and make the trip back home.

They bumped into the real Hitler. Hitler thought it was a mirror. They were doing funny stuff. Twerking, dancing, waving arms. Until Stewie Spit on Hitler.

Hitler: Arrest him! Arrest all Four. Zis fills are making a mockery of our Reich. Execute them. - Unless-

Brian: Unless what?

Hitler: Unless they can sing a charming musical number.

Brian, Glory, &amp; Stewie: [sings]

Mort: Dammit, what are you three just get in the (Bleep)ing time machine.

They went back home.

Brian: Yes! We did it! We're finally back home.

Stewie: It's great to be home. Everything's fine.

Glory: Uh, well, not quite.

Stewie: What do you mean?

Glory: Stewie, aren't you a little nervous that Mort knows all about this stuff?

Stewie: Ah, I'm one step ahead of you, Glory. You see, we've arrived thirty seconds before Mort came up to use the bathroom. Only this time things are gonna play out a bit differently.

Stewie pushed mort into the time machine and shot the machine. Causing it to explode. Thus Killing Mort.

Past Mort: Can I poop in here?

Brian, Stewie, and Glory: NO!

Past Mort: Too Late.

Stewie: Oh! You disgusting Douche.


	5. Road to the Multiverse

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The new pics for this new adventure starts off with Brian, Stewie, and Glory at the movie as the screen says "Family Guy Presents"

A new pic with Stewie, Brian, and Glory shows them in crazy bubbles or something while the screen says "Road to the Multiverse"

The third shows Glory watching Brian as a lava lamp and Stewie as the lava.

The fourth shows them and the griffins as puzzle pieces.

The fifth shows Brian playing Pac-Man. Starring Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, and Glory as Ghosts chasing Stewie as Pac-man.

The sixth shows Glory as a cheerleader, Brian as a football player catching stewie as an actual football. He does have a football head doesn't he?

The seventh shows Stewie as that "thing" that goes "My Pressious" I don't even know how to spell the word. And if it's Lord of the Rings or something, I haven't seen it.

The eighth shows the trio as pinatas at a mexican birthday party. The kids beat them with sticks and candy comes out of Brian.

The ninth shows them as puppets in front of a red curtain.

The tenth shows Glory as a genie, Brian as a snake piper?, and Stewie as a snake coming out a basket.

The eleventh shows asian Stewies running away from Brian as a fire breathing monster destroying the city while Glory shoots him while in a helicopter.

The twelveth show Glory cracking a Stewie-shaped egg into a pan while Brian was the yolk.

And the final one shows them running away from a pinball because they were in a pinball machine.

**(Carnival)**

Man: Step right up! Step right up! You won't believe your eyes! Step right up and see the amazing half man, half clam!

Peter: What a rip-off. It's just Kim Cattrall sitting indian-style.

Chris and Lois were at a bottle game.

Lois: Boy, they've got some very unusual prizes At the carnival this year.

Chris knocked the bottles down with one throw.

Man: A winner! Congratulations, son. You've won a genuine live homosexual!

Homosexual: Ooh, where are we going?! Wait, don't tell me.

Chris: Oh, boy! Mom, can I keep him?

Lois: Well, it's a big responsibility, Chris. That means you'll have to clean up after him and feed him.

Chris: What do you eat?

Homosexual: Attention.

Chris: I like your hair.

Homosexual: Still hungry.

Chris: You have a beautiful speaking voice.

Homosexual: I'm full.

Mayor West, Glory, and Brian was at the Guess Your Weight.

Glory: Let's see, Mayor West. I guess you weigh 15 pounds.

Adam West weighed 15 pounds.

Adam: Damn it. Oh well. That's what I get for being 95% helium.

He and flew away and Glory won a Teddy bear.

Brian: Wow! How'd you know that.

Glory: He filled his body with helium some time ago. Uh, I'm still not sure that is safe.

Stewie: Brian. Glory. Look what I won!

Glory: Wow, what'd you win that for, Stewie?

Stewie: For having the best pig in the competition.

Brian: Wait, you bred a pig?

Stewie: Sure did. Most genetically-perfect one in the contest. Check him out.

Pig: Oink.

Glory: Oh, my god!

Stewie: Yes, he's something, isn't he?

Brian: Are those fists?

Stewie: Damn right. Show him, pig.

The Pig punched Brian.

Brian: How the hell did you do this?

Stewie: I'll let you two in on a little secret. I didn't do it. I got it from a farm.

Glory: What the hell kind of farm breeds pigs like this?

Stewie: Would you like to see it for yourselves?

Brian: Yeah, we would.

Stewie: Good, 'cause it's gonna blow your minds like the stereopticon did to Americans in 1910.

**(1910)**

Man: Hey, I'm in new york city! No, I'm not! Yes, I am! No, I'm not! Yes, I am! What's going on here?!

**(Griffin House)**

Stewie unlocks a safe and shows them a device.

Stewie: This is it, guys.

Glory: Um, What is that?

Stewie: It's how I got the pig. You guys ever heard of the multiverse theory?

Brian: Well, of course we have, but I'm wondering if you have.

Stewie: Oh, my god. So transparent. Well anyway, the theory states that there are an infinite number of universes Coexisting with ours on parallel dimensional planes.

Brian: Dimensional planes.

Glory: Yeah the Dimensional planes.

Stewie: Don't, don't do that. Don't, don't repeat the last two words like you already kinda knew what I was talkin' about. You guys have no idea what I'm talkin' about. Don't even try it. Anyway, in each of these alternate universes, the reality is different than our own. Sometimes only slightly, sometimes quite radically. The point is, every possible eventuality exists.

Brian: And that's where you got the pig, in a parallel universe.

Stewie: Prepare yourselves, and I'll show you.

The trio entered the multiverse. There first stop was a future looking universe.

**(Future Universe)**

Glory: Whoa. This is new.

Brian: Where are we?

Stewie: This is Quahog. Same year, same time. But in this universe, Christianity never existed, which means the dark ages Of scientific repression never occurred, and thus, Humanity is a thousand years more advanced. Ergo, muscular, genetically perfect pigs.

Brian: Hey, look, there's quagmire.

Quagmire: Thanks, honey. Say hi to your husband. (device beeping) Oh, I got aids again. Better take my "nyquil cold, flu and aids." (Takes the pills) All gone.

Stewie: What time do you suppose it is, Brian?

Brian: I don't know, about 3:30.

Stewie: Watch the sidewalk.

A song played while Meg walks looking sexy.

_"drop dead legs"_

_"pretty smile hurts my head"_

_"gets me wild dig that steam"_

Brian: My god, is that Meg?!

Stewie: 36D Brian. And you know what's amazing? In this universe, She's still one of the ugly ones. If you saw lois, You'd have to put your penis in a wheelchair. Come on guys. I'll show you around.

**(Sidewalk)**

Brian: Hey, is there a bathroom around here?

Stewie: Oh, you need to go pee or poop?

Brian: Poop.

Stewie: One poop removal.

(Electronic Twittering)

Brian: Wow, did I just go poop?

Stewie: You sure did. All digital.

Brian: Where does it go?

Stewie: It gets beamed to another dimension.

Glory: Stewie, let me ask you this: What about all the renaissance art that christianity inspired?

Stewie: That was my first question, too. Come on, have a look at the sistine chapel.

They got into a lightspeed railway train and got to their next destination faster.

Brian: Wow.

Glory: Whoa

Stewie: Yeah, with no christianity to inspire michelangelo, they gave the job to john hinckley.

**(Outside)**

Stewie: Alright, you two ready to go back home now?

Brian: Are you kidding? This is amazing.

Glory: And Awesome! Can we see more universes? Pleeease?

Stewie: Hmm. Well, I haven't tried yet, But I don't see why not.

**(Flintstones Universe)**

Glory: Whoa, what's this place?

Brian: Yeah, this universe looks weird.

Stewie: Yeah, it's cheap and somehow lazy.

Rockpeter: Yabba-dabba (giggles)

They went to the window.

Rocklois: Rockpeter? (audience laughter)

Rockpeter: Yes, Rocklois?

Rocklois: That was wonderful rock sex we had last rock night. (laughter)

Rockpeter: Yes, I enjoyed rocking you up the rock last night. (laughter)

Rocklois: I know I'm glad you wore that rock ring. (laughter)

Rockpeter: But we still always use a rockphylactic.

Frog: I'm ribbited for your pleasure.

Pun Music.

Stewie: Hey guys, wanna get the rock out of here?

Glory &amp; Brian: Rock yeah.

**(Japanese Universe)**

Brian: Huh. This looks like spooner street, only something's not quite right.

Glory: Know anything about this Universe, Stewie.

Stewie: According to the multiverse guide, this is a universe where the United States never dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, so the Japanese just never quit.

They went to the window. The Japanese Griffins speak japanese fast.

Japanese Glory: Father! This is my boyfriend Akihiko and hope to marry him.

Japanese Peter: You have my blessing. You now Married. Welcome to Family.

Akihiko: Thank You Father-In-Law. We go on Honeymoon now. (Exit)

Japanese Glory: We go on Honeymoon Now (Exit)

Japanese Peter: Meg, you ugly and dishonorable.

Japanese Meg: I make obedience to father wish. (Stabs herself &amp; Dies)

Japanese Peter: I fart now. (farts)

Japanese Chris: Now I laugh because he fart. Ha ha ha ha! Now I done with laugh.

Japanese Quagmire: (Enters) Hello, I like many sex. Goodbye. (Exit)

Japanese Stewie: I no like you, but I like you!

Japanese Brian: I no like you, but I like you, too!

Japanese Lois: (Enters with Sushi) I honor your penis by bringing it food.

Japanese Peter: My penis hungry two hour ago! (Punches Lois)

Japanese Lois Laughs and leaves.

Glory: I have a boyfriend? He's cute. I wonder where he is in our Universe.

Brian: Ok. Enough. I've seen enough. Let's get back to our universe.

Stewie: All right, off we go.

**(Two Heads Universe)**

Stewie: Ah, home, sweet home.

They entered the house.

Happy Lois: Peter?

Sad Lois: Peter?

Happy Peter: What?

Sad Peter: What?

Glory: Huh? What the hell's going on?

Stewie: I don't know. Let me check the multiverse guide.

Happy Lois: Can you take out the trash?

Sad Lois: 'cause it stinks in the kitchen.

Happy Peter: Sure thing, Lois, delighted to.

Sad Peter: I get tired when I stand.

The trio gasped.

Brian: What the hell is this? This isn't our universe.

Glory: You're right, Brian. Stewie?

Stewie: Apparently, this is a universe Where everyone has two heads: One happy, one sad.

Happy Lois: Honey, have you seen Stewie?

Sad Lois: I can't find him anywhere.

Happy Peter: I sure have!

Sad Peter: He's over there, playing in the corner.

Two headed Stewie was making out with himself.

Glory: Ok. Ew. That's just gross.

Happy Stewie: I want you to know I love you.

Sad Stewie: I'm trying to get excited about it.

Brian: Oh, this is too freaky.

Glory: Yeah! Why didn't that thing take us home?

Stewie: I don't know. I told you, It hasn't been fully tested yet.

Brian: Well, we can't stay here, that's for sure.

Happy Man: And now back to channel 5 news at 6:00.

Sad Man: Quahog's lowest-rated newscast.

Happy Tom: The president's dog just had puppies!

Sad Tom: There was a plane crash.

Brian: Stewie, please tell us you know how to get us home.

Stewie: Of course I know how to get us home.

**(Ice Age Universe)**

Brian: What the hell?

Glory: Hey, I can't move.

Stewie: Me either.

Glory: Stewie, what's going on?

Stewie: Well, from the look of it, I'm guessing this is Quahog, but during some sort of ice age.

Brian: Well, press the button. Get us outta here.

Stewie: (Reaches) Uh-oh, I can't reach the device.

Brian: What? You're kidding.

Stewie: Yeah, get comfortable. I think we're gonna be here for a while. Oh, look, there's your poop from the other universe.

Brian: Stewie, you gotta get us out of here! If we stay in here much longer, We're either gonna freeze or starve!

Stewie: I know, but I can't reach the device. You try. You're closer to it. And besides, you're stronger than I am.

Brian wags his tail.

Glory: What was that sound?

Brian: Oh, well, Stewie said I was stronger than him, and that must have made me happy. So my tail started wagging.

Stewie: Looks like it carved through the ice a bit.

Brian: Yeah, it did. Keep going.

Stewie: Okay, uh, let's see, um You want to go for a walk?

Brian: It's working! Do more!

Glory: Uh, you want a treat?! You want a treat, boy?!

Brian: That's good, that's good, but you You really have one, right?!

Glory: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Brian: And we're going for that walk?!

Stewie: Oh, yeah, definitely. And, um, I'll, I'll give you a bath!

Brian: No, no, no!

Stewie: Oh, sorry, sorry. And, and I'll, I'll let you go for a ride in the car!

Brian: Oh, you better not be lying!

Glory: You want to sleep in the bed with us?!

Brian: Yes! Oh, I never get to! It must be a special occasion!

Stewie: You got it! You're through!

Brian: Yes! Alright, what do I do?

Stewie: Just press the red button!

Brian: Okay. Uh, which one's red?

Stewie: Press the big button!

**(Poop Right Now Universe)**

Brian: This can't be it. This doesn't look familiar.

Stewie: You're right, Brian. Apparently, this is a universe where everyone has to take a poop right just now.

Businessmen wanted to go number 2.

Man: Okay, uh, Bill, you got those numbers?

Bill: Yeah, yeah.

Man: Okay, just leave them on my desk.

Bill: Okay, that works out fine for me. Where's your desk?

Man: Doug knows where my desk is. Craig, are you good with this?

Craig: Yeah, that should WORK out pretty good for me, too.

**(Disney Universe)**

Brian: What the hell? What's happened to us?

Stewie: I don't know, but suddenly I feel all sweet and warm and fuzzy.

Glory: Me too.

Stewie: It seems we're in a universe Where everything is drawn by disney.

Brian: Look, there's our house.

Stewie: (Laughing) Look how gaily we run!

Lois: Oh, Stewie Glory and Brian, you're just in time for pie.

Peter: Did somebody say "pie"?

Bright Orchestral Intro Plays.

Peter: "It's a wonderful day for piiiie" "you can ask all the birds in the skyyyy" "and they'll tell you real sweet" "with a musical tweet"

Quagmire/Bird: "It's a wonderful day for piiiie"

Chris &amp; Meg/Octopus: "for piiiie"

Quagmire/Bird: "for piiiie"

Lois: "for piiiie"

Joe: "for piiiie!"

Stewie: This is wonderful, Brian. Oh, let's live in this universe.

Glory: I agree. I love it here.

Brian: Gosh, it's pretty intoxicating, isn't it?

Stewie: I want to hear more music about pie.

Peter: "it's a wonderful day for piiiie"

Cleveland/Skunk: "and it smells a lot better than I"

(giggles)

Adam West/Mouse: "everyone in the house"

Peter: "and this Adam West mouse"

Bees: "the bees making honey"

Tom/Bunny: "this tom tucker bunny"

All: "we all sing with glee" "cause we all agree" "it's a wonderful, wonderful daaaay for PIIIIIIIE!

Music stops.

Herbert/Witch: You want a nice, shiny red apple to put in that pie?

All: NO!

They threw pies at herbert. And Peter closes the door.

Glory: Guys, we definitely gotta spend the rest of our lives here. It's perfect.

Brian: Sounds good to me. Doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with this place.

Mort: (Enters) Hello, everybody.

All: Jew!

They dragged Mort and beat him till he's dead.

Stewie: Oh, yeah, I forgot. This is a disney universe. Oh, but look at how shiny my buttons are here.

Brian: Just push the...

Stewie: Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. I'll push the thing.

Glory: Well so much for living here.

Bright melody plays and Mort is dead.

**(Robot Chicken Universe)**

Brian: Whoa, this is trippy.

Stewie: I should say so.

Glory: Why are we toys?

Stewie: We're in the robot chicken universe.

Peter: Will you guys move? You're blocking the tv.

Chris: Look! G.I. Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-man! Yay! Those shows existed!

Stewie: How's it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds?

Chris: (Bleep) you!

Stewie: Bye.

**(WW3 Universe)**

Glory: Oh my goodness. The city looks terrible.

Brian: Yeah! Looks like Quahog was vaporized or something.

Glory: What happened?

Stewie: It says that in this universe, Frank Sinatra was never born, and therefore, he was unable to use his influence to get Kennedy elected. So, Nixon won the 1960 election, and totally botched the Cuban missile crisis, causing World War III.

Brian: Wow, so I guess Lee Harvey Oswald never shot Kennedy?

Stewie: No, instead, he shot Mayor McCheese.

(Shots firing)

(Crowd screaming)

Glory: That joke's not in bad taste, right?

Stewie: Oh, who cares? He's a freakin' cheeseburger.

**(Blocky Universe)**

Brian: Ew. Where are we?

Stewie: I don't know. The device can't make heads or tails of it. It's just some sort of weird, low resolution blocky universe.

Peter: Lois, where is my supper?

Lois: Still in the oven.

Peter: Will I have it soon?

Lois: Quite soon.

Peter: Thank you!

Lois: You're welcome!

Peter: Nyah!

Lois: Nyah!

Peter: Nyah!

Lois: Nyah!

Chris: Nyah!

Meg: Nyah!

Stewie: Nyah!

Glory: Nyah!

Brian: Nyah!

Stewie: I'm frightened.

Glory: Let's go.

**(Fire Hydrant Universe)**

Brian: Love it.

Glory &amp; Stewie: Hate it.

**(Famous Glory Universe)**

Glory: Love it.

Brian &amp; Stewie: Hate it.

**(Gay Universe)**

Stewie: Love it.

Brian &amp; Glory: Hate it.

**(Real Life Universe)**

Stewie: Uh, guys? This feels weird.

Glory: I don't know. I feel good.

Brian: Hit the button.

**(Political Cartoon Universe)**

Brian: Oh, God, what is this? I feel like I'm on acid or something.

Stewie: According to the multiverse guide, this is a universe Where everything is depicted as a Washington Post political cartoon. Good lord, I'm naked. And why am I holding a dinner platter that says mcCain/feingold?

Glory: (Laughing) Oh my God.

Brian: (Laughing) That's-that's pretty good. That's-that's funny.

Stewie: Cut the crap you two. You don't get it.

Brian: No, no, We-We totally get it.

Stewie: Oh, god. Let's go, quick. Here comes an overweight cat with dollar signs for eyes and a hat that says "social security," Pouring a bucket that says "alternative minimum tax" Over a sad statue of liberty holding a democracy umbrella.

Brian: (Laughing): Yes! Oh, that ought to wake people up.

Glory: OOOOhhh Yeah!

Stewie: Shut the (Bleep) up.

**(One guy Universe)**

Glory: Oh, my god. Now we're nowhere.

Stewie: Not quite, Glory. This is a universe, but its only inhabitant is one really far away guy who yells compliments.

Guy: I like your shirt!

Stewie: Thank you! This was nice.

**(Misleading Portraiture Universe)**

Brian: We did it. We're back.

Glory: We are?

Stewie: No. This is the universe of misleading portraiture.

Brian: Aw.

Glory: It's not a total lost, there's my fans from my Famous Glory Universe. (Groans) AW DAMN IT!

Stewie: Oh, wait. It's not so bad. There's the compliment guy. Hello! (Groans) they got all three of us!

**(Dog Universe)**

Brian: We're finished. We're never going to get home.

Glory: Aw! We're never going to see Mom, Dad, or anyone else we know ever again.

Stewie: Ya'll got your pal, Stewie.

Brian: (Sarcastic) Great.

Stewie: Aw, you could learn something from compliment guy. And you know, it's not as bad as you guys think. I may have finally figured this out. I just need to make a few more calculations.

Glory: Hurry!

Brian looked around and saw Dogs as owners and Humans as pets.

A Human named Molly sniffed Brian's Butt.

Brian: Whoa.

Dog: Sorry about that. Bad girl, holly. No jumpies.

Brian: Oh, it's quite all right.

She started licking Brian.

Brian: Um, wow. Okay, this is ridiculous.

Stewie: You go here. You, you naughty little wire, You're supposed to be over here. How did you get over there?

Brian liked being licked all over.

Brian: Oh, yeah.

Dog: Come on, Holly, let's go. This guy's a freak.

Stewie: And that should do it. Now, let's go home.

Glory: Finally.

Brian took the device.

Stewie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?

Brian: I just don't think we should be too hasty. I mean, we have a unique opportunity to study alternate universes in depth.

Stewie: Brian, give me the damn device. Give it.

They were fighting.

(groaning)

Brian: No, knock it off.

Stewie: Give it.

Brian: No, stop it. Stop it.

Stewie: Come on, give it.

Brian: No.

Stewie: Come on. Come on.

(clattering, crashing)

Glory: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stewie: WHAT THE HELL, MAN? WHAT THE HELL? LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Dog Cop: You better put them on leashes, sir, or I'm going to have to fine you.

Glory &amp; Stewie: Take your stinkin' paws off us, YOU DAMN DIRTY DOG.

Brian has them on Leashes.

Glory: I can't believe you betrayed us like this, Brian.

Stewie: And why'd the hell did you break the damn device?

Brian: Look, it was an accident, alright? And besides, look at this place. It's a world run by dogs. I mean, I kind of want to explore this universe.

Stewie: Oh, you like role reversal? Huh? Okay.

Brian: Wait, what are you doing? Oh! Oh! Come on!

Stewie: Pick up my poop! PICK UP MY POOP!

Brian: I'M NOT PICKING UP YOUR POOP!

Dog Cop: Hey, you. Pick up that poop.

Glory: You heard him, Brian. Pick up Stewie's poop.

Stewie: Go on, pick it up. Do it- pick up my poop!

Brian: I need a plastic bag.

Glory: Here's a thin napkin.

**(Griffin's Dog House)**

Brian: Okay, I'm a new neighbor and you're my pet humans hotchkiss &amp; Brianna. Got it?

Stewie: I-I-I don't I'm not so crazy about "hotchkiss" anymore.

Brian: What do you mean? You came up with hotchkiss.

Stewie: I know, but how about axel or-or-or maximilian or dex, you know? It's-it's got to have an "x" in it because 'cause that means I have cool parents who take me on expensive ski trips on spring break and I get to drink wine with dinner, Even though I'm only 14, and stuff.

Glory: And I don't like te name Brianna. How bout Stacey?

Brian: Fine. (Rings Doorbell)

Dog Peter: (Excited) Oh, my god! I know that sound! That means there's a potential intruder at the front door Or one of my pals. Either way, I'm really excited and ready for anything! Hello?

Stewie: (Chuckles)

Brian: Hello, my name is Blake Carrington.

Stewie: Aw.

Brian: And these are my humans, Gabe and Brianna.

Stewie: Oh, no. What?

Glory: This is messed up.

Brian: We just moved in down the street and thought we'd stop in and say hi to our new neighbors.

Dog Peter: Well, great to meet you. Come on in. I'm Peter.

**(Kitchen)**

Dog Peter: This is my family. My wife Lois. My son, Chris- Chris, stop licking yourself and come up and say hi! My daughter Meg. Our puppy Stewie. Our adopted chihuahua Glory. And this is our human Brian.

Human Brian: Nice to meet you.

Stewie: "say hi to human Brian, blake," Says gabe.

Brian: Hi.

Puppy Stewie: Mommy, I want to play with the new humans.

Chihuahua Glory: I want to play with them too, Mom.

Dog Lois: Only if it's okay with blake.

Brian: Uh, yeah, sure, it's fine. Gabe and Brianna are great with dogs.

Glory: I swear to God, Brian. I hope the next universe we go to is a world with no dogs.

**(Living Room)**

Puppy Stewie: We know who you guys are.

Stewie: I beg your pardon?

Chihuahua Glory: We've travelled through different dimensions, as well.

Puppy Stewie: In fact, I've figured out How to navigate with absolute precision.

Stewie: Really? I've haven't.

Glory: Yeah! We've been jumping randomly from one universe to the next.

Chihuahua Glory: Did your Stewie had the "shuffle" button on?

Stewie: Oh, my god.

Puppy Stewie: There you go.

Stewie: That's why that little symbol with the two crossed arrows is up there in the corner. Oh, my god. I feel silly. But I can't do anything about it. My device has been destroyed.

Puppy Stewie: Well, I've got one of my own. I can use it to send you back. Hold on, I'll get it.

(Doorbell Rings)

Dog Peter: Oh, my god! Who is it? I got it!

Dog Joe: Morning, Peter.

Dog Peter: Hey, Joe.

Dog Joe: Bonnie and I are having company tonight, Wondering if I could borrow some wet food.

Dog Peter: Yeah, sure thing. (To Stewie) That's Joe. He's our local human catcher. So don't misbehave or the human catcher'll come after you "Gaaaabe."

Stewie: MY NAME'S NOT GABE! (growls)

Dog Peter: Ow! (screams) Oh, you're in big trouble, you little crap!

Dog Joe: Boy, you shouldn't have done that, little fella. You just earned yourself a trip to the pound!

(muffled screams)

(screams)

Stewie: Who the hell do you think you are?! Brian! Brian! Do something!

Brian: Look, I'm sorry about this. Let me just pay the fine or whatever and I'll make sure this doesn't happen again.

Dog Joe: You can pick him up tomorrow.

Brian: Oh. Okay.

Dog Joe: Just bring a trash bag.

(wheels squeaking)

Glory: A trash bag?

Brian: What did he mean by that?

Human Brian: Any human that bites a dog gets euthanized. You know that.

Puppy Stewie: No, they doesn't! They're from another universe where dogs are subservient to humans.

Human Brian: Oh, you mean like that time we

Puppy Stewie: Yeah.

Human Brian: When we bounced around between univ

Puppy Stewie: Yeah.

Human Brian: And you couldn't figure out how to

Puppy Stewie: YES!

Glory: Oh, they're going to kill him! We got to get him out of there!

Chihuahua Glory: It's a tough world here. You hear about it every night on the dog news.

Dog Tom: Coming up, that bush in the park is my bush! My bush!

**(Human Pound)**

They snuck pass the front desk.

Puppy Stewie: Look, there he is!

Stewie: Oh, thank god. I'm saved.

Puppy Stewie destroyed the bars.

Brian: Come on, let's get out of here.

Puppy Stewie: Alright, the two of you, stand over there and I'll send you back where you belong.

Glory: Uh, Glory, before I go, do you have a boyfriend here?

Chihuahua Glory: Yeah. A cute guy named Akihiko.

Glory: Oh man. When does my time come?

Seconds later.

Stewie: Gosh, Brian, I sure hope this next leap Will be the leap home.

Human Brian: Wait! Take me with you.

Glory: Huh?

Stewie: What do you mean? You can't come back to our universe.

Human Brian: Come on, a place where humans are in charge? I can't pass that up.

Dog joe: Hey! Get away from there!

The trio entered the portal. Joe held Brian down. Brian hit Joe with his big nose and jumped into the portal.

**(Normal Universe)**

Glory: Well, this looks like home.

Brian: Is there any way we can be sure?

Stewie: Hmm.

The checked the hallway.

Meg: Mom, have you seen my trapper keeper?

Peter: (Farting in Meg's face) (Laughing)

Stewie Brian and Glory: Yeah, we're home! (laughing)

Glory: Well, now, what do we do about this guy?

Stewie: Yeah! We got two Brians in our universe now.

Human Brian: Don't worry, I don't plan to stay in Quahog. I'm gonna go out into the world and see what I can make of myself. I can be somebody here.

Stewie: And it should be easy for you, because I mean- what luck- you're white. You have no idea how big that is here.

**(Outside)**

Human Brian: Good-bye, Stewie. Good-bye, Brian. Good-bye, Glory. Maybe our paths will cross again someday. (Exits)

Stewie: Ah, look at him go. Free in a world of his own kind, Where he can finally reach the full potential

(Car Crash)

Stewie: OH, MY GOD! He got hit by a car!

Akihiko: (Enters) Hello, I'm Akihiko.

Glory has hearts in her eyes.

Akihiko: Is Meg Griffin here? We have a date.

Glory: (Rushes in) Uh, No. She said it's over. But I'm free.

Akihiko: Oh. Ok. Say you wanna go see a movie with me?

Glory: Why sure.

They both went to a movie.

Stewie: That girl works fast.

Brian: Yeah she does.

Stewie: Hey, what were we talking about a second ago?

Brian: I dunno.

They went back in the house. Human Brian was still on the street feeling hurt. His legs twitched. He'll be alright.


	6. Road to the North Pole

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows the trio riding on a sleigh with the screen that says "Road to The North Pole"

The third shows Stewie sitting in a chair scared of Brian &amp; Glory as ghosts.

The fourth shows them making snow people. Glory made a snow Akihiko. Brian made a snowgirl. And Stewie made Rupert as a muscular man.

The fifth shows Stewie on a sleigh whipping Brian, as a reindeer, to chase Glory; who was running away.

The sixth shows the trio as ornaments on a christmas tree.

The seventh shows them in the snowy woods at night by a campfire roasting marshmallows.

The eighth shows Stewie sliding down a hill on Brian. And Glory sliding down on her boyfriend Akihiko.

The ninth shows them Glory and Brian as burglars out the window as Stewie screams. This is just like Home Alone.

The tenth shows them having a snowball fight. Stewie was about to launch a huge snowball on his catapult.

The eleventh shows Brian being shocked by christmas lights as Stewie turned them on.

The twelveth shows the three as christmas cookies. But someone bit off Stewie's left eye.

The thirteenth shows them putting coal in Meg's stocking.

And the final one shows Brian, Akihiko, and Glory making snow angels. Stewie made a snow devil.

Ron: Hi. I'm Ron MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's father. And I'm here to tell you the story of a very special Christmas in Quahog. Kenny Rogers was supposed to be here, but I think he's dead. Anyway, Seth came out of my penis, and now he made this.

**(Quahog)**

Ron: Our story begins in Quahog just before Christmastime. The town was blanketed with snow, the trees were being trimmed, and everyone was making up their Christmas lists.

The citizens of Quahog began to sing.

Peter: _"Jessica Biel and Megan Fox" "wearing nothing but their socks" "is all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear!"_

Brian: Well, that's just not practical.

Lois: _"Spending a week in Mexico" "with some black guys and some blow" "is all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear!"_

Peter: Oh, that sounds terrific. How about you, kids?

Chris: _"I would like a pair of skates." "Then I'd go out skating." "But I really don't know how to skaaate!"_ Ha-ha!

Meg: _"I want a Lexus all in pink, and a dad who doesn't drink."_

Peter: _"Oh, and that reminds me Twelve kegs of beeeeeer!"_

Griffins: _"All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all I really want this yeeear!"_

Brian: Santa's got his work cut out for him.

Peter: Oh, we ain't even gotten started yet.

Lois: _"I want to tour the Spanish coast."_

Peter: _"Lunch with Michael Landon's ghost."_

Peter and Lois: _"That's all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear!"_

Lois: Wait. What?

Peter: Forget it. Keep going.

Chris: _"Jennifer Garner in my bed."_

Meg: _"Softer voices in my head."_

Chris and Meg: _"That's all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear!"_

Glory: _"You and I, we're not foes."_

Akihiko: _"We're under the mistletoe."_

Glory and Akihiko: _"That's all we really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear!"_ (Kiss)

Stewie: _"Yellow cake uranium." "Never mind the reason." "Also Chutes and Ladders and a baaaall!"_ (laughing)

Brian: _"Doesn't this seem like too much stuff?"_

Peter: _"Poo on you, it's not enough!"_

Stewie: _"Buddy boy, I got your Christmas right heeeeeere!"_

His nuts.

Griffins: _"All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all I really want this yeeear!"_

Brian: I'm just saying, it seems a bit excessive.

Lois: Oh, get off your soap box, Brian. It's Christmas.

Peter: And Christmas is about gettin'! Everyone in town knows that!

Quagmire: _"Japanese girls with no restraint" "just to choke me till I faint" "is all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear!"_ Ooh, giggity!

Bonnie: _"Platinum-plated silverware."_

Joe: _"Just one day when kids don't stare."_

Bonnie and Joe: _"That's all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeear!"_

Mort: _"If you put a Christmas tree in the public airport, I will go to court and sue your ass!"_ Happy holidays!

Mayor West: _"Wouldn't I love a tinker toy."_

Herbert: _"And a little drummer boy. He can either tap his drum or my reeeeeear."_

Mort, Mayor West, Herbert: _"All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all I really want this year!"_

Tom: _"I want a golden mustache comb."_

Angela: _"And some spermicidal foam."_

Tom and Angela:_ "That's all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear."_

Carter:_ "I want a brand-new pitching wedge."_

Consuela: _"I would like more Lemon Pledge."_

Carter and Consuela:_ "That's all I really want for Christmas this yeeeeeear."_

Bruce: _"I just want a wedding ring from someone named Jeffreeeey."_

Jillian: _"I just want some colored Easter eeeeggs."_

Carl: _"I want a Blu-Ray of The Wiz."_

Hanson: _"We don't know what Christmas is!" "We have something else called Gishgemfloofneeeeeer!"_

Everyone: _"All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all I really want... this... yeeeeear!"_

**(Quahog Mall)**

Stewie: I am so excited to see Santa Claus. You know what I think is really wonderful? Of all the malls in this great country of ours, he chooses to come here. Year after year. You know, I mean, who Who are we? You know? I'll tell you who we are. The lucky ones.

Brian: Uh-oh.

Glory: What?

Brian: Look.

They saw a long line.

Stewie: Oh, my God, look at the line.

Brian: Damn it, we're gonna be here forever.

Stewie: Hey, wait, look! There's Quagmire, way up front. We can cut in line with him.

Glory: Good idea, Stewie.

Brian: Uh, wait, guys. He doesn't like me so mu (sighs)

They cut in line behind Quagmire.

Brian: Glenn? Glenn Quagmire? Wha Wow. What What are you doing here?

Quagmire: Oh, hi, Brian. Just waiting for Santa, like everyone else.

Brian: Wow, cool. Cool. Oh, man, we'll just hang with you guys here. Who's this little guy? Huh? Is this your nephew? Hey, buddy, you here to see Santa? Yeah. I hope you've been a good boy this year.

Quagmire: That little guy is my niece Abby, you douche. Her hair's short because of the chemotherapy.

Stewie: Uh-oh.

Glory: Here we go.

Quagmire: Do you know how much talking it took to get her out of the house because of her no-hair?

Brian: Oh, gosh, I I didn't know. I'm so I'm so sorry.

Quagmire: Oh, you're sorry? For For what? That waiting in line is such a catastrophe for you that you'd rather destroy the confidence of a five-year-old cancer patient?

Brian: Oh, come on. I I didn't know she was dying.

Quagmire: Who said anything about dying?!

Glory: Whoops!

Abby: Uncle Glenn, am I dying?

Quagmire: No, sweetheart, you're not dying. 'Cause we're gonna see Santa, and he's gonna bring you a new brain. Get out of here, Brian. Just get out of here.

The trio went to the back of the line.

Stewie: Should have gone into politics, Bri.

Glory: Way to go, Brian! You just couldn't stop talking. Now we have to go to the back of the line.

Stewie: And what the hell! Why isn't the line moving?

Brian: I don't know. It's always the same thing. Some fat kid sitting on Santa's lap taking all day.

It was Peter.

Peter: Yeah, yeah. And I want a Charles in Charge lunch box and I want a Magna Doodle and a new Uno game on a 'cause of I lost the "Draw 2" card. And I want a pet animal that's half chinchilla and half mink, 'cause it'd be really soft, and I could call it chink, and that's okay.

The line was getting shorter and shorter.

Brian: Geez, doesn't the mall close soon? We've been here forever.

Stewie: Would you relax? We're right here. I'm next.

A mom took a pic of her child with Santa and left.

Stewie: Hello, Santa. Now, um, we've got a slight problem here, because I have been rather naughty. But you're a business man, I'm a business man. I'm sure we can work something out.

He was planning to bribe Santa with one dollar. Santa then put up a close sign.

Stewie: Wait. What are you doing? Santa? You can't leave now!

Brian: Hey, wait Wait, buddy, buddy, we've been in line for, like, two hours.

Mall Santa: Sorry. I'm done. You want your kid to sit on my lap, meet me at the bar at Applebee's. (Exit)

Glory: Well that was a waste of our time.

Brian: Yeah I know. Sorry, Stewie.

Stewie: That son of a bitch. He just turned his back on me. The way reality turned its back on Gary Busey.

**(Flashback)**

Gary: How am I doing today, Gary Busey?

Reflection: You're doing great!

Gary: Good! Then I'll keep it up!

**(Griffin House)**

Chris, Meg, Glory, and Brian were making a Christmas Tree.

Stewie: Hey, give me your keys. I need your car.

Brian: What? You're not taking my car.

Stewie: Very well, then. You're driving me. Let's go.

Stewie dragged Brian to the door.

Glory: Where are you going with Brian, Stewie?

Stewie: To the North Pole to see Santa Claus.

Glory: The North Pole?

Stewie: That's right. If that beslubbering, onion-eyed maggot-pie thinks he can just blow me off like that, he's got another thing coming.

Brian: Look, Stewie, I know you're disappointed that you didn't get to see Santa, but I'm not driving you to the North Pole.

Lois hung up the phone.

Lois: Everyone, Quagmire's niece is in the ICU. Now, I think we should go down there to support him.

Brian: Wh What?

Glory: Uh oh!

Lois: Yeah, apparently, something happened at the mall, and she took a turn for the worse. They don't know how much time she has left. Quagmire just called. He's really upset. It doesn't sound like he wants us there for some reason, but we should go anyway.

Brian: All right, let's go to the North Pole.

Glory: I'm in.

Ron: And so Glory, Brian, and Stewie set off on the road to the North Pole. Hey, you want to hear a real live-action fart instead of one of those fake cartoony ones? (Breaking wind) We're gonna need another pair of pants and another chair.

**(Burrillville, Rhode Island)**

Brian drives Glory and Stewie to the North Pole. And Stewie fell asleep the whole trip.

Glory: Brian, we're not going to the actual North Pole right?

Brian: No.

Glory: Then where are we going?

Brian: To a place that seems like the North Pole.

Glory: Oooohh!

Brian: Yeah! Just don't say anything to Stewie when he wakes up, alright?

Glory: Got it. I'll keep a secret better than dad when he spoiled Meg's surprise.

**(Flashback)**

Lois: Remember Peter. Just keep it a secret. Ok?

Peter: Yeah got it.

Meg entered the kitchen.

Meg: Hey Mom. Hey Dad. What are you guys talking about?

Lois: Uh...nothing!

Meg: Oh. Ok.

She went to the fridge.

Peter: Your surprise party's in the backyard.

Lois dropped the dishes in her hand.

**(Reality)**

He parked the car.

Brian: Hey, Stewie, wake up. We're here. We're at the North Pole.

Stewie: Oh, uh. What? What? What? Uh, North Pole?

Brian parked in front of a place that says Santa's Village.

Stewie: (Excited) North Pole! North Pole! There it is! My word, I really must have been asleep!

Glory: You sure were. Let's go.

They walked up to a sign that says North Pole.

Stewie: Ah, look at this. The tip of the Earth. Okay, let's go see Santa Claus.

Brian: Alright, let's go.

They continued on.

Stewie: Well, this is rather festive, isn't it?

Stewie noticed a boy riding on a ride.

Stewie: Small.

Glory: Yeah quite.

He then noticed a cold goat.

Brian: Well, it has to be small because of all the tiny elves.

Stewie: Ah, that's right. Good. Good point. Elves.

Black Elf: Yo, yo, what's up, y'alls? Y'alls ready to kick it in some fine North Pole gear?

Stewie: Brian, Glory, why does the North Pole have black teenagers?

Glory: Uh 'cause From, uh, Katrina?

Stewie: Ah, of course. All right. Well, uh, I just have one more question, then.

Glory: What's that?

Stewie points gun to the two.

Stewie: (Yell) Do you think I'm an idiot?! Huh? Do you?

Glory: Stewie, just calm down.

Brian: Look, Stewie, the North Pole is a long and dangerous...

He pushed the two down.

Stewie: (Yell) You can't jerk me around when it comes to Santa Claus, guys! There is a Ferris wheel here, and a guy hosing vomit! Nobody vomits at the North Pole! Except for Santa's wife because she has an eating disorder!

Brian: What?

Stewie: (Yell) Yeah, 'cause he can have anyone he wants, and she knows that!

Glory: How'd you know this wasn't the North Pole?

Stewie: (Yell) I heard everything while I was sleeping in the car. You thought I didn't hear the flashback either?

Glory: Oh right.

Brian: Stewie, just pull yourself together.

Stewie: I won't, Brian! Now get your asses back into that hippie car and take me to the North Pole now!

Brian: Look, I know you're upset, but why Why don't you just sit down, write out your Christmas list, and I promise I will mail it to Santa Claus?

Stewie: Screw that. This was never about Christmas presents.

Glory: Stewie, if it wasn't about the presents, why do you want to go all the way to the North Pole?

Stewie: Because Glory, I'm going to kill Santa Claus!

Ron: So it turned out Stewie was determined to kill Santa Claus. Would he succeed? Well, let's find out.

Brian: Wait a minute, why the hell do you want to kill Santa?

Stewie: Because that fat bastard blew me off at the mall, and he shall not go unpunished. Now, let's go. I've got it all planned out. I'm gonna see the workshop, pet a few reindeer, take a few pictures of me and Santa, and then I'm gonna blow his brains out, hopefully with his bitch wife watching.

Brian: This is ridiculous. We are not going to the North Pole. Trust me, it's a waste of time. You're not gonna find Santa.

Stewie: Why not?

Glory: Because there's no such...

They saw Stewie looking surprised.

Glory: Uh?

Brian: Uh... Because when you get there, you may find out it isn't what you thought it was.

Glory: Yeah and we wouldn't want you to be disappointed.

Stewie: That's it? That's your reason? Well, you know, you know why nothing works out for the two of you? Because you've got negative attitudes. Like Eeyore.

**(Flashback)**

Pooh: Come on, Eeyore, let's go play.

Eeyore: I don't feel like it.

Pooh: Why are you always in such a bad mood?

Eeyore: I have a nail in my anus.

Pooh: Oh.

**(Reality)**

Brian: That's not fair. We don't have negative attitudes. I just I I don't think it's a good idea for us to embark on a potentially dangerous journey whe

Glory: Where'd he go?

They found him riding in a truck.

Stewie: Say yes to life, Dog and Girl! I'll be home for Christmas.

Brian: Son of a bitch!

Glory: Let get him.

They hopped in Brian's car and went after Stewie.

Stewie: So, what are we hauling, good buddy?

Driver: Oh, I got a flock of birds that were too tired to fly back north.

Bird 1: Boy, this is the way to do it, huh, Jerry?

Bird 2: Sure is. Think this makes us lazy?

Bird 1 Nah, we're still in the V-shape.

Literally.

The two vehicles passed a sign that says 'Welcome to Massachusetts'. Then New Hampshire. Then Maine. Then Canada.

Stewie: What is this? This is a weird gun.

Driver: Yeah. Don't touch that.

Stewie: Oh, it's a flare gun.

Driver: Maybe you should put that back.

Stewie: I'm just holding it. Is this the trigger?

He pulled the trigger and the flare went to the back of the truck, which caught on fire. They screamed, crashed into cars, the birds flew away and were on fire. Stewie flew out the windshield and the truck fell off a cliff and exploded. One of its tires broke Brian's windshield and Brian's car slipper on oil and parked into snow. Brian got hit with the airbag and his door broke off. They saw Stewie wiping himself off.

Brian: Oh, my God, Stewie, you all right? What the hell happened?

Stewie: Eh, just some stupid stuff went down.

Brian: You could have been killed! We could have been killed! Look at my car!

Glory: Do you have any idea what you put us through?

Stewie: Well, you know, if you had just taken me to the real North Pole to see Santa, none of this would have happened!

Stewie puts his thumb up by the road.

Glory: Stewie, what the hell are you doing now?

Stewie: Hitching a ride. I'm gonna keep heading north until I find Santa.

Brian: Stewie, you're not gonna find him.

Stewie: You guys do what you want, but I am going to the North Pole and I'm gonna kill that bastard!

Brian: Stewie, you're putting me in a hell of a position here, but I have no choice.

Glory: Yeah Brian. Tell him the truth.

Stewie: What? Truth? What truth?

Brian: You're not gonna kill Santa Claus, because he doesn't exist.

Stewie: (Chuckle) R R Really, Brian? He doesn't exist?

Glory: It's true. He's not real.

Stewie: Oh, interesting. Interesting theory. Um, who else isn't real, hmm? You gonna tell me that Elmo isn't real? Huh? SpongeBob? Is he not real? Is Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean giving Squidward the business? Hmm? And what about Curious George? Huh? Does he not really exist? Hmm? Is Curious George not really out there making little boats out of newspapers that he should be delivering? Huh? Educate yourself, you fools.

Glory: Look, Stewie, if you'd just listen to us for a sec.

Stewie: No, you listen! I'll tell you what, you take me to the North Pole, and if Santa isn't there, I'll do something for you two.

Brian: What?

Stewie: When Lois does that middle-of-the-night feeding where she doesn't even open her eyes or really wake up, I'll let you take that one for me, Brian.

Brian: Are you serious?

Stewie: Quite.

Brian: Okay.

Glory: And what about me, Stewie?

Stewie: Um, I could... UUUUHHH... do all your chores for a week.

Glory: Two weeks.

Stewie: A month.

Glory: Done.

The trio went to Brian's car.

Brian: Damn it, it won't turn over.

It still wouldn't work.

Brian: Great! Not even halfway through Canada, and we're stuck.

A truck came by and parked it next to Brian's.

Drunk: Oh, hey there. You having some car troubles, eh?

Stewie: Yeah, we're trying to get to the North Pole. I don't suppose you're from Triple A, are you?

Drunk: Who?

Stewie: Triple A, you know? AAA.

Drunk: Oh, AA, eh? Yeah, I just came from AA.

Stewie: No, not AA. AAA.

Drunk: Yeah, that's what I said AA, eh?

Stewie: Oh, so you are with Triple A?

Drunk: Oh, no, that's AAA. I just came from AA, eh?

Stewie: Huh?

Brian: Stewie, I think he's just a drunk.

Stewie: Well, drunk or not, can you help us?

Drunk: I can if you want to join AA, eh?

Stewie: No, I'm already a member of AAA. I need help with the car.

Drunk: Oh, I see. Yeah, looks like you got some water leakage. You might need a hose, eh?

Stewie: Jose, Roberto, whatever. If you've got some Latinos up here that can fix cars, that'd be great.

Drunk: No, I mean, it looks like you need a part, eh?

Stewie: Well, yeah, when it's fixed, we can celebrate, but let's deal with first things first.

Drunk: Well, I can probably take you to a gas station, eh? You have cash, eh?

Stewie: I don't know, my name carries a little weight, but I don't see how that matters here.

Brian: Look, we don't have enough cash to fix the car, and we're kind of on our way to the North Pole.

Drunk: Oh, a car won't take you there, anyway. But if you like, you can take my snowmobile.

Brian: Really? You'd just give it to us?

Drunk: Oh, sure, that's what Canadian hospitality's all about. If you like, you can have all my money and my leg.

Stewie: Okay.

And so, our trio of heroes travels to the North Pole on a snowmobile.

Brian: Why'd we take his leg?

Stewie: Well, we're in their country, Brian. We have to observe their customs. Oh! Oh, dear.

He dropped thaat guy's leg.

Stewie: Well, at least we're done with the first leg of our journey.

Brian and Glory: Ha!

Stewie: Damn right, ha.

The trio travel for ours through snow, hills, and many many trees until they get to the North Pole.

Glory: Hey Brian, how long do you think we've been driving?

Brian: I don't know, I've lost track. Besides, dogs don't have a good sense of time. Could be three hours, could be three years, I don't (Bleep) know.

Stewie: Well, we must be pretty far north by now.

Brian: Yeah, you're right. Look, there's the aurora borealis.

Stewie: Yes, and there's the aurora Boreanaz.

David: Hi there. Things are kind of beautiful up north, huh?

They snowmibile stopped.

Brian: Oh, no!

Stewie: What's the matter?

Brian: We're out of gas.

Stewie: Out of gas?

Glory: We're dead.

Stewie: But, Brian, it's freezing out here! What are we gonna do?

Brian: I don't know. We'd better think of something.

David: Maybe I can help. There's an old, abandoned hunting cabin about two miles north of here. You could spend the night there and then resume your journey in the morning.

Stewie: Thanks, David. Guess there are a few stars in the sky tonight.

David: (chuckling) Come on. Come on, now.

Stewie: Okay, we'll leave you alone.

Now the trio continued to travel on foot. After a long walk, they stumbled upon the cabin. Brian used all his strength to open the door. They all entered and saw that the cabin was a bit old.

Brian: Alright, this should do for the night. Look, now that we have a moment, I think we should really try to call Lois and tell her where we are.

Stewie: Oh, don't worry. I've got that covered.

**(Griffin House)**

Robot Brian: Hey, Lois, would you make an appointment for me to be neutered in two days?

Lois: Well, are you sure, Brian?

Robot Brian: Yes, I'm sure. And whatever I say in two days, do not let me convince you that I've changed my mind.

Robot Stewie: Wow, you sound pretty serious about this, Brian.

Robot Brian: Oh, I am. In fact, I have this document that legally binds me to same.

Robot Glory: Have you had it notarized?

Robot Brian: No. But a notary should be here any minute.

Robot Robert: I received a call about notarizing a document, but I am spending the day with my family, so they are here, too. This is my wife, Janice, my daughters, Lisa and Jane, and this is Rosalyn, a friend of our daughter Jane's. Her family life is rough, so we are kind of like a second home.

Robot Janice: Robert!

Robot Robert: Well, it's true.

Robot Stewie: Well, thank you for taking the time to notarize this important document. I'm sure you are quite busy.

Robot Robert: Yes. We only have a moment, for we are taking a bus tour of Providence and other places.

The bus outside shows a bunch of robot people waving hello.

Ron: The next morning, Stewie, Glory, and Brian set out on foot for the North Pole. They were cold and tired, but Stewie was determined to carry out his plan to kill Santa Claus. As long as I've got all you people watching, does anyone want to buy some pot?

**(North Pole)**

They were cold and miserable looking. They can't stand being in the cold. After a long journey, they finally made it.

Stewie: My God! We made it, you guys! The North Pole! See? Boom! Right there! I told you! This is where Santa Claus lives! In your faces!

Glory: Whoa! Santa is real.

Brian: I don't believe it. It's here.

Stewie: Damn right, it's here! Now, while you think about the fact that you're never going to enjoy a nocturnal breast-feeding from Lois, I shall open the gate.

Stewie ran towards the gate and the red and white striped doors opened slowly. What they saw was not what they expected. Santa's workshop is a factory.

Glory: That's it? That's Santa's Workshop?

Stewie: No way. This can't be it. This can't be Santa's workshop. This looks like Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Brian: Oh, boy, get ready for the letters.

**(Somewhere)**

Guy: Dear Family Guy bastards, who the hell do you think you are? I'll have you know that Bridgeport is among the world leaders in abandoned buildings, shattered glass, boarded-up windows, wild dogs and gas stations without pumps. So eat my (bleep), Jew writers.

**(North Pole)**

Stewie: Well, whatever sort of trick this is, I will not be deterred. I'm not leaving until Santa Claus is dead by my hand!

Stewie knocked on the door and held up a gun. The door opened and came out Santa. He didn't look too good though.

Glory: Oh, my God! You're You're Santa Claus!

Santa: Yeah. Who are you?

Stewie: I'm Stewie Griffin, and I'm going to kill you!

Santa: (Sigh) Ah Thank God!

Stewie: What?

Santa: Do it! Please! Put me out of my misery!

Stewie: You want me to kill you?

Santa put his mouth on the gun.

Santa: Come on! What are you waiting for?! Pull the trigger!

Stewie: Well, there isn't a great deal of sport in that.

Santa began to coughing and wheezing.

Brian: Oh, my God, are are you all right?

Santa: (Hacking) I'm okay. (Hoarsely) I'm okay. (Hacking) I just need to catch my breath.

Glory: This doesn't make any sense, Santa. I thought you were supposed to be jolly and happy.

Santa: I used to be, a long time ago. I made toys for little boys and girls. I loved my work, and they loved me. But it just got out of hand. The world's population kept growing and growing. Kids wanted more toys, fancier toys! We used to make wooden choo-choos and rag dolls. You ever try to make an iPod? I've got orders for millions of 'em!

Stewie: Oh, that reminds me I need a new version of Quicken.

Santa: Look at the toxic waste we're producing.

The toxic was wasteful.

Santa: In fact, I think the toxins are taking even more of a toll than the inbreeding.

Brian: Inbreeding?

Santa: Take a look!

They followed Santa into his workshop.

Santa: I started with one family of magic elves, and every year I needed more and more to keep up. Now they're just a sickly race of mutated genetic disasters. At least 60% of them are born blind.

An elf accidentally sewed his hand to a teddy bear and started shrieking.

Santa: The workload destroys them, but they don't know anything else. It's gotten so their instincts take over, and near the end, they just walk out into the snow and die. Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a blood-lust for elf flesh. I don't even pray for them anymore. Seems pointless. What God would allow this?

Stewie: This is in none of the songs or poetry. It's a horror show up here!

Brian: How could you let this happen?

Santa: Me? I didn't do this. Christmas did!

Santa: _"Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal as the holiday feeling was filling us." "But now instead all we're feeling is dread because Christmastime is killing us!"_

Elves: _"Each Christmas list gets us more and more pissed till the thought of existence is chilling us."_

Santa: _"I'll tell you what, shove your list up your butt because Christmastime is killing us!"_

Stewie: _"But can't you see that what you do is a dream come true?" "Can't you see that every smile makes it all worthwhile?"_

Santa: _"No, screw you. It's all but through. There's too much to do." "All those dreams are nightmares and blank icy stares!"_

Santa: _"Each little elf used to fill up a shelf making playthings and selflessly thrilling us." "Now they're on crack, and it feels like Iraq because Christmastime is killing us!"_

Elves: _"Each model train only heightens the pain of a workload that's draining and drilling us."_

Santa: _"Fingers all bleed and look, that guy just peed because Christmastime is killing us!"_

Stewie: _"But can't you see our point of view? We rely on you." "Can't you see that Christmas cheer gets us through the year?"_

Santa: _"My whole crew is black and blue. Can't you take a clue?" "You may think I look great, but I'm 28."_

Santa and Elves:_ "Each jingle bell is a requiem knell." "And while you think it's swell we are toiling in Hell."_

Santa: _"Take a look, you can tell as a man I'm a sheeeeeeeeeell because Christmastime is killing us!" "Killing us!" "Christmastime is killing us!"_ (Cough) (Fell out)

Ron: So Brian, Glory, and Stewie found Santa Claus, but he sure wasn't what they expected. It turned the increasing demands of Christmas had all but destroyed the poor old man. Okay, look at this. Somebody gave me a little remote control helicopter. Pretty cool, huh?

It fell to the ground.

Ron: Oh, it's broken.

**(Santa's Workshop)**

Doctor Elf: I don't know, he's in rough shape.

Glory: Doctor, you've got to do something for him. It's Christmas Eve.

Doctor Elf: Christmas is the problem. He can't keep this pace up anymore. If he goes out tonight, he'll die.

Glory: Well, then who's gonna deliver all the presents?

Brian: We will.

Stewie and Glory: What?

Brian: Stewie, look, you were right. Santa is real. And he needs our help. Don't worry, Santa. We'll make sure there's a Christmas this year.

Santa: Thank you, Brian. That brings me peace in this hour. I'll be with Allah soon.

Brian: What?

Doctor Elf: Uh, ye He doesn't know what he's saying, he's delirious. Look, you'd better get moving.

Brian: Alright, guys, let's go get the sleigh ready.

Stewie: Is anyone else a little freaked out by that Allah thing?

Glory: I am.

Brian: Never mind that, let's just get going.

The trio got into the sleigh outside ready to go.

Glory: Alright. Let's do this. For Christmas.

Reins snapped and nothing happened.

Stewie: Go on.

Reins snapped again.

Stewie: Giddy-up.

Reins snaped again.

Stewie: Come on, you dumb deer.

And again.

Glory: Why isn't it working?

Brian: I think they need to be coaxed. Santa said they eat elf flesh.

They spotted an Elf standing in the snow. Possibly a corpse that can stand.

Stewie: Uh, oh, oh, excuse me? Uh, sir? Mr. Elf, sir? Hello? Young man? I I don't think he even knows where he is.

Brian: Do Do you want to just-

Stewie: Yeah, I mean, uh, I'll just try and do it, I guess.

He got out of the sleigh and walked towards the elf.

Stewie: Hey. Hey, fella?

He pulled out a knife and began cutting off the elf's arm.

Stewie: Um Okay. Bye.

He went back to the sleigh and threw it in front of the reindeer with a fishing rod. The deer ran and ran until thet soared up in the air.

Stewie: Hey guys, look. That one reindeer just kind of pooped in the other reindeer's face, and and the other reindeer just kind of ate it. Isn't Christmas magical?

They soared above the clouds.

Brian: Alright, according to this map, we're approaching the northeast coast of the U.S. Get ready to land.

They passed by the Statue of Liberty and over a small snowy town.

Stewie: Alright, this is it, our first town. I'm gonna head for that roof.

They were going down.

Glory: Uh, Stewie? Why are we tilting?

Stewie: Look, I've never landed one of these things before, okay?

Brian: You're coming in too fast! Look out!

After the Deer got stuck in a tree, after a few screams, the sleigh landed roughly of a rooftop and the trio got knocked out.

Stewie: Alright, this is good. In and out of this house and onto the next one.

Brian: What about the reindeer?

Stewie: Yeah, we'll cut them down afterwards. Now let's get down the chimney.

Glory went first, then Stewie, then Brian. After Glory stepped away from the chimney, Stewie came out and Brian landed on him.

Stewie: Ow! Bitch!

Glory: Okay guys, let's get the presents under the tree.

Stewie: Alright, you have 'em?

Glory: No, I thought you had them.

Stewie: Brian?

Brian: Nope.

Stewie: Oh, for the love of God, they're still in the sleigh.

Brian: Aw, crap. On the roof?

The sleigh full of presents fell from the roof.

Stewie: No, it's it's in the yard.

They went outside and grabbed some presents. Brian tried to open the door, but it's locked.

Brian: Oh, my God.

Glory: Didn't you unlock the door when we left?

Brian: No, you were the last one out!

Glory: Well, how the hell are we gonna get back inside?

Brian: Alright, find a rock.

Glory broke the window with a rock, Brian went through, and unlocked the door from the inside.

Stewie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

Brian: I'm putting out the presents.

Stewie: Not like that you're not. Tall in the back, short in the front. And show some care, for God's sake. You know, those Those aren't socks and underwear donated by the fire department to some battered women's shelter. Those are Santa gifts, Brian. You know, you You have to Wait. What What are you two doing? Did you guys just eat those whole cookies off the mantel?

Brian: What? They left it out for Santa. We're Santa.

Glory: Yeah! So!

Stewie: So, you're not supposed to eat all of it. You take a bite and a sip of milk. That's how the kids know Santa was here!

Glory: Don't yell at us. The people upstairs could hear you.

Stewie: I'm not yelling at you. I'm just I'm telling you how it's done. They They need some kind of indication that Santa was here.

Brian: Oh, okay, how about this?

Brian spilled the milk of the floor on purpose.

Brian: Look. Hey, now they know he was here. See?

Stewie: Stop it!

Glory: Look bro, we're here giving out free presents! And we'll eat the damn cookies if we want to!

Brian: Yeah and you know what? I might even make a sandwich!

Stewie: Wait. Where are you going?

Brian: I'm going into the kitchen. I'm gonna make a sandwich, get some chips or something.

Stewie: Brian, knock it off!

The bag busted and the chips were all over the kitchen floor.

Brian: Aw, man.

Stewie: You jackass!

Dan: Hey, who the hell are you three?

Brian: Uh Hello?

Dan: What are you doing in my house?

Stewie: We're Santa Claus... ses.

Dan: Yeah, you're Santa Claus. That's why you broke in through the window. I'm calling the cops.

Brian: No, no, no. I I can explain. We We came down the chimney, but we We forgot the presents. It's It's actually It's kind of a funny story-

Stewie knocked him the (Bleep) out with a bat.

Glory: (Scream)

Brian: (Yell) Stewie, what the hell did you do?!

Stewie: He was gonna call the cops! You can't call the cops on Santa. Now help me move this guy's body!

They moved his body to a closet nd he was still alive.

Stewie: See? He's still alive.

Stewie hit him with the bat some more.

Stewie: Alright, tie him up. I'm gonna make it look like a burglary.

Stewie wrecked the house a little and Brian and Glory tied the dude up.

Glory: Alright, look, let's just go already.

Stewie: Right, right. We'll go. I'm gonna rewrap this bat for, um, Johnny. Let me just clean his father's blood and hair off it.

Girl: Daddy, I want a drink of water.

Stewie: (Bleep)

The little girl came down the stairs and spotted the trio of fake santas.

Stewie: Hey, there. How you doing?

Girl: Who are you?

Stewie: I'm Santa.

Girl: You're Santa?!

Her mom came down the stairs.

Mom: (Gasp) Who are you? Where's Dan?

His body came out the closet.

Mom: (Gasps) Oh, my God! (crying)

Brian: Oh, crap!

Brian tackled her.

Brian: Quick, Stewie! Get the bat!

Mom: Help! Help! (Groan)

Stewie knocked her the (Bleep) out too.

Girl: Mommy! (Sob)

Stewie: It's okay. It's okay. Brian, see if you can find some duct tape.

Brian: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Girl: Mommy!

Brian: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Glory knocked the girl the (Bleep) out with a chop on the back of her neck.

Brian: Did you just karate chopped a little girl out.

Glory: Yeah yeah I did.

Stewie tape the little girl up.

Stewie: Alright, let's get this place cleaned up.

The parents were tied up and the girl was taped to a chair.

Stewie: Alright, that's the last of the blood. Go check on the other kid.

Brian: What other kid?

Stewie: Johnny, the one who's getting the bat.

He went upstairs to check.

Brian: Stewie, there's only one bedroom up here.

Stewie: What? But that's impossible.

Glory: Hey girl, do you have a brother?

She shook her head no.

Glory: Wait. Then who the hell is Joh- oh no.

Stewie: Oh, my God, we're in the wrong house, aren't we?

Glory: Afraid we are.

Sirens were heard outside.

Stewie: Damn it, we tripped the alarm. Brian, the cops are coming. Let's go!

Brian: What? We're just leaving like this? What about not wanting to ruin Christmas?!

Stewie: It's already ruined! This was one house. We've been here for an hour and a half! An hour and first of all, we're not even Santa anymore. This has been a home invasion. But an hour and a half, Brian! It's gonna be light in six hours, and we have to deliver to the whole rest of the world! There's two apartment buildings on this block alone!

Brian: No wonder Santa lost his mind. This is ridiculous! We can't do this!

Stewie: Nobody can. It's inhuman!

Glory: Helloooo! Cops coming? Tied up family here?

Brian: Oh right, come on!

They went back to the sleigh.

Glory: Come on. Let's get outta here.

Brian: What about the reindeer?

Glory: Hell with the reindeer! They're all eating each other!

And so they were.

Brian: Then how are we-

Stewie: Not to worry. We don't need 'em. I made a few modifications to the sleigh. Hang on.

They sleigh grew wings and began to fly before the cops showed up.

Glory: Well, that was a disaster.

Brian: I can't believe it. We were supposed to save Christmas, and we completely blew it.

Stewie: We failed Santa.

Brian: No. No, we didn't fail Santa.

Glory: We didn't?

Brian: No Glory. The world failed Santa. He gives and gives and gives, and everyone just takes him for granted. Hell, I I didn't even think he existed until last night.

Stewie: Well, what are we supposed to do now? Christmas is doomed.

Brian: Maybe, but there is one thing we can do. Move over.

Brian and took over riding the sleigh. When morning came, Peter felt excited and went downstairs for presents.

Peter: (Gasp) Lois! There's no presents under the tree!

Lois: What? Oh, my God.

Peter went outside.

Peter: Joe, did you get any Christmas presents?!

Joe: No.

Quagmire: Me, neither!

Mort: I got eight mediocre things.

Tom: Good morning, Quahog. Our top story today Santa Claus skips Christmas. Hopeful citizens worldwide woke up to disappointment this morning when they discovered no gifts from Santa under their Christmas trees. Local officials are going with the theory that everyone was bad this year. The investigation continues into this mysterious-

Brian: Wait! I know what happened to Christmas!

Lois: Brian?!

In the studio, the trio brought out santa in a wheelchair.

Tom: (Gasp) Santa Claus!

Brian: That's right! It's Santa Claus. And you've got to listen to me. The reason there was no Christmas this year is that this man is sick. Very sick. And he needs our help. He's been bludgeoned by years of greed and avarice. The workload of filling our Christmas lists has overwhelmed him. And at the rate he's going, he may not make it another year. But there's a way for us to help him. If all of us everywhere can just cut back our demands and ask for only one Christmas present every year, there may still be hope. I know it's in our nature to resist sacrifice, even in hard times, but if we don't, we may have to give up Christmas altogether.

Glory: What do you say people of the world? Please, help us save Santa's life. For Santa.

Stewie: For peace.

Brian: For Christmas.

Tom: Well, folks, you heard it here first on Channel Five News. Looks like we have a choice. One Christmas gift a year for each one of us. Can we live with that?

Chris: I can.

Lois: So can I.

Peter: Me too.

Meg: I can too.

Quagmire: I can live with that.

Joe: Count me in.

Mayor West: One is enough.

Seamus: Aye.

Bruce: I can.

Herbert: One gift is okay.

Dr. Hartman: I can live with it.

Cleveland: Okay, just one. But if it's a gym membership, somebody's getting punched in the (Bleep) face.

The next year, the North Pole was back to normal. It looked like a real work shop again, the elves were happy, and Santa was back to his jolly old self again. The citizens of Quahog got their one christmas presents and were proud to have them. As for the Griffins, Meg got another hat like hers. Chris got a bunny rabbit. Lois got groceries. Brian got a bottle pimps drink out of. Stewie's got a new blaster gun. Glory got a mistletoe and kissed her boyfriend Akihiko under it. Meg was so jealous, she tore her new hat in half. And finally, Peter got a Charles In Charge lunchbox. Everyone was happy.

Everybody: _"We can get out of any mess if we learn to live with less." "And with Santa's love there's nothing to feeeeeear." "All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all I really waaaaaant thiiiiiis yeeeear!"_

Ron: (Burp)

The End.


	7. Road to Las Vegas

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows a sign with lights that says "Road to Rhode Vegas"

The third shows Brian, Stewie, &amp; Glory dressed up like those women that kick their legs in the air.

The fourth shows them driving along at night in a shiny red car.

The fifth shows a slot machine. And coming out of it was coins with the trios faces on them.

The sixth shows the trio in a pool checking out gorgeous people. Brian checked out a hot woman. Glory checked out a cute towel boy. And Stewie checked out a muscular man.

The seventh shows them as playing cards. Brian's the Joker. Glory's the Queen. And Stewie's the King.

The eighth shows them as acrobats swinging from swing to swing.

The ninth shows them playing cards. Glory and Stewie looked at Brian's hand.

The tenth shows them performing a magic trick. Glory was the lovely assistant. Brian's the magician with a saw. And Stewie got cut in half while in the box.

The eleventh shows Brian and Stewie in disguise.

The twelveth shows the three as that blue group holding as long curvy tube.

And the final one shows them as parts of buildings in vegas.

Our story begins showing the Griffin Family walking into the Quahog Gay Pride Parade.

Lois: Thanks for encouraging us to come to Gay Pride Day, Brian.

Peter: Yeah, this seems like it'll be fun. Real fun, not "entertain your wife's parents while your wife is at work" fun.

(Flashback)

Husband: Laura gets home at 7:00, so I figure we can stare at our wine glasses till then.

They all did.

Husband: So, uh so, when when do you guys think you're gonna die?

(Reality)

Chris: Wow, a parade. It's like I'm walking past stuff, but I'm not going anywhere.

Meg: Look, there's the float commemorating sham marriages.

Man: Sorry, this stomach thing is acting up again tonight. Oh, and I'm going on a business trip to Mykonos for July.

Peter: And it says this next one is the "Shocking Reveal Gay Float." (Gasp)

The family was shocked cause there was a float with a guy that looks like Peter.

Peter: I had no idea.

Glory: Hey guys, check that out. There's an air show up there.

The planes were rushing into each other.

Lois: Oh my God, they're gonna crash!

Peter: No, no, don't worry. It's a gay air show. They're just gonna lightly touch tips.

The planes touched tips.

Everyone: Aw!

Weenie and the Butt were making an announcement.

Weenie: Well, listen up, everybody, 'cause it's time for our grand prize drawing for three tickets to see Celine Dion live in Las Vegas!

Infertility!

Weenie: Here we go! Our grand prize winner is Brian Griffin.

The audience applaused.

Brian: Wow, I don't believe it!

Peter: Hey, congratulations, buddy. You know, you're a lucky guy. The only thing I ever won was an extra day of summer.

(Flashback)

Peter: Okay Peter, one more day.

Peter: Yay!

He ripped his clothes off, ran out the door, walked back inside.

Peter: I saw what I look like in a car window, and now I don't want to go.

(Griffin House)

Announcer: We now return to Franklin and Bash with Indicators to Show Which One is Franklin and Which One is Bash.

Bash: Defensive blows to their heads were to send a message...

Indicator: Oh, sorry, sorry.

The indicators fixed it.

Franklin: Help me get into used car sales.

Brian: Hey, Stewie. Hey, Glory.

Glory: Hey Brian. What's up?

Brian: I don't know if you guys have any interest in this, but I was wondering if you two want to go to Vegas with me and see Celine Dion.

Stewie: Are you kidding? Of course we want to go!

Glory: Hey, let me see those tickets.

She looked at them.

Glory: Wow, these are good seats!

Brian: I know. Apparently they were donated by Goldman's Pharmacy. Turns out Mort's cousin is Celine's opening act.

Stewie: Really? What's his talent?

Brian: I understand he's a magician of sorts.

(Stage)

Goldman: All right, for this next trick, I need a quarter from the audience.

A woman gave him a quarter.

Goldman: Okay, thank you.

He ran backstage, hopped into his car drove off. She never got her quarter back.

(Griffin House)

Brian: You almost ready, Stewie? We should probably start heading to the airport.

Glory: Yeah we really don't wanna be late.

Stewie: Yes, I was gonna talk to you about that, actually. Last night, I was thinking to myself, "Why fly, when we can get there instantly?"

Brian: What? What do you mean?

Stewie: Well, you see, I recently completed construction on a teleportation device, and it occurred to me, this may be the perfect chance to try it out.

Stewie revealed his invention underneath his bed.

Brian: Wow, Stewie, that's incredible!

Glory: When'd you build this?

Peter walked in.

Peter: Oh, hey, guys.

Glory: Dad, what do you have behind your back?

Peter: Uh, nothing!

Glory: Daaaad!

He had scissors.

Glory: Give me the scissors.

Peter: I was just gonna make some masks!

Glory: Then use your scissors.

Peter: They're not sharp!

He wined and ran off.

Stewie: So, what do you say?

Glory: Hmm, teleport to Vegas, huh? Well it seems like the quickest way. Ok.

Brian: All right, let's do it!

Stewie turned on the machine and the trio got on the pad.

Stewie: Okay, now, the device is powered by kinetic energy, so you've got to dance to make it work.

Brian: You, uh really?

Stewie: Yeah, you've got to dance.

Glory and Brian danced funny.

Stewie: HAHAHA! What are you doing, you tools? Do you two know anything about science? You just saw me program it.

In a flash of light, they were still home.

Glory 2: What the hell, Stewie? It didn't work. We're still here.

Stewie: Hmm, that's odd. It appears there may still be a few more bugs to work out. Well, it was worth a try.

After they got off the machine's teleportation was 100%.

Brian: Oh my God, Stewie! It-it worked! We're in Vegas!

Glory: We made it.

Stewie 2: Yeah, all right! Well, let's hit the hospital, get checked for teleportation cancer and then party!

Stewie: Well, since the teleportation machine failed to get us to Vegas, I suppose we should just catch our plane. I'll repair it when we get back.

Stewie and Stewie 2: You know, this is going to be a good trip, you two. I really feel like fate is on our side.

Peter came back in the room.

Peter: Scissors are jerks. And I'm a owl.

(Plane and Vegas)

Brian: Oh, wow, look at that, Stewie. Perfect timing.

Glory: Vegas looks so beautiful.

Stewie 2: Everything's beautiful here, Glory. Just embrace it.

Stewie: This is miserable. Three-hour delay and a completely full flight.

A woman stared at Stewie.

Stewie: Don't look at us, you (Bleep) pig. Take your Juicy sweatpants and your dirty pillow from home, and your bucket of Coke, and get the hell out of my sight. What was her problem?

Back in Vegas, the second trio saw the water sprinkling up or something.

Stewie 2: You see that, Brian? That's going to be our penises later, right?

Glory stepped aside away from Stewie.

(Hotel)

Brian: Stewie, that teleportation machine is amazing. It's so great that we're already here.

Stewie 2: Yep, drink it in, Bri. Time to enjoy all the Bellagio has to offer. Classic architecture. Beautiful art.

Glory: And let's not forget. The air is clean because they suck up all the cigarette smoke and dump it in the bad hotels.

(Bad Hotel)

Mom: Smell that, kids? It's been in a rich person's mouth.

(Hotel)

Stewie 2: Hi. We're checking in. Griffin?

Manager: Ah, yes. I see you've requested a bed that's good for bouncing and jumping?

Stewie 2: That is correct. I am a businessman.

Manager: Just sign here, please. And you can actually keep that pen if you'd like.

Stewie 2: No way! Really? Wow, you see that, guys? Good luck already. You know, I know we're switching to a digital world, but I-I think this little guy's still got a place in it.

Glory: So, what should we do now?

Brian: We should try one of those slot machines by the entrance. You know, they always set those things to pay out more so they can lure people into the casino.

Glory: Great idea.

Brian walked up to the machine, put in a dollar, pulled the lever, it came out emerald, emerald, emerald.

Brian: Oh, my God- I don't believe it!

Glory: Brian, we won! We won the jackpot!

Stewie 2: Oh, this is unbelievable. I haven't had this much fun since I hosted the Oscars.

(Flashback)

Stewie: Good evening. I just want to say that I have the utmost respect for women everywhere. And also, the Jews. Good night.

(Hotel - Night)

Brian 2: Oh, thank God, we're finally here. That plane ride took forever.

Glory 2: Ya know what was weird? The fact that they showed Flight 93 on Flight 93.

Stewie: Hi. We're checking in. Griffin?

Manager: Hmm, I do have a Griffin here, but that room was checked into hours ago.

Brian 2: What?

Manager: Yes, and I'm afraid we have no other rooms available.

Stewie: I see. Is there a less heavy person that could check again for me?

Manager: I'm sorry, we're all booked up because the Slut Convention's in town.

Brian 2: Slut Convention?

Manager: Yeah. They were promised a single millionaire, but it's really just a bunch of horny squirrels in a rich-guy suit.

(Slut Convention)

Slut 1: So you made your money in business?

The man said yes.

Slut 2: Where's your room, handsome?

He pointed but that squirrels got out and tried to do the sluts.

(Hotel - Night)

Stewie: Can I at least have that pen?

Manager: No, that's Bellagio property.

Stewie: Aw.

Glory 2: Well, this sucks. What are we gonna do?

Brian 2: I know. I'm gonna go try one of those slot machines by the entrance. They always set those things to pay out more so they can lure people into the casino.

Brian 2 walked up to the machine, put in a dollar, pulled the lever, and nothing happened.

Brian 2: Damn it, Vegas! Excuse me, where can I find some smoking Asians? Oh, everywhere? Okay.

Luck be a lady played in the background. Brian, Glory, and Stewie 2 enjoyed their time in Vegas. They had dinner together. Brian had steak, Glory had lobster, and Stewie had apple sauce. Then they went to a magic show. There, two magicians switched Stewie with a white Tiger. They also played craps, cashed in to earn money, got wasted, bought a car and Stewie 2 drove the card into a wall killing two guys.

(Vegas Star Hotel)

Glory 2: Oh my God. This place is a dump.

Brian 2: Yeah I'll say. There's not even pillows.

Stewie: Well, let's not be so quick to judge. It says here there's a continental breakfast. Oh, the continent is Africa.

Brian 2: Stewie, this place is a complete pit. I mean, doesn't it seem weird to you that we have to re-check-in every 20 minutes?

Stewie: Also the porn is free, but we have to watch it in the lobby.

(Casino)

Brian 2: Okay, let's see if we can turn this trip around. I'm gonna try some blackjack.

Stewie: Here, take $40. Glory, you take 40 bucks too.

Glory 2: What are you gonna do?

Stewie: I'm gonna go get some ice cream.

Glory 2: All right, we'll catch up with you.

Brian 2 went to play 21.

Brian 2: Hey there Denise. How you doing today?

Denise: I don't know. I usually have to check with my boyfriend first.

Brian 2: Oh. Uh hit, please. 24? Crap!

Denise: Do you know what it's like to go to the doctor and see your own foot in the garbage can?

Brian 2: Okay, you have a good night. Hey, Stewie, I need some more money.

Stewie: I lost it all, Brian!

Brian 2: What?

Stewie: Well, I was on my way to get ice cream and I passed a roulette table, and I put it all on 16 because of that Taylor Swift song, "Sixteen."

Brian 2: That song is called "Fifteen."

Stewie: It came up 15!

Brian 2: Stewie, that was all the money I brought.

Stewie: Not all of it. I gave Glory $40.

Glory 2 came back from another roulette table.

Glory 2: I lost it all.

Brian 2: Let me guess. It came up 15.

Glory 2: How'd you know?

Stewie: Because that song was called "Fifteen."

Glory 2: Oh!

Brian 2: Damn it, this was a complete disaster. I knew I should've just brought Peter instead of you two.

Glory 2: Oh, come on, you would've done much worse with him. Dad's got a terrible tell.

(Flashback)

Peter, Joe, and Quagmire were playing cards in the basement. Peter gasp, put up a sign that says great cards and a little celebration of sort later.

Quagmire: Any cards, Peter?

Peter: No, I'm good.

(Caesars Palace)

Brian: Oh, this is gonna be great. I hear she puts on an amazing show.

Stewie 2: She does. You'll be amazed that that voice comes out of that face.

Glory: This is gonna be awesome.

They scanned their tickets and went in.

Glory 2: Oh, thank God, we made it in time. I didn't realize how far that awful hotel is from the Strip.

Stewie: The woman who cleaned our room had no ears.

Their tickets were invalid.

Man: I'm sorry, these tickets are invalid.

Brian 2: What?

Man: It's showing that they've already been scanned. I can't let you in.

Stewie: Oh, this trip has been a disaster.

Brian 2: I know. I actually thought I was gonna win big and get that plastic surgery I always wanted.

(Imagination)

Girl 1: Oh, my God! Look at him.

Girl 2: He's so cute.

Little Brian ran around and licked her boobs.

Brian: I'm small, so this is okay.

(Sidewalk)

Glory 2: This is the worst trip ever. I am never coming back here again.

Brian 2: You know what, screw it. I say we just cut our losses and fly home.

Stewie: Yeah, I'm not so sure about that.

Brian 2: What? Why?

Glory 2: Stewie, what did you do?

Stewie: Well, I may have And-and you are gonna laugh your butts off about this, if I know your dark sense of humor, but I may have gambled away our plane tickets.

Brian 2: You what? I can't believe this.

Glory 2: Now we're never gonna get home. How do you even do that anyway?

Stewie: It's Vegas. You can gamble anything.

(Casino)

Father 1: I'd like to bet my daughter's virginity on 23.

Man: I'm sorry, it's 31.

Daughter: Ow!

Father 2: How's it going here?

Father 1: Not great.

Father 2: I know what you mean. We just took a pounding at the craps table.

(Sidewalk)

Glory 2: Look, why don't we just call mom and dad? Maybe they can help us.

Brian 2: I don't know about that. You know that $500 bucks we lost? I sort of took that from Lois without asking. If she finds out it's all gone, she'll kill me.

Stewie: Oh.

Man: Did you fellas say you're in a bit of a fix? My buddy's got the inside track on a basketball game. It's a sure thing.

Stewie: I like how all your teeth are different shapes.

Brian 2: Why are you telling us this? What do you want from us?

Man: Honestly, I'm trying to sell my condo, and I need people to come to the open house and talk about how nice it is.

(Condo)

Brian 2 was a dad, Glory 2 was a mom, and Stewie of course was the baby.

Glory 2: Wow, the price per square foot is quite competitive with similar homes in the area.

Brian 2: Yes, I also love it. I will likely purchase it unless others put in a rival bid.

Glory 2: Well, what's stopping you? You know, you've always been so noncommittal in our relationship. Do know how much it hurt my feelings when you paused before introducing me to your parents? And it's the same reason you didn't take that job in Denver. I'm sorry I didn't mean to waste your time. I just remembered my husband is a total chicken (Bleep).

Stewie: WHAAAAAA WHAAAAAA!

Brian 2: I'm not 100% sure what we're doing any more.

(Bar)

Brian: It's like I say, the best thing you can see in Vegas is bar, bar, bar.

Stewie 2: Yeah, and he's not talking about slot machines.

Brian: Ooh!

Glory 2: Stewie, I'm still not sure this is a great idea.

Stewie: Relax, Glory; we're betting on one basketball game. That's it. Then we'll be out of debt and on our way home.

Brian 2: I suppose. I just wish we didn't have to borrow money from a loan shark. I mean, that guy seemed pretty serious.

(Flashback)

Loan Shark: Okay, and just a couple of remaining items. Please indicate here if I look like a schmuck to you.

Stewie: I'm gonna say no.

Loan Shark: Great. Then please check here and initial there. Uh, next, do you think this is some kind of game?

Glory 2: Um, no.

Loan Shark: Okay, initial, please. And finally, my date of birth. Was it yesterday?

(Bar)

The bad luck trio lost a bet.

Announcer: And 'll at it for us here with Duke losing by just three points.

Stewie: We we lost.

Brian 2: Oh crap, we're screwed.

Glory 2: We're so dead.

The good luck trio sat on the other side.

Brian: Hey, Stewie, give me $100 from the backpack. I want to pay a Wayne Neon look-alike to beat up a Rita Rudner look-alike.

Stewie 2: I'll give you $1,000. Pay him to beat up Rita Rudner.

Stewie 2 grabbed the wrong backpack.

Brian 2: Guys, we gotta get the hell out of here before that loan shark finds us.

Stewie: Yes, you're right.

Stewie grabbed Stewie 2's backpack.

Stewie: I've got a bad feeling for us.

Stewie 2: I've got a good feeling for us.

Peter: I'm gonna get me that honey.

Stewie 2: I say, Brian, this backpack feels a bit lighter than it did before.

Brian: Well, I wasn't gonna tell you till later, but I actually used part of my portion to take care of some personal business.

(Flashback)

Brian: All right, fine.

He paid a sniper user to kill Quagmire's cat. He texted Brian back saying it's done.

(Hotel)

The good luck trio got to the elevator

Mob: Hey, boss, it's me. I just spotted those three idiots who borrowed all that money. Yeah, well, now they're strutting around in flashy suits and a dress. Don't worry; I'll get that money back no matter what, and for sure I'm not gonna stop first and get some crepes in the lobby.

He hung up.

Mob: Where can I get some crepes?

(Hotel room)

Brian: Hey, thanks for coming with me you guys. This really has been an amazing trip.

Glory: Yeah, we should come back here sometime.

Stewie 2: Yeah. Um, listen, this might be a good time to tell you, uh, I invited, um, somebody to come to the room.

Glory: What do you mean?

The man banged on the door.

Stewie 2: Oh, that must be him now. Okay, come on, you look nothing like your picture in the ad.

Mob: Shut up and give me the money!

Brian: What? What the hell are you talking about?

Stewie 2: Okay, I'm starting to think you're not Apollo.

Mob: (Angry) You bastards think you can just borrow a bunch of money from a loan shark and then waste it on tacky suits?

Stewie 2: Tacky? Sir, I'll have you know I bought this in the lobby of a casino.

Brian: Well, don't shoot.

Glory: Yeah, you must have us confused with somebody else. We didn't borrow any money, we swear.

Mob: Sounds like somebody wants to die.

Brian: Aah! No, no! Stewie, just give him the money from the backpack.

Stewie 2: Okay, okay. Don't shoot. Wha It's empty. It's just Cheerios and coloring books.

Brian: What? Where the hell is the money?

Stewie 2: Sir, we can't give you any money, but if you've got some milk and a bowl, we can give you a pretty healthy way to start your day.

Mob: All right, enough of this. You, girl, pick which one of you two is gonna die.

Glory: What? You can't ask me to decide something like that. The life of every being is sacred, just like the life...

Mob: Fine. I guess it's ladies first.

Glory: No, no, kill him. He's a baby.

Brian: Yeah kill him first. He-he won't even remember he was alive.

Stewie 2: You sons of b...

The man shot Stewie 2 in the forhead.

Brian and Glory: AAGH! STEWIE!

Mob: Now, get us the money you borrowed. (Exit)

Glory: (Cry) Oh, my God, Stewie, no!

Brian: (Cry) He's He's gone. Our little buddy's gone.

Apollo Guy: Yeah, I was booked for three hours by Archibald Meatpants.

Glory: He's he's dead.

Apollo Guy: Okay, well, either way, I'm getting paid, and somebody's getting torn open.

(Vegas Star Hotel)

Brian 2: What the hell are we gonna do? We have no money, no way to get home, and one of the loan shark's goons is probably gonna bust through that door any minute and kill us.

Stewie: I wish my daddy were here. He always knows what to do.

(Flashback)

Peter smashed into someone's car.

Peter: Oh, son of a bitch. Well, I better leave a note. It's the right thing to do.

He left a note that says Sowwy! With a frown face.

(Vegas Star Hotel)

Brian 2: God, I've never felt so hopeless. I mean, what are we supposed to do? Just wait for them to come kill us?

Stewie: Well, we could go on the run.

Brian 2: With what money? And they'd still find us.

Stewie: Well, why don't we just hitchhike home?

Glory 2: We can't. Even if we could get back there, we'd just be putting the whole family in danger. I don't see any way out of this.

Stewie: Well, there is one thing we could do.

Glory 2: What?

Stewie: We could go out on our own terms.

Glory 2: What?

Brian 2: You're saying we should kill ourselves?

Stewie: Well, think about it. We're stuck here, just waiting for some mobster to do it. At least this way, we can go out together.

Brian 2: But think about what you're saying.

Glory 2: We can't do this.

Stewie: We're dead no matter what. At least this way, it'll be quick and clean. Well, not clean for the staff of the hotel, but that's not really gonna be our problem anymore.

Glory 2: Brian, what are you thinking?

Brian 2: I-I don't know.

Stewie: Look, it's not like we've got a lot to live for. I mean, I'm just gonna end up like Chris, only I'll be smart enough to realize how miserable I am. Glory, you'll probably end up in Meg's clothes after she's gone. And Brian, you've only got a few good years left anyway, and that's if we even get out of here alive.

Glory 2: Ok. I'm in.

Brian: Let's do it.

Stewie: Yeah, see, I'm glad you came around. You know, the only thing that was holding me back even a little is knowing how much Lois is gonna milk this.

(Funeral)

Lois: (Cry) Everyone, I truly want to thank you for your support and remind you that, as far as casseroles go, we're good on pasta, but we could use some more dessert items. Oh, I miss my baby so much, and I'm more of a chocolate person than a fruit person.

(Vegas Star Hotel)

They were on the balcony getting ready to jump.

Stewie: Well, this is it.

Brian 2: I guess so.

Glory 2: See you both up there.

Stewie: Count to three?

Glory 2: Yep.

Stewie, Brian 2, Glory 2: One, two, three!

Stewie was left behind.

Stewie: I'm sorry. I can't. I want to live! I didn't really think we were gonna do it.

Brian 2 and Glory 2: You (Bleep) dick! (Die)

Stewie: Oh, my God, Brian! Glory! Noooo! Good Lord, what have I done? I better get the hell out of here.

He tripped over the backpack with money.

Stewie: What the deuce? Where did this come from? Well, looks like Archibald Meatpants is gonna have a fun night.

(Bus Station)

Stewie: One-way to Providence, please.

Brian: Yeah, how much to get to Providence?

Stewie: Brian? Glory?

Brian: Stewie, what the hell?

Glory: You're alive?

Stewie: But how can you be Oh, my God. C-Could it be?

Glory: Ok I'm freaking out. What the hell is going on?

Stewie: I think I know. My teleportation machine worked.

Brian: Of course it did; that's how we got here.

Stewie: No, that's how you two got here. I flew. The machine must have created two pairs of us. One was teleported to Las Vegas and the other two weren't.

Brian: You're kidding. That's unbelievable.

Stewie: I know, it Wait. Where's the other me?

Brian: Oh, um?

Glory: Uh, What?

Stewie: Where is the Stewie you two came with?

Brian: Oh, well, th-these thugs came to shoot you, and I tried to throw myself in front of the bullet, but it must have gone, like, under my armpit or something 'cause it-it exploded your face.

Glory: Yeah w-we tried our best to save you, but at least now we know that you're ok. Wait, what about the other me and Brian?

Stewie: Oh, it was so sad. You took your own lives. I tried like hell to talk you out of it, but you both jumped off a balcony. People keep coming back every hour because they think it's a regular show, like-like the volcano or the pirate ship thing.

Brian: Wow. Well, we're so glad you're alive.

Stewie: Yeah, same with you. Well, we should probably head home.

Glory: Definitely. I don't think I can take much more of Vegas.

Brian: Um, uh, the only thing is, I'm a little short. Is there any chance you could cover us for the tickets?

Stewie: Oh, let me see how much I have.

He snuck the backpack of money behind him and checked.

Stewie: Good news! I have just enough.

Man: Now departing for Providence.

Stewie: Hey, did you guys see O?

Glory: Nah, that seemed lame.

Brian: Yeah totally.

Stewie: You know, the other Brian and Glory were a lot more fun.

Brian: Which one is O? Is that the-the swimming one?

Stewie: Don't-don't try to demean it. How does it feel to be the least cultured people at a bus station?

(Heaven)

Stewie 2: Hey.

Brian 2 and Glory 2: Hey. 


	8. Road to India

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays until it sounds like music from India.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows a map of India that says "Road to India"

The third pic I can't explain. I have no idea. If anyone knows, PM me later on.

The fourth shows Brian rowing a boat while Stewie and Glory relax.

The fifth shows Stewie as Sadhu meditating on a stump.

The sixth shows the trio in Life of Pi. In a boat, they watched a shark in the water and Brian's a tiger.

The seventh shows them on toilets while eating spicy foods.

The eighth shows them taking a rickshaw ride. Brian riding while Stewie and Glory rode in the back.

The ninth shows them playing in garbage in the ocean.

The tenth shows them riding on Elephants.

The eleventh shows Stewie as Saraswati and Brian as Brahma.

The twelveth shows Brian and Glory as soldiers running away from Stewie as a baby Gandhi.

And the final one shows the trio fighting each other like Dhalsim from Street Fighter.

Our story begins with Brian on the couch and Stewie on the living room floor playing with blocks, and that's when Glory walked in.

Glory: Hey Brian. What are you doing?

Brian: I'm on hold with tech support. My computer locked up right in the middle of this story I'm working on.

Stewie: God, even Microsoft Word hates your writing.

Glory: Yeah, like that time those kids hated your juggling.

**(Flashback)**

Brian was at a kids birthday party getting ready to juggle.

Brian: Hey kids, I'm Brian the Clown here for your awesome birthday party.

Brian was juggling the balls badly.

Kids: BOOOOOO! BOOOOOO!

**(Reality)**

Padma: Thank you for holding. How can I help you?

Brian: Well, for starters, you can keep talking with that lovely accent.

Glory: Here we go again.

She said rolling her eyes.

Stewie: Amazing. One second of a stranger's voice on a phone and you've got full Bollywood. I-I assume she's in India.

Padma: Your friend is correct. I am in India. But you sound like a perfect gentleman to me. My name is Padma.

Brian: Padma. That was my mother's name.

Glory and Stewie: (Sigh)

Glory: Oh God.

Stewie: That's it. I'm gonna get an English muffin. (Exit)

Glory: Wait up, Stewie. I'll like one too. (Exit)

Padma: So what seems to be the problem?

Brian: Well, one problem I have is that I have too much money. (Chuckle)

Padma: Then why don't you just buy a new computer?

Brian: What? I-I...

Padma: (Chuckle) Oh, I'm just bursting your balls.

Brian: (Laugh) Oh! Well, you're a feisty one. (Chuckle) Uh, actually, my computer froze right in the middle of a story I'm writing.

Padma: Oh, you are a writer? Are you famous?

Brian: By choice, no. No. Sometimes fame brings a lot of unwanted attention. I mean, look at William Shakespeare.

**(Past)**

Worker: William Shakespeare.

William: Aye.

Worker: Nice collar, you fruit.

That was a little harsh.

William: Thank ye.

Man: Hey Shakespeare. What's the title of your next play? You should call it Homosexual Collar Guy.

William: Ah, thy japes and jabs cut me to the quick, squire.

Man: What does that even mean?

Homeless Guy: I know. It means, "I use this collar as a bib for when I service guys."

William: Thank ye, thank ye.

William entered a place called "Ye Olde Super Fruity Collars"

Man: So, how'd you like the collar?

William: 'Tis not for me.

**(Griffin House)**

Lois went to answer the door.

Lois: Huh, there's no one there. Must have been some kids knocking.

Joe: Down here, Lois.

Lois: Oh, for God's sake, Joe. Can't you put a tall flag on the back of your chair or something?

Joe: I apologize for the difficulty my paralysis causes you.

He entered the house to see Peter.

Joe: Hey, Peter. Good news. Bonnie's out of town, so I have an extra ticket for Tuesday night bingo down at the Allendale Mill.

Peter: Why the hell would I want to go to bingo?

Joe: Oh, it's a blast. There's the thrill of the game, people bring snacks, plus you'll hear some pretty unfiltered opinions about those jokers in Washington.

Peter: Yeah, that sounds perfectly terrible.

Lois: You know what, Joe? Peter would love to go with you.

Peter: What?!

Joe: Terrific. I'll pick you up at six. (Exit)

Peter: What'd you do that for?!

Lois: Peter, he's your friend. Who knows? It might be fun.

Peter: (Sigh) Alright, I'll go. But I'm not happy. You know how much I hate being told what to do.

**(Flashback)**

At a restaurant restroom, Peter exited the bathroom without washing his hands after giving the middle finger to a sign that says "Employees Must Wash Hands".

**(Kitchen)**

Brian: You know Padma, I love Indian food. But I'd have to say my least favorite curry is Ann. (Chuckle) She's-she's a newscaster here. I-I wish I could have slipped that in earlier.

Padma: Oh no, I know her. She's internationally despised. So, are you done rebooting?

Glory: (Enters) Hey Brian.

Glory opens the fridge to get something to eat or drink.

Brian: Look, (Sigh) I have to come clean Padma.

Glory: Oh my God.

She opened a can of Soda to drink it.

Brian: Um, my computer wasn't actually broken this time. I just wanted to talk to you again.

Padma: I like talking to you too Brian.

Stewie: (Enters) Oh, hey Glory. What's goin' on here?

Glory: Brian's talkin' to that girl Padma from tech support again.

Stewie: Oh, is that so?! Well since she's on the phone, ask her a question for me Brian. How come over there they just talk on the phone, and over here they're all doctors?

Brian: Get out of here. Lois said you're supposed to sit on the potty for one hour straight.

Stewie: I'm takin' a break. I got bored. And you've been on the phone with that girl for more than an hour.

Glory: Stewie's got a point ya know.

Brian: I'm sorry Padma. Give me a sec. Look guys, I know it's crazy, but I honestly feel a connection to this woman. More than I have to anyone in a long time.

Glory: That's what you've said about every girl you ever dated Brian, and they all broke up with you. It's just gonna happen again.

Stewie: She's right Brian, think about it. You and Padma are from two different worlds. She's in India. That's a lot to overcome.

Brian: People in love can overcome anything.

Stewie: I guess you're right. I mean, look at Jeb Bush and his wife.

**(Flashback)**

Jeb: Honey, do you think I'll ever be president?

Consuela: No, no, no.

**(Reality)**

Brian: Stewie!

Stewie: What? It's just a joke.

Brian: Yeah, but come on.

Stewie: Look it up, man. Google her.

Brian: I know what she looks like.

**(Bingo)**

Old Woman: Oh, I see you came with the Big Cheese.

Peter: What? You? You're the Big Cheese?

Joe: I usually bring a variety wheel of Laughing Cow cheese. (Laugh) Laughing Cow! That's got to be a happy farm, right?

Everybody at the table laughed.

Old Woman: Oh, you just must be cracking up all the time hanging out with this one.

Peter: Look, ma'am, I don't know what signals Joe is sending out, but I'm married.

Caller: G-49.

Joe: Hey, and you're already on the board. You're a natural at this. Oh, and fair warning, when they call O-69, I say, "Oh, my! Ooh-la-la! (Laugh)

Peter: Yeah, really funny Joe. Or-or how about this one? "Oh my God, I want to kill myself right now. (Breathes in and out) Alright, I gotta get through this. I'm just gonna go to my happy place. Go to your happy place, Peter.

In his mind, Peter imagined Tom Brady ironing.

Peter: Oh, and you're wearing the necklace I gave you.

Okay, that's enough of Peter's happy place.

Joe: Well, if I were you, I'd sure be excited. You're only one number away from having a bingo.

Peter: I am? Wait, you mean if they call-

Caller: O-74.

Peter: (Gasp) BINGOOO!

The entire place applaud for Peter's victory.

Peter: You were right, Joe, this is awesome. I've never won anything. Well, except for when I won that "Tori Spelling Bee.

**(Flashback)**

Judge: Peter, your word is equine.

Announcer: Peter reached this round by accurately spelling collagen, repulsive, and botched.

**(Griffin House)**

Brian: God, I can't believe you're still at work, Padma. It's like 2:00 in the morning.

Padma: No, it is noon here. Do you not know about time zones?

Brian: Oh, uh, yeah, oh, that's right. You guys are on metric.

Peter came in with his laptop and in his underwear.

Peter: Oh, you're in here?

Brian: Yeah, I'm on the phone.

Peter: Is, uh, is Chris down in the laundry room?

Brian: Yeah, I think so.

Peter: (Sigh) Okay, looks like this is gonna be a stander-upper in the garage.

He noticed his computer's almost out of power.

Peter: Uh-oh, six percent. Better hustle. (Exit)

Padma: It's so nice to talk to you, Brian. You make me feel wonderful.

Brian: God, if only you weren't so far away. I wish I could just somehow magically appear there and meet you in person.

Padma: Oh, Brian, that would be like a dream. Okay, I should go. I have 11,000 people on hold.

Brian: Good-bye, Padma. (Hangs up)

Glory and Stewie entered looking tired.

Stewie: (Yawn) What the hell's going on here?

Brian: What do ya mean?

Glory: We heard somebody screaming in the garage.

Brian: Oh, that was just Peter.

Stewie: Let me guess. Is the fat man 'working'?

Brian: Yeah.

Glory: Let's not talk about that again. Well, since we're here, why are you still up Brian?

Brian: Because I'm in love.

Stewie: Oh, with that Indian chick? What was her name? Dot?

Glory: Nah wait, I think it's Fot.

Brian: No guys, it's Padma. And I have to be with her. And to do that, I'm going to India.

Glory: (Gasp) Wait, what?!

Stewie: Oh my God, I'm going with you. My yoga class will be so jealous.

**(Yoga Class)**

Stewie: Hey, everyone, the guy I told you about, Brian, he's taking me to India!

The entire class and Stewie were squealing about the good news.

**(India)**

While Indian music was playing in the background, Stewie, Brian, and Glory were on a plane to India where it landed at the Indira Gandhi International Airport.

Glory: I can't believe we finally made it to India.

Stewie: I know. This is so exciting.

They approached a man with no pupil in his left eye.

Stewie: Excuse me, man with no pupil, where can we get a taxicab around here?

He pointed to the direction where they need to go.

Brian: Alright, let's do it guys. Let's go find Padma.

Stewie: Shouldn't be hard in this dreamy land of wonder. I can already smell the enlightenment and tranquility.

After exiting the airport, Stewie inhales the scent of India that's not so good.

Stewie: (Cough)

He covers his nose with a hankie to ignore the smell.

Glory: This is horrible. This is not how I imagined it at all.

Stewie: Come on Glory. This is wonderful. It's so tranquil, I'm tearing up. Now come on, I think I see a cab with less than nine people in it.

**(Bingo)**

Peter: Alright, it's winning time. Let's get this show on the road. After all, it's not called "bing-stop," it's called "bing-go!"

The entire table laughed.

Old Man: That's very clever.

Joe: Yeah, and, uh uh, maybe if I win, I'll yell, "bing-Joe."

Old Man: Don't force it Joe.

Peter: Yeah, be quiet Joe. Me and the gang are trying to hear our numbers.

Joe: "You" and the gang? I'm the one who brought you here.

Peter: Yeah, well you know something? The Mayflower also brought fungus, which then became the Potato Famine.

Joe: What the hell are you talking about?

Peter: I don't know, I've had like four Ensures. I'm out of my mind.

Joe: Peter, I brought you here to have fun, not take over.

Peter: Look, Joe, I'm a little busy right now, so I'm gonna have the Somali Pirate from Captain Phillips tell you something.

Somali Pirate: Joe, look at me. Look at me. He is the bingo captain now.

That made Joe sad.

**(India)**

Stewie: I tell you, I love it here Glory. The sounds, the colors. You know, this is where the Beatles came to ruin their music.

Glory: Ain't that the truth. But now that you've mentioned it, besides the awful smell and the large crowds, this country isn't so bad. Don't you agree Brian?

Brian: Yeah, yeah, that's great. Anyway, Padma works in Bangalore, so we got to hurry and catch the train.

Stewie: (Sigh) Still can't believe we're really in India. Oh, look over there. There's cute little kids are playing Cowboys and Indians and Indians.

Kid 1: I'm gonna shoot you with my six-gun.

Kid 2: I'm gonna shoot you with my bow and arrow.

Kid 3: I'm just going to stand here wearing a shirt that appears to be a jacket.

And so, the trio hopped off a train after traveling in it.

Stewie: Hey Glory, do you think all those chickens had to buy tickets?

Glory: I don't know, all I know is that I'm starving.

Brian: Oh, you and me both. What I wouldn't give right now for a big juicy steak.

Four indian guys surrounded the trio.

Indian 1: How dare you? To us, cows are sacred!

Indian 2: That's right, you are disrespecting our entire culture.

Indian 3: And why did Wes Anderson come here to make his worst movie?

Brian: Stewie, what do we do?

Stewie: Quick, hit the red buttons!

The trio pushed the red dots on the indian's foreheads and they shut down like robots.

Glory: Did that just happened?

Stewie: Sure did.

Brian: Wow, that came in pretty handy.

Stewie: Yeah.

Brian and Glory: Now let's get outta here.

Stewie: Now let's see what their wieners look like.

Glory: Wait, what?

Stewie: N-Nothing. Nothing. Let's get out of here.

**(Griffin House)**

Peter: Okay, I'm off to bingo.

Lois: Peter, what are you wearing?

Peter: Oh, you mean my bingo cape?

Lois: That's our holiday tablecloth.

Peter: I'm sorry Lois, but my people have come to expect a certain degree of pageantry. Don't wait up. We may go to Denny's.

Lois: Is Joe going with you?

Peter: Oh, "Crybaby Joe"? Nah, he doesn't come anymore. I think he resents my skill.

Lois: Peter, bingo was Joe's favorite thing. Now, you go over there and take him with you, or I don't want you going at all.

Peter: Hey, hey, hey, don't try to take this away from me. This is the only thing I've ever been good at. Well, this and timing my farts to a thunderstorm.

**(Flashback)**

Man: Why don't we all go ahead and turn to page six in the handout?

Thunder crashed as Peter farted.

Peter: Ah.

Man: The first thing you're gonna notice is a bar graph. And what that is is to indicate our international sales-

Peter timed that fart exactly when the thunder crashed again.

Man: -which peaked, of course,

Peter: Aw yeah.

Man: -during the last quarter. But now we're expecting that to drop off as we enter the colder weather.

Peter farted a little too early before the thunder crashed. Now everyone at the meeting was pissed.

Peter: Um, the storm's moving away.

**(Bangalore)**

The trio just got off the bus.

Brian: We made it! This is where Padma works!

Stewie: I feel like I owe every bus in America an apology.

While inside the building where Padma works, our trio exited the elevator.

Stewie: So, we haven't discussed what you're going to do if she's a pig.

Glory: Yeah. What're you gonna do Brian? Run away from your ugly girlfriend?

Those two laughed at Brian.

Brian: Hey shut up. Padma's already beautiful to me. And..you know, we'll see.

An employee scanned his access card and entered the Call Center room without knowing that the trio ran inside as well. There were lots of people working in one room.

Glory: Damn, there's a lot of people here.

Stewie: Yes, how are we gonna find her?

Brian: Don't worry, I thought of that.

Brian called Padma on his Cell Phone.

Padma: Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?

Brian: I'll tell you how. Stand on your desk.

Padma: Brian?

Brian: Padma, just do it.

A large woman stood on her desk.

Stewie: Oh boy.

Glory: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Brian: Are you Padma?

Ranita: No. I am Ranita. There is a python in my cube.

She moved out of the way and behind her was Padma; a thinner, beautiful woman.

Padma: Brian?

Brian: Padma!

Padma was so excited, she ran to Brian.

Padma: I can't believe this! Why are you here?

Brian: Because I was having a technical issue with my heart.

Stewie: Ugh! 16 hours on a plane, and that's what you came up with?

Padma: I am touched you came all this way to see me.

Brian: I'm so glad I did. You're even more beautiful than I imagined.

The two lovebirds hugged each other.

Stewie: Well, I have to admit. You two do make a cute couple.

Glory: So did Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow. Well, until their wedding day.

**(Wedding)**

Reverend: Do you take this woman to lecture you about trans fats for as long as you both shall live?

Chris: I do.

Reverend: And do you take this man to be a watered-down Bono until death do you part?

Gwyneth: I do.

Reverend: I now pronounce you pretentious and terrible. You may name your daughter after a fruit.

**(India)**

The trio and Padma were walking around town.

Padma: So, this is my town. I have lived here my whole life.

Brian: Well if you were born here, then it must be a magical place.

Stewie: Yes, let's go get sandwiches at that New Delhi I keep hearing about.

Some elephant played two rimshots on the drums.

Stewie: Thanks, Ganesha.

Padma: I am so happy that you are here. In fact, my family is having a big party tonight. You must all come as my guests.

Stewie: Oh, an Indian party! I hope they play that one song with the shrieking, nasal, atonal woman over the bongos and tambourines.

**(Party)**

A woman was singing atonally and the trio arrived in indian clothes.

Glory: You okay Brian? You seem nervous. Are you worried about meeting Padma's family?

Brian: Yeah. Well that, and this is always what it looks like on Homeland right before there's a drone strike.

Padma: Oh my, you three look so elegant.

Brian: Thanks, I did a little shopping today.

Stewie: Not me. Mine is actually an Aladdin costume from last Halloween. I never travel without it.

Glory: Speaking of Aladdin, I'm dressed as jasmine. My boyfriend Akihiko is so gonna wanna make out with me after seeing me in this.

Padma's father was dinging glass with a spoon.

Father: Family, guests, and monkeys who have wandered in to steal fruit, it is my honor to welcome you to this engagement celebration.

Brian: Oh, "engagement"? So who's getting married?

Padma: I am.

Brian: What?!

Father: Padma, my beloved daughter. Dhiraj, my future son-in-law. Please come and meet one another.

Glory: Ouch. That's gotta hurt, huh Brian?

Stewie: Quite a Punjab to the figs. Where's the bar? (Exit)

Glory: Over there. I'll come with. (Exit)

Padma took the microphone to speak.

Padma: Everyone, you are all so kind to come tonight, and it is so nice to meet you, Dhiraj. But something happened today, and I can no longer marry you.

Father: Padma, what is it?

Padma: My true love is here tonight. He has come to me all the way from America. His name is Brian Griffin. And my heart belongs to him.

Family: (Gasp)

All eyes were on Brian; angry eyes.

Monkey: Quick, everyone's looking at the dog! Go, go, go!

The four monkeys stole the fruit table and left.

Father: Padma, you cannot call off the wedding. I have already paid a large dowry to Dhiraj's family.

Padma: But it would be wrong to marry someone I do not love. The one I love is Brian.

Brian: Sir, what if I were to repay you for all you've spent? Would Padma then be free to marry whoever she wanted?

Padma: (Gasp) Brian, you would do that?

Brian: Yes. I love you Padma, and-and I'd do anything to be with you.

Father: I suppose that might be possible.

Brian: Great. Just give me a chance to raise the money so I can marry your daughter and make her happy.

Father: Oh, so you don't have the money?

Stewie: He's holding onto an Applebee's gift card with $1.62 on it.

Father: I do not know Applebee's. Is it like our Colonel Chutney's?

Stewie: Does Colonel Chutney's make you sick?

Father: Not every time.

Stewie: Then no. It's very different.

**(Bingo)**

Peter: I mean, my wife and I have never said the words "open marriage," but-

Lois and Joe arrived.

Peter: Oh hey Lois.

Lois: Peter, it's time to come home and give Joe back his stupid little activity.

Joe: I appreciate that Lois.

Peter: First of all, this is my favorite thing in the world now, so no. And second of all, we're about to play a new round, so start taking your pants off, 'cause when I win, I want you ready.

Lois: Peter, if it wasn't for Joe, you wouldn't know about bingo anyway. This meant everything to him, and you've taken it away. As a friend, do the right thing and give Joe back the happiness he found here.

Sad music played in the background.

Peter: Joe, gag on my fat dauber.

Peter shoved his dauber in Joe's mouth.

Lois: Damn it, I didn't want to have to do this, but you've left me no choice. Kids, get in here.

Chris and Meg ran in.

Chris: Yay, time with Dad.

Meg: That's a bingo for me.

Meg and Chris were all over Peter.

Meg: Alright, how do you play?

Chris: Free space?! Wow! What's that about?!

Meg: I call sitting next to Dad.

Peter: (Sigh) Alright, forget this. Let's all go home and each do our own individual media things.

**(India)**

The trio was trying to make money for removing tapeworms.

Brian: Guys, I don't think this is gonna work. We're never gonna raise enough money to pay back Padma's father.

Stewie: Trust us Brian, there are a billion people here, and almost every one of them has a tapeworm.

Glory: Yeah in fact, here comes a customer.

Indian: Yes, excuse me, I have a tapeworm.

Stewie: Alright, very good. Lie down on your stomach. This won't hurt a bit.

The man pulled his pants down and lied down on his stomach. Stewie and Glory played Pungi's to hypnotize the Tapeworm and it came out.

Tapeworm: Hey, how are you guys?

Glory: Hey, your a lady!

Brian: And you sound American. How long have you been in there?

Tapeworm: I originally just came for my junior year, but I fell in love with the place. (Exit)

Brian: Guys, there's no way I'm sitting here all day watching tapeworms come out of butts. I'm doomed. I'll never be able to pay for Padma's dowry.

Stewie: I don't understand. In movies, everything in India always turns out great. Julia Roberts ate or loved or prayed or something. I don't know. I didn't see it.

Glory: I did. I think it sucked.

Brian: Wait a minute! Movies about India. I know how I can make the money!

**(Game Show)**

Announcer: Who wants to be a millionaire?

Everyone applaud.

Host: Our next contestant comes all the way from America! Brian Griffin! What brings you to India, Brian?

Brian: I'll tell you what brought me. True love.

Stewie: He's breaking up a marriage!

Glory: You suck for doing that. Boo!

Host: Alright, let's get started. First question. Which retired Indian cricketer has scored over 18,000 runs in ODI competition?

Brian: Um, O? Wha? O-ODI? What?

Host: Is it A) Anil Kumble, B) Mahendra Singh Dhoni, C) Sachin Tendulkar, or D) Jiminy Cricket?

Brian: Well, I know, I know it's not Jiminy Cricket. Unless Jiminy's based on a real person.

Host: I need an answer.

Brian: You know, the more I say it, the more it does sound Indian. (Indian accent) Jiminy Cricket. D) Jiminy Cricket, final answer.

Host: I'm sorry, that is incorrect. Thank you for playing! We'll be right back after this message from the Indian Census Bureau.

Indian Man: Too many people! Stop with the people!

Brian was ashamed and sad.

Brian: Padma, I'm sorry. I still haven't raised the money. But I'm working on it.

Padma: There is no longer a need. My father has solved the problem by promising Dhiraj the hand of my younger sister.

Stewie: Oh Padma, I meant to ask you something. Are there like Bengal tigers just running loose in the cities?

Padma: I don't know. In America, are there annoying talking babies always interrupting?

Stewie: Okay, it's been a long trip. Let's not say anything we're gonna regret.

Glory: Come on Stewie. Let's leave these two to talk. (Exit)

Stewie: (Sigh) Fine. (Exit)

Brian: Wait a minute. So if Dhiraj is marrying your sister, that means we can be together!

Padma: Actually, about that. I think watching you try to answer that question out there, I realized something. You know nothing of my country or my culture.

Brian: Well, tha-that was a really tough question.

Padma: No, it wasn't. Everyone in India knows who Sachin Tendulkar is. Brian, I am deeply touched that you came all this way to find me, but the truth is you and I have very little in common.

Brian: Well, I could learn. I mean there's got to be an old Carmen Sandiego episode on India or something.

Stewie: Brian, Brian, punt, punt.

Padma: I know you would try Brian. But when I look inside myself, I realize I don't want to marry you. Mostly, I just did not want to marry Dhiraj. I am so sorry. Have I answered all of your questions to your satisfaction?

Brian: (Angry) No! I came halfway around the world for you. You said I was your true love.

Padma: Well, by coming here, you saved me from a lifetime of unhappiness. And I will always love you for that. Good-bye Brian.

She kissed Brian and left. Glory came in to comfort Brian.

Glory: I'm sorry it didn't gone as you planned Brian.

Brian: Eh, it's alright Glory. Guess it wasn't meant to be.

Stewie: (Enter) A peck on the cheek? Was that worth an $8,000 coach ticket?

Brian: You know what? It's about the journey, not the destination.

Stewie: No, it's not. This sucked and you failed.

Host: Story over! Bollywood!

The entire stage turned into an Indian-themed stage where the Indian audience, Padma and her family, the Griffin family, Joe, and other characters was singing and dancing a closing musical number in Indian clothing.

Everyone: _"When you least expect you'll find magic in your life"_

Brian: What the? What the hell is this?

Stewie: Oh, in India, it's traditional to do a final musical curtain call over the end credits.

Glory: Eh, I'm into it.

Glory magically got into her Jasmine costume again, but Stewie was in an outfit for a woman.

Everyone: _"Brian came so far, but he never found a wife" "Ho-ho" "Big show" "Ho-ho" "Time to go"_

Brian: This is kind of weird.

Stewie: Come on Brian, just surrender to it.

Glory: Yeah, enjoy the fun.

Peter: Hey, I was in the episode, too! _"Bing-go!"_

Joe: _"And I'm Joe"_

Somali Pirate: Joe is the captain again!

Brian: Alright, I'll give it a shot.

Brian magically got into an Indian outfit.

Brian: _"Well, I came across the world for a very special girl."_ Um.

Brian couldn't think of any more words to sings.

Brian: Uh?! _"Wrapped in plastic." "It's fantastic"_

Everyone booed at Brian as they walked off stage.

Glory: Wrong song, Brian.

Stewie: Yeah. Way to ruin the song ya douche.

Padma: And to think I use to like you.

Peter: Somebody get my agent on the phone.

Brian was all alone on stage.

Brian: AW (Bleep) ME!


	9. Road to Equestria

While Twilight Sparkle is learning a new spell from a spell book, Pinkie Pie is jumping happily on a trampoline.

Pinkie Pie: Ahh! I... can't... believe... the Grand... Galloping... Gala... is... tonight!

Twilight was getting a little annoyed.

Twilight: Pinkie! Please stop shouting, I'm trying to concentrate.

Coming out of her home was Rarity, who notice Pinkie Pie's excitement.

Rarity: Pinkie Pie! Stop that right now. It's time to prepare for the Gala, and I refuse to let you put on your new dress when you're all sweaty.

Disappointed, Pinkie hopped off the trampoline and landed next to Spike.

Pinkie Pie: What's Twilight doing?

Spike: She's got an awesome magic spell she's been working on for the Gala.

Rarity: Where are the others? It's getting late.

The remaining ponies arrived: Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy.

Applejack: Hold your horses, girl. We're here.

With her glowing horn, Twilight closed the book.

Twilight: Perfect! I'm ready.

Rainbow Dash: For what?

Twilight: Alright Spike.

Spike placed an Apple on the ground.

Pinkie Pie: An apple! Are we having pie?

Spike: Shh! Watch!

Twilight's horn began to glow with a pink aura and her eyes were closed. She focused her magic on the Apple and transformed it into a carriage.

Rainbow Dash: Awesome!

Pinkie Pie: Wow!

Rarity: Lovely!

Twilight: Thanks. But that's just the start. Fluttershy, did you bring your friends?

Four mice appeared on Fluttershy's head.

Fluttershy: Yes. Will they be safe, Twilight?

Twilight: You have my word.

Twilight closes her eyes, her horn glowed again, and she focused her magic on the mice and turned them into horses to pull the carriage.

Twilight: Ta-da!

Her friends were speechless when they saw the horses with whiskers.

Twilight: Neat, huh? And don't worry. They'll be mice again at midnight.

Rarity's cat, Opal, jumped to the horses.

Fluttershy: Opalescence, no!

Opal grabbed onto one of the mouse-horses and they galloped away neighing.

Twilight: Wait! Come back! Those horses were supposed to pull our carriage. How will we get to the Gala?

Rarity: What ever shall we do?

Rarity went up to two of her stallion neighbors, Caramel and Lucky Clover.

Rarity: Uh... ahem. Excuse me. Uh, would you boys mind pulling our carriage to the Gala?

With some eyelash batting, Rarity convinced them to pull the carriage.

Twilight: Oh. Yeah. Right.

A mix of Jazzy Family Guy Music, the Family Guy theme song, and the MLP FIM theme song played in the background.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows the screen that says "Road to Equestria"

_"Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh..."_

The third shows Spike and Stewie playing tag and laughing.

_"It seems today...that all you see...is violence in Movies..."_

The fourth shows Brian at the Gala drunk and dancing in front of everypony.

_"...and sex on TV." "But where are those good old fashioned values?"_

The fifth shows Glory and Applejack picking apples.

_"On which we used to relyahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh..." "My Little Pony"_

The sixth shows the trio screaming because they see their reflections in a mirror as ponies.

_"I used to wonder what friendship could be" "My Little Pony"_

The seventh shows the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their clubhouse putting make-up on Stewie. Stewie is so pissed.

_"Until you all shared its magic with me" "Lucky there's a Family Guy."_

The eighth shows the Mane Six, Spike, and the trio as Bowling Pins and Discord rolling a Bowling Ball at them.

_"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us..."_

The ninth shows Brian running from Rarity as she zapped him with her Magic.

_"Laugh and Cry!" "Big adventure" "Tons of fun" "A beautiful heart"_

The tenth shows the trio playing in a bounce house with the crusaders.

_"Faithful and strong" "Sharing kindness!" "It's an easy feat" "And magic..."_

The eleventh shows ponies running away from Stewie with a zap gun.

_"...makes it all complete. You have my little ponies" "He's...a..."_

The twelfth shows the trio, Spike, the Crusaders, and the Mane Six in a huge knot while playing Twister.

_"Fam...ily..." "Do you know you're all my very best..."_

The thirteenth shows Brian running away from Celestia and Luna as they zap him.

_"Guuuuuuy/frieeeeeends"_

And the final one shows the Mane Six, Spike, and the trio on stage smiling and taking a bow.

**(Stewie's Room)**

Stewie was sitting on the floor tinkering with his Multiverse remote.

Glory: (Enter) Oh, hey Stewie. What cha doooin'?

Stewie: Ugh! Don't.. ever say it like that again. God, you sound like Isabella from Phineas and Ferb.

Glory: Heh, sorry bro.

Stewie: Alright then. Well if you must know my dear Glory, I'm busy fixing the Multiverse remote that my counterpart gave to me back in the dog dimension. Apparently, it has a few bugs in it.

Glory: That bad huh. Ya mean it has broken wires and stuff?

Stewie: Nope, I mean it literally has a few bugs in it.

He shook the device and a few bugs came out: Dead Roaches, dead ants, even a dead spider.

Glory: Ew. Well, just be careful with it okay. I still remember the craziest time one of your experiments went wrong.

**(Flashback)**

Stewie: And now to test my teleportation pods.

He got in a pod and the door closed. He then noticed that Rupert was in the same pod as him.

Stewie: (Gasp) OH DAMN!

Stewie tried to get out, but it was too late. They transported to the other pod and Stewie came out half human and half stuffed.

Stewie: AWWWUUUGHHH! I'M A MONSTEEEEERRRR!

**(Reality)**

Stewie: I-I-I can't put my finger on it, but somehow I was kinda turned on after that accident.

He put his skrewdriver down.

Stewie: There, all done.

Stewie put on his blue backpack.

Stewie: Come on Glory, my belly is hungry for a peanut butter sandwich. (Exit)

Glory: Yeah, mine too. (Exit)

Minutes later, Brian knocked on Stewie's Door.

Brian: Stewie? You in here? Eh, guess not.

He walked in and noticed the remote on the floor.

Brian: Oh. It's you again.

He picked the device up.

Brian: Hmm! Wonder if I can go back to the dog universe with this thing.

He started pushing a few buttons.

Stewie: (Enter) Ugh! That's the last time I'm eating a sandwich with the fat man in the room, Glory.

Glory: Why was he even putting ice cream down his pants?

Stewie: Something about making him go super fast. I dunno. The fat man's a bigger idiot than... Brian?

Brian: Uh-Uh hey guys. W-What's goin' on?

Stewie: What goin' on is you playing with my device again. Now give it here.

He jumped up to get the device, but Brian held it higher.

Brian: Come on Stewie. I just wanna see the dog universe again.

Stewie: Well, I'm not done fixing it yet. Now give it.

The two struggled fighting over the remote.

Glory: Ugh! Come on guys.

Glory took the remote from Brian.

Glory: That's enough you two! You're acting like idiots.

Stewie: Who the Hell do you think you are? That's my device damn it.

He jumped on Glory's head to get his device.

Glory: What...the Hell are you doing, Stewie? I'm on your side.

Stewie: Do you think I'm stupid? Hm? I know you want to go to that famous universe where everybody loves you.

Glory motioned her eyes side to side knowing that Stewie was right.

Glory: So?

Now Glory and Stewie were struggling and grunting while fighting over the remote.

Brian: Hey, give it here. It's mine.

Brian jumped to the two and all three of them were struggling and groaning. They all had their hands on it.

Brian: Let go of it, Stewie.

Stewie: Glory lets go first.

Glory: No. Everybody loves me. You let go.

Stewie: Like Hell I will.

Glory: You too, Stewie. I was actually talking to Snoopy right here.

Brian: Don't EVER compare me to that Joe Cool bastard.

Now they were all fighting, grunting, throwing punches, and even pushed the buttons on the device hard. After the struggle, the three separated with the device in the middle of the room. They stared at each other and all three of them jumped in the air.

Brian: It's mine.

Stewie: Go to Hell.

Glory: Let go.

They landed onto the device at the same time. They're in one big pile as the remote slid to Stewie's time machine after the impact. Once in contact, the device and the time machine had white static auras around them. The trio were speechless and stared at what's happening in front of them with big eyes. The time machine shook like crazy as its door opened. And in it was a huge ball of static white light.

Stewie: Oh!

Brian: My!

Glory: God!

They quickly stood up as the huge ball of light shot out of the machine and headed towards them fast.

Stewie, Brian, and Glory: AAAAAAUUUGHHHHH!

It caught all three of them inside and then in a huge explosion, it disappeared along with the trio and Stewie's Multiverse remote. Lucky for them, the explosion didn't do any damage to the house; especially Stewie's room.

**(Equestria)**

Back in Equestria, the ponies were freshening up and Pinkie Pie was playing with a huge hair dryer that blew her away. Spike, on the other hand, was outside the door.

Spike: (Knock) (Knock) (Knock) Come on, you guys. Let me in!

Rainbow Dash: Sure thing, Spike.

Rarity rushed in front of the door.

Rarity: Heavens no! We're getting dressed.

Applejack: Dressed? Uh, beg pardon, Rarity, but, uh... we don't normally wear clothes.

Rarity: (Moan)

Her horn glowed blue and her magic opened the door.

Rarity: I'm sorry, Spike. Some of us do have standards.

Spike: I still can't believe we're gonna be at Canterlot tonight. Our home town, Twilight! And the best part is that we all get to hang out together all night long!

Rainbow Dash: Uh... I-I don't know, Spike.

Rarity put on a fake eyelash.

Rarity: We'll just have to see.

Applejack was spit shining Fluttershy's hooves.

Applejack: We're gonna be a mite busy.

And Pinkie Pie's hair was done and straight long.

Pinkie Pie: Busy having fun!

And then "boing". Her hair was poofy again.

Spike: Oh. Okay.

Twilight: Don't worry, Spike. We'll all get to spend some time together.

Spike: Great! I'll be back with a list of things we can do.

He ran out the door.

Rainbow Dash: (Sarcasm) Can't wait.

A mini second later after Spike closed the door, an explosion happened behind the door causing the six mares to scream.

Spike: Huh?!

Spike ran back into the room to see what's going on.

Spike: What happened?

The mares were coughing from all the smoke in the room. So they waved their hooves to clear the smoke.

Twilight: Everypony okay?

Applejack: Ah' am, Sugarcube.

Fluttershy: So am I.

Rainbow Dash: Uh, guys, might wanna come check this out.

The ponies and Spike ran to Dash and looked in awe at the unexpected arrival when the smoke cleared. Laying in front of them was a white dog, a human girl, and a football-headed baby with a blue backpack; and they were dizzy.

Trio: ~Uuuuuhhh~

Stewie: ~Glory, remind me to put my things in a very secret place~

Glory: ~No.. problem~

The trio started to get up off the floor.

Brian: Ugh! My head. You guys okay?

Glory: I'm fine now.

Stewie: Yes, I suppose we're... Oh!

The trio just stood there in front of the Equestrians.

Glory: Um, am I the only one seeing this?

Stewie: If you mean the horses and the dragon, then no.

Rarity: Actually, the proper term is ponies.

Trio: AAAUUUGHH!

Mane Six and Spike: AAAUUUGHH!

Trio: AAAUUUGHH!

Mane Six and Spike: AAAUUUGHH!

Stewie: HOLY CRAP, WE'RE IN A WORLD OF FEMALE TALKING BRIANS!

After seconds of calming down, they were all fully relaxed.

Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Who are you guys?

Glory walked up to the ponies.

Glory: Um, my name is Glory. And this is my baby brother Stewie, and this is our dog/friend Brian.

Brian: Uh, nice ta meet you, I guess.

Stewie: And who are all of you?

Twilight: Ahem. My name is Twilight Sparkle. And these are my friends. Applejack.

Applejack: Howdy.

Twilight: Rarity.

Rarity: Charmed.

Twilight: Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Um... Hi.

Twilight: Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie: Hiya!

Twilight: Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: What up?

Twilight: And my assistant, Spike.

Spike: Hi there.

The trio looked at each other with confusion.

Stewie: What kind of names are those? Did your parents hit their heads on retarded walls or something? Oh My God! I have a feeling this is going to suck worse than that time I went to Texas.

**(Flashback)**

While Stewie was stuck in a barrel, he watched two cows tongue kissing through a hole in the barrel.

Stewie: Heh, I should probably think about being a vegetarian.

**(Reality)**

The ponies and dragon looked around in confusion.

Applejack: Uh, what in the hay was that?

Glory: Oh, see in our world, we do Cutaway gags, or flashbacks if you prefer.

Twilight: You three are from another world!?

Stewie: Well, from the looks of things, talking multi-colored ponies and a talking dragon, I suppose we are in another dimension.

Twilight: Oh my gosh, I have so many questions I want to ask.

Brian: Listen Twilight, I'm sure we can answer your questions later, but first Stewie, how did we get here?

Rarity: I was wondering the same thing. How in Equestria did you three get here?

Stewie: Equestria? Eh, figures that what this place is called.

Stewie picked up his Multiverse remote off the floor.

Stewie: Hmm!? It seems, of course, my Multiverse device sends us to counterpart universes of our own.

Twilight: A Multiverse device?

Glory: Yeah, Stewie's a baby with a big brain. He has cool inventions. But we'll tell ya about that later. You were saying, Stewie?

Stewie: Right. It seems that when my remote came in contact with my time machine, my time machine absorbed enough energy and power to send us to a world outside our counterpart universes; including our own. My guess is that's how we got here.

Brian: Well, c-can you bring us back?

Stewie: I can, but I'm gonna need some time to fix the remote, and then we can use it and the return pad in my backpack to return home.

Glory: Why the return pad?

Stewie: Because part of the time machine sent us here too, Glory. So we need both inventions to go back.

Brian: And how long exactly do you think you can fix it?

Stewie: Well, if my calculations are correct, I'd say about a few hours. It'll most definitely be ready by tonight.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

Rainbow Dash: (Whisper) Great, another egghead.

Pinkie Pie: Hold on. You mean tonight? As in 'Tonight' tonight?

Stewie: Hehe. Hear that guys? Hot Chelle Rae song.

The trio had a little giggle.

Stewie: And yes tonight. Why do you ask?

Pinkie Pie: It's just too bad, 'cause yer all gonna miss out on the Grand Galloping Gala.

Stewie: The what now?

Glory: The Grand Galloping... Gala?

Brian: What's that?

Pinkie Pie: (Gasp) What is the Grand Galloping Gala you say?

With excitement, she started hopping around the trio and getting up in their faces.

Pinkie Pie: Why, it's the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically spectacular awesomest...

Rainbow Dash: Uh, I think they get it, Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Oh! (Giggle)

Stewie: (Thought) Thank God, someone finally got her to shut up.

Brian: (Thought) I can still hear your thoughts.

Stewie: (Thought) Damn you, you filthy mutt. Well at least Glory can't read my mind.

Glory: (Thought) Actually, I just learn last week.

Stewie: (Thought) BLAST!

Twilight: Ahem. Anyway, the Grand Galloping Gala is a royal ball where ponies come together.

Brian: A royal ball, huh. Sounds exciting.

Mane Six: (Smile) It is.

Fluttershy: We've never had a chance to go before, and tonight's the night.

Brian: Well I'm happy for all of you. Hey, is there any chance we can come too?

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I don't think there's a slightest possibility.

Glory: What? How come?

Applejack: Well, it's not because you three aren't ponies, it's just... you don't even have tickets to go.

Stewie: Well not to worry. I can solve this problem with this.

He pulled a bazooka looking weapon from his backpack.

Mane Six and Spike: AAUUUUGHH!

Glory stepped up in front of Stewie.

Glory: Whoa whoa whoa! What the Hell, Stewie? Killing them and stealing their tickets isn't the way.

Stewie: What? No way, I'm not gonna kill them. I'm just gonna duplicate one of their tickets so we can all go to the Gala.

Brian: Oh really!? Y-You remember the last time you used this thing?

**(Flashback)**

In his room, Stewie was polishing his weapon.

Stewie: Excellent. And now to test to see if it works.

He opened his window and aimed it for Cleveland's house. He fired a rocket and it destroyed Cleveland's house. All that's left is his family downstairs and Cleveland upstairs in a bathtub.

Cleveland: WHAT THE HELL!?

The tub was starting to slide down the edge.

Cleveland: No no no no NO NOOOO!

When he landed on the ground, the tub he was in broke.

Stewie: Eh, I'll give that landing a 1.5.

**(Reality)**

They looked around in confusion again.

Stewie: I'm, uh, I'm still paying off that bill, ya know, but n-never mind. Anyways, I single-handedly turned this ordinary bazooka into a duplication ray. With this device, I can instantly turn one ticket into four. So whose ticket shall I duplicate?

The ponies and dragon looked at Rarity; knowing that she represents the element of generosity.

Rarity: Oh, alright. I'll do it.

And so, she placed her ticket on the floor in front of Stewie.

Rarity: Are you sure my ticket will be okay, darling?

Stewie: (Smile) But of course. Eh, probably.

Rarity: (Gasp)

And so, Stewie aimed his ray gun at Rarity's ticket and fired. A pinkish medium sized beam from Stewie's device came in contact with the ticket. Rarity was so nervous, she started biting the tip of her hoof. Afterwards, Stewie stopped firing.

Stewie: There, all done.

When the smoke cleared, there were four tickets.

Mane Six and Spike: WHOOOAA!

Twilight: That was pretty neat, Stewie. I can't even do a duplication spell.

Stewie: Uh, actually it's more like technology th-than magic.

The trio and Rarity picked up their tickets.

Glory: Alright, we got our tickets. Now we're ready to go to the Gala.

Rarity: Hmm. I'm afraid not.

Glory: What do ya mean?

Rarity walked around the trio while getting a good look at them.

Rarity: I'm afraid you aren't even dressed properly for such an occasion. You three are going to need some proper clothes.

Stewie: But how? We didn't even bring any fancy get-ups with us. How're we suppose to...

Rarity gave them a devilish smile.

Stewie: Uh-oh.

Brian: I-I don't think I like where this is going.

Rarity: (Sing) Makeovers!

Glory: Holy crap. Run.

Just when they were about to run, Rarity pulled some kind of screen looking curtain over her and the trio.

Stewie: YYYAAHHHHH OWOW OW! WHAT THE (Bleep) GET OFF ME YOU CRAZY- OW!

Brian: STOP IT! OW! I MEAN IT. C-CUT IT OUT! AAAAWWUUUGH! KNOCK IT OFF! AAUUGH!

Glory: NOT THERE. NOT THER- OUCH! AUGH! UGH! STOP IT! OUCH!

Rarity showed up in front of the screen.

Rarity: Everypony, here's Stewie.

Stewie came from behind the curtain and he was wearing a tuxedo, black shoes, and a red bow tie.

Mane Six: AAAAAAAAWWWWWW!

Stewie: Don't AAWW at me. We've just been violated. Did you not here us screaming from back there? Hm? A-A-And nobody even bothered to freakin' help? Oh God it still hurts a lot. Ugh! Now I know how Peter feels that time when he fell down the stairs.

**(Flashback)**

Lois: Peter, dinner's ready.

Peter: Okay, Lois. I'm comin' dow- YYYAAHHHHH DAAUUGH! YAAGH YAAAAAAAUUGHG (Bleeeeep) (Bleeep) (Bleep) (Bleep) (Bleep) (Bleeep) (Bleep) (Bleeeeeeeep) (Bleep) (Bleep) DAMMIT I HATE THESE STAIRS.

**(Reality)**

Spike and the Mane Six except Rainbow and Pinkie looked around in confusion again. Instead, Rainbow and Pinkie fell to the floor laughing their butts off.

Rainbow Dash: Psst. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pinkie Pie: T-That w-was HeHAHAHAHA HILARIOUS HAHAHAHA!

Rainbow Dash: AAUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Twilight: Pinkie, Rainbow, it's not funny. He fell down the stairs.

Stewie: No Twilight, I-I-I'll let it slide this time. Besides, the fat man's an idiot anyway.

The two laughing ponies got up off the floor wiping tears out their eyes.

Rainbow Dash: Whew! That was a laugh.

Rarity: Ahem, moving on. Here's Brian.

When Brian came in front of everypony, he also wore a tuxedo, but with a black bow tie.

Mane Six: Oooohh!

Fluttershy: Wow! You look handsome, Brian. F-For.. um.. a dog.

Brian: Uh, thanks. Ya know what, I actually do look great.

Stewie: Save the bragging for your future train wreck girlfriends, Bri.

Rarity: And lastly, the glamorous Glory.

When Glory came out, she revealed to be wearing a sparkly ocean colored dress, white ribbons in her hair, and glass slippers.

Mane Six and Spike: WHOOOOAA!

Brian just stood there with a blank expression on his face.

Glory: So, what do ya think?

Stewie: I think you look beautiful, Glory.

Rarity: Glamorous.

Rainbow Dash: Totally awesome.

Pinkie Pie: Sparkly.

Stewie: What do you think, Bri? Bri?

Stewie walked up to the still Brian.

Stewie: (Snap) (Snap) Wake up.

Brian: Huh? What!? What?! Oh, uh, I-I think you look, you look fantastic, Glory.

Glory: (Blush) Aw, thanks Brian.

Brian: Uh, alright. Now that we're dressed fancy, let's all go to the Grand Galloping Gala!

Mane Six: And have the Best Night Ever!

Spike: Great!

The Trio and the Mane Six were riding in the carriage while Spike was riding outside while Caramel and Lucky Clover pulled the carriage.

Spike: I planned out my insider's tour of Canterlot. I've gotta show Rarity the crown jewels, and Applejack the Princess's golden apple tree. And Pinkie, we gotta go to my favorite donut shop.

The Mane Six and the Trio didn't hear a word Spike said. They were too busy getting to know one another.

Spike: Then let's get moving! Hyah!

Caramel: Excuse me!?

Spike: Um... I...

Lucky Clover: If you weren't friends with our neighbor Rarity... Hmph.

Spike: Phew.

Inside the carriage, the Mane Six were telling the FG trio about Equestria. The princesses of the sun and moon, the elements of harmony, which element they represent, and the reasons why they want to go to the Gala. Applejack wants to earn money for her farm and to fix Granny Smith's hip. Rainbow Dash wants to become one of the Wonderbolts. Pinkie Pie wants to have a good time partying at the Gala. Rarity wants to one day marry Prince Blueblood. Fluttershy wants to become friends with the animals in the royal garden. And Twilight looks forward to spending time with her teacher, Princess Celestia. The FG Trio were just bug-eyed with dropped jaws.

Stewie: That is... awesome.

Glory: You six are like heroes.

Rainbow Dash: Well, I don't like to brag, but I am pretty awesome.

The remaining ponies gave her angry stares.

Rainbow Dash: Ehehe. Sorry.

Stewie: Eh, that's quite alright. Brian here is a big bragging man himself.

Brian: Yeah, what ever. So, what else should we do?

Pinkie Pie: Oh! I know. How 'bout more of your funny flashbacks? Please? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Stewie: Whoa whoa whoa! Easy Pinkie Pie. One Cutaway at a time. Geez, yer more excited than my cousin Stewie Cruise.

**(Flashback)**

Stewie Cruise is seen on the Oprah Winfrey show jumping on the couch.

Stewie Cruise: I'M IN LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES! I'M IN LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! GO SEE MY NEW MOVIE! I'M IN LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY!

**(Reality)**

Pinkie squealed with excitement and fainted.

Stewie: Ugh, why did I have to say that?

Everyone giggled at Pinkie's reaction as they were getting close to the castle. Moments later, Spike opened the carriage door and the trio came out.

Spike: I must admit, Rarity sure did a good job on your wardrobes.

Trio: Thanks.

Glory: Spike, if you think we look good, check them out.

He turned to his friends and was like 'wow' when he saw them in their dresses.

Spike: Whoa! You all look... amazing!

Stewie: Wow, I must say, this place looks, amazing.

Glory: It's beautiful.

Twilight: I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this... The Best Night Ever!

Fireworks exploded in the sky.

Brian: Is-is that music playing?

Stewie: Yes, it would appear so. If I had to guess, I say a musical number is coming on.

Brian: Eh, what the Hell. Let's go for it.

Twilight: _"At the Gala"_

Choir: _"At the Gala"_

Fluttershy: _"At the Gala" "In the garden" "I'm going to see them all" "All the creatures" "I'll befriend them at the Galaaaa"_

Choir: _"At the Gala"_

Fluttershy: _"All the birdies" "And the critters" "They will love me big and small" "We'll become good friends forever" "Right here at the Galaaaaaa!"_

Choir: _"All our dreams will come true" "Right here at the Gala" "At the Gala"_

Applejack: _"At the Gala"_

Choir: _"It's amazing"_

Applejack: _"I will sell them"_

Choir: _"Better hurry"_

Applejack: _"All my appletastic treats"_

Choir: _"Yummy yummy"_

Applejack: _"Hungry ponies"_

Choir: _"They'll be snacking"_

Applejack: _"They will buy them"_

Choir: _"Bring your money"_

Applejack: _"Caramel apples, apple sweets"_

Choir: _"Gimme some"_

Applejack: _"And I'll earn a lot of money" "for the Apple familyyyyyy!"_

Choir: _"All our dreams and our hopes from now until here after" "All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Gala" "At the Gala"_

Rarity: "_At the Gala" "All the royals" "They will meet fair Rarity" "They will see I'm just as regal at the Galaaaaaa"_

Choir: _"At the Gala"_

Rarity: _"I will find him" "My Prince Charming" "And how gallant he will be" "He will treat me like a lady" "Tonight at the Galaaaaaa!"_

Choir: _"This is what we've waited for to have the best night ever" "Each of us will live our dreams" "Tonight at the Gala" "At the Gala"_

Rainbow Dash: _"Been dreamin'" "I've been waitin'" "To fly with those great ponies" "The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks" "Spinning round and having kicks" "Perform for crowds of thousands" "They'll shower us with diamonds" "The Wonderbolts will see me right here at the Galaaaaaa!"_

Choir: _"All we've longed for" "All we've dreamed" "Our happy ever after" "Finally will all come true" "Right here at the Grand Gala" "At the Gala"_

Pinkie Pie: _"I am here at the Grand Gala" "For it is the best party" "But the one thing it was missing was a pony named Pinkie" "For I am the best at parties, all the ponies will agree" "Ponies playing" "Ponies dancing" "With me at the Grand Galaaaaaa!"_

Choir: _"Happiness and laughter at the Gala" "At the Gala"_

Twilight: _"At the Gala"_

Choir: _"At the Gala"_

Twilight: _"With the Princess"_

Choir: _"With the Princess"_

Twilight: _"Is where I'm going to be"_

Choir: _"She will be"_

Twilight: _"We will talk all about magic and what I've learned and seen"_

Choir: _"She will see"_

Twilight: _"It is going to be so special" "As she takes time just for meeeeee"_

Choir: _"Now we have three special guests" "Tonight at the Gala" "At the Gala"_

Stewie: _"At the Gala" "Come on Brian" "It's a very nice little world"_

Glory: _"We'll have a nice dance together" "And maybe spin and twirl"_

Brian:_ "But I'm still not sure about this guys"_

Stewie: _"Of course you're not you douche"_

Glory: _"But we'll find our way back home Brian"_

Stewie, Brian, and Glory: _"Tonight at the Galaaaaaa"_

Choir: _"This will be the best night eveeeerrr!" "Into the Gala we must go" "We're ready now, we're all aglow" "Into the Gala, let's go in and have the best night ever" "Into the Gala, now's the time" "We're ready and we look divine!"_

Choir and Fluttershy: _"Into the Gala"_

Fluttershy: _"Meet new friends"_

Choir and Applejack: _"Into the Gala"_

Applejack: _"Sell some apples"_

Choir and Rarity: _"Into the Gala"_

Rarity: _"Find my Prince"_

Choir and Rainbow Dash: _"Prove I'm great"_

Rainbow Dash: _"As a Wonderbolt"_

Fluttershy: _"To meet!"_

Applejack: _"To sell!"_

Rarity: _"To find!"_

Rainbow Dash: _"To prove!"_

Pinkie Pie:_ "To whoop!"_

Twilight:_ "To talk!"_

Brian and Glory: _"To find our way back home"_

Stewie: _"That's right."_

All: _"Into the Galaaaa" "Into the Galaaaa" "And we'll have the best night eveeeeeerrr!" "At the Gala!"_

Spike: Yeah! This is gonna be the best night ever. You know why? Cause we're all gonna spend time at the Gala to...

The Mane Six and our FG trio split up quickly, leaving Spike by himself.

Spike: ...gether. Or not.

Inside the castle, Twilight was running up the staircase to Princess Celestia.

Twilight: Princess Celestia!

Celestia: Twilight! It is so lovely to see my star student.

Twilight: Oh, I'm so excited to be here! We have so much to catch up on.

Celestia: Well, I want you right by my side the entire evening, so we'll have plenty of time together.

And with that, Twilight quickly stood next to Princess Celestia.

Twilight: That's just what I was hoping you'd say.

Down below, on the first floor, Rarity was looking around searching for her love.

Rarity: (Gasp)

She spotted her love, Prince Blueblood, heading outside. Squealing with excitement, she rushed to him.

Rarity: Hurry, Rarity.

She's so nervous, she slowed it down.

Rarity: Oh, but not too fast. But don't wanna lose him... WAIT! Have to play it cool. Oh, but don't be cold!

She made it outside and saw him a few yards away.

Rarity: I can't lose him, I can't! He's everything I imagined!

Now she sees him with a rose in his mouth and wind blowin' in his hair.

Rarity: Even better than I imagined.

In the garden, Fluttershy saw a bird chirping.

Fluttershy: Oh my! A meadowlark!

She followed the meadowlark until she heard whistling.

Fluttershy: (Gasp) I think she's calling to me. It's exactly what I wished for.

She started humming beautifully, followed by the mysterious whistling again. While Fluttershy followed the whistling, Applejack opened up her booth that's filled with apple snacks.

Applejack: Howdy, partner! You hungry?

Soarin: As a horse!

Applejack: Well, what'cha hankering for? Caramel apple? Apple pie? Apple fritter? Apple fries?

Soarin: I'll take that big apple pie!

He paid her and got his pie.

Applejack: Well, thank you kindly, sir! Yee-haw!

Soarin: (Exit)

Applejack: In the first minute, I made my first sale. Just like I expected.

On his way to the VIP section, Soarin met up with Spitfire.

Spitfire: Always hungry after a show. Eh, Soarin?

Soarin: Heh. Yeah!

When he opened his mouth, his pie started dropping and Rainbow Dash saw it.

Soarin: (Gasp) My pie!

Rainbow swoops in and saves the pie.

Soarin: You saved it. Thanks.

He got his pie back and left.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, no prob.

Spitfire: Hey! I know you. You're the pony that saved us in Cloudsdale and won The Best Flyer Competition.

Rainbow Dash: Hay yeah! Name's Rainbow Dash.

Spitfire: Well, Rainbow Dash. Looks like your skills saved us again. Oh, well, at least they saved Soarin's apple pie.

Soarin is seen enjoying his apple pie on the floor.

Spitfire: Wanna come hang out with us?

Rainbow Dash: Sure. Why not?

She followed the Wonderbolts into the VIP section.

Rainbow Dash: I'm... hanging... with the... Wonderbolts! (Giggle)

Pinkie Pie hopped her way into the ballroom with the trio.

Brian: Wow! Ya know, I gotta say, the Gala so far isn't half bad.

Stewie: Yeah, the gala's really great.

Pinkie Pie: Great?! It's amazing! The shiny dance floor, the pretty party ponies, Ooh, the fancy band... SHINY! PRETTY! FANCY!

Glory: Whoa, easy Pinkie Pie. We know how much you like parties, but I don't think it's like a wild party. They're all gonna be mad if you get 'too excited'. So, for everyone's sake, please try to stay calm.

Pinkie Pie: OOOHH! Okay!

She just stood there with a smile.

Glory: Good.

And so, the trio walked in leaving Pinkie at the entrance.

Stewie: God, I feel like these ponies are staring at us because we're the only ones different.

Glory: What're you talking about? No one's even looking at us.

Stewie: Well, of course they are. Knowing these damn classy people, they're clearly seeing us from the corner of their eyes.

Brian: Come on Stewie, you're exaggerating.

Stewie: And you're sexy.

Brian: What?

Stewie: What?

Glory: What?

Stewie: What?

Brian: What? Ah, never mind.

Pinkie couldn't stand keeping her happy emotions inside. She was sweating a bit and shaking.

Pinkie Pie: Shiny floor, pretty ponies, fancy band! Must.. stay.. calm! Must.. DANCE!

She started bouncing, singing, and dancing in the ballroom, gaining every ponies attention.

Pinkie Pie: _"I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala" "I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala" "I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala" "It's all I ever dreamed" "It's all I ever dreamed" "woo hoo!" "It's all I ever dreamed, yippee!" "I'm at the Grand Galloping GalaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA!"_

When she opened her eyes, all the attention she was getting was more strict and stern than she expected.

Pinkie Pie: (Quietly) It's all I've ever... dreamed?

The trio saw the whole thing.

Glory: I told her not to go crazy, and what does she do? She went crazy. I'd tell her I'd told her so, but well, ya know.

Brian: Heh, awkwaaard!

Stewie: (Slowly) Yeeeaah! So, I'm gonna head over there and get to work on my remote. You guys just, uh, enjoy the gala. (Exit)

Back outside, Rarity was sniffing a beautiful red rose in the bush.

Prince Blueblood: Well, hello. I am Prince Blueblood.

Rarity: I am... Rarity. Oh my, what a lovely rose.

Prince Blueblood: You mean...

He picked up the rose from the bush.

Prince Blueblood: ...this rose?

Instead of offering the flower to Rarity, he places it on his suit.

Prince Blueblood: Thank you. It goes with my eyes.

Rarity: (Moan)

Back in the garden, Fluttershy continued to follow the sound of the melody.

Fluttershy: (Gasp) My little meadowlark is right around this bend.

Turns out the the whistling was coming from the groundskeeper, Mr. Greenhooves.

Mr. Greenhooves: (Whistle)

Fluttershy: Was that you?

Mr. Greenhooves: Yep! I love whistlin' while I work. (Whistle)

Fluttershy: Oh! Yes... well... excuse me.

While she was going in the opposite direction, she heard animal noises, and finally found the animals.

Fluttershy: Oh! I see a toco toucan! And a spider monkey! And, oh! Is that a wallaroo?

She flew towards them only to see them scurry off.

Fluttershy: Oh, Fluttershy. You're such a loudmouth.

While Fluttershy was getting a little less attention from the animals, Rainbow Dash wasn't getting any at all from her idols. They were busy talking to other party-goers.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Spitfire! You ever done a rain cloud double backflip?

She didn't hear Rainbow. So Dash turned to Soarin.

Rainbow Dash: You ever soared past lightning? It's awesome!

He didn't hear Rainbow either, he just left. Back with Twilight, she wasn't chatting with Celestia as she had hoped. The princess was just welcoming ponies to the Gala.

Celestia: Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala.

Twilight: Princess! I've been so excited to spend time with you and...

Celestia: Yes. Me too, Twi... Oh, good evening! Welcome to the Gala. Which is why I... Ladies! Lovely to see you again.

Twilight: (Sigh)

Twilight noticed how long the line is.

Twilight: Looks like getting a chance to talk to the Princess is gonna be a magic trick in itself.

Back at Applejack's booth...

Applejack: First minute, first sale.

No pony bothered to buy anything. They just walked on by.

Applejack: Second... Fourth... Sixth... Sixtieth minute... no sales. (Sigh) This ain't what I expected at all.

In the Ballroom, Pinkie was at a table by herself singing sadly.

Pinkie Pie: _"I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala..."_ and it's not what I dreamed.

Outside, in the royal gardens, Prince Blueblood laid a soft pillow cushion on the ground. Rarity was just about to sit down until Blueblood sat on the pillow first.

Rarity: This isn't at all what I imagined.

Princess Celestia continued to welcome ponies to the Gala, and all Twilight did was smile.

Twilight: This isn't what I hoped.

In the VIP section, the Wonderbolts didn't hung out with Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: This isn't hanging out.

In the gardens, the animals were still running away from Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: This isn't what I wished for.

At this moment, they all made a vow.

Twilight: No!

Rarity: I waited all my life...

Fluttershy: ...for this moment!

Pinkie Pie: And I'm not going to...

Applejack: ...let it slip by!

Rainbow Dash: If it's the last thing I do...

Twilight: ...I'm gonna make this...

Mane Six: ...the best night EVER!

Suddenly, the trio popped up and broke the fourth wall for this moment.

Stewie: Yeeeaah, we'll just see how their Best Night Ever goes.

Glory: Do you think they'll have the best night ever? Or perhaps the worst night ever?

Brian: Stay tune when Family Guy returns.

The mane six showed up.

Twilight: Hey, this is our show.

Stewie: No, it's our show.

Mane Six: Our show!

Trio: Our show!

Mane Six: Our show!

Trio: Our show!

They piled up and started fighting, until Spike stopped them.

Spike: Uh, you guys?

They stopped for a moment.

Spike: It's a crossover.

They looked at each other and laughed.

Twilight: Sorry about that folks.

Rarity: Our most humble apologies.

Rainbow Dash: Stay tune. We'll be right back.

Back outside, Fluttershy set up a trap with a carrot under a box, a stick, and some rope.

Fluttershy: I just have to be more bold, like Twilight says. (Loudly) I'm so sorry to have scared you, my friends! But I'm leaving now, so you can all come out!

After hiding behind a bush, she heard a crunching sound and pulled the rope.

Fluttershy: Gotcha! It's okay. I promise not to hurt you. I just wanna be your...

It turned out Mr. Greenhooves was eating the carrot.

Fluttershy: ...friend?

Mr. Greenhooves: Mmm... sounds good to me.

Fluttershy was so disappointed, she gave out an angry look. In the castle, Rainbow was thinking of a plan to make her idols notice her.

Rainbow Dash: Come on, Rainbow! If they don't notice you, you gotta make 'em notice you.

She looked around and noticed a pony named Caesar. She slowly walked behind him whistling, and pretend to mind her own business when suddenly, she bumped him in the air. While he was yelling, Dash rushed past some ponies to save him and finally caught him. The Wonderbolts didn't see the whole thing, so Rainbow Dash dropped Caesar down and left. In the same room, Rarity was with her prince.

Rarity: Just give him a chance, Rarity. His princely side is sure to come out if you're just patient.

Prince Blueblood: Miss Rarity, stop.

He stopped her from stepping into a water puddle on the floor.

Rarity: Oh. Prince Blueblood! How chivalrous.

Prince Blueblood: One would hate to slip.

Rarity: Yes. One certainly would.

Prince Blueblood: One's cloak should take care of the problem.

Rarity: Oh, of course it will.

She was hoping Prince Blueblood would lay his coat over the puddle, but instead, he uses Rarity's scarf. After the Prince walked acrossed it, Rarity picked up her scarf while feeling aggravated. Back with the Trio and Pinkie Pie, Brian was leaning against a snack table feeling drunk with Glory beside him.

Brian: Uh, hey, hey Glory. W-w-what's goin' on, huh? Huh? I-I-I-I-I have to a-admit something to-to you. I-I being wanting to... make love to you ev-ever since I've seen you in that dress.

Glory: Uh, Brian, I'm pretty sure I'm way too young for you. And besides, I have a boyfriend.

Brian: We-well if it, if it doesn't work out, ya know who da call.

Glory: Riiight! Um, I'm gonna go see how Stewie's doing.

Brian: St-Stewie's sexy.

Glory: What?

Brian: What? AAWW, never mind.

Glory: Eer- Right.

She sat at the same table Stewie was sitting.

Glory: Hey Stewie.

Stewie: Hey Glory. How's the Gala?

Glory: Well, so far this so called Best Night Ever is turning out to be the Worst Night Ever. Brian's drunk again, and Pinkie's not having any fun.

Stewie: Ah, tell me about it. This device is driving me nuts. It might take me a little longer than I thought. I tell you, this night sucks. Sucks worse than that time we spent at the beach.

**(Flashback)**

A lifeguard carried the trio to get them off the beach.

Brian: Well this sucks.

Glory: Thanks a lot, Stewie. You got us banned from the beach.

Stewie: Oh come on. If everyone likes a good snowball fight, why can't the balls be made of sand?

**(Reality)**

Stewie: I guess you were right. This is the worst night ever.

After feeling sad that the Gala wasn't the kind of party she hoped it would be, Pinkie Pie thought up an idea.

Pinkie Pie: (Gasp)

She ran on stage and whispered something to the orchestra. She tapped the microphone and...

Pinkie Pie: C'mon, everypony! I know what will make you shake those groove-thangs!

Glory: And it just got even worst.

Stewie: Oh boy!

When the song began, Twilight was shaking hooves with the guests.

Pinkie Pie: _"You reach your right hoof in" "You reach your right hoof out" "You reach your right hoof in" "And you shake it all about"_

One guest shook Twilight's hoof even faster and harder.

Pinkie Pie: _"You do the Pony Pokey meeting lots of folks with clout" "That's what I'm talking about"_

Outside at Applejack's Booth...

Pinkie Pie: _"You step your left hoof in" "You pull it right back out"_

...Applejack kicked her booth to drop some apples to trip a party-goer.

Pinkie Pie: _"You step your left hoof in" "But you better help him out"_

She helped him up and offered him some apples, but he refused and left.

Pinkie Pie: _"You do the Pony Pokey but should find a different route" "That's what it's all about"_

Rainbow used her back hoof to kick the table, and the drink that was on the table was in the air, and she caught it with her back leg.

Pinkie Pie: _"You kick your back left in" "You pull your back left out" "You reach your back left in" "Just be brave and have no doubt" "You do the Pony Pokey feeling like you're gonna pout" "That's what I'm singing about"_

The Wonderbolts were impressed, until they were pulled away by some guests who wanted to take a picture with them. Prince Blueblood and Rarity were tilting their heads to tell the other to open the door.

Pinkie Pie: _"You tilt your head in" "You tilt your head out" "You tilt your head in" "Then you shake it all about" "You do the Pony Pokey even though your date's a lout" "You're better off without"_

The door behind them closed and knocked Rarity to the floor. In the garden, Fluttershy was chasing the animals, but they were too fast.

Pinkie Pie: _"You stomp your whole self in" "You stomp your whole self out" "You stomp your whole self in" "And you stomp yourself about" "You do the Pony Pokey and you give a little shout-"_

Fluttershy: COME OUT!

Pinkie Pie: _"That's what I'm talking about" "You do the Pony Pokey" "You do the Pony Pokey" "You do the Pony Pokey" "And that's what it's all about" "Yeah"_

Brian: YEEEAAH! Now that.. now that's what I called partyin' Yeah! W-way to go, Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie took a bow.

Pinkie Pie: Thank you. Thank you.

Lyrica Lilac: Young lady, this is not that kind of party.

Pinkie Pie: OOOOOhhh... They don't want a party. These ponies want a paaartay!

Brian: Yeah, let's PAAARRTAAAY!

Applejack was looking bored until Rarity and Blueblood arrived.

Rarity: Two apple fritters, please.

Applejack: Two apple fritters comin' right up. That'll be four bits.

Rarity stared at her "date" waiting for him to pay.

Rarity: Ahem.

Prince Blueblood: Ahem.

Rarity: Ahem!

Prince Blueblood: AHEM!

Rarity: (Sigh) I'm going to have to pay, aren't I?

Applejack: It's okay, Rarity. I got you covered.

Rarity: Thank you, Applejack. At least somepony here has good manners.

After taking one bite, Blueblood spat it out.

Prince Blueblood: Oh! Fritters! Dumplings! Caramel apples! My royal lips have touched common carnival fare! I'm going to the buffet for some... hors d'oeuvres.

Rarity scowled at Blueblood for what he said and followed him.

Applejack: Well, no wonder nopony wants my food. They're fillin' up on those fancy-schmancy vittles. Well, my down-home apples are plenty good enough for this crowd. I'll just dress 'em up a bit and prove it to 'em.

And so, she takes her cart to the castle while 'twitchy' Fluttershy sets up another trap. A net on the ground trick.

Fluttershy: I'll catch you yet, my pretties. Oh yes. As soon as one of you little birds or monkeys or bears touches this net... you'll be MINE! MINE! AUHAHAHAHAHA! Whoa!

She tripped and got trapped in her own net. Back in the castle, Pinkie was still trying to lighten up the party.

Pinkie Pie: Come on, everypony! You wanted a partay? Now let's paaartaaay!

Pinkie Pie and Drunken Brian tried getting everypony to party, until Applejack entered the ballroom with her cart and a cake.

Applejack: Okay, all you high-class ponies. Here's a highfalutin apple cake for your hoity-toity taste buds.

Pinkie Pie: STAGE DIVE!

The ponies moved out the way and Pinkie Pie stage dived into the cart and that's when the cake got shot up in the air. The cake was heading towards Prince Blueblood, but he grabbed Rarity and used her as a shield to protect himself. Rarity was now covered in cake and she lost it.

Rarity: (Growl) You sir are the most uncharming prince I have ever MET! In fact, the only thing royal about you is that you are a ROYAL PAIN!

Prince Blueblood: Ewww...! Stay back! I just had myself groomed.

Rarity: Afraid to get DIRTY?!

She shook the cake pieces onto Blueblood, and he whimpering and then bumps into an alicorn statue, which was about to fall on innocent ponies.

Rainbow Dash: This is my chance.

She rushed in and caught it just in time.

Rainbow Dash: Yes!

Unfortunately, her balance was off and the statue bumped into one of the ballroom's stone columns. Then, that column bumped into another one and they all fell like dominoes. After that, the statue Rainbow carried broke into pieces.

Glory: This.. is bad.

Stewie: Really bad.

As Celestia and Twilight entered the ballroom, they've seen the horrible destruction that happened.

Twilight: Well, it can't get any worse.

The ground was shaking and there was a rumbling noise. Then all of a sudden, a stampede of animals bursts through the door with an enraged Fluttershy behind them.

Fluttershy: You're... going to LOOOVE MEEE!

Glory: AAAAUUUGGGHH!

Brian: HOLY CRAP!

Stewie: EVERYPONY FOR HIMSELF, EVERYBODY GET THE (Bleep) OUTTA HERE NOOOOW!

The stampede of animals ran all over the place with screaming ponies screaming.

Twilight: Um, um, uh... Eugh.

Celestia: Run.

Twilight: (Whistle)

That got the attention of her friends and the trio. And so, they followed Twilight out. After they all passed by Celestia, Brian went back for her.

Brian: So, uh, are you... are you married?

Stewie: BRIAN, BRING YOUR ASS!

Brian: I'll call ya.

On their way down the stairs, Rarity drops one of her glass slippers.

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Rarity, your glass slipper! Now your prince is sure to find you.

Rarity: (Shriek)

She ran back up and crushed her slipper.

Rarity: Let's go.

Pinkie Pie just stood there until Rarity grabbed her.

**(Doughnut Shop)**

Spike: Hey, Pony Joe. Another donut.

Joe: Don't you think you've had enough?

Spike: Another donut! Extra sprinkles!

The sound of a bell was heard and that came from the Mane Six and the FG trio. Their dresses and tuxedos are all tattered and messy and a little ripped.

Joe: Twilight Sparkle! Ha ha. Long time no see.

Spike: Hey, how was the Gala? How was your best night ever?

Stewie: You are not going to believe this.

They sat down at a table and told Spike everything.

Spike: That sounds like the worst night ever!

Mane Six and FG Trio: It was! (Laughing)

Twilight: I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for ruining the Gala.

Celestia: (Enter) That was the best Grand Galloping Gala ever!

Mane Six and Spike: Princess Celestia!

Trio: Princess?!

The three quickly got on the floor and held each other tight.

Glory: Please don't hurt us.

Brian: It was all Stewie's fault. He duplicated our tickets.

Stewie: I'm just a baby.

All Celestia did was just laugh.

Stewie: What the Hell is this?

Celestia: Oh, I'm not going to hurt you. I was aware of you three at the Gala since your arrival here.

Brian: You, you knew?

Glory: The whole time?

Celestia: Of course. You didn't think I wasn't aware of your arrival in this dimension, did you?

The trio looked at each other and laugh.

Stewie: Yeah, I suppose we kinda underestimated a powerful princess.

Glory: A smart one too.

Brian: Not to mention pretty.

Stewie and Glory: Dude.

Brian: What?

The ponies, Spike, Glory, and Stewie laugh a little at Brian.

Twilight: So anyway, Princess, how was it the best Grand Galloping Gala ever? Tonight was just awful.

Celestia: Oh, Twilight. The Grand Galloping Gala is always awful.

Twilight: It is?

Celestia: That is why I was thrilled you were all attending. I was hoping you could liven things up a bit. And while the evening may not have gone as you planned, I'm sure you'll agree that in the end it didn't turn out so bad for this group of friends.

Twilight: You're right, Princess. Friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something pretty great.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Hanging out with friends!

Fluttershy: Talking!

Pinkie Pie: Laughing!

Spike: You mean doing exactly what I wanted to do the whole time?

Twilight: Yes, Spike. You were right.

Applejack: As horrible as our night was...

Rarity: ...being together here has made it all better.

Pinkie Pie: In fact, it's made it...

Mane Six, Spike, and Trio: ...the best night ever!

All of them had a laugh.

Stewie: And to make it even better, I've finally fixed my remote. That means the three of us can finally go back home now.

The ponies and dragon gave sad looks.

Stewie: Oh! Perhaps I shouldn't have brung everyone down.

Brian: Look, I'm sorry you guys, but we have to go.

Stewie: Not just yet, Brian.

Brian: What?

Stewie: With all the work I've been doing all night, I realize that since we're in another dimension, the return pad can only be powered by a great power from this world. In this case, alicorn magic.

Everyone looked at Celestia. Stewie took the return pad from his backpack and place it in front of the princess.

Stewie: So, uh, Princess? Will you give some of your magic to our path back home?

Celestia: Mhmhm. It would be my pleasure.

She closed her eyes, her horn glowed yellow, and started transferring her alicorn magic to the return pad.

Rainbow Dash: So, you guys are really going huh?

Glory: Yeah.

The Mane Six, Spike, and the FG Trio hugged.

Glory: We're gonna miss you guys.

Fluttershy: We're all going miss you too.

Twilight: Listen, before you all go, can we have.. one last thing to remember you all by?

Stewie: Sure.

Brian: Anything.

Glory: Just name it.

Twilight: Well... we were kinda hoping if...

Applejack: If ya'll wouldn't mind showin' us some more of them flashbacks.

Mane Six and Spike: Pleeeeeaase!

Stewie: Ah, what the Hell, I guess they deserve it.

Brian: Yeah, let's go for it.

Glory: Yeah, ya'll will not believe this, but we've been through lots of crazy times. Like that time the three of us went parachuting.

**(Flashback)**

At some point while falling from the sky, they opened their parachutes. Brian's parachute said 'Stewie', Stewie's said 'Is', and Glory's said 'Ugly'.

Brian and Glory: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Stewie: Oh, you two can go to Hell for all I care.

**(Reality)**

Brian: And then there was that time we went under water.

**(Flashback)**

Under water, their submarine was being humped by a giant squid.

Glory: This is soooo uncomfortable.

Stewie: How the bloody Hell did we even get into this mess?

Glory: You tell us. You're the one who got us here in the first place.

**(Reality)**

Stewie: Yes, and there was even that time you ate one of Rupert's legs.

**(Flashback)**

Brian: You are really gonna sit there with a straight face and tell me a flat tax doesn't favor the wealthy?

Stewie: Not one bit. And it saves millions of man hours that the complexity of the current tax code wastes, which you would realize if you weren't retarded.

Brian took Rupert and started cutting his leg with a knife.

Stewie: Hey, give him back. Stop that. What are you doing?

Brian started chewing Rupert's leg.

Stewie: Gimme back his leg.

Brian: Oh, you'll get it back.

**(Reality)**

They had a huge laugh until Celestia was finished.

Celestia: It's done.

Stewie: Alright guys, let's go.

Stewie grabbed the return pad off the floor and headed outside with everyone following. He placed it on the ground and the trio got on. Stewie pulled out the Multiverse remote from his backpack and set the coordinates to their dimension.

Stewie: Good-bye, everypony.

Glory: We won't forget you.

Brian: Take care.

Everypony: Good-bye.

Celestia: I'm hoping to see all of you again someday.

Glory: I assure you, we'll be back if we can.

Once Stewie pushed the button on his device, the return pad had a white static aura around it and the trio.

Stewie: See ya.

And with that, they turned into a white beam and shot up high in the air.

Twilight: (Thought) Take care you three. Even your friendship... is magic.

As the white beam reached into space, it disappeared, leaving behind a twinkle in the sky.


	10. Road to Jump City

Jazzy Family Guy Music Plays.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows the screen that says "Road to Jump City"

The third shows a versus screen. The New Teen Titans vs the new Powerpuff Girls vs the Griffins.

The fourth shows the trio beating up the new Teen Titans for eating their Enchilada. Get it? From Drake &amp; Josh: Really Big Shrimp?

The fifth shows the trio enjoying their limo ride through Townsville.

The sixth shows the trio using gliders to fly with the Powerpuff Girls.

The seventh shows Stewie using a ray gun to scare the H.I.V.E. away.

The eighth shows Glory and Brian running from Stewie after they were spying on his date with Bubbles.

The ninth shows Glory dressed like Blossom, Brian dressed like Buttercup, and Stewie dressed like Bubbles on Halloween.

The tenth shows the trio running from a battle between the original Teen Titans and the new Teen Titans.

The eleventh shows the Titans captured in a cage and the trio and the Powerpuff Girls fighting Slade.

The twelfth shows the trio, the new Powerpuff Girls, and the new Teen Titans having a pie fight.

And the final one shows the trio, the new Teen Titans, and the new Powerpuff Girls standing up as heroes on the street while Robin held the American Flag next to him with the sun rising behind them.

**(Griffin House)**

Brian and Glory were sitting on the living room couch watching the Channel 5 news.

Tom: Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker. If you're wondering why co-anchor Joyce Kinney isn't here today, it's because she's on Spring Break vacation. Of course, everyone else here at the station's on vacation except me, so I'm pretty much the only one here, heh. Kinda embarrassing isn't it? Boy I wish I had plans.

Glory: Hey Brian, what are you doing for Spring Break?

Brian: Eh, I'm going to the N.A.S.A. convention. They've selected my novel to pass the time while in space.

Glory: Faster Than The Speed Of Love?

Brian: Yeah.

Glory: (Quiet) Good luck with that.

Brian: I'm sorry?!

Glory: What!?

Brian: No no no. You said something about my book.

Glory: N-no I didn't.

Brian: Y-yeah ya did.

Glory: I uh...

A two horn monster jumped down the stairs and roared.

Glory and Brian: AAAAAAAUUUGH!

The monster turned out to be Stewie in a mask, who quickly took the mask off.

Stewie: SURPRISE MUTHA (Bleep)AS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Brian: UGH, STEWIE, WHAT THE HELL?!

Glory: WHY SCARE US LIKE THAT?

Stewie: (Excited) Guys, you're never going to believe it, but I did it.

Glory: Did what, scare us to death? Because we do believe it.

Stewie: (Excited) Yes, but that's not what I'm talking about. Come upstairs and hurry.

With no other words to say, Brian and Glory followed Stewie upstairs. In his room, they approached Stewie, who was wearing his blue backpack and was near his Time Machine.

Stewie: Step inside.

They followed Stewie inside his Time Machine and then the door closed.

Glory: Okay Stewie, we're in. So what's up?

At the controls, Stewie showed them the Multiverse Remote attached to the Time Machine in front of them.

Glory: The Multiverse Remote?

Brian: What about it?

Stewie: I combined it with my Time Machine. You see, when we went to the world of Equestria last week, I realize that together, they can transport us to any dimension at any time.

Brian: Yeah, we kinda knew that. So why'd you bring us here?

Stewie: Well, I figured we could go to some dimensions since we have no other plans for spring break.

Brian: I have plans, Stewie. I'm going to the N.A.S.A. convention because they've selected my novel.

Stewie: Ooohh, um, about that!

Brian: What?

Stewie: Um, I don't know if you've heard, but, uh, they don't select novels to read in space. In fact, they don't even care about the novels they select.

Brian: What!?

Stewie: Yeah, the only reason they select novels is because they want to use the pages as toilet paper. Just last year, they used the book "The Great Gatsby."

**(Flashback)**

An Astronaut walked in front of the bathroom door.

Astronaut 1: (Knock) (Knock) (Knock) Hey, how's the book in there?

Astronaut 2: It feels really soft. Hey, ya wanna make paper animals with it?

Astronaut 1: Yeah, okay. (Exit)

**(Reality)**

Brian was so pissed, he didn't say a word.

Glory: Uh, Brian?

Brian: Just go.

Stewie: Alright, off we go.

Once Stewie entered the coordinates to another world, the Time Machine had a white static aura around it. And in a few seconds, the trio disappeared along with the Multiverse Remote.

**(Townsville)**

Narrator: The secret lab of that most sinister of simians, Mojo Jojo, up to no good, no doubt.

Mojo: MWAHAHAHAHA! The city of Townsville will drop to its knees when I, Mojo Jojo, unleash my army of cybernetically enhanced battle monkeys. They will cower and I, Mojo Jojo, will laugh. AUHAHAHA! And they, the people, not the monkeys, will very much dislike what I, Mojo Jojo, am doing. And I, Mojo Jojo, will not care.

The Powerpuff Girls burst through the walls of Mojo's lab.

Blossom: Not so fast, Mojo.

Mojo: The Powerpuff Girls! You were always thwarting my ingenious plans, but not today.

Buttercup quickly pulled the plug from the wall and the entire battle monkey army fell apart.

Mojo: Okay, you have thwarted my ingenious plan. But you will never catch me. (Runs)

Buttercup: Oh yeah?

With their incredible speed, the girls stopped in front of Mojo.

Blossom: Give it up, Mojo.

Mojo: Okay. But first, enjoy this Powerpuff Girl repellant.

He sprayed the girls with a repellent, which created a small green poisonous fog around the girls, and causing them to cough. After that, he heads for a dimension transporting machine.

Mojo: Now, you must excuse me while I, Mojo Jojo, carry out my cybernetically enhanced battle monkey plan in another dimension I, Mojo Jojo, have discovered where superheroes do not care about stopping villains. Mojo out.

And with that, the machine zapped Mojo away.

Bubbles: So, we're just gonna wait for this poisonous fog to clear, and then go after him, right?

Blossom: Right.

Narrator: A world where superheroes do not battle...

Suddenly, in a white flash explosion, the FG trio magically appeared.

Trio: ~Uuuuhhh~

Stewie: ~Okay, I totally need to work on that~

Glory: ~Yeah, you should~

The trio slowly stood up.

Narrator: What's this?! Three mysterious figures have poofed out of nowhere.

Brian: What the Hell?! Who said that?

Narrator: Wait, you heard me?

Brian: Yeah, I did.

Glory: So did I.

Stewie: I recognize that voice. That's Tom Kenny's voice.

Blossom: Hey, who's there?

The trio saw a little green fog around the girls.

Stewie: Hold on, whoever you are. Let me get rid of this fog.

Narrator: And so, the mysterious talking baby pulls out a windy device from his backpack to...

Stewie: Hey! Shut up.

Narrator: Eer, sorry.

The windy device was just a fan, which Stewie turned on to blow the green fog away from the girls.

Blossom: Phew. Thanks.

Stewie: Ah, it's no problem. It was my pleasur- AAAAAUUUGH!

Glory: AAAAAUUUGH!

Brian: HOLY CRAP!

Blossom: What? What's going on?

Stewie: Your fingers!

Glory: Your noses!

Brian: Your ears! They're, they're gone.

Buttercup flew up in their faces.

Buttercup: Hey, we never had noses or fingers or ears to begin with. We were born this way.

Glory: Oh! Our bad. Sorry. Uh, let's start over. I'm Glory, and this is Stewie and Brian. We came here from another dimension.

Blossom and Bubbles flew up next to Buttercup.

Blossom: Hold on, you three are actually from another dimension?

Stewie: Yeah, we're dimension jumping for spring break. We've visited many worlds before. Including our favorites.

**(Flashback)**

(Fire Hydrant Universe)

Brian: Love it.

Glory &amp; Stewie: Hate it.

(Famous Glory Universe)

Glory: Love it.

Brian &amp; Stewie: Hate it.

(Gay Universe)

Stewie: Love it.

Brian &amp; Glory: Hate it.

**(Reality)**

The girls looked around in confusion.

Bubbles: Uh, what was that?

Glory: That my friend was a Cutaway Gag, or if you prefer, a flashback. This sort of thing happens a lot in our world.

Buttercup: Hehe, I have to admit. That flashback was kinda funny. Can you do it again?

Blossom: There's no time for that. We're getting off topic here. We need to stop Mojo Jojo.

Stewie: I'm sorry, what?

Glory: Who's that?

Blossom: He's an evil green talking monkey who's planning a monkey army in another dimension.

Brian: A green talking monkey? Ehehe, sounds kinda silly don't cha think?

Buttercup: Hey, you're a dog who can talk. So.

Glory and Stewie: Hehehehehe!

Stewie: Oh, she totally got you, Brian.

Brian: Whatever.

Glory: Hehehe. So, this Mojo guy's making a monkey army, huh? Then allow us to help ya.

Blossom: You don't know Mojo. He's evil.

Stewie: We don't have to know him. I mean if we can handle giant mutant insects...

**(Flashback)**

In the living room, Stewie was blasting a big roach with a ray gun, Glory was fighting a big ant with a wooden staff, and Brian was running away from a big spider.

**(Reality)**

Stewie: ...then we can most definitely handle this Mojo fella.

Blossom: (Moan) Alright, you can help.

Trio: Yay!

Blossom: Alright, let's move.

Narrator: And so, with great determination, Stewie, Brian, Glory, and the Powerpuff Girls head towards the dimension transporter.

Brian: Okay, alright, where is this voice coming from?

Bubbles: What voice?

Stewie: Wait, hang on.

Stewie took out his remote from his backpack and pushed a few buttons.

Stewie: Oh, here's the answer. According to the Multiverse Guide, this universe has its own narrator. Here that girls? You three have your own narrator.

Buttercup: Wait, we do?

Stewie: Yep. Brian, Glory, and I are the only ones who can hear him because we're not from this world.

Bubbles: Wow, that's good to know that we have our own narrator. And that's quite a very nifty gadget you got there.

Stewie: (Blush) Hehe. Thanks. Hehe. Okay, let's go.

A second later, the machine zapped all six of them away.

Narrator: Ahem. As I was saying. A world where superheroes do not battle villains? What kind of awful place could that be?

**(Jump City)**

At Titans Tower, Cyborg is playing a game and Beast Boy is reading a comic book.

Beast Boy: Hey, bro. Ya wanna hear me beef the alphabet? Hehehe.

Cyborg: That sounds like a super fun and disgusting way to learn my letters.

And so, Beast Boy stood on the couch and started farting the alphabet.

Beast Boy: A, B, C, D...

Just then, Mojo appeared right in front of the two.

Cyborg and Beast Boy: Magic Monkey!

Mojo: Hmm. Big-shouldered robot man. Green boy wearing tights. You must be superheroes.

Beast Boy: (Gasp) He talks?

Cyborg: Check out that hat, bro! I love him so much.

Mojo: But will you still love me when I, Mojo Jojo, create an army of cybernetically enhanced battle monkeys?

Cyborg: You're making a monkey army?

Beast Boy: So cool! Can we'se get in on that?

Mojo: You truly are superheroes who do not fight villains. And you want to help me?

Cyborg: Uh, spend the day with a talking monkey making a monkey army?

Cyborg and Beast Boy: Yeah!

Cyborg and Beast Boy held up Mojo and exited the tower while chanting...

Cyborg and Beast Boy: Monkey army! Monkey army! Monkey army!

Robin entered the living room when the narrator spoke up.

Narrator: Oh no, Cyborg and Beast Boy ensnared in the evil clutches of Mojo Jojo.

Robin: Who said that?

Narrator: Wait, you can hear me too?

Robin: I can hear you loud and clear, voice. And what do you mean too?

Raven: (Entered with Starfire) Ah, hearing voices again?

Starfire: Is it the angry one, Robin?

Suddenly, the trio and the Powerpuff Girls magically appeared just like Mojo.

Titans: (Gasp)

Narrator: Thank heavens! Stewie, Brian, Glory, and the Powerpuff Girls are here!

Starfire: Who are the odd floating color-coordinated children, the oddly shaped baby, the puppy, and the girl?

Robin: Stewie, Brian, Glory, and the Powerpuff Girls.

Blossom: That's.. right. How did you know?

Robin: The voice! That voice.

Glory: Wait, you can hear the Powerpuff Girl's narrator too?

Robin: (Gasp) The Powerpuff Girls have their own narrator? Tha-hat's awesome! I've always wanted a narrator. Hey! Hey voice, say what I'm doing right now.

He lifts his left leg.

Narrator: Robin lifts his leg.

Robin: (Giggle)

Stewie: Having fun with the narrator, Robin?

Starfire: (Gasp) The baby has spoken the english.

Brian: Uh, I can speak english too.

Starfire: (Gasp) The dog has spoken as well.

Glory: Yeah, yeah, we can all speak. Anyway, Stewie, Brian, and I are visiting dimensions for spring break. And we've visited the Powerpuff Girls in their dimension.

Stewie: That's right, and we followed them to your world to help with their mission.

Blossom: And that's to stop a monkey army from being built by our arch enemy, Mojo Jojo.

Robin: We have to do something. Your parents must be worried sick.

Blossom: Whaaat?

Glory: Excuuuse me?

Raven: Aw, don't be scared. We'll keep an eye on you until your mommies and daddies come pick you up.

Bubbles: We don't need babysitters, we need to stop Mojo Jojo.

Brian: Yeah. A-And besides, I'm older than everyone else here. In human years.

Starfire: And I need to do the pinchies upon your wittle cheeks.

Buttercup and Stewie slapped Starfire's hands off their cheeks.

Buttercup: Hey, we are superheroes, not babies. Got it?

Stewie: Yes, so keep your filthy hands to yaself, bitch.

Glory: Oh wait, I forgot. Before we stop Mojo, we'd like to know your names.

Buttercup: Good point. We almost forgot too. I'm Buttercup and that's Bubbles and Blossom.

Raven: Well, I'm Chico, and that's Chewie and Chubby!

Blossom: (Whisper) What's wrong with these guys?

Glory: I'll tell you. These guys are way more stupid than my dad when he locked his keys out of the car.

**(Flashback)**

In a Parking Lot, Peter was in the car while his keys were outside on the ground.

Peter: Damn it. H-HEY! HEY! SOMEBODY! HEY! H-SIR! SIR! SIR, YOU SEE THOSE KEYS THERE?

The man just walked on by.

Peter: SIR! S-OH SKREW YOU!

Peter used a really long hangar to grab the keys, but the hangar fell out the window and Peter started whining.

**(Reality)**

The Titans looked around in confusion while Buttercup laughed.

Robin: What was that?

Glory: Once again, that was a flashback. It happens a lot in our world.

Raven: Yeah? Well in our world, your favorite cereals fall down from the sky.

Glory face palmed.

Glory: Damn these idiots.

Robin: Raven, don't joke like that. Their underdeveloped brains can't process your humor.

Robin went up to the trio and the girls and spoke loudly and slowly.

Robin: I'M ROOOBIN! ROOOBIN!

Stewie: Okay, that's it.

Stewie pulled out a gun and shot Robin's left foot.

Robin: AAAAAUUUGH!

All except Stewie: AAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

Stewie: ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH! JUST SHUT THE (Bleep) UP! WE'RE NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND TAKE THIS BABY TALK! YOU ARE GOING TO TALK TO US LIKE ADULTS, OR I'LL BLOW YA (Bleep)ING HEADS OFF! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Titans: YES! WE WILL! WE PROMISE!

Stewie: Well alright then.

From his backpack, Stewie pulled out some bandages and wrapped them around Robin's foot. After that, Robin got back on his feet.

Stewie: Alright, now try it again.

Robin was so nervous, he was sweating.

Robin: Um, hehehe, okay. Uh, w-we're the Teen Titans. I'm R-Robin. And this is Raven and Starfire and... wait, w-where are Cyborg and Beast Boy?

Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Mojo are raiding supplies from the Haunted Tanks Army Surplus Store while dancing to music.

Mojo: That's my jam!

Mojo did some cool moves on the hood of a car.

Cyborg: Should we have told the others where we are?

Beast Boy: Nah, don't sweat it, bro. I left a note saying we were helping the monkey.

Back at Titans Tower, Raven found a note on the tv.

Raven: Look, they left a note.

She used her magic and hands it to Robin.

Robin: It says, "Help! Monkey!"

Starfire: (Gasp) They are in the danger.

Blossom: (Groan) That's what we're trying to tell you.

Robin: And you've come here for our help because you are tiny, helpless...

Stewie: Ahem.

He looked down and saw Stewie poking his right foot with his gun.

Stewie: If you wanna keep your other foot, I suggest you not finish that sentence.

Robin: Who-hoa! Uh, wh-what I mean to say, is that you girls are, uh, powerful, helpful, girls.

Stewie: Eh, I guess that's better, I suppose.

Blossom: Come on guys. We don't need the Titans help. It's obviously clear that they are not very good at their jobs.

Raven: Oh yeah? Then that sounds like a challenge.

Bubbles: How did that sound like a challenge?

Starfire: The Powerpuff Girls wish to determine which superhero team is superior.

Blossom: Let's be clear, this is not a competition.

Brian: Wait wait wait. Hold on. I know this isn't the best time, but this competition could do the Titans some good. Think about it, we can help them be better heroes.

Stewie: Plus, the three of us will be happy to keep score.

The girls huddled up for a moment and then broke it off.

Blossom: Very well then, we accept the challenge.

Glory: Then it's settled. The Powerpuff Girls versus the Teen Titans.

Buttercup: Alright, it's on. You dudes are goin' down.

Robin: You're the ones who are going down. So let the games begin! TITANS, GO!

Narrator: And so, the Titans and the Power...

Robin: Whoa Whoa Whoa! Stop right there.

Narrator: Robin has stopped the narrator from finishing his sentence.

Robin moved the "GO!" sign out of the way.

Robin: Let's do this right, for me. Describe my dramatic exit from this room.

Narrator: And so, with grim determination in his eye, Robin dramatically exited the room as the others looked on with concern for his well-being.

Robin jumped out of the window glass and had a big fall.

Starfire: Is Robin the okay?

Bubbles: I'm gonna say... no.

Stewie: My God. He looks worse than Brian when I kicked his ass.

**(Flashback)**

Stewie smashed a glass cup in Brian's face.

Brian: AAARGH! AAAARRRRGH!

Stewie: Did that hurt?

Brian: AARGH!

Stewie: That hurt?

Brian: WHAT THE HELL?! AAARGHH!

Stewie: Yeah, it don't feel so good, does it? No huh?

Stewie stomped on Brian's foot, punched him in the back twice, and throws Brian onto the floor.

Stewie: Yeah, that's what happens, man. (Kicks Brian)

Brian: OH MY GOD.

Stewie: Yeah, that's what happens.

Stewie kept kicking Brian on the floor.

Stewie: Where's (Punch) my money? (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) You gonna gimme (Punch) my money? Where's my money, (Punch) man?

Brian: AAAAAARRUUUGH! AUUGH!

Stewie grabbed a towel rack and continued hitting Brian.

Brian: AAGHH!

Stewie: (Hit) Where's the money? (Hit) (Hit)

Brian: AUUUUUHHH!

Stewie: (Hit)

Brian: AAARGHH!

Stewie: Yeah, you like that? (Hit) That feel good? That (Hit) feel good?

Stewie dragged Brian by his collar and shoved Brian's head in the toilet.

Brian: AAAAAAAAUUUUUGHH!

Stewie slammed the Toilet Lid on Brian's head.

Stewie: (Slam) Where's the money, (Slam) man? Where's my money?

He threw Brian on the floor so Brian can catch his breath. Stewie cleaned his hands with a towel.

Stewie: You got till five o'clock. You hear me? You got till 5 o'clock!

Brian: You freakin' psychopath!

Stewie: Yeah, clean yaself up.

He threw the towel on Brian and left.

**(Reality)**

Everyone stepped back from Stewie.

Stewie: What?

Buttercup: AUHAHA! You just got owned by a baby, Brian.

Brian: Yeah, let's not talk about it again.

**(Zoo)**

_"Monkey army" "Monkey monkey army" x2_

_"Monk, monk, monkey" x2_

_"Mon Mon Mon Mon Mon Mon"_

_"It's an army" "There are monkeys" "and it's an army"_

_"Monkey army" "Monkey monkey army" x2_

During the song, Mojo, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and some monkeys were building Mojo a new lair.

Mojo: (Yawn)

Mojo was so tired, he tried to rest in a tire swing.

Beast Boy: Aw, Magic Monkey can't keep up with us, yo.

Mojo: So tired. But must finish evil plan.

Beast Boy: Don't worry, we'll finish your monkey army.

Cyborg: Yeah. We're your mojo brobros.

Mojo: (Yawn) So nice to have such loyal brobros.

And with that, he fell asleep.

Mojo: (Snore) Evil, evil, evil.

Beast Boy: Aw, he's all tuckered out.

Cyborg: I love you, Magic Monkey.

Cyborg kissed Mojo on his closed eye.

**(Titans Tower at night)**

Back at the Tower, the rest of Robin's body was covered with bandages after taking a fall.

Robin: Alright everyone, we have one lead. This note. It's the key to tracking Beast Boy and Cyborg. Which one of you kids wants to go toe to toe with the master investigator?

Blossom: I will.

Robin: Alright Blossom. You're goin' down.

Robin, Blossom, and the trio head towards the Titans Lab. In the lab, the trio were sitting at a judges table in the back to observe.

Robin: I will analyze this note for a clue.

He looked all over the note and even licked it, which helped him find a piece of hair on his tongue.

Robin: A-ha! A microscopic hair particle. All I have to do is extract a DNA sample, then cross-reference the data with all known organic life forms and their pattern...

Blossom: Give me that.

She yanked the note from Robin's hand.

Blossom: Hmm.

She saw that the note also says "PS, We're at the Zoo."

Blossom: They're at the zoo.

Robin closed his laptop with a grumpy look on his face.

Blossom: Judges?

Robin and Blossom turned to the Judges in the back of the room. From left to right, there's Brian, then Glory, then Stewie.

Brian: Robin, how can you seriously not see the P.S. on the note? You call yourself a hero? Skrew you, pal. Blossom has my vote.

Glory: That was the most easiest clue ever, Robin. I say you have a brain like the size as your baby hands. Starfire and Raven told me. Blossom, you got my vote too.

Stewie: Robin,... you suck.

Blossom: Ha! In your face.

Robin crossed his arms in disappointment.

Scoreboard: Powerpuff Girls: 1 Teen Titans: 0

The next day, the Titans, PPGs, and the FG trio hid behind a car in the parking lot at the zoo where two gorillas are guarding the entrance.

Blossom: (Whisper) Mojo's guards.

Bubbles: Leave it to me. I'll kill 'em with kindness.

Starfire: I will murder them with the kindness.

Bubbles: Oh yeah? I'll punch their teeth out with kindness.

Starfire: Then I will tie them to a chair in the basement with the kindness.

Bubbles: Yeah? I'll shatter their bones with kindness.

They floated in the air.

Starfire: Then let us commence. After you.

Bubbles: After you.

Starfire: No no. After the you.

Bubbles: After you!

Starfire: I insist! After the you!

Starfire and Bubbles: You! You! You! You! You! You! You! You! You! You!

Starfire: I SAID AFTER THE YOU!

With rage, Starfire shot green beams from her eyes. And then, Bubbles used her to aim the beams at the gorilla guards, which knocked them out.

Bubbles: Judges?

Brian: Nice job, Bubbles. Using Starfire as a weapon? That was genius. Oh man, you won that one.

Glory: Bubbles, I have to say that that was incredibly amazing. I've never seen anything like it before. So, it is with great pride that I, Glory Griffin, will give you my vote.

Stewie has hearts in his eyes.

Stewie: Bubbles, you most definitely got my vote as well.

Bubbles giggled at Stewie's comment.

Starfire: Oh the drat.

Scoreboard: Powerpuff Girls: 2 Teen Titans: 0

At the entrance, the hall was filled with droids.

Buttercup: I'll handle these defenses.

Buttercup sped towards the droids. They shot lasers at her, but Buttercup dodged every one of them. She was moving fast left and right throwing punches at the droids, and even crushed one with her head.

Starfire: Are you not going to participate?

Raven: I just remembered, I don't care.

And with one kick, she destroyed a big droid laser thing.

Buttercup: Judges?

Brian: YEEEAAAHH!

Glory: THAT WAS AWESOME!

Stewie: BUTTERCUP! BUTTERCUP! BUTTERCUP!

Glory: YOU TOTALLY KICK ASS!

Brian: ALRI... ahem.

They calmed for a second to add up their scores.

Trio: And the winners are... The Powerpuff Girls.

Scoreboard: Powerpuff Girls: 3 Teen Titans: 0

Buttercup: Yeah!

Bubbles: Woo hoo!

Blossom: Alright!

Bubbles and Blossom hi-fived.

Buttercup: We just won your dumb competition.

Robin: It wasn't a competition.

Starfire: How very immature.

Raven: What do you expect? They're babies.

The girls and the trio gave angry looks at the titans.

Stewie: Did you hear that? Did you hear that piece of crap they just said?

Glory: Damn those Titans.

Brian: I can't believe this. They just denied it just like that. Like Quagmire when he has kids of his own.

(Flashback)

At the Quahog zoo, a giraffe gave birth to a baby giraffe with Quagmire's face.

Baby: Giraffity!

Quagmire: Yeah, see, that's not mine.

**(Mojo's Lair)**

Mojo: Hehehehehe. Now it is time to unveil my army of cybernetically enhanced battle monkeys.

He pulled a lever which opened a huge door, and behind the door was an army of party monkeys.

_"Monkey party" "Monkey monkey party" x2_

Mojo: What? You said you were going to finish my monkey army.

Beast Boy: We did.

Cyborg: It's an army of party monkeys.

Mojo: Mojo is NOT PLEASED.

An Alarm was blaring.

Mojo: What now?

He saw the Titans, the FG trio, and the Powerpuff Girls on the monitor.

Mojo: The Powerpuff Girls! This time, I shall be ready. When the Powerpuff Girls enter my lair, I, Mojo Jojo, will unleash upon them my entire supply of Powerpuff Girl repellant. And destroy them once and for all. And you two shall be the bait for my trap.

A huge cage dropped on Beast Boy and Cyborg.

Narrator: Oh no, a trap! And the good guys are headed straight for it.

Robin: What? A trap?

They stopped running and flying for a moment.

Robin: Hold on, it's the narrator again.

Raven: He's not telling you to do things, is he?

Robin: No, that would be crazy. He tells me the things I do.

Stewie: Need I remind you that he's the Powerpuff Girls narrator, not yours.

Brian: I heard him too. It sounds like Mojo knows that we're coming.

Glory: And he's already set up a trap for you girls.

Robin: Not to worry. I've got a plan.

Three shadowy figures that look like the Powerpuff Girls burst through the walls of Mojo's lair and spotted Beast Boy and Cyborg. With went up to them quietly without realizing that there's a target on the floor.

Mojo: Just a little closer.

They stepped on the target.

Mojo: That's it!

He pushed the button and the figured got sprayed with the repellent coming from above them.

Mojo: MWAHAHAHAHA! Oh yes! Yes! The Powerpuff Girls are no more.

When the green fog cleared, the figures revealed to be the Teen Titans. Robin was dressed like Blossom, Raven was dressed like Buttercup, and Starfire was dressed like Bubbles.

Mojo: You are not the Powerpuff Girls.

Blossom: No, but we are.

The real girls were behind Mojo.

Bubbles: Surprise!

The girls threw a few punches and kicks and defeated Mojo.

Mojo: Ow.

Bubbles: We did it!

PPG: Yay!

Glory: Yes.

Stewie: That was so epic.

Brian: You girls totally kick ass.

Robin: You girls might look like harmless, adorable babies, but you really are superheroes. You're smart, strong, and your hearts are true. That monkey didn't stand a chance.

Blossom: Well, we couldn't have done it without you.

Starfire: (Gasp) She has admitted it!

Raven: I knew it.

Robin: Looks like the Teen Titans win after all! Boom!

Bubbles: Wow. Really?

Buttercup: No wonder Mojo came here. This place is the worst.

Cyborg: Magic Monkey. I know we should be mad at you right now, but it is super cute when you talk.

Stewie: So, you three are just gonna say that you've won just like that. Is that correct?

Robin: You know it.

Stewie: Well then, I guess you Titans aren't really worth LIVING.

Stewie pulled out a ray gun and zapped the three Titans into ashes.

PPG, Glory, and Brian: AAAAAAAUUUUGHH!

Brian: Stewie, what the Hell!? You've killed them.

Stewie: Eh, I still feel like I've done worse.

**(Flashback)**

Brian came out of the bathroom with a fake mustache.

Brian: Mornin'.

Stewie: Good day to you, sir. Hey wait a minute! What the hell?!

Brian: Oh-h-h-h-

Stewie ran after Brian and pushed him down the stairs.

Brian: Aaargh! Oh-ow-ow-ugh! Ohh...

Stewie started hitting Brian with a golf club.

Stewie: Gettin' real tired of you duckin' me, man! (Hit) Huh?

Brian: Oh my God!

Stewie: (Hit) Yeah, (Hit) gettin' really tired. (Hit) Huh?

Brian: Ogh! Arg-argh!

Stewie: (Hit) Where's my money? (Hit) Where's my money? (Hit)

Brian: AAARGH!

Stewie: Yeah, you got money to pay for fake mustaches, huh?

Stewie moved Brian's head up with his golf club.

Stewie: Yeah, uh-huh. How much did you pay for that fake mustache?

Brian: $2.99.

Stewie shot Brian's right knee with a gun.

Brian: AAAAARRRUUUUGGHH! Ow! UGH! Oh..! Listen, you just gotta gimme more ti...

Stewie shot Brian's other knee.

Brian: AAAAAUUGGGHH!

Stewie started hitting Brian in the face with his gun.

Stewie: Don't make a fool outta me, man. (Hit) (Hit) Don't make a fool outta me. (Hit) (Hit) (Hit) I want my money. (Hit) I want my money, man.

Brian tried crawling away.

Brian: Stewie, listen, this is crazy. You got... OH MY GOD!

Stewie used a flamethrower and shot flames at Brian.

Brian: AAAARRRGGHHH! AAAGGHH-AGHH!

The flames extinguished itself and Stewie went to Brian.

Brian: Alright, let's go the bank.

**(Reality)**

Buttercup: HAHA! You just got owned again.

Stewie: Besides Brian, they'll be back sooner than you think. Girls, grab Mojo.

The girls tied up Mojo and Stewie turned on his return pad. After they all stepped on Stewie's return pad, they were zapped away.

**(Jump City)**

At Titans Tower, Past Cyborg was playing a game and Past Beast Boy was reading a comic book. All of a sudden, Stewie and the gang appeared right before their eyes.

Past Cyborg: (Gasp) Oh snap, BB. It's a baby football.

Past Beast Boy: Aw snap, let's play with it.

Stewie: Yeah, I don't have time for this.

Stewie jumped on the couch and knocked Cyborg and Beast Boy out with his gun.

Blossom: Uh, Stewie, any reason why we're in the past?

Stewie: Yes. You see, to prevent all of this from happening, I'm gonna make sure Mojo never made his army here in the first place.

Buttercup: And just how are you gonna do that?

Stewie: You'll see.

Just then, Past Mojo appeared right in front of Mojo, the Powerpuff Girls, and the FG trio. When he appeared, Stewie pointed his gun at him.

Stewie: GET THE (Bleep) BACK TO YOUR DIMENSION!

Past Mojo: Whoa! Whoa! Who are you?

Stewie: NEVER MIND WHO I AM! I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE AND IT'S NOT HAPPENING! NOW GET OUT OF THIS DIMENSION, GET BACK TO YOUR WORLD, AND STAY THERE!

Past Mojo: I am Mojo Jojo! An evil genius, like myself, refuses to listen to such...

Stewie pulled the trigger and shot Past Mojo's left knee.

Past Mojo: AAAAAUUUGH!

All except Stewie: AAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

Stewie: You wanna keep flappin' your lips, or are you gonna do as I say?

Past Mojo: Okay, okay. Mojo out!

He pressed a button on his wristwatch and zapped his way back to his world.

Blossom: That... was totally unexpected.

Brian: Yeah, what was the point of that, Stewie?

Stewie: The point was not only preventing me from killing the Titans, but to prevent Mojo's army. So, in short, this timeline's gonna be erased in a few moments, and we better get back to our worlds.

Glory: Then what are we waitin' for? Let's go.

The Powerpuff Girls, the trio, and the tied up Mojo stepped on the return pad. Stewie set the coordinates on his remote and pushed the button. The return pad had a white static aura around it and everyone on it. And with that, they turned into a white beam and shot up through the roof. When it reached the sky, it disappeared and left behind a twinkle in the sky.

**(Mojo's Lair)**

In a white flash explosion, the Powerpuff Girls appeared with their Mojo.

PPG: ~Uuuuhh~

Mojo: ~Uuuuhh~

Buttercup: ~That was awesome~

Blossom: ~I think I'm gonna be sick~

The girls shook it off.

Blossom: Alright Mojo, it's jail time for you.

Brian: What the Hell?!

Blossom and Buttercup looked behind them and saw Brian and Glory.

Blossom: Brian? Glory? What are you two doing here?

Glory: We don't know. And where's Stewie?

Buttercup: Yeah, and where's Bubbles?

They looked around and found nothing.

Brian: Why that son of a bitch!

Glory: Wait, you don't think he...

Brian: Oh, he did.

They exchanged some looks and know what happened.

Blossom, Buttercup, Brian, and Glory: STEWIIIIIIEE!

**(Stewie's Room)**

It was dark in Stewie's room with the curtains closed. There were candles everywhere and Stewie and Bubbles were dancing to some romantic music.

Stewie: This is quite nice, isn't it?

Bubbles: It sure is, Stewie.

Stewie: So, Bubbles, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Bubbles: Yes I do.

They held each other's hands, and their heads leaned in closer, and closer, and closer...

Stewie and Bubbles: (Excited) LET'S DO THE BOOTY SCOOTY!

Stewie's room transformed into a stage and the entire cast ran on it as the audience applaud. Cyborg pressed his chest and music played.

_"BOOOOTY!"_

Everybody on stage started twerking their booties. Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, and their neighbors.

_"Scoot your booty, that booty, Now do the booty scooty"_

Then the Titans.

_"Scoot your booty, that booty, Now do the booty scooty"_

Then the Powerpuff Girls and Mojo.

_"Scoot your booty, that booty, Now do the booty scooty"_

Then Stewie, Brian, and Glory.

_"Scoot your booty, that booty, Now do the booty scooty"_

Audience: _"Scoot scoot scoot that booty booty" "Scoot scoot scoot that booty booty"_

And then all of them together.

_"Scoot your booty, that booty, Now do the booty scooty" "Scoot your booty, that booty, Now do the booty scooty" "BOOOOTY!"_

The entire audience applaud to them all as they took a bow.

Stewie: Ah, thank you. Thank you. You've been such a wonderful audience tonight. Oh, thank you so much.

Glory: We had so much fun tonight. Thank you. Uh, we would like to thank everybody here. Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup, Robin, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy.

Brian: And, uh, we'd also like to thank Mojo Jojo for being such a good sport.

Stewie: Oh yeah. Thank you all so so much. Good night everybody.

The audience gave them one last applause.

Narrator: And so, once again, the day is saved. Thanks to the Family Guy Trio. Oh, uh, and the Powerpuff Girls. But no thanks to the Teen Titans. Seriously, what is wrong with those guys?


	11. Road to Canterlot

On Spooner Street, the Griffins drove up on their driveway. After parking the car, Peter entered the Griffin home wearing a sombrero, followed by Glory.

Peter: Ah, what a great trip to Mexico! Was it a great trip, Glory? Huh? Huh? Was it great? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Glory: Uh, dad, we didn't go to Mexico. We just went to the Mall, you specifically bought that sombrero, wore it the whole trip back home, and then came in the house in that sombrero to asked me how Mexico was.

Peter: (Whine) Well excuse me for tryin' to have an imaginary good time.

After that, he ran upstairs crying before Brian entered the house.

Glory: What's up with dad, Brian?

Brian: Ah, he's still upset about what happened at the mall. See, while you were making out with your boyfriend...

Glory: Yeeeeeaaaaaahhh!

Brian: Oh my God! There was one last bag of funyons Peter wanted, but then this other guy took 'em after bending Peter's thumb.

Glory: Wow! All that for a bag of chips?

Brian: Yeah. He hasn't felt this hurt since he was Miss Piggy's manager.

**(Flashback)**

Peter ran up to Miss Piggy.

Peter: Miss Piggy, I got some great news. Now, I got you some auditions for three movies. You'll audition for the role of Fat Albert in Fat Albert the Movie. Uh, Ursula who dies at the end of the remake of the Little Mermaid, and, uh, one of the ugly stepsisters in Cinderella. So when you audition for these three parts, you basically gotta act like my daughter, Meg, like you always do in real life.

She slapped Peter to the ground with her purse.

Peter: OW!

She started punching Peter while he's on the ground.

Peter: AAAHH! OW! OW! AAAUUGH!

She even kicked and stomped on Peter with her high heel shoes. When she stopped, she spit on Peter.

Miss Piggy: You're fired, bitch! (Exit)

**(Reality)**

The rest of the Griffins entered the house.

Lois: Okay kids, who wants a fresh homemade Pizza tonight?

Chris, Meg, Stewie, and Glory: YAAAAAAAY!

Their celebration was cut short when they saw the news.

Announcer: We now return to Channel 5 News.

Tom: Good afternoon Quahog, I'm Tom Tucker. In local news, it's that time again where Quahog resident Mort Goldman and his entire family are about to pop their huge back zits. Any moment now, the entire town will be one big gross zone. What do you think of it, Ollie?

Ollie: IT'S GONNA BE NASTY!

Tom: And how will you survive?

Ollie: HIDIN' IN THE SEWERS!

Tom: Any food, Ollie?

Ollie: YES!

Tom: What Kind?

Ollie: BAGELS!

Tom: Thanks Ollie. And now this.

Chris, Meg, and Stewie: AWWWWWW!

Lois: I'm sorry kids, I'm afraid the pizza will have to wait.

Chris: Ah, this sucks. I really wanted that pizza.

Lois: I know, Chris. Why don't you go masterbate? Maybe that'll make you feel better.

Chris: I'll try.

Meg: Me too.

Chris: Gross.

Lois, Meg, and Chris went upstairs in disappointment.

Glory: Uh, what's going on?

Stewie: Oh, see every few years, Mort and his entire family pop their huge back zits, and then the whole town gets flooded with Jewish zit puss; including the buildings. A-And it's not just Mort's family, i-it's pretty much every single Jew in Quahog.

Glory: Ew, gross. I don't wanna be here when that happens.

Brian: Yeah, me either. It cost the town millions of dollars for the whole town to get cleaned, which will only take about three to four months.

Stewie: That's sort of a way to put it, Brian. You see guys, I made a powerful sucking machine for the government to clean the entire town with, which will only take about two days. The only down side is that a malfunction in the machine will cause time in this dimension to slow down, which will take three to four months. Either way, we're still gonna have a long gross lifetime.

Glory: Damn, that's a lose lose situation for us. We can't win. What are we gonna do?

Stewie: Hmmm! Well, if time was normal here, it'll be two days before this town is clean. So, if we were to spend the next two days in another dimension, the time in this dimension will accelerate. Hey I know, how 'bout we take another trip to Equestria? Oh, I missed those pretty pretty ponies with ridiculous names.

Glory: Yeah, good idea, Stewie! It's been a long while since we've been there, anyway. What do ya say, Brian?

Brian: Gee, I dunno. Last time we were there, Rarity nearly killed us from when she was dressing us up. For a whole week, I had nightmares that we were being raped.

Stewie: Well then, maybe Glory and I will just go and you can drown in Jewish puss.

The trio heard a huge pop sound coming from outside.

Stewie: And speak of the devil.

The trio ran outside on the street where there was grey clouds in the sky and a bit of a strong wind. They witnessed a flood of puss heading towards them.

Stewie: Your choice, Bri. It's gonna be either Rape or Jewish puss flood?

Brian: On second thought, I feel like I wanna be raped.

Glory: Equestria, here we come.

They ran back inside and closed the door before the flood passed up their house.

A mix of Jazzy Family Guy Music, the Family Guy theme song, and the MLP FIM theme song played in the background.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows the screen that says "Road to Canterlot"

_"Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh..."_

The third shows the trio having fun throwing pies at each other.

_"It seems today...that all you see...is violence in Movies..."_

The fourth shows the trio in the middle of a ballet class.

_"...and sex on TV." "But where are those good old fashioned values?"_

The fifth shows the trio and the Mane Six jumping off an exploding building.

_"On which we used to relyahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh..." "My Little Pony"_

The sixth shows a versus screen. The Griffins vs The Mane Six.

_"I used to wonder what friendship could be" "My Little Pony"_

The seventh shows the trio skydiving from Cloudsdale.

_"Until you all shared its magic with me" "Lucky there's a Family Guy."_

The eighth shows the trio, the Mane Six, and Spike ice skating on a frozen lake in winter.

_"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us..."_

The ninth shows the trio screaming because they're trapped in a Daring Do book.

_"Laugh and Cry!" "Big adventure" "Tons of fun" "A beautiful heart"_

The tenth shows the Mane Six and the trio as anime characters.

_"Faithful and strong" "Sharing kindness!" "It's an easy feat" "And magic..."_

The eleventh shows the trio running from Fluttershy, who was giving them 'The Stare'.

_"...makes it all complete. You have my little ponies" "He's...a..."_

The twelfth shows Stewie using his ray gun to zap some Changelings as they run away.

_"Fam...ily..." "Do you know you're all my very best..."_

The thirteenth shows the trio and the Mane Six going up against Queen Chrysalis.

_"Guuuuuuy/frieeeeeends"_

And the final one shows everyone happy at Shining Armor and Princess Cadance's wedding.

**(Equestria)**

Outside, in some sort of meadow, the ponies were having a picnic.

Rarity: Ahh!

Spike is running towards his friends.

Rarity: It is gorgeous out. Just gorgeous!

He's still running. Rainbow Dash is eating a sandwich and Applejack's drinking water. Twilight was just about to eat an apple until Spike finally arrived.

Spike: Twi..light. I...have...let me just...

He was catching his breath before burping out green fire and a letter. Twilight used her magic to open the letter and started reading it.

Twilight: 'Dear Twilight, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot.' Wedding? 'I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Fluttershy, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music.'

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness! What an honor!

Twilight: 'Pinkie Pie, I can think of no one more qualified than you to host the reception.'

Pinkie did a cartwheel which flipped over a tea cup and left a hoof print on a cake.

Pinkie Pie: Hip, hip, hooray!

Twilight: 'Applejack, you will be in charge of the catering for the reception.'

Applejack: Well, color me pleased as punch!

Twilight: 'Rainbow Dash...'

Rainbow Dash: (Yawn)

Twilight: '...I would very much appreciate it if you could perform a sonic rainboom as the bride and groom complete their I do's.'

She got excited and flew up in the air.

Rainbow Dash: (Excited) Yes!

Twilight: 'Rarity, you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids.'

Rarity's jaw dropped and her eyes widened after hearing that.

Rarity: Princess Celestia wants me to... wedding dress? For a Canterlot wedding... I, ah, ooh, oooh!

She was so excited and woozy, she fainted on the grass.

Twilight: 'And as for you, Twilight, you will be playing the most important role of all: Making sure that everything goes as planned. See you all very soon. Yours, Princess Celestia.'

She checked all over the letter for more info.

Twilight: But... I don't understand. Who's getting married?

Spike: Oh, wait! Uh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first.

He held up another letter and Twilight read it.

Twilight: 'Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and...' (Gasp) My brother?!

All except Twilight: (Gasp)

Suddenly, a white flash explosion appeared before their very eyes. They were coughing and waving their hooves to clear the smoke. When the smoke cleared, they saw the trio standing. This time, they weren't dizzy.

Brian: Phew. Thank God we're not dizzy this time.

Stewie turned off the return pad and put it in his blue backpack.

Stewie: Oh, oh sure, Brian. Th-that's nice. Thank the big guy for not making us dizzy. Even though I'm the one who's done all the work, but y-ya know what, it's cool. It's cool, Brian. Let God take credit for all the crappy work that 'I've' done.

Glory: Uh, you guys, look who's over there.

She pointed to her left and the trio looked about 20 feet in front of them and spotted the Equestrians.

Pinkie Pie: Hey look, it's Stewie!

Rainbow Dash: And Brian!

Rarity: And glamorous Glory!

Glory: Looks like they're happy to see us, Brian.

Brian: As long as Rarity doesn't dress us up again, she's okay with me.

Stewie starts getting all giddy and excited.

Stewie: Oohh my God, oh my God, oh my God! This is so exciting.

Stewie started running to the ponies while waving.

Stewie: Hello, ponies. It's so awesome to see you all aga...

He was running too fast, Stewie fell over and broke his nose. The second after that happened, the screen went black and white, and Stewie rolled onto his back in slow motion. When he was facing up, his nose was bleeding and his eyes were wide opened.

**(WASTED)**

One second later, Stewie was somehow in front of the Ponyville Hospital.

{Stewie's Money: $50,017 minus $50,000 equals $17}

Stewie: Un...(Bleep)in'...believable.

After he started walking, a loading screen appeared. It showed Stewie, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie running from Spike as a grown up, fierce, fire breathing dragon while holding Rarity with his tail.

Dbzfreak60: Okay, let's go back to the part where Stewie gets excited.

Stewie starts getting all giddy and excited.

Stewie: Oohh my God, oh my God, oh my God! This is so exciting.

Stewie started running to the ponies while waving.

Stewie: Hello, ponies. It's so awesome to see you all aga...

He slowed down his speed.

Stewie: Whoa, wait a minute. Let's not repeat last time.

Stewie and the others made it to the ponies and dragon and they all hugged.

Pinkie Pie: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I missed you guys so much. Did you guys missed me as much as I missed you? Because I'd missed me if I was far away for a long time. Like my family on the rock farm. Oh I missed them so much like I did missing you guys and you guys missing me. Did you guys missed me?

The trio had wide-opened eyes and were completely speechless as Pinkie Pie gave them a huge smile on her face.

Stewie: Uuuuhhhh!

Brian: S-sure, Pinkie.

Pinkie smiled with her eyes closed and hopped back to her friends.

Rarity: Oh, it's so nice to see you three again. It's been so long.

Stewie: Yes, it has. We haven't seen you all since the season finale of your first season.

The ponies looked at each other in confusion.

Fluttershy: Um, what?

Brian: Uh, nothing. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Uh, he maybe smart, but he's still a baby.

Rainbow Dash: Alright. So, what brings you guys back here in Equestria?

Glory: Well, you see, our entire town's flooded with Jewish puss. So we're gonna stay here for the next two days.

The ponies and dragon were grossed out.

Rainbow Dash: Eer... Sorry I asked.

Glory: Yeah, and sorry for answerin'. I should've said 'you don't wanna know.' Maybe telling you guys what really happened wasn't the best option. Oh well, so what's going on here?

Applejack: Well we got some great news. Apparently, Twilight's brother's gettin' married?

Stewie: We didn't know Twilight has a brother.

Glory: And he's getting married too? That's wonderful!

Brian: Well congratulations, Twilight! That's incredible great news, right?

Twilight: (Sarcasm) Yeah, great news.

The trio sensed a little tension from Twilight.

Brian: Um, okay?

Twilight: I'm glad to see you three again, but I'm afraid you came at a bad time, for me. It just bothers me that I got a wedding invitation from a piece of paper instead of from my own brother! (Sarcasm) Thanks a lot, Shining Armor. I mean, really, it would've been nice for my own brother to tell me personally.

She used her magic to pick up a sandwich and used it as a puppet while deepening her voice, trying to imitate her brother.

Twilight: Hey, Twilight, just thought you should know I'm making a really big decision that changes everything. Oh, never mind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation.

Stewie: Okay, I'm getting a little kind of frightened right about now.

Twilight: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Who in the hoof is that?! (Snort)

Everyone took a step backwards from Twilight, except for Fluttershy and Glory.

Fluttershy: Um, Twilight? Are you okay?

Glory: Yeah Twilight, you're becoming more scarier than my last Halloween costume.

**(Flashback)**

Peter was in his room secretly eating Halloween candy.

Peter: *munch* *munch* *munch* Oh yeah! *munch* *munch* *munch* Oh, this is so good. *munch* *munch* I wanna plow this candy so hard right now. *munch* *munch*

Glory entered the room dressed like Meg.

Glory: Hey dad.

Peter wiped his mouth and hid the candy underneath his bed.

Peter: Oh, hehe, hi Glory.

Glory: Do you like my costume?

Peter: AAAAAUUU! AAAAAGHH! HAAAAUUUG!

He smashed his face on the wall three times, slapped himself, lit himself on fire, and jumped out the window; leaving Glory all shocked.

Glory: I'm gonna say... no. Ah, what the heck! I'll probably scare people into giving me even more candy.

All of a sudden, Chris came in the room.

Chris: Hey Dad, what was that noise?

Glory: Huh?

Chris: AAAAAUUU! AAAAAGHH! AAAAUUUGH!

He smashed his face on the wall, slapped himself, lit himself on fire, and jumped out the window just like Peter did.

**(Reality)**

The ponies and dragon began laughing their butts off.

Rainbow Dash: Psst. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pinkie Pie: AAUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Glory: That's right, laugh it up.

Applejack: Hehehehe!

Spike: Hehehe! HAHAHA!

Stewie: Yes, yes. Enjoy the laughter.

They all calmed down from the laughing.

Fluttershy: (Clears Throat) Boy, that was really funny!

Rarity: Whew! Indeed it was. Oh, I simply adore those hilarious flashbacks of yours.

Glory: Well prepare your laughs for later, 'cause there'll be even more flashbacks where that came from.

Stewie noticed that Twilight was the only one not laughing.

Stewie: Oh, come on, Twilight. Not even our Cutaways are getting you in a good mood? What the Hell?!

Glory: I'm guessing this whole thing about her brother has really got her thinking. Isn't that right?

Twilight: Yes. I still just wish he'd tell me in person. In the past, Shining Armor and I have always been so close. He's my B.B.B.F.F!

Everyone paused for a minute.

Stewie: Um?!

Brian: Wh-what?!

She rolled her eyes.

Twilight: Big Brother Best Friend Forever?

Ponies, Spike, and Trio: Ohhh!

Stewie: That's more clear to us now.

Twilight: Before I came here and learned the importance of friendship, Shining Armor was the only pony I ever really accepted as a friend.

While music was playing in the background, a bird flew on Twilight's hoof and she nuzzled it before letting it fly away.

Brian: God, does every single pony in this world sing a lot?

Stewie: Hey, not cool, Bri. I for one love the pony music here.

Glory: Yeah, Brian, don't be such a hater. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the song.

Brian shrugged his shoulders with a smile and sat on the grass in between Stewie and Glory.

_"When I was just a filly, I found it rather silly"_

_"To see how many other ponies I could meeeet"_

_"I had my books to read, didn't know that I would ever need"_

_"Other ponies to make my life compleeeete"_

_"But there was one colt that I cared for"_

_"I knew he would be there fooor meee"_

_"My big brother, best friend forever!"_

_"Like two peas in a pod, we did everything together"_

_"He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!)"_

_"We never had a single fight (We did everything together!)"_

_"We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams"_

_"I miss him more than I realized"_

_"It seems..."_

Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: _"Your big brother, best friend forever" "Like two peas in a pod, you did everything together"_

_"And though he's, oh, so far away"_

_"I hoped that he would staaay"_

_"My big brother best frieeeennd"_

_"Foreveeeerr..."_

_"Foreveeerrr..."_

She released a tear as the trio were wiping tears from their eyes.

Glory: That was... just beautiful.

Brian: I-I know! (Sniff) I don't know why I even doubted pony songs.

Stewie: If only Rupert were here, we could share this delightful moment. And possibly share even more.

After AJ laughed at the trio on the inside, she walked over to Twilight and placed her hoof on her.

Applejack: Listen Twi, as one of your P.F.F.A.F.F.A.W.'s...

Everyone paused for a moment again.

Glory: Say what now?!

Applejack: Pony Friends Forever And Friends From Another World...

Ponies, Spike, and Trio: Ohhh!

Glory: Got it!

Applejack: ...I wanna tell you that I think your brother sounds like a real good guy.

Twilight: He is pretty special. I mean, they don't just let anypony be captain of the Royal Guard.

Rarity quickly rushed over next to Twilight.

Rarity: So let me get this straight. We're helping out with the wedding of not only a princess, but a captain of the Royal Guard?

Twilight: I guess we are.

Rarity was excited and woozy, she fainted on a pillow thanks to Twilight and her magic. The ponies started chatting about the wedding until Spike burped out another letter. The trio were speechless when they saw that.

Glory: Um... what was that?

Spike: Oh, see, Princess Celestia brings us letters this way.

Brian: You mean, through your body? That-that seems kinda weird and unsafe. D-doesn't she ever use the post office or something?

Spike: Nah, this way is much more faster.

Brian: Oh, okay.

Twilight used her magic to open the letter.

Twilight: Actually, this isn't just a letter, it's a letter for you three.

Stewie: Really? A letter from the Princess? For us? No kidding!

Glory: What's it say?

Twilight: (Clears throat) 'Dear Stewie, Brian, and Glory, I sensed your presence and would like to welcome you three back to Equestria. I am sure Twilight and her friends have told you about the upcoming wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor. So it is with great pride that I invite you three to the wedding in Canterlot as the three guests of honor. If you like, you're free to help out with the preparations for this wonderful occasion until the wedding day. I will be most Graceful so see you there. Yours, Princess Celestia.'

Glory: She wants us... to be the guests of honor... at a royal wedding?

Applejack: Sure sounds like it. So what do ya'll say?

Brian: Well, I think I speak for the three of us when I say it sounds pretty damn good to us.

Rainbow Dash: Then what are we waiting for? Let's get to Canterlot right away! We got a wedding to prepare for.

Everyone except Twilight jumped in the air and cheered "YAY"!

Stewie: Oh my God, this is so exciting, being the guest of honor at a royal wedding. I haven't had a feeling like this since the time I won that Bowling Tournament.

**(Flashback)**

At a bowling alley, Stewie was in a blue shirt and white shorts. He focused and rolled the ball down the lane. At the end, the ball knocked over all the pins. After winning a perfect game, his team of shirtless, muscular guys cheered for Stewie and lifted him in the air as they walked along.

Teammates: Stewie! Stewie! Stewie!

Stewie: Hehehehe! Easy fellas. Now, if you all can just let me down very gently, I'm sure we can celebrate our victory in some other manner.

**(Reality)**

The trio, Mane Six, and Spike were having a train ride to Canterlot. Some of them like sticking their heads out the windows, especially Brian.

Glory: This is so exciting, Stewie. We get to be the guests of honor at a royal wedding. I just can't get it outta my head. I mean how awesome is that?

Stewie: Awesomely awesome, Glory! I mean this is quite a great opportunity for us. Think about it. Guests of honor, at a royal wedding, in another dimension?

Glory: I know right? It's gonna be so cool!

The two looked at the other side of the train and saw the ponies and Brian with their heads out the windows.

Glory: Hey, you think Brian likes the idea as much as we do?

Stewie: Gee, I dunno. Either that's why he's in a good mood, or that he just like the wind blowin' at his face.

They saw Brian sticking his head out the window with his tongue hanging out his mouth.

Rainbow Dash: A sonic rainboom? At a wedding?! Can you say 'best wedding ever'?!

Pinkie and Brian took a deep breath and yelled...

Pinkie Pie and Brian: BEST WEDDING EVER!

Their voices echoed as the train passed through a tunnel.

Brian: YEAH!

He and Pinkie Pie hi-fived.

Spike: So you all get to help with the big fancy wedding, but I'm the one who gets to host the bachelor party! I have just one question. What's a bachelor party?

The ponies and the trio just laughed, except for Twilight, who was sitting by herself while looking out the window. AJ noticed this and went to go talk to her.

Applejack: Why the long face, sugarcube?

Twilight: I'm just thinking about Shining Armor. Ever since I moved to Ponyville, we've been seeing each other less and less. And now that he's starting a new family with this 'Princess Mi Amore Ca-whatshername', we'll probably never see each other.

Applejack: Come on now. You're his sister. He'll always make time for you.

Twilight: Couldn't seem to make time to tell me he was getting married.

She used her magic to angrily slide down the curtain. Moments later, they made it to Canterlot, where the whole town was protected by a huge pink sphere.

Pinkie Pie: We're here, we're here!

The train passed through the pink sphere in between two guards guarding the entrance with spears. Going through the sphere gave the trio chills running down their spines. When the train stopped at the station, they exited the train and were surprised to see a whole lot of guards there.

Rainbow Dash: Whoa, what's with all the guards?

Glory: Yeah. Last time we were in Canterlot, there were zero guards.

Rarity: I'm sure they're just taking the necessary precautions. Royal weddings do bring out the strangest ponies.

Pinkie Pie sneezed out confetti from her nose.

Stewie: I suppose that could be example number one?

Rarity: Exactly.

Pinkie happily walked off along with Fluttershy. Twilight was the last one off the train.

Rarity: Now, let's get going! We've got work to do!

Applejack: And you've got a big brother to go congratulate.

Twilight: Yeah. Congratulate. And then give him a piece of my mind.

Still in a bitter mood, Twilight walked past in between two guards, leaving the others behind with confused looks.

Glory: Geez, is Twilight always like this?

Fluttershy: Well um... sometimes, when she's... in the mood. But she's still a good friend.

Stewie: Okay, no offence Fluttershy, but I'm starting to like Twilight a little better when she was a bit nicer.

Brian: Yeah, no kidding. I tell ya, she's becoming more intense than Peter when he met Timer the Cheese Guy.

**(Flashback)**

Timer: _"I hanker for a hunk of" "A slab, a slice, a chunk of" "I hanker for a hunk of cheese!" When your get up and go has got up and went..."_

His song was interrupted when he heard someone banging on his door. He opened it and it was Peter.

Timer: Howdy partner!

Peter: Uh, yeah, pardon me sir, I live next door. It is three-thirty in the morning. I am very tired.

Timer: Look, a wagon wheel!

Peter: What the hell is your problem?

Timer: I just smoked a whole bunch of crack!

**(Reality)**

While Princess Celestia was watching everywhere with a telescope from the balcony of the highest tower, Twilight was arriving at the Royal Guards castle, which has guards all over the place. Twilight saw her brother on top of the castle.

Twilight: I've got something to say to you, mister.

On top of the castle, Guards were pointing their spears at Twilight, until her brother saw her.

Shining Armor: Twily!

He ran downstairs to the ground to see his sister.

Shining Armor: Ah, I've missed you, kid. How was the train ride? I

Twilight: How dare you not tell me in person that you were getting married? I'm your sister, for pony's sake!

Shining Armor: It's not my fault! Princess Celestia has requested a major increase in security. Didn't you see all the guards at the train station?

Twilight: Yeah, there's a big wedding coming up. Maybe you heard about it?

Shining Armor: It has nothing to do with the wedding. A threat has been made against Canterlot. We don't know who's responsible for it, but Princess Celestia asked that I help provide additional protection. This, you need to see.

His horn glowed pinkish and a magic beam from his horn shot up in the air and hit the sphere. That caused a pain in his head.

Shining Armor: The burden of keeping Canterlot safe and secure rests squarely on my shoulders. Staying focused on the task at hand has been my top priority.

The two siblings continued their talk on the Castle's bridge.

Twilight: Okay, okay, I get it. You've got a really important job protecting all of Canterlot with a force field only you can conjure up. But still, how could you not tell me about something as big as your wedding? Am I not that important to you any more?

Shining Armor: Hey. You're my little sister. Of course you're important to me. But I'd understand if you didn't want to be my best mare now.

Twilight: You want me to be your best mare?

Shining Armor: Well, yeah.

Twilight: (Smile) I'd be honored!

She bowed before the two hugged, and then Twilight broke it off.

Twilight: But I'm still pretty ticked you're marrying somepony I don't even know! When did you even meet this "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza"?

Shining Armor: Twily, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadance, your old foalsitter.

Twilight: Cadance? As in the Cadance? As in the greatest foalsitter in all the history of foalsitters?!

Shining Armor: Heh. You tell me. She was your foalsitter.

Twilight: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

Twilight was thinking about the good times she spent with Cadance in the past.

Twilight: Cadance is only the most amazing pony ever! She's beautiful, she's caring, she's kind...

She thought about them sharing hugs, healing boo-boo's, even playing on swings at the park.

Young Twilight: I am so lucky to have you as my foalsitter.

Young Cadance: I'm the one who's lucky, Twilight.

Young Twilight: You're a princess. I'm just a regular old unicorn.

Young Cadance: You are anything but a regular old unicorn.

After playing on the swings, the two young friends did their chant.

Young Twilight and Young Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!

Sometime later, they saw Wild Fire and Lucky Clover arguing. Then, young Cadance used love magic to make them stop arguing.

Twilight: How many unicorns can just spread love wherever they go? I only know of one! And you're marrying her!

She started jumping around while singing...

Twilight: You're marrying Cadance! You're marrying Cadance!

She stopped bouncing as she opened her eyes and saw Cadance.

Cadance: I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.

Twilight: Cadance!

She rushed over to Cadance and did the old chant they use to do.

Twilight: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!

Cadance: What are you doing?

Twilight: Cadance, it's me, Twilight!

Cadance: Uh-huh.

She walked passed Twilight and went towards Shining Armor, who placed a hoof around her.

Shining Armor: I've gotta get back to my station, but Cadance will be checking in with all of you to see how things are going. I think I speak for both of us when I say we couldn't be more excited to have you here. Right, dear?

Cadance: Absolutely.

She returned an evilish look at Twilight, who gave a confused look.

Shining Armor: Well, we'll let you get to it.

Shining Armor walked away with Cadance.

**(Castle's Kitchen)**

Twilight was sitting near a pillar with her forelegs crossed while holding a notepad and a pencil with her magic. She was back in her bitter mood. Brian, on the other hand, was walking around the kitchen, trying to keep his eyes off the food.

Brian: Okay, get it together Brian. You have will power. You do not wanna go berserk.

Applejack began running up a ladder near a huge cake and finished placing some frosting on top.

Applejack: Cake, check.

Twilight checked that off the list as AJ ran towards another direction. She chiseled on a heart-shaped ice sculpture.

Applejack: Ice sculpture, check.

Twilight checked that off the list as AJ ran over to the oven and pulled out a tray of desserts.

Applejack: Best darn bite-size apple fritter you ever tasted...

She grabbed one of them and shoved it in Twilight's mouth.

Twilight: Mmm. Check.

At that moment, Twilight was in her happy mood again. Applejack grabbed another one and gave it to Brian.

Applejack: Here ya go, Brian. I saw you eyein' them desserts. Couldn't just leave you hangin'.

Brian: Aw thank God.

He took the fritter and started eating it.

Brian: Mmm! Oh these are pretty good! (Chew) And you made these yourself?

Applejack: You bet your sweet apples. Back on the farm, we make all different kinds of sweet apple delights.

Spike and Stewie were sitting on the counter playing with the bride and groom figures that were supposed to be on the cake. Spike had Shining Armor's and Stewie had Cadance's.

Spike: I do! Do you?

Stewie: I do!

They were making kissing noises with them, until Twilight glared at the boys and used her magic to place the figures on the side.

Spike: (Nervous) Ehehe!

Stewie: Aw!

Princess Cadance came in the door with a bored expression.

Applejack: Hiya, Princess!

Everypony bowed before her.

Cadance: Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

Twilight rolled her eyes and looked angry again.

Applejack: Hiya, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

Brian: Whoa! Now that's a pony with pure beauty!

Stewie: Back off, Brian. She's already taken!

Brian: (Sigh) I know.

The princess quickly changed the expression on her face from annoyed to excited when she saw Brian on the floor and Stewie on the counter.

Cadance: Oh, you two must be Stewie and Brian!

Brian: W-wait a minute! You know who we are?

Cadance: Yes, I heard you two were at the Grand Galloping Gala last time you were here. Just like Princess Celestia, I also sensed your presence in Equestria. And if I'm not mistaking, where's your third friend?

Stewie: Oh, you must be talking about my sister, Glory. Well if I had to guess, I'd say she's helping out Rarity with your wedding dress.

Cadance: Oh, I can't wait to check it out.

Twilight's the only one who sensed a little sarcasm right there. Cadance still kept that excited expression when she faced Applejack.

Applejack: Speaking of checking out, I assume you came to check out what's on the menu for your big day?

Cadance: Yes, I have!

When Applejack turned around, Cadance quickly returned to her annoyed expression as Twilight kept an eye on her. Brian was back to resisting the smell of the food, and Stewie was back to playing with the figures with Spike. AJ grabbed the tray and offered an apple fritter to the Princess, and she used her magic to grab one and took a bite.

Cadance: (Nervous) Delicious! I love, love, love them. Hehe!

Applejack: Aw, shucks. Why don't you take a few to go?

AJ held up a bag of fritters, but Cadance looked back in regret and then grabbed the bag with her magic, then held it with her teeth.

Applejack: I know how you brides can be. So busy, you forget to get a little somethin' in your belly.

When Cadance reached the door, she threw the bag of fritters into the trash can.

Twilight: (Gasp)

After walking out, Cadance closed the doors behind her with her magic. Twilight faced Applejack after witnessing the whole thing, but she was busy. So she faced Stewie instead.

Twilight: Did... you see what she...

She stopped when she saw Spike and Stewie playing with the figures again.

Stewie: Don't judge us, okay? This is who we are.

After they continued playing with them, Twilight rolled her eyes in annoyance and then faced Brian.

Twilight: Brian, you saw what happened, didn't you?

Brian was sitting on the floor sniffing the food until he quickly got up after Twilight said his name.

Brian: Huh, wha... what?

Twilight: Um... nothing. I just thought... I saw a squirrel... outside.

Brian: A squirrel? Where? (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof)

He ran out the door trying to find a squirrel before Twilight gave up and walked out of the kitchen.

Applejack: Uh, no offence Stewie, but yer friend is one weird little doggy.

Stewie: If you think he's that weird, you should've seen him when he was playing dress-up.

**(Flashback)**

In Lois' room, Brian was walking back and forth dressed like Lois.

Brian: Ooh, I have so much stuff to do today. I have to do laundry, then I have a piano lesson, then I have to make dinner. I am so busy. Better hurry.

Stewie: (Enters) Lois, I want my graham cracker...

He was surprised to see Brian dressed like a woman.

Stewie: Oh.

Brian: Hey.

Stewie: Hey. Eh, playing a little dress-up?

Brian: Yeeeah.

Stewie: Yeah, good. It's fun to pretend. Um, so listen, if you see Lois tell her...

Brian: Graham cracker.

Stewie: Graham cracker, yes, yes. That's, uh, that's it. Um, alright! So, uh, I'm just gonna go out in the hallway and throw up about something else.

Stewie backed away out of the room.

**(Reality)**

In the tower room of the castle, Rarity was making the dresses for Cadance and her bridesmaids. Glory was in front of a mirror wearing the same dress she wore at the gala, and Twilight was telling Glory what happened.

Twilight: Oh, you should've seen how she acted back there. I don't know when she changed, but she changed.

Without knowing that Glory wasn't listening, Twilight started imitating Cadance.

Twilight: Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.

Cadance: Did I hear someone say my name?

Cadance came in the room with her bridesmaids, Lyra, Minuette, and Twinkleshine. Rarity quickly rushed over to her.

Rarity: Your highness! Let me just start by saying what an honor it is to play a role in such a momentous occasion. (Bowed) Hehehe!

Twilight still had that same annoyed expression on her face and Cadance took a glimpse of Glory to her right. Glory looked at Cadance for a second and waved hello.

Cadance: I assume that's Glory. The one from another world where Stewie and Brian came from?

Rarity: Uh, yes, darling! Doesn't she look beautiful in her dress?

Cadance: Uh-huh. And speaking of dresses, is my dress ready?

She and Rarity walked over to the dress.

Rarity: Oh, yes, of course. Um, I've been working on it ever since I was given the assignment, and I think you'll be pleased with the results! Mmm!

Cadance: I was hoping for something with more beading and a longer train.

She walked off as Rarity made some notes on a notepad.

Rarity: Oh, yes, of course.

Cadance turned her attention to the bridesmaids' dresses.

Cadance: And those should be a different color.

Twinkleshine: I think they're lovely.

Minuette: Me too!

Lyra: I love them.

Cadance looked at them scoldingly, which caused them to look around nervously.

Cadance: Make them a different color.

She walked out of the room with her bridesmaids.

Twilight: Gee, maybe her name should be 'Princess Demandy-pants.'

Annoyed, Twilight walked out of the room. After the door closed, Glory took out the earbuds from her ears. She was listening to "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction.

Glory: What?

She looked at Rarity, who was looking at her, then at the door, and then back to Rarity again.

Glory: Did Twilight say something?

Rarity shrugged her shoulders.

Rarity: Eh!

She went back to work and Glory put the earbuds back in her ears and continued to see herself in the dress.

**(Castle Ballroom)**

Twilight was eavesdropping on Pinkie Pie and Cadance by hiding behind a pillar in the room.

Pinkie Pie: Okay, let me see. We've been over the games...

She rushed towards a board game and rattled the dice in her hooves. She smiled and the dice landed on the board and she hopped back to Cadance.

Pinkie Pie: ...the dances...

She rushed to a record player that was playing polka music and danced like a chicken. After dancing was over, she bounced backed in front of Cadance.

Pinkie Pie: (Gasp) I think this reception is gonna be perfect! Don't you?

Cadance: Perfect! If we were celebrating a six-year-old's birthday party.

She walked off.

Pinkie Pie: (Gasp) Thank you!

At night, Princess Luna entered the pink sphere and switched places with Princess Celestia on the tower balcony.

Luna: Rest, my sister. As always, I will guard the night.

Outside, the ponies, Spike, and the trio were sitting at a table having some drinks near the doors of the building next to them. The ponies sat on pillows, Spike sat on three, and the trio sat in chairs.

Stewie: And then he was like, 'I went to New York once in 1981, and I just did not feel safe'

Everyone at the table laughed as Twilight walked out of the building while holding her drink with her magic.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Twilight, you gotta come hear this. It's hilarious! HAHA!

Twilight: I bet I can guess what you're all laughing about. Cadance as a clown and being the absolute worst bride-to-be ever.

That statement caught their attention. Stewie and Spike were still playing with figures that were suppose to be on the cake.

Spike: Who, me?

Stewie: Oh you!

Applejack: Hey, boys, they're suppose to go on the cake.

They laughed nervously and placed the figures on the table.

Rarity: Twilight, whatever are you talking about? Cadance is an absolute gem!

Twilight: Rarity, she was so demanding!

Rarity: Well, of course she is! Why shouldn't she expect the very best on her wedding day?

Twilight: (Sigh) Glory, you believe me when I told you what happened in the kitchen, right?

Glory rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

Glory: Yeah, um, I wasn't listening. The only thing I was listening to was music.

Twilight: (Moan)

Applejack: Wait, what happened in the kitchen?

Twilight: I tried to tell you, Applejack. Did you know that after she told you how much she just 'love-love-loved' your hors d'eouvres, she threw them in the trash?

Applejack: Aw, she was probably just trying to spare my feelin's.

Twilight: No, she was just being fake and totally insincere!

Everyone at the table had unhappy looks on their faces.

Fluttershy: She did raise her voice at one of my birds during rehearsal.

Twilight: See? Rude!

Fluttershy: But... he was singing really off-key.

The bird on Fluttershy's hoof sung off-key, which caused everyone at the table to cover their ears.

Brian: Yeah, okay, I think she gets it.

Twilight: Pinkie Pie, you had to have noticed how Cadance treated

She was interrupted by Stewie laughing at how Pinkie Pie and Spike made kissing noises with the figures that were supposed to be on the cake. Twilight rolled her eyes and rested her head on the table in frustration.

Twilight: Never mind. Rainbow Dash, you're with me, right?

Rainbow Dash was rubbing her muscles and stretching her wings.

Rainbow Dash: Sorry, Twi. Been too busy prepping for my sonic rainboom to pay much attention to the bride's bad attitude.

Twilight: (Growl)

Rarity: The princess is about to get married. I'm sure any negative behavior she might be displaying is simply the result of nerves.

Twilight stood up and slammed her hoof on the table.

Twilight: And I'm sure it's the result of being an awful pony who doesn't deserve to even know Shining Armor, let alone marry him!

Brian: (Sigh) You know what I think? I think it sounds to me that you might be getting a little possessive of your brother.

Ponies and Trio: Uh-huh.

Stewie: I kinda agree with Brian. I mean, you have been acting quite different than the last time we were here. I mean, you seem like you're not ready to let your brother go. Y-ya know, maybe Brian's right. Maybe you are kind of being possessive.

Twilight: I am not being possessive, and I am not taking it out on Cadance! You're all just too distracted and caught up in your wedding planning to notice that maybe there shouldn't even...

She slammed her hoof on the table so hard, all the drinks on the table jumped upwards and splatter everywhere.

Twilight: ...be a wedding!

She was so upset, she stormed off.

Fluttershy: Um, did you think we were maybe a little harsh on her?

Stewie: Nah, she just needs some time to accept the way things are going for the wedding.

Applejack: No joke about that. If I was that possessive over my older brother, or anypony I care for, I'd hold 'em close to me and never let 'em go.

Brian: Tell me about it.

He got out of his seat.

Brian: Alright, I'm off.

Rainbow Dash: Where are you going?

Brian: I'm just goin' for a walk. Helps me clear my head. See ya back at the castle.

While Twilight was going one way, Brian was going the opposite direction.

Glory: Soooo, what's a sonic rainboom anyway?

On a rooftop, Derpy Hooves was trying to balance a brick on a toilet paper roll. After letting it go, the brick started falling to the ground and Derpy flew away with a smile. Down below, Brian was still walking while noticing a lot of female ponies chatting, sitting on benches, and walking around.

Brian: Hm. Ya know, I gotta admit. There's awfully a lot of very sexy ponies out here. I don't care if we are from different species.

The brick fell on Brian's head. The second it hit his head, the screen went black and white, and Brian dropped to the ground on his side and then on his back in slow motion. His left leg was twitching a few times, but it stopped.

**(WASTED)**

One second later, Brian was in front of the Ponyville Hospital.

{Brian's Money: $7,501 minus $7,500 equals $1}

Brian: (Sarcasm) Oh, this is just (Bleep) great! First this, and now I gotta go all the (Bleep) way back to (Bleep) Canterlot again.

After he started walking, a loading screen appeared. It showed two Police Officers arresting Brian on the hood of a police car. One of them was pointing his gun at Brian. The other one was putting the handcuffs on.

Dbzfreak60: It's night time and the train station's closed, so Brian's gonna walk back to Canterlot. So let's move along.

Shining Armor was looking sharp before he heard a knock on his front door. He opened the door and it was Twilight.

Shining Armor: Twily!

Twilight entered the house.

Shining Armor: Your big brother's looking pretty good, don't you think?

She gave her brother a sad look.

Shining Armor: Huh. Everything okay?

Twilight: We need to talk. I think you're making a big...

Cadance: Ahem.

The two siblings saw Cadance coming downstairs.

Shining Armor: Oh, uh, hi sweetie.

Twilight: (Mumble) She sure has a way of sneaking up on people.

Cadance: Could I speak to you for a moment, dear?

Shining Armor: Better see what she wants.

After they went to the next room to talk, Twilight decided to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Cadance: Look, we need to talk.

Shining Armor: I'm here to talk.

Cadance: It's about your sister, okay?

Shining Armor: I... look, look, she's okay...

Cadance: Just.. listen to me.

Shining Armor: I'm listening, I'm listening.

Cadance: I thought I made it perfectly clear I didn't want you to wear that.

Shining Armor: This was my favorite uncle's.

Cadance: And?

Shining Armor: And I think I should wear it.

Cadance: Are you disagreeing with me?

Shining Armor: I guess I am.. ack!

Cadance: Oh, dear. Are you getting another one of your headaches?

Cadance's horn glowed green and she casts a spell on him that made his eyes green and wonky.

Cadance: Feeling better?

Shining Armor, with green eyes, shook his head yes.

Twilight: She isn't just unpleasant and rude. She's downright evil!

She ran off as Shining Armor and Cadance exited the room.

Shining Armor: Twilight!

He sees Twilight running out the door.

Cadance: Let her go.

Shining Armor: Huh. It seemed like she had something else she wanted to tell me.

At the tower, Princess Luna spotted someone.

Luna: Who goes there?

She saw Twilight running to the castle where her friends were.

Luna: Stay indoors, Twilight Sparkle.

She burst through the door.

Twilight: Shining Armor's in real trouble! You have to help

She spotted her friends in dresses.

Twilight: Dresses? What are you ?

Fluttershy flew next to Twilight.

Fluttershy: Can you believe it? We're gonna be Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's new bridesmaids!

Twilight: New bridesmaids? What happened to her old bridesmaids?

Applejack: She didn't say, but she did tell us that she would love-love-love it if we'd fill in for them.

Rarity: Seeing as we've been working so hard and everything.

Applejack: And you had your doubts about her.

Rarity: Told you she was an absolute gem!

Rainbow Dash: You sure this is what I should wear? Doesn't seem all that aerodynamic.

Rarity: Hmm. I'll see what I can do.

Nobody listened to Twilight's warning, so she left the room and went outside.

Twilight: Looks like I really am on my own.

She looked to her right and saw Brian running up the stairs. He made it upstairs and had his hands on his knees while catching his breath. He was panting really hard.

Twilight: Where were you?

Brian: (Pant) (Pant) (Pant) You don't... (Pant) (Pant) ...want to know. (Pant) (Pant) Whew! I gotta get some water.

He went inside where Twilight's friends were.

Brian: (Pant) (Pant) Oh God! (Closes Door)

The next day, the wedding rehearsal was taking place at the wedding hall. In the wedding hall were the new bridemaids, Shining Armor, Princess Celestia, Spike, and the trio sitting in the front row on the right side in their golden reserved seats. Glory in the middle, Brian on her left, and Stewie on her right.

Stewie: Why the bloody Hell do you get to be in the middle?

Glory: Because I'm taller and a girl. It makes more sense that way.

Brian: You know what doesn't make sense? Why the damn writer made me walk all the damn way back here?

Glory: He said the train station's closed that night, plus, just like Quagmire, he probably doesn't like you.

The church organ was playing, and Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash began walking in a straight horizontal row with smiles on their faces.

Celestia: Perfect, girls. No need to rush. Then of course, Cadance will enter.

The royal guards opened the double doors with their magic, where Cadance entered. She took her walk as Shining Armor gazed at her.

Celestia: I'll say a few words, and then we'll begin with the vows. Shining Armor, you'll get the ring from your best mare.

Shining Armor turned his head around, but Twilight wasn't there. Just Spike and Stewie playing with the figures again.

Spike: Do you?

Stewie: I do!

Spike and Stewie: Hehehehe!

Brian: What-what the Hell?

Glory: How did he...? He was just...

Shining Armor: Hey, has anypony seen Twilight?

Stewie: Not sure! But if I had to guess, she's...

Twilight burst through the wedding hall doors.

Twilight: I'm here!

Stewie: Oh, she's already here.

Twilight: I'm not gonna stand next to her! And neither should you!

A little embarrassed, Shining Armor faced towards Cadance.

Shining Armor: I'm sorry, I-I don't know why she's acting like this.

Cadance: Maybe we should just ignore her.

She said in a rude tone.

Twilight: You have to listen to me!

Fluttershy rushed next to Twilight.

Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! Are you okay?

Twilight: I'm fine.

Applejack rushed next to Twilight too.

Applejack: Ya sure about that?

Twilight grabbed Applejack's hat with her magic and pulled it over her face.

Twilight: I've got something to say!

She took a few more steps forward.

Twilight: She's evil!

Shining Armor stood in front of Cadance, who gave an innocent and frightened look, and everyone responded with concerned chatter. The trio rushed next to Twilight's friends.

Twilight: She's been horrible to my friends.

She disappeared and reappeared next to Cadance.

Twilight: She's obviously done something to her bridesmaids.

She continued speaking as she inched closer to Cadance, causing her to back away.

Twilight: And if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all...

She rattled her eyes around in confusion as her tongue stuck out.

Stewie: Hehehehe! That's a funny face! It's like the fool on April Fool's Day.

Everyone had surprised looks on their faces. Cadance tried to look around, but Twilight walked closer towards her, eyeing her with a smirk across her face. Cadance began to cry.

Cadance: (Cry) Why are you doing this to me?!

She ran off crying.

Twilight: Because you're evil!

When Cadance ran out the room, Twilight teleported to the doors.

Twilight: Evil! And if I don't stop you, you're gonna ruin my brother's life!

Twilight began walking back into the hall, but she bumped into her an angry brother. She was so nervous, she grinned nervously at him.

Stewie: Oh boy! Here we go.

Shining Armor: You want to know why my eyes went all...

He rattled his eyes and then placed his hoof on his head in pain.

Stewie: Hehehe! The funny face again.

Shining Armor: Because ever since I started having to perform my protection spell, I've been getting terrible migraines. Cadance hasn't been casting spells on me. She's been using her magic to heal me! And she decided to replace her bridesmaids because she found out the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding was so that they could meet Canterlot royalty! And if she hasn't been on her best behavior with your friends, it's because with me being so busy, she's had to make all the decisions about the wedding!

Twilight: I was just trying to

Shining Armor: She's been completely stressed out because it's really important to her that our big day be perfect! Something that obviously wasn't important to you!

He placed his hoof on his head again because of his pain.

Shining Armor: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and comfort my bride.

He ran off to the doors.

Shining Armor: And you can forget about being my best mare. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all.

After he left, Twilight sat on the floor all sad.

Applejack: C'mon, y'all. Let's go check on the princess.

They just ignored Twilight and walked past her with disappointed expressions. Even Princess Celestia was disappointed in her.

Twilight: I was

Celestia: You have a lot to think about.

The doors slammed shut after the ponies and Spike left, leaving Twilight and the trio behind. Stewie and Brian looked at each other with disappointed looks.

Brian: Come on, Stewie.

The two walked off to the doors.

Twilight: Wait, you believe me, don't you?

Brian turned around to see Twilight.

Brian: No Twilight, I don't. I've seen all the bad things that happened in my life. All of them, but this... was the worst. And I don't think I can ever see anyone like you again.

He turned back around and stormed off as Twilight released more tears.

Stewie: Me either.

She looked at Stewie with a sad look.

Stewie: I've always thought this world was the perfect place of peace, but I guess I was wrong.

Stewie turned around and followed Brian out of the room. After Twilight had her head down and released more tears, she saw Glory walk pass her.

Twilight: You too, Glory?

Glory stopped one inch in front of the doors and looked back at Twilight with a sad look.

Glory: Sorry Twilight.

After Twilight closed her eyes with her head down, Glory turned around and bumped her forehead into the door hard the second Stewie closed it. After the impact, the screen went black and white, and Glory slid down from the door to the floor in slow motion. When she got to the floor on her back, her head turned to the side with her tongue sticking out.

**(WASTED)**

One second later, Glory was in front of the Ponyville Hospital.

{Glory's Money: $10,000,015 minus $10,000,000 equals $15}

Glory: Ten Mill?! Crap!

After she started walking, a loading screen appeared. It showed Mort tied to a chair in the Griffin's basement and Stewie and Glory pointing guns at his head.

Dbzfreak60: They're gonna love that.

Glory stopped one inch in front of the doors and looked back at Twilight with a sad look.

Glory: Sorry Twilight.

After Twilight closed her eyes with her head down, Glory turned around and quickly took a step backwards before the door could hit her. After that, she exited the wedding hall and took a walk with Stewie and Brian, leaving Twilight by herself.

Glory: Okay, I know this is a bad time to say it, but you owe me millions of dollars, Stewie.

Stewie: Well then you should've watched where you were going.

Brian: Come on, you guys. Let's just... let's just go home, or anywhere else.

Stewie: What!? You're leaving?

Brian: Yeah! I'm gonna tell Princess Celestia that I'm out. Being here makes me even more disappointed in Twilight, and I-I just can't even stay here.

Stewie: (Sigh) I suppose you're right, Brian. I can't believe even this beautiful world has its downsides too. Of course there was that disaster at the Grand Galloping Gala, but I guess what Twilight did was... was the lowest.

Glory: Twilight was right about one thing, but coming here was more than just a bad time. Coming here was a mistake, and Twilight made it.

Brian: Um, d-did you just say that Twilight brought us here by mistake?

Glory facepalmed.

Glory: Damn it. That wasn't me. It's the stupid writer's fault! I meant to say that Twilight made it so that coming here was a mistake. We so gotta pay the writer a visit after this part one episode is over.

Stewie: Well how the bloody Hell are we gonna...

The trio bumped into a silhouette of a mysterious black figure.

Stewie: Hey, who the deuce are you?

The mysterious figure opened its green eyes and gave the trio a sinister smile.

Mysterious Figure: Hmhmhmhmh! Hehehehehe!

Stewie: Okay, this is buggin' me out.

Mysterious Figure: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The mysterious figure's horn was glowing green.

Stewie, Brian, and Glory: AAAAAAUUUGHHHHH!

Back in the Wedding Hall...

Twilight: Maybe I was being overprotective.

She was sadly lying on the steps.

Twilight: I could've gained a sister. But instead, I just lost a brother.

_"He was my big brother, best frieeeeeend"_

_"Foreveeerrr"_

_"And now, we'll never do anything"_

_"Togetheeerrr"_

Cadance appeared on top of the steps to comfort Twilight by stroking her mane as Twilight continued to cry. She saw Cadance giving her a soft smile.

Twilight: (Sob) I'm sorry!

Cadance's eyes turned green for a quick second.

Cadance: You will be.

Cadance's horn glowed green and surrounded Twilight with a ring of green fire. The fire engulfed Twilight in a green magical sphere. After Cadance walks out of the room with an evil grin, she witnessed the sphere and Twilight sinking into the ground.

**[To be continued...]**

**(Fanfiction Towers)**

The Fanfiction Towers is a 50 story brown building where Fanfiction authors go to work. It's like an office building where the authors get to work writing their fanfics. Can you imagine having a job like that in a tall office building? Writing Fanfics with pay? Anyway, I was in my office in my desk on the top floor, wearing a brown suit and a red tie, finishing up part one of this story.

Dbzfreak60: And part one is finally... done. Phew.

That's when the trio burst through the door to confront me.

Dbzfreak60: Oh, hey guys.

Stewie: You sick son of a bitch!

Dbzfreak60: What?

Glory: Okay, first off, forget about our lines you type. We're gonna let that slide. And second, we got something else we wanna talk to you about.

Dbzfreak60: Okay! What do you wanna talk about?

Brian: You know what this is about. Our deaths? Grand Theft Auto wasted moments? Losing money after leaving that damn pony hospital?

Glory: You've cost us a lot of money, Dbz.

Dbzfreak60: Yeeeaahh! But you're just fictional characters who can get rich when someone writes about it at anytime. So who cares?

Glory: Fictional? Well, I see Stewie and Brian are, but what about me?

Dbzfreak60: You? Oh, you're just a fictional counterpart of author MultiGlory13.

I saw her walking pass the opened door.

Dbzfreak60: Hey, MultiGlory13!

MultiGlory13: Hi, Dbzfreak60!

Dbzfreak60: See? So in a way, Glory Griffin, you don't exist either. Now get back out there, we still got part two to do.

Stewie: (Giggle) Two to do. Hehe. That's funny.

Brian: What?! Ugh, you've gotta be kidding me, right? You're putting part two in the same chapter after part one? Wh-who the Hell even does that?

Dbzfreak60: Uh, I do. See, in your amazing adventures, I like to keep a whole Road to adventure on one chapter. Let me put it to you this way. 'If you can do that, you can do this.' See, Rochelle Rock from Everybody Hates Chris applied that saying to a lot of situations in the episode Everybody Hates Math. Like the time she and her family robbed a bank.

**(Flashback)**

The Rock family are dressed as bank robbers in a bank vault.

Rochelle: If you can crack an egg, you can crack a safe.

Julius handed Chris a tool to open the safe.

**(Reality)**

Dbzfreak60: And then there was that time she and Drew were sergeons.

**(Flashback)**

Rochelle and Drew are in a hospital dressed as surgeons.

Rochelle: Boy, if you can lace up a sneaker, then you can stitch up a chest. Suture.

A sergeon handed Drew a suture to get to work stitching a chest.

**(Reality)**

Dbzfreak60: And then there was even that time she and Tonya went skydiving.

**(Flashback)**

Rochelle and Tonya are in a helicopter in flight suits.

Rochelle: IF YOU CAN JUMP ROPE, YOU CAN JUMP FROM A PLANE. GO! GOOO!

Tonya jumps off the plane screaming.

Rochelle: OOOHHH BABY, YOU FORGOT YOUR PARACHUTE.

Rochelle jumped off the plane with Tonya's parachute.

**(Reality)**

Dbzfreak60: See what I mean? And if you guys can handle a full hour episode on one page of a chapter like the Road to the North Pole, you can handle this.

Glory: (Moan) And what's in it for us if we do it?

Dbzfreak60: Well, I'll write you killing Lois, Stewie.

Stewie: YES, HAHA! I get to finally put an end to that woman.

Glory: Hey, wait a minute! That's my mom we're talkin' about. I don't wanna be stuck with Peter.

Brian: Yeah! I mean, killing Lois? That sounds a little extreme, even for you.

Dbzfreak60: Stewie will clone her and you get to bang the original before she's killed. And then you can have her clone for yourself. And everyone will love your book.

Brian: (Smile) Hotdog!

Glory: What?! Okay, ya know what, I want no part of this. I'm out. (Walks away)

Dbzfreak60: And I'll send you and Akihiko to the dimension where you're famous.

Glory: (Walks back) Well, since you put it that way, that sounds like a good idea.

Dbzfreak60: Great, so we have a deal.

The trio was like 'Yeah! Alright!' and then they jumped in the air and hi-fived each other. The second that hi-hive happened, the screen went black and white, and the trio fell to the floor on their backs in slow motion.

**(WASTED)**

They magically disappeared out of my office. We know how much they had last time, and now we know how much they'll have after getting out of the hospital.

Dbzfreak60: Suckers. Like that'll ever happen.

I cracked my fingers.

Dbzfreak60: And now, part two.

I started typing part two. Enjoy!

**[Previously on The Road to Canterlot]**

Glory: Uh, what's going on?

Stewie: Oh, see every few years, Mort and his entire family pop their huge back zits, and then the whole town gets flooded with Jewish zit puss.

Twilight: 'Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and...' (Gasp) My brother?!

Stewie: Un...(Bleep)in'...believable.

Glory: She wants us... to be the guests of honor... at a royal wedding?

Shining Armor: Twily!

He ran downstairs to the ground to see his sister.

Shining Armor: Ah, I've missed you, kid.

Twilight: How dare you not tell me in person that you were getting married?

Shining Armor: A threat has been made against Canterlot. Princess Celestia asked that I help provide additional protection.

Twilight: But I'm still pretty ticked you're marrying somepony I don't even know.

Shining Armor: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadance.

Twilight: Cadance is only the most amazing pony ever!

Cadance: I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.

Twilight: Cadance, it's me! Twilight!

Cadance: Uh-huh.

She walked passed Twilight and went towards Shining Armor.

Brian: (Sarcasm) Oh, this is just (Bleep) great! First this, and now I gotta go all the (Bleep) way back to (Bleep) Canterlot again.

Shining Armor: And I think I should wear it.

Cadance: Are you disagreeing with me?

Cadance casts a spell on Shining Armor that made his eyes green and wonky.

Twilight: Where were you?

Brian: You don't... (Pant) (Pant) ...want to know.

Twilight: She's evil! I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all...

She rattled her eyes around in confusion as her tongue stuck out.

Stewie: Hehehehe! That's a funny face! It's like the fool on April Fool's Day.

Shining Armor: Cadance hasn't been casting spells on me. She's been using her magic to heal me! If I were you, I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all.

Twilight: You too, Glory?

Glory looked back at Twilight with a sad look.

Glory: Sorry Twilight. Ten Mill?! Crap!

The mysterious figure's horn was glowing green.

Stewie, Brian, and Glory: AAAAAAUUUGHHHHH!

Twilight: I just lost a brother. (Sob) I'm sorry!

Cadance: You will be.

After Cadance walks out of the room with an evil grin, she witnessed the sphere and Twilight sinking into the ground. The trio were in front of the hospital with $0.

Stewie: (Gasp) That Dbz loving bastard lied to us!

Part two starts off in the dark caves beneath Canterlot, where Twilight was glowing her horn like a candle.

Twilight: Hello?

Her voice echoed through the caves, but no one answered.

Twilight: Is anyone there?

She bumped into a crystal wall, where she saw her reflection and heard someone laughing.

Twilight: Where am I?

An image of Cadance appeared on the walls.

Fake Cadance: The caves beneath Canterlot, once home to greedy unicorns who wanted to claim the gems that could be found inside. And now, your prison.

Twilight: Help! Help!

Fake Cadance: Hehehehe! It's no use. No one can hear you. And no one will ever think to look for you either. Most ponies have forgotten that these caves even exist. Which is why they are the ideal place to keep the ones who try to interfere with my plans. HAHAHAHAHA!

Twilight: Plans? What plans?

Fake Cadance: The plans I have for your brother, of course.

This caused Twilight to form an aggressive stance.

Twilight: Don't you dare do anything to my brother, you... you monster!

Fake Cadance: Only way to stop me is to catch me!

She laughed and appeared on another crystal.

Fake Cadance: Over here!

Twilight charged her horn and shot a beam of magic towards Cadance's reflections. After her reflection disappeared, the magic beam ricochet all over the cave before hitting the ground where Cadance's reflection appeared.

Fake Cadance: Nope!

She appeared all over the place.

Fake Cadance: Over here!

She laughed and laughed and Twilight shot magic at every image of Cadance before shooting the wall behind her. Behind the now broken wall revealed to be Cadance, who looked sad, abandoned, and stranded.

Cadance: No! Wait!

Twilight charged at Cadance and pinned her to the ground.

Cadance: Ugh! Please! Don't hurt me!

She opened her eyes and saw Twilight.

Cadance: Twilight, it's me! Please, you have to believe me. I've been imprisoned like you. The Cadance who brought you down here was an imposter.

Twilight: Likely story!

And so, she got up and did their old chant to prove that she was telling the truth.

Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves...

Twilight and Cadance: ...and do a little shake.

She looked back at Twilight with a smile, and Twilight smiled too and hugged her.

Twilight: You remember me!

Cadance: Of course I do. How could I forget the filly I love to sit for the most?

Their hug was cut short when they heard moaning. Twilight's horn glowed as she became ready.

Twilight: Who's there?

Walking towards them were the trio moaning with their hands on their dizzy heads.

Brian: Ugh! Oh God... I think I'm gonna throw up.

Glory: Please don't say throw up. It helps if we don't say it.

Stewie: Oh God, I haven't felt this delirious since we were on that carnival ride.

**(Flashback)**

Glory and Stewie were sitting on the living room couch.

Stewie: Hey! Glory! Is there such thing as an old Hampshire?

Annoyed, Glory took a bowl of popcorn in her lap and poured all the popcorn on Stewie's head.

Stewie: Right!

**(Reality)**

Stewie: My God, what the devil is going on up there? That was clearly the wrong damn cutaway!

Twilight: Guys, you're here too?

The trio stopped walking.

Glory: Twilight?

She noticed Cadance too.

Glory: Princess Cadance? Where are we? What's going on?

The Fake Cadance laughed as the laugh echoed through the caves.

Glory: Who the Hell was that? And why am I keep asking unanswered questions?

Cadance: We're in the caves beneath Canterlot. The Cadance who was just laughing was a fake. She's the one responsible for trapping us all down here. And she's evil.

Brian: Wait a minute. If the Cadance up there is evil, then that means... oh my God, Twilight! I'm so sorry about what I said to you.

Glory: Stewie and I are sorry too, Twilight.

Stewie: Yeah, Twilight. We should've believed you.

Twilight: It's okay, guys. I forgive you. But it's not important right now. What's important is getting out of here!

She took a few steps in front of them.

Twilight: And stopping 'her'!

And so, they started running off, trying to find a way out of the caves and get back to the wedding. First Cadance took the lead, then Twilight, and then the trio.

Stewie: Ya know guys, I think it'll make things much faster if we had some music.

Glory: How?

Stewie pulled back his left sleeve and pushed a button on his wristwatch.

Brian: Oh, like that.

Once Stewie pushed the button, music played in the background.

Fake Cadance: _"This day is going to be perfect" "The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small" "Everypony will gather 'round" "Say I look lovely in my gown" "What they don't know is that I have fooled them aaaaall!"_

Cadance: _"This day was going to be perfect" "The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small" "But instead of having cake" "With all my friends to celebrate" "My wedding bells, they may not ring for me at all"_

Fake Cadance: _"I could care less about the dress" "I won't partake in any caaake" "Vows, well I'll be lying when I saaay" "That through any kind of weather" "I'll want us to be together" "The truth is I don't care for him at aaaall" "No I do not love the groom" "In my heart there is no room" "But I still want him to be all miiiiiine"_

Cadance: _"We must escape before it's too late" "Find a way to save the daaay" "Hope, I'll be lying if I saaay" "I don't fear that I may lose him" "To one who wants to use him" "Not care for, love, and cherish him each day" "For I oh so love the groom" "All my thoughts he does consume" "Oh, Shining Armor, I'll be there very soooon"_

They hopped into a cart and Twilight moved rocks out of the way with her magic. She gave the cart a strong push and she held on to it as the cart raced down a spiral track. At the end of the track, the cart bumped into a wooden barrier and caused our heroes flying in the air. Twilight held on to Cadance, who spread her wings to fly. As for the trio, they were inside a magic bubble thanks to Twilight. At the wedding above ground, the imposter was walking down the isle after the flower girls: The Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Fake Cadance: _"Finally the moment has arriiiived" "For me to be one lucky briiiide"_

Cadance: _"Oh, the wedding we won't make" "He'll end up marrying a fake" "Shining Armor will be..."_

Fake Cadance: _"...mine, all mine."_ Hehehehehehehe!

The wedding started.

Celestia: Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor.

Our heroes are still underground trying to find a way out.

Cadance: Oh, we're never going to save him.

Twilight: We will. We just have to find...

She looked up and saw a light at another platform.

Twilight: There!

The others looked up too.

Stewie: Great, but how are we gonna get up there?

She used her magic and teleported them to the area with the light.

Stewie: Oh! Yes, uh, I suppose that'll do.

They started to move until they were confronted by the old bridesmaids. They were slowly walking towards them with green eyes.

Minuette, Lyra, and Twinkleshine: You're not going anywhere.

Stewie: Oh!

Brian: My!

Glory: God! Well, we're doomed!

**(Wedding Hall)**

Celestia: Princess Cadance and Shining Armor, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you...

Twilight burst through the double doors.

Twilight: Stop!

The ponies were chattering while her friends were shocked.

Fake Cadance: Ugh! Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother? (Sob) Why does she have to ruin my special day?

Cadance came in with the trio.

Cadance: Because it's not your special day! It's mine!

Ponies: (Gasp)

Fake Cadance: What? But how did you fools escape my bridesmaids?

Stewie: It wasn't easy, but we prevailed.

**(Flashback)**

Minuette, Lyra, and Twinkleshine stopped in front of the trio, Cadance, and Twilight with evil grins.

Stewie: There's a bouquet of flowers right behind you.

Minuette: Where?

Lyra: It's mine!

Twinkleshine: I want it!

The three bridesmaids ran to the direction behind them, bumped into a wall, and fell to the ground. Like Brian and Peter when they saw their reflections.

Stewie: I can't wait to turn this into a cutaway.

**(Reality)**

Stewie: I was surprised they still wanted a bouquet even after they were out of the trance.

Fake Cadance: Hmph. Clever. But you're still too late.

Applejack: I-I don't understand. How can there be two of 'em?

Cadance: She's a changeling. She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them.

The Fake Cadance's eyes and horn glowed green. She surrounded herself with a green ring of fire and everyone covered their eyes because it was so bright. Her wings turned into like insect wings, her hooves turned dark with a few holes through them, her horn also became dark and crooked, her body turned dark grey, her eyes were green, and her mane and tail were like a dark bluish-greenish color.

Queen Chrysalis: Hehehahahaha! Right you are, Princess.

They were shocked to see Chrysalis' true form.

Queen Chrysalis: So, what do you think of the real me?

Glory had her arms crossed.

Glory: I think you looked better when you were pretty!

Everypony in the wedding hall laughed at the queen.

Brian and Stewie: BURN! HAHAHAHA!

Twilight's friends laughed so hard too. Princess Celestia placed her hoof over her mouth to cover her little laugh. The Queen was so pissed, she stomped her hoof on the ground.

Queen Chrysalis: SILENCE!

After that outburst, everybody quickly shut the Hell up.

Queen Chrysalis: (Clears Throat) That's better! Anyway, as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects.

She began walking towards Cadance, Twilight, and the trio.

Queen Chrysalis: Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!

Cadance: They'll never get the chance! Shining Armor's protection spell will keep them from ever even reaching us!

Queen Chrysalis: Hmhmhmhm! Oh, I doubt that. Isn't that right, dear?

Her horn glowed green and Shining Armor, with green eyes, nodded like he was brainwashed. Cadance tried to run towards him, but Chrysalis placed her hoof in front of her.

Queen Chrysalis: Ah, ah, ah. Don't want to go back to the caves, now do you?

Her horn glowed green, which made Cadance back away a little bit.

Queen Chrysalis: Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off Shining Armor's love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now, my minions are chipping away at it.

Up above, outside the pink sphere, the changelings started tackling it as they laughed.

Queen Chrysalis: Hahahahaha! He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now.

Twilight and Cadance: (Gasp)

Queen Chrysalis: And I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as captain of the Royal Guard.

Cadance: Not my Shining Armor!

Queen Chrysalis: Soon, my changeling army will break through. First, we take Canterlot. And then, all of Equestria!

She turned her attention to the trio.

Queen Chrysalis: And who knows? Perhaps once we take over Equestria, my Changelings and I will also take over your world as well.

Trio: (Gasp)

Princess Celestia intervened with a serious expression.

Celestia: No. You won't. You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spell, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self, I can protect my subjects from you!

She rose in the air and shot a magic beam from her horn, and so did Chrysalis. The two beams collided. Chrysalis struggled with Celestia's magic, but her beam overpowered Celestia's and reached Celestia's horn, which caused a bright light to appear. Princess Celestia's crown was thrown to the side and the Princess was knocked on to the floor.

Ponies: (Gasp)

Twilight: Princess Celestia!

Twilight and the others ran towards the princess.

Queen Chrysalis: Ah! Shining Armor's love for you is even stronger than I thought! Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia!

Celestia: The Elements of Harmony. You must get to them and use their power to defeat the queen.

The Mane Six and the FG Trio looked at each other and nodded. The ponies ditched their dresses and they ran off, but Rarity stayed to catch the dresses.

Ponies and Trio: Rarity!

With a worried looked, she left the dresses behind and ran off with her friends.

Queen Chrysalis: Hahahahaha! You can run, but you can't hide!

The trio followed the ponies to the Canterlot Tower where the elements are. Above our heroes, the changelings continued laughing and trying to break through the shield. The shield had cracks in it and finally, the shield was completely destroyed. Our heroes stopped for a moment because the ground was shaking when the shield broke. They looked up and saw the changelings charging at them with glowing horns like missiles.

Twilight: Go! Go!

They continued to run while dodging the changelings, but one of them landed on the ground in front of Twilight. It growled at her, but she stomped on it's head and they continued on. When they reached the stairs, they were surprised to see an army of changelings in front of them. The trio looked behind them and saw more. They were completely surrounded.

Rainbow Dash: Looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way.

She clapped her hooves and ran over to one of them, but she saw herself. They both did the same movements until the fake Rainbow Dash held up her hooves and pushed the real one towards her friends.

Rainbow Dash: How did you...?

All of a sudden, all the changelings transformed into the Mane Six and the Trio.

Twilight: They're changelings, remember?

Fake Twilights: They're changelings, remember?

Twilight: Don't let them distract you. We have to get to the Elements of Harmony. They're our only hope.

The ponies stood in defense. Brian cracked his fists, Glory got into a battle stance, and Stewie held up his ray gun.

Stewie: Let's kick some Changeling ass.

And so the battle was on. Our heroes charged at the fake ones. Once they collided, the battle was really on. So far, they were easily overpowering the changelings. Three fake Fluttershys were slowing walking towards the real one, but she changed her expression to serious and ready to fight. So the fakes moved along. After they left, Fluttershy ran to the opposite direction where she stopped in front of four Rainbow Dashes. They were about to attack, until the second one on the right kicked and punched the other three. After they were out, she helped Fluttershy up.

Brian: Yeah!

Brian punched a fake Brian out cold.

Brian: Oh, you like that?

He punched out a fake Rainbow Dash.

Brian: Then you're gonna like this.

He turned round and punched Stewie in the nose.

Fake Stewie: AAUUUH! BRIAN, IT'S ME!

Brian: Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Stewie.

Fake Stewie: MY NOSE IS BLEEDING!

Brian: Well it's not my fault. All of us look alike.

The fake Stewie kicked Brian out cold and turned back into a changeling. After laughing at Brian, it got zapped by Stewie's ray gun.

Stewie: If anyone's gonna hurt my Brian, it's gonna be me.

Applejack and Twilight backed up to each other, but that Twilight turned into a changeling and hissed in Applejack's face.

Applejack: OK, this is just gettin' weird.

The changeling and fake Applejacks all jumped on her and held her down. Twilight pinned down a fake version of herself and used her magic to turn the fake back into a changeling. She looked behind her and saw fake versions of Applejack in one pile. So, Twilight started shooting beams of her magic at them and levitated one of them towards her.

Applejack: Real me! Real me!

Twilight then let her down gently. In another part of the fight, one of the changelings, in front of Pinkie Pie, turned into Rarity, then Rainbow Dash, and then Fluttershy.

Pinkie Pie: Tee-hee! Do me! Do me!

The changeling, as Fluttershy, rolled its eyes and turned into Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie: Meh, I've seen better.

She took Twilight and used her as a gatling gun and shot beams of magic at the fakes. Twelve Changelings surrounded Glory. They each took the form of the Mane Six. By believing in herself, Glory knocked all twelve of them out with one single roundhouse kick.

Glory: Whoo! I didn't know I could do that.

The changelings felt the wrath of punches, kicks, Stewie's ray gun, and even Pinkie Pie's party cannon. This kept going and going and then all of a sudden, the Mane Six and the trio defeated the first wave of changelings. When the smoke cleared at the end of the fight, the changelings laid around our heroes on the ground in defeat. After seeing an army of more flying changelings behind them, they quickly ran towards the hall where the Elements of Harmony were. Twilight opened the doors and our heroes were shocked to see a bunch of more changelings inside. They turned around and behind them were the flying changelings that were chasing them blocking their way. They had our heroes completely surrounded. Our heroes could only watch as the changelings were closing in on them.

**(Wedding Hall)**

Princess Celestia is imprisoned in a green cocoon on the ceiling while Cadance's hooves were glued to the floor.

Cadance: You won't get away with this! Twilight and her friends will...

A group of Changelings walked in the wedding hall with the Mane Six and the Trio held in custody.

Queen Chrysalis: You were saying?

Glory: Boy, this really hasn't gone so very well for us.

Queen Chrysalis: You do realize the reception's been cancelled, don't you?

She faced her minions.

Queen Chrysalis: Go! Feed!

Her changelings left the door.

Queen Chrysalis: Hehehehe! It's funny, really. Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along.

She placed a hoof under Twilight's chin, but Twilight slapped it away.

Queen Chrysalis: Too bad the rest of you were too caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct! hehe!

Applejack: Sorry, Twi. We should've listened to you.

Twilight: It's not your fault. She fooled everypony.

Queen Chrysalis: Hmm, I did, didn't I?

She walked towards the window and observed the chaos around town.

Queen Chrysalis: _"This day has been just perfect" "The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small" "Everypony I'll soon control" "Every stallion, mare, and foal" "Who says a girl can't really have it aaaaall?"_ Hmhmhmhm!

Twilight crouched down and quietly snuck over to Cadance.

Twilight: (Whisper) Quick! Go to him while you still have the chance!

She used her magic to free Cadance and then Cadance ran over to Shining Armor. She looked at his green eyes, and then she frowned with tears in her eyes. She placed a hoof on him and then hugged him. A spark appeared on her horn. It shot out a heart and it floated over to Shining Armor. It turned him back to normal as he shook his head in confusion.

Shining Armor: Wha where... huh? Is...is the wedding over?

The queen got to the ground in front of the couple.

Queen Chrysalis: It's all over!

Twilight: Your spell! Perform your spell!

Queen Chrysalis: Hahahahaha! What good would that do? My changelings already roam free.

She directed towards the outside, where her changelings were still terrorizing the city.

Shining Armor: No!

He tried to use is magic, but he was too weak.

Shining Armor: My power is useless now. I don't have the strength to repel them.

Cadance: My love will give you strength.

She embraced him.

Queen Chrysalis: Hahaha! What a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment.

Shining Armor and Cadance closed their eyes and connected their horns. Their horns created a powerful, bright light of magic that lifted them into the air, and the ground started to shake. When they look into each other's eyes, their bodies glowed with bright white light and the light took the form of a heart. Their magic was so powerful, it expanded outward as a bright, purple sphere, and a powerful, magical, wind blew Chrysalis out the window.

Queen Chrysalis: Noooooo!

Along with the Queen, the powerful winds blew the changelings out of Canterlot. They blew all of them away in the sky and they disappeared from the view. Shining Armor and Cadance slowly landed back on the ground and embraced each other.

Stewie: That...

Brian: Was...

Glory: AWESOME!

They all cheered for the couple and hi-fived each other as Twilight ran over to Princess Celestia on the ground.

Celestia: Don't worry about me. I'm fine. You have a real wedding to put together.

And so, everybody began their wedding preparations all over again. In the kitchen, Cadance tasted Applejack's apple treats, which she enjoyed. And Twilight checked that off the list. Rarity held a mirror in front of Cadance in her wedding dress, and Cadance was so happy, she loved it, which caused Twilight to check that off the list as well. Fluttershy's songbirds were singing perfectly. Cadance loved them and Twilight check that off. At the party hall, Pinkie Pie was happily dancing with Cadance. Twilight checked that off. In the tower room, the trio were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with each other until Rarity and Twilight came in the door. Rarity gave the trio a familiar smile.

Glory: Uh-oh!

Brian: Oh crap! Not again.

Just when they were about to run, Rarity pulled out the screen looking curtain over her and the trio.

Stewie: YYYAAHHHHH OWOW OW! WHAT THE (Bleep) AAAAWWUUUGH!

Brian: OUCH! OUCH! AAAAWWUUUGH! C-CUT IT OU- AAUUGH!

Glory: NO, NO, NOT THERE AGAIN! NOT THERE AGAI- OUCH! AUGH! UGH! STOP IT! OUCH!

Stewie: MY GOD, WOMAN! EVER HEARD OF PRIVACY? THIS IS NOT PRIVACY!

Twilight giggled before even checking that off the list.

At the wedding, everybody was in their proper places. Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie were on the left side of the stairs next to bride's spot. Fluttershy was on a balcony in the wedding hall with her songbirds ready to sing. Twilight was on the right side of her brother and Princess Celestia was behind both of them. As for the trio, they were wearing their same clothes they wore at the gala. They were sitting in front of the right side of the crowd in golden reserved seats. Glory in the middle, Brian on her left, and Stewie on her right. Twilight used her magic to fix the front piece of her brother's uniform and they both shared a smile. Their parents looked so proud in the audience.

Fluttershy began waving her wand, which made the birds sing. When they started singing, the crowd look over to the doors and the two royal guards used their magic to open them. Behind them were the Cutie Mark Crusders: the flower girls. They skipped in, and threw flower petals from their baskets onto the floor and Princess Cadance began walking in after them. Five birds lifted the end of her dress as she headed towards the front.

Twilight: Seriously, though. I get why the queen of the changelings wanted to be with you, but how did you get someone as amazing as Cadance to marry you?

Shining Armor: I told her she wouldn't just be gaining a husband. She'd be getting a pretty great sister, too.

Twilight returned with a warm smile. Cadance continued to walk down the isle as the birds continued singing. Rarity began crying and wiped her tears. Applejack pulled out her hat and put it on. Cadance walked up the steps to meet Shining Armor and they both looked at each other and then at Princess Celestia.

Celestia: Mares, gentlecolts, guests of honor...

The trio waved at her.

Celestia: ...we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the real Princess Mi Amore Cadenza

Cadance: Princess Cadance is fine.

Celestia: (Smile) Hm. The union of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable. May we have the rings please?

Spike carried the pillow with the rings. The Princess used her magic to lift them and gently placed them on the Bride and Groom's horns.

Celestia: I now pronounce you mare and colt!

Everybody in the wedding hall cheered for them. Afterwards, the bride and groom step out to a balcony and happily waved at the crowd of cheering ponies. The princess placed her hoof on Twilight.

Celestia: This is your victory as much as theirs. You persisted in the face of doubt, and your actions led to your being able to bring the real Princess Cadance back to us. Learning to trust your instincts is a valuable lesson to learn.

As Shining Armor and Cadance kissed on the balcony, Celestia wrapped her wing around Rainbow Dash.

Celestia: (Whisper) Rainbow Dash, that's your cue.

Rainbow's eyes widened and then rushed out, leaving her dress behind. She spread her wings and flew out towards the balcony and created a circle of colors. She rose into the air at great speed and then dove downwards. She increased her speed and left behind her a rainbow. The trio's mouths were wide-opened when they saw the sonic rainboom in the sky.

Rainbow Dash: Best... wedding... ever!

At sunset, the evening wedding reception took place in the courtyard, where the newlyweds started dancing. Princess Luna flew in next to the Mane Six, Celestia, and the trio.

Luna: Hello, everypony. Did I miss anything?

Glory: Um, who are you?

Celestia: This is my younger sister, Princess Luna. She's the Princess of the night.

Luna: My sister has told me you three are from another dimension?

The trio smiled at each other.

Stewie: Indeed.

Glory: We are.

Brian: And are you available?

Stewie: B-Brian, just give it up. You tried to hit on Celestia, you tried to hit on the Changeling Queen when she was Cadance, a-and now you're hitting on another princess from 'another dimension'?

Glory: Seriously dude, you really gotta get a life.

Brian: (Sigh)

They laughed at Brian before Pinkie rushed out of the group and headed towards the DJ machines next to DJ Pon-3.

Pinkie Pie: Let's get this party started!

The music played and Pinkie Pie passed the microphone to Twilight, who caught it with her magic and began singing while everybody danced.

_"Love is in bloom"_

_"A beautiful bride, a handsome groom"_

_"Two hearts becoming one"_

_"A bond that cannot be undone because"_

_"Love is in bloooom"_

_"A beautiful bride, a handsome groom"_

_"I said love is in bloooom"_

_"You're starting a life and making room"_

_"For us"_

During the song, there were a montage of stuff going on. Shining Armor and Cadance were dancing. Pinkie Pie was on the ground eating a huge piece of cake. Applejack was playing the violin. Spike was dancing with Sweetie Belle. Rainbow Dash was with one of the members of the Wonderbolts. Rarity was with Fancypants. And the trio took a group picture with the Mane Six and Spike.

Later, Twilight used her magic to open the door to Cadance and Shining Armor's carriage. Cadance was the first in.

Shining Armor: Twilight! None of this would've been possible without you, little sis. Love ya, Twily.

Twilight: Love you too, B.B.B.F.F.

The two siblings hugged before Shining Armor entered the carriage.

Shining Armor: Ready to go?

Cadance: Oh! Almost forgot.

She tossed her bouquet to female ponies, until Rarity got in the way and caught them.

Rarity: IT'S MINE!

Rarity laughed nervously as the girls gave her angry stares. The others laughed at that manner before the trio came together.

Brian: Well guys...

Stewie: It's been quite an adventure, but I'm afraid our two days are up. So it's time for us to be getting back home now.

Applejack: Aw, yer sure you three can't stay? There's still a lot more fritters for yer taste buds to enjoy.

Glory: Hehe! Thanks, Applejack, but we really gotta go. Besides, our mom would freak if she thought we were lost in the flood.

Rarity: Well, I suppose it is for the best. We're all going to miss you.

Applejack and Rarity hugged Glory; Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash hugged Brian; and Stewie was with Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Um, Stewie, there's something I want to give you before you go.

Stewie: Really, what's that?

Fluttershy planted a kiss on Stewie's left cheek. Stewie felt his cheek after Fluttershy kissed it.

Stewie: (Blush) Um, wh-what was that for?

Fluttershy: Mmm, I just think you're the cutest baby ever!

Stewie: (Smile) Gee, thanks Fluttershy! By the way, I take back what I said about you and your friends names. They're wonderful names actually, and yours is beautiful.

Fluttershy blushed and the two hugged. Shining Armor and Princess Cadance smiled at this beautiful moment. After they hugged, Stewie went over to Glory and Brian and turned on the return pad before the trio stepped on it.

Stewie: Let's go home!

Stewie pushed the button on his remote and the return pad had a white static aura around it and the trio. They turned into a white beam and shot up in the air as Shining Armor and Princess Cadance left in the royal carriage. The Mane Six and Spike, on Pinkie Pie's head, happily watched the married couple and their different dimension friends take their leave.

Twilight: Now this.. was a great wedding.

Spike: Oh yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party! Hehehehe.

After the Mane Six began laughing, fireworks were lighting the night sky above Canterlot before the white beam disappeared and left behind a few twinkles in the sky.

**(Fanfiction Towers)**

Dbzfreak60: And part two is finally finished. Phew.

The trio came in the door with their hands behind their backs.

Dbzfreak60: Oh, hey guys.

Brian: Hello Dbz. Um, from what I heard behind the door, I guess we're done?

Dbzfreak60: Yep, that's right. The entire Road to Canterlot is finally complete. I assume you guys are upset about your 'wasted' moment here in my office?

Glory: Nah, but speaking of which, we would like to say we're sorry about what we said about our Grand Theft Auto moments. We looked back, and then we realized that we found them quite hilarious.

Dbzfreak60: Really? Ya did?

Stewie: Yes, we did, and they were really funny. In fact...

He slowly turned his head to the side with a sinister smile.

Stewie: ...they were so funny, we would like to return the favor.

I quickly got up from my chair.

Dbzfreak60: Wait, what?

The trio pulled out pistols they were hiding behind them and shot barrages of bullets at me. The bullets went through my body, my suit was covered with blood, and I was moving back while they were shooting me. When my back touched the glass window, the window broke and I was falling 50 stories down.

Dbzfreak60: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!

Just like Ricky Tan in Rush Hour 2, I fell on top of a taxicab. The second my back touched the cab's roof, the screen went black and white, and the entire roof was damaged. As for my body, it bounced off the roof of the cab in slow motion and rolled onto the sidewalk.

**(WASTED)**

One second later, I was in front of the Hospital looking at how much money I lost.

Dbzfreak60: (Gasp)

{Dbzfreak60's Money: $500,000,000,000,000 minus $500,000,000,000,000 equals $0}

At this moment, I was angrily shaking my fist in the air while looking at the sky.

Dbzfreak60: DAMN YOU, FAMILY GUY TRIO! YOU BASTARDS COST ME A FORTUNE!

**Author's Note: I would like to consider this Road to Adventure a Christmas Present to all the Family Guy fans and bronies in the world. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! Now if you all excuse me, I'm gonna go make the Family Guy Trio pay for killing me... and costing me a lot of money.**


	12. Road to Tokyo (Part 1)

The screen shows the buildings of Quahog.

Tom: The city of Quahog...

A huge explosion happened, which caused a building to collapse.

Tom: ...is in great danger!

The scene cuts to Tom Tucker on the streets.

Tom: This is Tom Tucker and I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Tom and his camera guy dropped their microphone and camera and started running away screaming like the other Quahog citizens. After the building crashed to the ground, Stewie was running from rooftop to rooftop. And while we was running, he was shooting blasts from his ray gun at a little flying blue robot boy, who was chasing him. And while he was chasing Stewie, the boy was firing blue bolts at him.

Mecha-Boi: Hehehehehahaha!

Stewie: Ah, the Hell with this.

After putting his ray gun away, Stewie stopped and turned to the little robot boy.

Stewie: Alright, Bitch! Let's settle this like men!

Mecha-Boi: HEEHEEHEE!

The boy flew towards Stewie fast and a huge smoke occured when they collided. When the smoke cleared, they started throwing punches at each other and seemed to be evenly matched, but Mecha-Boi was landing the most punches. He punched Stewie's face a few times and pushed him back with a kick. After a groan and cracking his knuckles, Stewie ran to Mecha-Boi and threw more punches and missed. Mecha-Boi dodged every attack and caught Stewie's fist with his bare hand. Once he caught it, he knocked Stewie on his back with another kick. Stewie got back up and wiped the blood off his mouth before charging at Mecha-Boi again.

On the streets, Glory was thrown at a streetlight post before hitting the ground. After lifting her head up a bit, she noticed a huge yellow ball rolling towards her.

Glory: Aw no!

With all her strength, she hopped out of the way and did a backflip while picking up a long steel pipe off the ground. When she did, the yellow ball crashed into the streetlight and the brick wall of a building. The ball turned to face Glory and revealed its true form. It turned out to be a round yellow robot with long arms named Timoko. After charging at the robot, Glory and Timoko had a little sword fight with each other using Glory's steel pipe and Timoko's steel medal claws. They seemed evenly matched at the first few strikes until Timoko pinned Glory down to the ground. She kept trying to push back Timoko's medal claws with her steel pipe. Brian got on all four of his paws and ran to Glory's rescue.

Brian: Hold on, Glory. I'm coming!

After noticing that he passed up a pink cat girl, who was hanging upside down from a street sign, he walked back to her and leaned his hand against the wall.

Brian: Hey, baby! How's it hangin'? Do those legs go all the way up?

Glory: (Groan) Damn it, Brian! Stop skrewing around and gimme a hand over here.

The cat girl spoke to Brian in Japanese.

Nya-Nya: Ehmhmhmhm! You're cute. Too bad I'll have to punish you.

Brian: Ohh, you must be from Asia! Ya know, for a minute, I thought you were from Tennessee, 'cause you, baby, are the only "ten" I-

Nya-Nya hopped onto the ground and clawed Brian high in the air and he crashed through the glass window of a small store.

Brian: Aaarrgh! Ooh!

After rubbing his face and eyes from the pain, he walked out the front door of the store and stopped in front of Nya-Nya.

Brian: Alright, Alright! Maybe I over did it a little bit. So how 'bout you and I start ov-

She lifted Brian up by his collar and threw him across the street.

Brian: AAAUUUGH!

He crashed through another glass window of a bakery. A few seconds later, he walked out the front door of the bakery while rubbing his head and his eyes.

Brian: Aaaarrgh! Ugh! OOH!

He barely opened his eyes when he noticed that he bumped into the cat girl again.

Brian: A-A-Are you, are you sure you don't want me to get into your panties?

Nya-Nya: Mhmhmhm!

Brian: So is that a yes?

Nya-Nya lifted Brian up by his collar again.

Brian: Aw, come on!

She punched Brian in the face three times, clawed his face twice, and threw him in mid-air. Then she jumped to where Brian was and sent him a roundhouse kick. That massive kick sent Brian down the street to where Timoko and Glory's fight was. Before hitting the ground, Brian crashed in the brick wall that Timoko crashed into. Glory ran towards Timoko and jumped into the air. And just when she was about to strike at the head, Timoko used his right claw to grab one end of the pipe while Glory was hanging on the other end.

Glory: Aw crap!

Timoko used his left claw to smack Glory to the right, and she hit the brick wall and landed on the ground next to Brian. Even Stewie was having a tough time. On the rooftop, Stewie was breathing heavily while Mecha-Boi laughed with his arms crossed. Stewie quickly pulled out his ray gun and pointed it at Mecha-Boi. The second he did, Mecha-Boi fired a blue bolt, which shot Stewie's gun out of his hand. After that, he flew towards Stewie and shot him up in the air with an uppercut. Mecha-Boi flew even higher and elbowed Stewie down to the ground, where he crash landed on Glory and Brian. The trio moaned and groaned in pain and could barely move. Mecha-Boi stared down at the trio as he flew next to Nya-Nya, who was sitting on Timoko's left shoulder. Glory hardly stood up before Stewie did.

Stewie: You bastards! Oh, you may have won the battle, but next time, I will win the war. I WILL WIN IT I TELL YOU!

Glory: Why are you guys even doing this? Why?

Mecha-Boi: Hmph! Hehehehe! Brushogun!

Nya-Nya: Brushogun!

The trio looked at each other with confusion.

Glory: What?

Mecha-Boi: Hehehehehe!

He waved goodbye at the trio.

Mecha-Boi: SAYONARAAAA!

He opened his mouth wide open and launched a blue rocket right at the trio.

Stewie: (Gasp)

Stewie quickly pushed a button on his wristwatch. Once he did, a silver shield formed in front of him. After Glory and Brian took cover behind Stewie, the rocket was still heading towards them. The scene shows a huge cloud of smoke appearing in the middle of the town once the rocket came in contact with the shield.

Jazzy Family Guy Music played in the background.

The first Pic starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents"

A second pic shows the screen that says "Road to Tokyo"

The third shows the trio drinking cups of tea at a table outside.

The fourth shows the Titans looking at their 'Teen Titans Go' counterparts through a portal.

The fifth shows Glory and Akihiko holding hands while running from two of Brushogun's creations; the yellow robot Timoko and the black ghost Scarface.

The sixth shows the trio, Penelope, and Akihiko riding bikes down a mountain.

The seventh shows Beast Boy being chased by teenage Japanese girls.

The eighth shows the trio fighting Kazuya, Jin, and Heihachi from Tekken.

The ninth shows Stewie and Penelope running from Brushogun's Godzilla look-alike creation, Deka-Mido.

The tenth shows the trio fighting each other with Katana swords.

The eleventh shows the trio and Beast Boy as clowns, trying to make an annoyed Raven laugh.

The twelfth shows Stewie and Brian fencing on a bridge in Japan.

The thirteenth shows the trio riding Duel Runners in New Domino City. The city from Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's, not from Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V.

The fourteenth shows the trio, the Titans, Penelope, and Akihiko going up against Daizo as a huge ink monster.

And the final one shows the trio, the Titans, Penelope, and Akihiko on stage waving at the whole city of Tokyo.

**(Jump City)**

In the streets, there was a bunch of traffic going on until a truck stopped before it could run over a pink and blue ninja.

Truck Driver: What are you, crazy? Get out of the way!

The ninja threw a pink throwing star at the windshield. It was cutting through, but the driver jumped out before it got to him. Once the star touched the seat, it exploded. The ninja started running down the street and threw exploding pink and blue throwing stars everywhere. There were some destroyed vehicles, pink and blue smoke clouds, and people running away. A bus stopped in front of him and the people inside was running to get off. Just when the ninja was about to throw a pink throwing star, a birdarang swooped in and knocked the throwing star out of the ninja's hand. The ninja then did some backflips to avoid a green bird, a sonic blast, starbolts, and black magic. With one big backflip, he hopped on top of a streetlight. He looked up and spotted the Teen Titans.

Robin: Since you're new in town, we're going to make this very simple.

Starfire: Stop now!

Cyborg: Yeah, man. The locals don't like it when you blow up their stuff.

Robin: Put your hands in the air and-

The ninja jumped off the streetlight and flew away on his pink and blue jetpack.

Beast Boy: Hands in the air, dude, not your whole body!

Raven: Tourists.

Robin: Titans, go!

The Titans sprung into action and went after the ninja. Starfire and Raven flew, Robin put on his helmet and rode on his R-Cycle, Beast Boy turned into a cheetah, and Cyborg drove his car.

Raven: Anybody got a clue what this genius is after?

Cyborg: Who cares what he wants? What he's getting is a helping of Grade-A butt-whoop!

Robin: Alright, team. Let's see what he's made of!

Robin fired rockets from his R-Cycle at the ninja in the sky, but the ninja threw throwing stars at them and they exploded. He flew backwards in between Starfire and Raven and made a turn. Beast Boy turned back and chased after the ninja. To his surprise, pink and blue flying discs were coming right at him. Beast Boy quickly turned into a turtle and hid in his shell before the discs exploded. He popped his head out of his shell and saw pink and blue smoke clouds close to him and the ninja flying away. In the air, the ninja dodged all of Raven and Starfire's blasts and even deflected them with a nunchuck before flying away. On the street where Robin and Cyborg were, the ninja was dropping bombs on them before spotting Titans Tower dead ahead. Beast Boy swooped in at the ninja as a bird, but the ninja threw an exploding star at him. After it exploded, Beast Boy turned back to normal and fell on a circle made of Raven's magic.

Beast Boy: Okay, am I the only one who's sick of these explodey things?

Raven: Does this look like a taxi to you?

Beast Boy: No. It's way too flat and circley.

Raven made a hole open up and Beast Boy fell through it. He turned into a pterodactyl to fly before he could hit the ground. Cyborg drove up to the ninja and saw him holding throwing stars.

Cyborg: I know you're not throwing that in my car!

Cyborg fired a sonic blast at the ninja's blue arm and it broke off. His arm regenerated and flashed into different colors before it turned blue again. Cyborg was shocked when he saw the ninja's arm regenerate.

Cyborg: How did he do that?

The ninja threw a blue throwing star in Cyborg's car.

Cyborg: Aw man!

Cyborg took off his seatbelt and opened his door. Before his car exploded, Cyborg grabbed Beast Boy's pterodactyl legs and they flew off. The ninja kept flying towards Titans Tower until Starfire tapped his shoulder.

Starfire: Uh, excuse me, but I did not wish to do this when you were not looking.

She tried to punch him, but the ninja grabbed her and threw her against the air and flung throwing stars at her and they exploded around her. Starfire started screaming and falling until Robin grabbed her hand and she was now riding with Robin on his R-Cycle.

Robin: You okay?

Starfire: I am now.

Robin: Then hang on!

Starfire and Robin were now going after the flying ninja on the R-Cycle. Robin fired energy blasts from his R-Cycle, but they missed the ninja. After Robin kept going straight and passing up the ninja, the ninja made a turn for a dead end.

Starfire: But he went-

Robin: Down a dead end.

After reaching the dead end, the ninja crashed through a building and flew in front of the R-Cycle. Robin continued to fire more blasts from his R-Cycle, but they still missed the ninja. A shuttle train got in their way, so Robin decided to drive onto the train and drive after the ninja. The ninja kept flying straight as the shuttle train was about to make a turn.

Robin: Starfire! Fly!

Starfire carried Robin in the air as Robin left his R-Cycle behind. They flew after the ninja as the other Titans caught up.

Raven: Think we scared him off?

Robin: No. He's headed straight for-

Cyborg: Titans Tower!

The ninja threw explosives all around the Tower. There were many clouds of Pink and Blue smoke all over the place and the inside was heavily damaged. Beast Boy, still as a pterodactyl, flew upward after the ninja while Cyborg was still hanging on.

Cyborg: You're gonna lose a lot more than an arm this time!

The ninja avoided every blast Cyborg shot at him. After that, the ninja threw more throwing stars at Cyborg and Beast Boy, causing them to fall, but Starfire flew in and caught them.

Raven: Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!

She used her powers to crush the ninja with two boulders. After separating the boulders, the ninja revealed to be unharmed, flew up after Raven, and kicked her through a hole in the Tower. After Robin jumped off the roof, he and the ninja were sparring before Robin caught the ninja in rope and made him dangle upside down. The ninja was caught before dropping a pink throwing star.

Cyborg: Our house! Look what he did to our house!

Beast Boy: Dude, I need a vacation.

Robin let the tied-up ninja down as the Titans surrounded him.

Robin: Who are you? What do you want?

The ninja spoke in Japanese, so the Titans couldn't understand him.

Beast Boy: Um, either that wasn't English, or I think I have a concussion.

Robin walked up to the pink throwing star on the ground and it curled up into a pink sphere. Robin picked it up and looked curious. Later, inside the Tower, it looked completely damaged.

Raven: What a mess!

Beast Boy: (Sigh) I really need a vacation.

Cyborg: I can rebuild my car, I can repair my Tower, but my sofa?

He whined about the damaged sofa.

Cyborg: I can't even look.

Starfire flew next to him.

Starfire: Here, here, Cyborg.

After cheering him up, Raven used her powers to hand them a broom, a mop, and a bucket.

Raven: Well, this place isn't gonna clean itself.

Cyborg swept the floor, Starfire started mopping, and Raven started fixing a busted pipe and the ceiling. After that, she used her powers to give Beast Boy a small broom and a dustpan. After grabbing them, he started sweeping the small trash off the floor.

Beast Boy: Dudes, seriously! When was the last time we took a vacation?

Robin: Never.

Robin was fixing up the computer.

Robin: We're heroes, Beast Boy. We don't take vacations.

After he placed the screen and skrewing in a skrew, the computer was back on.

Robin: Basic systems are back online. If anybody needs me, you know where to look.

He then got out of his chair and walked out of the room, leaving the others behind with concerned looks.

**(Questioning Room)**

The ninja was cuffed to the table. He started to explain himself and his actions, but he was still speaking Japanese. So, Robin pushed a button to translate the ninja's words to english.

Computer: Translation computer on.

Saico-Tek: You must let me go! I am Saico-Tek! You are not to stop me! Only he may stop me! I belong in Tokyo!

Robin: Then why are you here? You attacked my home, endangered my friends, and if you want to see tomorrow, you're going to tell me why!

Saico-Tek: I was sent. My mission! He made me do it. This Tower, no choice!

Robin: Who sent you?

Saico-Tek tried to break free.

Saico-Tek: NO! NO! I am not supposed to speak! You are not supposed to catch me! He is worse than any criminal! Angry! Cruel! He will erase me!

Robin: Who sent you to attack our Tower?

Saico-Tek: Brushogun.

Saico-Tek lifted his legs over the table and broke a fire sprinkler. That made water splash down on them. Robin looked around and can tell that Saico-Tek had vanished.

**(About 10-05 minutes earlier at the Griffin's House)**

Akihiko was standing in the living room with his arms crossed while the trio were wiping the scratches and blood off of them from the fight.

Akihiko: I'm really sorry, guys. If I had known you were all in that much danger, I would've been there to help.

Glory: We don't blame you, Akihiko.

She walked up to her boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek.

Glory: Even if you had been there for us, it wouldn't have made a single difference.

Stewie finished cleaning himself off with a cloth before throwing the cloth on the floor.

Stewie: I can't believe we got our asses kicked. I swear to God, I have never felt such humiliation in all my life. Well, except for last month.

**(Flashback)**

Stewie: Alright, time to dress-up for picture day.

Stewie stood on a machine and it scanned his body from top to bottom. It scanned him again from bottom to top, but while it was scanning Stewie, it gave him different clothes. He's now dressed like a sailor.

Stewie: Excellent! I'm gonna give 'em a picture they'll never forget.

After Stewie left his room, his machine short-circuited a little. Later, at his school, it was his turn to have his picture taken.

Photographer: Okay, Stewie, Smile!

Stewie smiled and gave a salute.

Photographer: 3... 2... 1...

At home, his machine shut down the second the Photographer took the picture.

Photographer: Click!

After the camera flashed, the screen showed Stewie's picture. He kept his salute and smile while he was completely naked.

**(Reality)**

Brian was sitting on the floor, wiping his face.

Brian: I swear, if I had some upper body strength, a great hair-do...

Glory: That cat girl would still kick your behind, Brian.

Brian: (Sigh) Yeah!

Stewie: Well, all I know is that I'll never forget the last thing they said to us. Brushogun!

Something clicked in Akihiko's mind.

Brian: Yeah, I wonder what the Hell that even means. Is that like.. a brush.. where you can brush a gun?

Stewie: Hell if I know? I think it sounds like a food.

Akihiko: Guys! Guys! You're not even close.

Glory: What do you mean they're not even close?

Brian: Akihiko, do you.. do you know something about this?

Akihiko: I dunno. But from what I've heard, Brushogun is Tokyo's first supervillian. But everybody in Tokyo say that he's just a myth. That's pretty much all I know about him.

Stewie: Well, it would seem to me that he's no myth at all. If he is real, he must've sent those bastards to attack us and our home.

Brian: Say no more, Stewie. I already know what you're going to say next. We are going to Tokyo and we're gonna take this Brushogun guy down.

Stewie: That's right, Brian. But did you also knew that I was going to ask how we're going to get there? 'Cause clearly, the machine I made that brought us to Las Vegas is no help anymore and we don't have enough money for plane tickets.

Brian: I-I... no I did not.

Akihiko: You don't have to pay for your plane tickets.

Stewie: I'm sorry?

Glory: What do ya mean?

Akihiko: Well...

He pulled out a letter from his pocket and unfolded it. And in it were plane tickets.

Akihiko: Before I came here, Glory, I received this letter from my parents in Tokyo. They want you and your family to fly with me there so they can meet you.

Brian: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute. Your parents are in another country and they left their kid alone? Don't you know they could be arrested for abandonment? A-And I'm pretty sure it's also wrong of you being all alone in a house with a young girl.

Glory: Relax Brian, we didn't do anything too far.

Akihiko: And another thing, my parents trust me completely. They know that I'm very responsible.

Brian went to Akihiko and started sniffing him.

Brian: Alright, I believe you.

Stewie: Well, before we go, there's something I gotta do first.

He went upstairs off-screen. One second later, he came back.

Stewie: Brian, remember when you, Peter, Joe, and Quagmire were in that virtual simulation?

Brian: Yeah?

Stewie: Come with me.

Akihiko, Brian, and Glory followed Stewie upstairs. When they went into Stewie's room, Stewie showed them that Peter, Lois, Chris, and Meg were strapped down and were inside the simulation.

Akihiko: Whoa, this is pretty amazing!

Stewie: Everyone, come over here and take a look.

They watched the monitor and saw Peter, Lois, Chris, and Meg fighting each other at the hospital.

Stewie: This is why it'd be better to leave them here.

Glory: Smart thinking, Stewie.

Stewie: And Akihiko, if your parents ask, say they have food-poisoning.

Akihiko: Got it.

They exited the room and walked downstairs.

Brian: Wait, I just thought of something. The virtual reality thing was over for me after I got killed. What if they wake up and find out we're gone?

Stewie: Don't worry, Brian. I knew they would wake up as soon as they kill each other. So in case they do, I decided to put the whole thing on loop so they can start all over again. And it's 100% safe.

After they made it downstairs, Stewie walked up to the window.

Stewie: Well, it would appear that everything is in place now. We have two reasons to go to Japan. To take down Brushogun and to meet Akihiko's family. There's just only one last thing left to do.

**(1 minute earlier at Titans Tower)**

Robin continued to stare at the pink sphere in his hand.

Robin: This doesn't make any sense. People don't just disappear.

Cyborg tapped a few buttons on the crime scanner.

Cyborg: I don't know what to tell you, man. The crime scanner's one of the only things we got working in this place and it can't find him anywhere.

Raven was floating in the air, concentrating.

Raven: I can't make psychic contact either.

Starfire walked up next to Robin.

Starfire: Perhaps this Saico-Tek possesses the power of teleportation?

Robin: If he could teleport, he would have done it the moment he was caught.

Beast Boy waved his hand in the air.

Beast Boy: Oh! Oh! Maybe he just wasn't waterproof.

Raven and Cyborg gave him death stares.

Beast Boy: I know. Not helpin'.

Cyborg turned to Robin.

Cyborg: So if the dude vanished into thin air, how are we supposed to find him?

Robin: By tracking down his boss. This Brushogun ordered an attack on our headquarters. He nearly destroyed our home. He will be brought to justice.

Stewie: There's just only one last thing left to do.

Stewie and Robin turned to their friends.

Stewie and Robin: Pack your things. We're heading for Tokyo.

Akihiko, Brian, and Glory nodded as Beast Boy said...

Beast Boy: SWEET! We're going on vacation!

Background music played and the title 'The Road to Tokyo' appeared above Beast Boy as he grabbed a shovel and used it to pack his suitcase with everything in his room. They piled up so much in his suitcase, they wouldn't fit. So, Beast Boy sat on his luggage and turned into a mammoth so his stuff would fit in his suitcase. After that, he grabbed his heavy suitcase and left his room.

Stewie packed his blue backpack with diapers, his ray gun, and even a teen magazine with a shirtless Taylor Lautner on the cover. After that, he put on his backpack and left out of his room.

Silkie was sleeping on Robin's backpack. So, Robin grabbed his backpack and put it on his back. As for Silkie, Robin folded one of his uniforms from his closet and placed it under Silkie so he could be more comfy. After rubbing Silkie's back, Robin left his room.

Brian was in a creepy mood to sneak up on Lois and unbutton her shirt. After unbuttoning two of her buttons, Stewie grabbed Brian's ear and dragged him away from Lois.

Cyborg was packing some extra parts of his body. He packed an extra arm, an extra leg, but not an extra head. That was weird. So he dropped his extra head, closed his suitcase, and left.

Glory packed her suitcase with her clothes, some food, and even shrugged her shoulders before packing even a watermelon. After she finished packing, she left her room.

Raven walked into the bathroom, grabbed her toothbrush, and walked right back out.

Akihiko was walking out his front door with his backpack and his suitcase. After looking back at his living room, he let out a sigh, turned off the lights, and closed the door behind him.

Starfire took some pinkish-bluish, creature looking, vacuum and sucked all her clothes into it from her closet and left.

After putting their luggage in the trunk of Brian's car, they were on their way to the airport. Stewie sat next to Brian, and Glory and Akihiko sat in the back. At Titans Tower, Cyborg was trying so hard to push the bags into the T-Ship. However, the bags pushed Cyborg in the air after they couldn't fit.

While the Titans were figuring out a way to fit their luggage in the T-Ship, the trio and Akihiko were already next in line at the airport. They handed over their plane tickets and got on their plane. After the Titans decided to tie their bags outside the T-Ship with rope, they were now on their way to Tokyo, by flying the T-Ship to the left side of the world. At the same time, the trio and Akihiko were flying to the right side of the world.

While in the middle of the ocean, the Titans were having an argument about directions. Before they could continue on, Beast Boy needed to go to the bathroom. After knowing that they could all use a bathroom break, they stopped by an island with four porta-potties and a palm tree. Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven went into the porta-potties. Beast Boy, on the other hand, turned into a dog and went to the palm tree.

During the Titans' bathroom break, the trio and Akihiko's plane was getting closer to Japan. After a long flight, their plane finally landed. After getting off the plane, they went outside the airport.

Akihiko: Guys, welcome to Tokyo, Japan.

The trio were fascinated when they caught a glimpse of Tokyo. The tall buildings, the colorful signs, everything.

Glory: Wow!

Stewie: You said it, sis. This whole city is... beautiful!

Brian: Yeah, I know! Real exquisite! Ya know, I gotta say, this place is even better than the inside of Kathy Bates' ear.

**(Cutaway Gag)**

Kathy walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet behind her mirror. And while she was looking for a bag of cotton swabs, the camera zoomed into her right ear. Inside her ear were too much earwax and two of her ear hairs having a conversation.

Ear Hair 1: Hey, did you hear about our leg hair friends from the left leg?

Ear Hair 2: Uh, no. What happened?

Ear Hair 1: Let just say this bitch was in the middle of a waxing and sent our neighbors on a vacation to swirlyville.

Ear Hair 2: Aw my God! They were so young too.

Ear Hair 1: I know. So next time, when she least expects it... (Gasp) Wait a minute.

The first ear hair noticed a cotton swab coming at them.

Ear Hair 1: Oh crap! She's waxing again.

Ear Hair 2: Let's get the Hell outta here.

They wiggled around, but couldn't escape. When the swab got to them, it turned around to get the wax.

Ear Hair 1 and Ear Hair 2: AAAAAAUUUGHH!

All of a sudden, the first ear hair broke off and was stuck to the cotton swab.

Ear Hair 1: AAAAUUGH!

Ear Hair 2: NO, COME BACK!

Ear Hair 1: I'm sorry. It's too late for me.

The swab was sliding out.

Ear Hair 1: TELL MY WIFE AND KIDS I LOVE THEEEEMM!

The second ear hair was all alone in the earwaxless ear.

Ear Hair 2: (Sniff) (Sniff) WHYYYYYYY!

**(Reality)**

Akihiko: Alright, listen up. I don't know for sure if Brushogun's real or not, but we're gonna deal with him later. So for now, let's just go to my parent's house and get this meet and greet over with. We don't wanna keep my folks waiting.

Stewie: Eh, I suppose that's a good idea. So let's get a move on.

Akihiko took the lead on the sidewalk, followed by Glory, then Brian, and then Stewie. Akihiko and Glory held their suitcases with their right hands to let them roll on the sidewalk. Akihiko held on to his left strap of his backpack with his left hand, Brian walked along with no luggage, and Stewie just walked behind Brian with his blue packpack on. After the four had a few minutes walking, Stewie stopped once he caught a glimpse of someone across the street.

Stewie: (Gasp)

Walking in the opposite direction across the street was Penelope from the episode "Mr. and Mrs. Stewie." After rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, Stewie opened his eyes and noticed that Penelope was gone.

Akihiko: Stewie!

Stewie noticed that everyone else was ahead.

Glory: Are you coming or what, bro?

Stewie: Huh?! Oh, yes, uh, right!

Stewie ran up to the rest of the gang as they continued to walk.

Brian: Are you okay, Stewie? What was that about?

Stewie: Well, uh, call me crazy, but... I could've sworn I just saw Penelope on the other side of the street.

Brian: W-wait a minute! Penelope? You mean that psycho who tried to kill me?

Stewie: Yes, and I wonder. What would she be doing here in Tokyo?

Brian took a moment to think.

Brian: Hold on. You don't think she's still trying to kill me, do you?

Stewie: What! Of course not. She promised to leave you alone and she'll leave you alone.

Brian: How do ya know?

Stewie: We kissed.

Brian had a surprised look on his face.

Stewie: And it was niiiiice!

Glory noticed that Akihiko had a bitter look on his face.

Glory: Hey, Akihiko? I noticed you're a bit... angry. Is everything okay?

Akihiko: Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm just really nervous about you guys meeting my parents. I mean what if things turn out bad?

Glory held Akihiko's hand.

Glory: Come on. You don't have anything to worry about.

Brian: She's right, Akihiko. Things will turn out okay. You just gotta think of the positives.

Akihiko: (Sigh) I guess so, Brian. I just hope it'll all go better than when I gave my order to that counterguy at Burger King.

**(Flashback)**

Akihiko: Yeah, I think I'll have.. two double cheeseburgers!

Opie: WABLOO! WADLOOWAWAWABLOO!

Akihiko: Uh, I'll also have a large fries.

Opie: WADALLOOWADLOOWADLOO!

Akihiko: And.. a medium Sprite.

Opie: WABALOOWADLOO! WABLOOWABLOO!

Akihiko: And can you please hold your saliva this time?

Opie: WADLOOWADLOO! WADLOOWADLOO!

Akihiko: Yer not gonna be careful, are you?

Opie: WADALOOWABLOOWABWABLOO!

**(Reality)**

On the other side of town, the Titans finally came to Tokyo after parking the T-Ship near a mountain.

Cyborg: Tokyo! We made it!

He turned his attention to Robin.

Cyborg: Told you it was a left at Hawaii.

Robin had a disappointed look on his face.

Starfire: Oh, the city lights are like a million tiny fenorbla flies!

Robin: It may look nice, but there's something rotten down there. And we're going to-

Robin was interrupted by Beast Boy, who jumped off the T-Ship wearing a Pink Hawaiian shirt and white shorts.

Beast Boy: Whoo-yeah! Hello, Japan! So, when do we get to go see the Great Wall?

Raven: Never. It's in China.

Beast Boy: Ooh, but you know what is in Tokyo? The world famous, number one greatest, most awesome Japanese comic book company, Wakamono Shuppan!

Beast Boy started pulling Raven and Cyborg to go with him.

Beast Boy: Oh, we gotta take the tour! Now! Please? Oh, we can't come here on vacation and not-

He stopped once his back hit Robin.

Robin: We are not on vacation! We're heroes, not tourists. Our mission is to locate Brushogun and bring him to justice. And since we're guests in this country, we need to be on our best behavior. So let's just do our job and try to stay out of trouble.

The Titans except Beast Boy followed Robin.

Beast Boy: Come on. How much trouble could we possibly get in?

Knowing he was far behind, Beast Boy ran after his friends down the mountain. What they didn't know was that they were being monitored by a mysterious silhouette in a secret location.

Silhouette Man: So, the Teen Titans have come to Tokyo. Saico-Tek must have talked. Most unfortunate. Hmm?!

The silhouette looked at the monitors on his right and zoomed in. He saw the trio and Akihiko walking on the sidewalk. He zoomed in on Akihiko's face.

Silhouette Man: Well, it appears my old friend, Akihiko, has come to Tokyo as well. And it would seem that he has brought some friends. This is quite the unexpected surprise! Don't you agree, my friend? But you needn't worry. I will soon give them 'all' a good reason to leave.

He pressed a couple of buttons under the moniter to start some kind of machine.

**(Akihiko's Parents House)**

After a long walk, they finally made it to Akihiko's parents house, and Akihiko was right at the front door.

Akihiko: Well, this is it.

He looked behind him and saw the trio with wide-eyed looks on their faces and wide-opened mouths.

Akihiko: Time to meet my family.

They were still frozen. So Akihiko went to them and snapped his fingers in their faces.

Akihiko: Helloooo!

Trio: Huh? W-what? Oh!

Akihiko: Are you three okay?

Brian: Huh? Oh yeah, we're fine. It's just... i-it's just your parents house got to us.

Akihiko looked back at his parents house.

Akihiko: What about it?

The screen revealed that his parents house looked exactly like the Griffin's house in the Japanese Universe, only slightly bigger.

Stewie: Let's just say it looks familiar to us.

Two boys inside the house were wearing newspaper hats and were having a sword fight with wooden swords when suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Janice: I'll get it.

While the two boys were having their sword fight, a little girl skipped her way to the front door. She slid the door to the right and saw who it was.

Akihiko: Hey!

The girl had twinkles in her eyes and was really happy. She was so happy, she rushed to Akihiko's left leg and hugged it.

Janice: Oh, Akihiko! It's so great to see you again, bro.

Akihiko: Ehehehe! Okay Janice, you can let go now.

He tried to get her off his leg, but she wouldn't let go.

Akihiko: Alright, let's just go inside.

He decided to lift his left and hop his way into the house.

Stewie: I can tell this isn't going to end well, or even start for that matter.

While the trio followed him inside, the two young boys continued their sword fight.

Hideaki: Haha! You cannot defeat me!

Yuri: That is where you are wrong, my friend.

The two boys noticed Akihiko trying to get Janice off his leg.

Akihiko: Seriously, you can let go of my leg now.

Hideaki and Yuri: AUGH! AHAHAHA! AKIHIKOOO!

They ran towards him with excitement.

Akihiko: Aw no.

They jumped on him and they crashed onto the floor laughing.

Glory: Aw, these kids are so adorable.

Stewie: So am I, but I don't need to laugh to be adorable.

Brian: Yeah ya do. You just have to be tickled.

Stewie: I do not.

Brian started tickling Stewie.

Stewie: AHAHAHAHA!

While he was laughing, his eyes became sparkley blue. When the tickling stopped, his eyes returned to normal.

Stewie: Well, I suppose you told me so, didn't you?

Coming out of the kitchen was another little girl and a young-looking middle-aged woman with a pink long-sleeved shirt, pink leggings, a white apron, and glasses.

Hanako: What is all the commotion in here?

They all stopped laughing as Akihiko sat up from the floor.

Hanako: (Gasp) Oh my.

The little girl was so excited and happy, she ran towards Akihiko.

Kyoko: AKIHIKOOO!

Akihiko facepalmed.

Akihiko: Crap, not again.

The girl jumped on Akihiko, wrapped her arms around his neck, and they fell to the floor.

Akihiko: Come on, guys. What is this? Dogpile On Akihiko Day?

Janice, Hideaki, and Yuri: Yeeeaah! Dogpile!

They all jumped on Akihiko and they all laughed.

Stewie: It appears I was wrong. This is so far going better than I thought.

After they had their laugh, Akihiko finally got back up and went up to his mom.

Akihiko: Hi mother.

His mom let out a few tears before hugging him.

Hanako: (Sob) Oh son! I'm so happy to see you again.

Akihiko: (Blush) Come on, mom. You're embarrassing me.

Stewie: You should be embarrassed.

Stewie took out his camera phone.

Akihiko: Wait, Stewie! Don't-

He took a pic of Hanako hugging Akihiko.

Stewie: Hashtag MommasBoy!

Akihiko: Oh haha! Real mature.

She stopped hugging him.

Hanako: I... I missed you, son.

Akihiko: I missed you too, mom!

Everyone was quiet when they heard footsteps on the stairs. Entering the living room from the stairs was a man wearing khaki pants, a light blue long-sleeved shirt under a red and blue striped sweatervest, and black shoes. And he had a full head of hair and a mustache.

Akihiko: Dad!

Keone: Son!

Glory: (Gulp)

Stewie: Oh boy! I'm guessing I was wrong again.

Hanako: Honey, you're awake! I thought you were asleep.

Keone: Yes, I was. I was waiting for our son to appear, until I sensed his presence.

Keone walked to his wife's right side.

Keone: Line up, children!

The four kids lined up next to their mom and dad. The trio were already standing side by side from each other by the door, and Akihiko was in the middle of the room.

Keone: My son, you know why we brought you here. But before we get to know one another, why don't you be so kind to introduce your family to your, uh... friends?

Akihiko: Um, sure!

He walked to his family members and introduced them from left to right.

Akihiko: Guys, this is my dad, Keone.

Keone: Hai!

Akihiko: And my mom, Hanako.

Hanako: A pleasure to meet you all.

The trio smiled nervously and waved.

Akihiko: And these four cute little ones are my five-year-old siblings! These two are my sisters. Janice!

Janice wore a sailor uniform, a blue skirt, red shoes, and had a ponytail in her hair.

Janice: Hi!

Akihiko: And Kyoko!

Kyoko wore the same outfit, but had two pigtails.

Kyoko: Hello!

Akihiko: And these two little dudes are my brothers. Hideaki!

Hideaki wore an orange shirt, dark blue pajama pants, no shoes, and spiky hair.

Hideaki: Konnichiwa!

Akihiko: And Yuri!

Yuri wore a red shirt, green pajama pants, no shoes, and spiky hair.

Yuri: Sup!

Akihiko: As you can see, their quadruplets.

Brian: Quadruplets!? Wow! We don't get that many look-alikes in Quahog. I haven't seen quadruplets since Peter was a member of the four Pet-

His mouth was covered by Stewie's hand.

Stewie: Uh, yeah! Let's hold on to the flashbacks for a while.

Hideaki: Cool! A talking baby and a talking dog!

Akihiko: Yep!

He went over to the trio.

Akihiko: This is Brian Griffin. This is Stewie Griffin.

Stewie: Yooo!

Akihiko: And this is Glory Griffin. My... girlfriend!

Quadruplets: Eeewww!

Hanako: (Gasp) Children, that is not how you react to young love.

Glory giggled as Akihiko facepalmed.

Akihiko: Still embarrassed over here.

Keone walked around the trio.

Keone: I see. And where are the rest of the family.

Akihiko sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

Akihiko: Uuumm, yeah, about that. See the thing is-

Glory: My family couldn't make it because they have food-poisoning.

Stewie: Yeah, I mean we would've stayed to take care of them, but lucky for us, we hired a personal nurse to take care of them.

Keone: Really!?

He said with a raised eyebrow.

Brian: Um, uh, yes sir.

Keone: Hmm, interesting indeed.

He started to walk into the kitchen.

Akihiko: Sooo, what are you thinking, father?

Keone looked back to his son.

Keone: I'm not sure, but we will discuss this later. In the meantime, why don't you all go explore Tokyo?

Glory: Sure.

Stewie: Okay.

Brian: Sounds good to me.

Keone: Children, take our guests luggage upstairs.

Stewie: But not my backpack. It's staying with me.

Janice carried Akihiko's suitcase upstairs. Kyoko carried Akihiko's backpack, and Hideaki and Yuri held Glory's suitcase.

Yuri: Ugh! What's in here? A watermelon?

Hideaki: Must be a giant rock.

Glory: (Thought) Why the Hell did I pack that watermelon in the first place?

The Quadruplets went upstairs and Keone went into the kitchen.

Hanako: Welcome back, Akihiko.

Akihiko: Thanks mom.

She went into the kitchen.

Glory: So, uh, do you think we made a good first impression?

Akihiko: I think so. And they seem to like you all.

Stewie: I, for one, enjoyed meeting your family. But it's gonna be hard to remember their names. Like trying to learn the names of characters of a new popular anime show.

On the right side of the house, an 18-year-old girl slid a door open. She wore a purple tank top, green shorts, brown sandals, and has long hair.

Narazuki: Hey, has anyone seen my...

Brian stared at her because of her fine body, but the girl noticed Akihiko.

Narazuki: Akihiko!

She ran towards him.

Akihiko: AW COME ON.

They crashed onto the floor and the girl noogied Akihiko on the head with her fist.

Akihiko: AGH! AGH! AGH! OH GOD! OH GOD! AGH!

She got up laughing.

Narazuki: Hahaha! I love doing that to you cous.

Akihiko got up off the floor and fixed his hair.

Akihiko: AGH! The one thing I'll never get use to. AGH!

While the girl was laughing some more, Brian took a look around her. He smiled like a pervert as he enjoyed her back side with those green shorts she got on. Someone on the stairs noticed Brian's actions. He's 19, wears fire shoes, fire pants, a black tank top under a fire jacket, a whistle around his neck, and spiky redish-yellow hair to look like fire.

Brian: So Akihiko, mind introducing us to this fine peace of work?

Akihiko: Well, um...

The dude on the stairs blew his whistle. That made everyone downstairs hear that. The dude ran downstairs, jumped into the air, and launched a kick at Brian. Brian crashed against the wall and hit the floor.

Brian: Aaaarrgh! Ugh! OOH!

Akihiko: Yeah, I should've warned you about that, Brian.

Stewie: It's not the first time that's happened.

The dude rushed to Brian and grabbed him by the collar.

Kenji: Don't EVER check out my sister like that AGAIN!

After letting Brian go, he focused on Akihiko.

Kenji: AKIHIKO!

He wrapped his arm around Akihiko's neck and noogied him on the head with his fist.

Akihiko: AGH! AGH! AGH! OH GOD! AGH! AGH!

Kenji: Hahahahaha!

He laughed while Akihiko fixed his hair.

Glory: More relatives?

Akihiko: Ugh, yeah! Guys, this is Stewie, Brian, and my girlfriend, Glory. And guys, these are my cousins, Narazuki and Kenji.

Kenji: It's an honor to meet you.

He stomped to scare Brian.

Brian: AGH! Okay, okay. I get it. I'm sorry.

Kenji: (Growl) Alright then.

Kenji started calming down.

Narazuki: Sorry about that. He gets overprotective. So anyway cousin, what are you doing back here in Tokyo?

Akihiko: Well, I brought my girlfriend and her family here to meet the family. Now that that's done, were gonna go out and have a look around town.

Narazuki: Awesome. I think I'll join you.

Akihiko: No, you don't have to-

Narazuki: I'll be back with my purse.

She went upstairs.

Kenji: And I'll be back with a baseball bat.

Kenji took five steps up the stairs and then glared at Brian.

Kenji: Just in case.

Brian's spine shivered as Kenji ran upstairs.

Stewie: See Bri? That's what happens when you try to flirt with someone you just met.

Brian: Oh shut up.

Akihiko: Okay, I'm gonna take a quick bathroom break. Be right back.

He ran upstairs.

Glory: Wow Brian, you've just met my boyfriends family, and you've already started flirting with one of his family members?

Stewie: I told him so.

Brian: Look, it's been a while since I've been with a woman, okay? So don't judge me.

The trio felt the ground shaking.

Glory: Whoa!

Brian: What the Hell is that?

Stewie: Appears to be some sort of earthquake.

Brian: Well whatever it is, we gotta get the Hell outta here.

The trio ran outside. They kept running and running and made a turn at an intersection. Before they could run some more, they screamed and jumped by surprise when a truck landed in front of them on its side.

Glory: Whoa! Where'd that come from?

Stewie: I don't know.

They climbed onto the truck and looked up. They saw a giant green monster named Deka-Mido.

Stewie: Holy crap! Is that Godzilla?

Glory: Impossible. Godzilla looks different from that thing.

Brian: Hold on you guys. Look over there.

They noticed that the ones fighting the monster were the Teen Titans.

Glory: Hey! It's the Teen Titans! Only better. But how?

Stewie: Hmmm! I dunno. But if I had to guess, I'd say that we have our own share of Teen Titans in our world.

Brian: W-wait a second. If those retarded Titans have counterparts in our universe, doesn't that mean we have counterparts in their universe?

Stewie: Well, it would appear so, Brian. And if so, I wonder what our counterparts are like.

**(Teen Titans Go! Universe)**

Glory walked into the kitchen.

TTG Glory: Hey Stewie. Have you seen Brian?

TTG Stewie: Yes I have. He's underground.

TTG Glory: Is he digging holes for his bone?

TTG Stewie: Nope!

TTG Glory: Is he digging his way to China?

TTG Stewie: Nope, he dead.

**(Reality)**

Stewie, Brian, and Glory: Let's never go back there again.

Stewie and Glory: Jinx!

Glory: Double Jinx!

Stewie: (Bleep)

The monster grabbed Starfire and then Robin threw one of his ammunition discs at the monster's head. That's when the monster let Starfire go.

Robin: Hey! Over here! Your mother was a salamander!

After the insult, the monster chased Robin, which is what Robin expected.

Brian: We're gonna help them, aren't we?

Stewie: You bet your sweet ass we are.

Glory: Then come on.

The trio ran after the monster and Raven didn't noticed. She flew to the ground and focused on Beast Boy, who woke up and noticed the stain on his shirt.

Beast Boy: Augh! How am I supposed to pick up hot Japanese girls with a big green stain on my shirt?

Raven floated in front of Beast Boy.

Raven: Your skin is green, you have fangs, and your ears are pointed. You're really worried about the shirt?

Raven flew after the monster.

Beast Boy: Hey, chicks dig the ears!

Beast Boy ditched his shirt and followed Raven.

Beast Boy: Hey! Wait! Ugh!

Robin continued to run as far as he could from the monster, but the monster kept up with him. Deka-Mido tried to stomp on Robin and shot eye beams at him, but missed. Robin seized the opportunity to use his grapple to shoot at a speeding shuttle train. Robin held on as the train was speeding up and was now pulling him with it. Robin climbed up to a window where a man in the window pointed behind Robin. The monster swung his tail and knocked the shuttle train off the tracks and crashed it in the middle of the road. The monster then broke the railroad and used his eye beams to zap a green ring of fire around Robin. After the green flames died out, a bunch of cars and vans with sirens showed up. Their bright lights briefly blinded the monster, and Robin saw a man stepping forward.

Daizo: Troopers! Charge!

Tokyo Troopers rushed out of their vehicles and stunned the monster with their guns. The monster tried to defend itself from the blasts while Troopers came down from helicopters. The rest of the Titans and the Trio then rushed over to see what was going on. The Troopers then built a long electrical device around the monster. Daizo stepped up and took out some kind of weapon and slashed it against the charger. Once that happened, a bright energy cage formed around the monster, thus trapping it.

Cyborg: We have got to get one of those!

The Troopers around the monster moved in closer to make the cage smaller, which forced the monster to the ground. After putting away his sword-looking weapon, the man heard a couple of voices.

Narazuki and Kenji: Dad!

Brian: Wait a second. That sounds like...

To the right, Narazuki and Kenji ran to their dad and gave him a huge hug.

Daizo: My children.

Trio and Teen Titans: Dad?

Akihiko showed up in front of the trio and the Titans.

Akihiko: Hey guys, you ditched us. We've felt some kind of earthquake in the house. What happened?

Stewie: Apparently that monster is what happened.

He turned around and saw the monster in a cage and Daizo.

Akihiko: (Gasp) Ahaha! Uncle Daizo.

He ran towards his uncle.

Trio and Teen Titans: UNCLE!?

The two hugged.

Daizo: Ah. Akihiko. Welcome back to Tokyo, my nephew.

Akihiko turned to his friends.

Akihiko: Everybody, this is my uncle, Uehara Daizo. He's the Commander of the Tokyo Troopers.

Daizo walked over to the group and bowed.

Daizo: I've heard my nephew has brought some friends. I am so grateful to meet you.

He turned his attention to the Titans.

Daizo: Ah. And you five must be the Teen Titans, hmm? As Commander of the Tokyo Troopers, I welcome you all to Japan.

The Titans and the trio bowed respectively to Daizo, except for Beast Boy. So Cyborg and Raven forced his head down. In a dark alleyway close by, they were all being watched by Penelope as her back was against the wall and her arms were crossed.

Penelope: Hmm!

After she was done spying, she back away into the darkness.

**(Tokyo Troopers Headquarters)**

Last night, Narazuki and Kenji went home. And before getting on the elevator shaft, the trio and Akihiko introduced themselves to the Teen Titans. And the Titans introduced themselves to the trio and Akihiko. During sunrise, Daizo gave the whole gang a tour of his office building on the elevator shaft.

Daizo: Tokyo is a unique city, my young friends, with its own unique dangers. Of course, I am sorry you had to learn this the hard way.

Glory: The three of us have been on lots of crazy adventures. We're kinda used to it.

Robin: And considering that we're superheroes, we're used to danger as well. And we appreciate your help, Commander.

Daizo: (Smile) Commander? Hahahahaha! No, no, no, no. You may call me Daizo, hmm? We are friends.

The trio and Robin smiled.

Daizo: I will honor you all with a tour of our headquarters and our home. I founded the Tokyo Troopers to help keep the city safe. We're not too different from all of you. Except, hmhm, we are all grown-ups.

The elevator shaft showed them around the building and they saw the Troopers training.

Daizo: My operation is a triumph of Japanese culture, technology, and design. Living units are efficient but comfortable. Hourly training sessions keep my Troopers in peak form.

They witnessed the Troopers fighting styles.

Stewie: I must say, Daizo. This all intrigues me.

Daizo: Hmhmhm! Why thank you, young man. I'm flattered.

At the end of the tour, they found that the Troopers were monitoring the city.

Daizo: My highly advanced command center has reduced crime in Tokyo by two hundred percent. Not bad, hmm? Hmm?

Cyborg: Whoa!

Starfire: Extraordinary!

The Titans, Stewie, and Brian got off the shaft and decided to take a look around. While they were looking around, Brian was at it again. He was sneaking behind Starfire while she was looking at the city on the monitors. Just when Brian was about to take a peek under her skirt, Stewie grabbed Brian's ear and dragged him away.

Brian: AGH! OW! AGH! STEWIE, WHAT THE HELL?

Stewie: This isn't the time for you to feel desperate, Brian.

Beast Boy was excited to see the Troopers at the controls. He even reach for a shining red button, until Raven slapped his hand and glared behind him.

Raven: Don't touch anything.

After she left, Beast Boy was so upset, his ears droop and he decided to leave the button alone.

Daizo: (Smile) So you're the Glory Griffin I've heard so much about.

Glory: (Nervous) Uh-huh!

Akihiko: That's right, Uncle Daizo.

He wrapped his arm around her.

Akihiko: We've been dating for quite some time now. And I'm happy to be with her.

Daizo: Well I must say, you've picked quite a nice descent girl, my nephew.

Glory blushed.

Akihiko: Thank you.

Robin: Excuse me, Daizo.

Daizo: Pardon me.

He turned around to see Robin.

Daizo: Yes?

Robin: If it's not too much trouble, I would like to ask for your permission to use this equipment to complete our mission.

Daizo: Ah! Certainly, my young friend. And what, may I inquire, is your mission?

Robin: We're tracking a criminal who calls himself Brushogun.

The mentioning of that name made the trio and Akihiko have concerned looks.

Daizo: Hahahahahahaha!

They all looked at each other with confusion.

Daizo: Forgive me, but you are ignorant of our culture. Brushogun is an urban legend, a myth. I'm afraid you've come a long way for nothing.

He turned their attention to the monitors.

Daizo: As you can see, my Troopers have Tokyo's real criminals well under control.

Robin: But Saico-Tek said-

Daizo: I'm sorry, I don't know who that is. Someone is playing a trick on you, perhaps, hmm?

Robin: I... I'm not sure.

Mayor: Commander Uehara!

Behind Daizo was the Mayor and the press.

Mayor: Tokyo thanks you. You've saved our city once again.

He walked up to the Mayor and they bowed. At this moment, the Titans, the trio, and Akihiko stood together as a group.

Daizo: It is my honor to serve, Mr. Mayor.

Mayor: Come, Commander. The people want their hero and I want to give you another medal.

Daizo turned back to the group.

Daizo: Enjoy your visit. But remember, here, you are just tourists. Leave the law enforcement to us, hmm?

Daizo went to have his picture taken with the mayor while Robin looked curious at the pink sphere he still has. Later, they all went outside on the roof of the building.

Raven: So, this was a fairly impressive waste of time.

Robin: I don't understand. How could this whole thing be a wild goose chase? I feel like an idiot.

Starfire placed her hand on Robin's shoulder.

Starfire: No, please, do not blame Robin for the wild chasing of the goose.

Brian: Look, we're sorry you feel this way, Robin. We know how you feel. We practically fell for the same trick too.

Cyborg: Hold up. You kids know something about this?

Stewie: Yep! Apparently, we were attacked by some bad guys back in Quahog, Rhode Island! And the last thing they said to us was "Brushogun."

Glory: And that's one of the reasons why we came here. To make Brushogun pay for declaring an attack on us.

Akihiko: That is until my uncle told us that Brushogun was a myth. Now we're not really sure if he's real or not.

Robin: It doesn't matter to me right now. I can't even find my way around in this town, much less catch a criminal.

Robin felt disappointed, until Beast Boy had an idea.

Beast Boy: Ooh! Dudes, I got it! I totally know where we need to go!

They followed Beast Boy until they stopped in front of Wakamono Shuppan.

Beast Boy: Ta-Da!

Starfire and Akihiko: Wakamono Shuppan?

Raven: The comic book place?

Brian: Comic book place? Ugh, you've got to be kidding me. You've gotten our hopes up just to take us to some freakin' comic book place?

Robin: I thought you were leading us to a clue about Brushogun.

Beast Boy started walking towards the front door.

Beast Boy: Helloooo? Daizo said he's not real, remember? But as long as we're here, we gotta take the tour.

Beast Boy bumped into the glass door and slid to the ground.

Starfire: The sign says "Closed."

Beast Boy: AAAUUGGGH! NO FAIR! GAAAUUUGH!

Robin: Come on. Let's just go home.

Robin walked the other way before Cyborg stopped in front of him.

Cyborg: Are you out of your spiky-head little mind? WE ARE IN TOKYO, MAN! WE GOTTA LOOK AROUND, SEE THE TOWN!

He took a picture of Robin, which almost blinded him.

Beast Boy: Yeah! After all, that's what vacations are for.

Raven: Whatever.

Cyborg, Raven, and Beast Boy went their separate ways to explore Tokyo.

Stewie: So... what now?

Robin: Hmm?

Robin went to the trio and Akihiko.

Robin: Here.

He gave each of them communicators.

Glory: What are these?

Robin: They're Teen Titans communicators.

Akihiko: Why are you giving them to us?

Robin: Just in case Brushogun attacks you kids again. If he does, contact us immediately.

Brian: Alright, will do.

Starfire was so excited, she pulled Robin with her to join the fun.

Robin: AUGH! REMEMBER TO CONtact uuuss.

After they left, the trio and Akihiko looked concerned at their communicators before putting them in their pockets.

Glory: Now what do we do?

Stewie: Simple. Akihiko's father told us to explore Tokyo, and that's exactly what you all will do. But watch out for our attackers though.

Stewie started walking away.

Brian: Wait, hold on, Stewie. What about you?

Stewie: I too am going to keep an eye out for our attackers. And while I'm at it, I'm gonna go find Penelope.

And just like that, Stewie left.

Brian: Hey, wait for me, Stewie!

Knowing how frightened he was about Penelope, Brian stuck with Stewie so he won't be alone with Penelope if he meets her again.

Akihiko: Who's Penelope?

Glory: Oh, just some chaos causing lunatic who tried to kill Brian.

Akihiko: Is she that bad?

Glory: Well, she was until Stewie told her to leave Brian alone. So I think Penelope changed. I'm just not sure.

Akihiko: Oh! Well, it looks like it's just you and me.

Glory: I know.

Akihiko: Shall we take a stroll around town?

Glory: Yes. Yes we shall.

Akihiko held Glory's arm, she rested her head on his shoulder, and then the couple took a walk. And once again, the silhouette man was keeping his eye on Tokyo's new visitors on his monitors.

Silhouette Man: They.. are no longer looking for me, but I will be watching their every move.

He pressed four buttons and started the machine again. Once the young couple left, mysterious figures watched them leave. Cyborg was walking around town reading a Japanese guide book when he saw a sushi restaurant.

Cyborg: There it is! The only Japanese I need to know! "All.. You.. Can.. Eat"!

Cyborg went inside the restaurant while whistling. Back at the comic book place, Beast Boy was sitting on the steps outside the gate.

Beast Boy: Oh! This was the only place in Japan I wanted to see. It's like paradise for comic book geeks. Did I just call myself a geek?

He read his manga comic book until...

Brian: Hey!

Beast Boy: DAAAUUUGH!

He turned into a frightened mouse.

Brian: (Sigh) Relax, it's me.

Beast Boy turned to normal.

Beast Boy: Oh, it's you. Uuuuhh... (Snap) (Snap) Uh, Brain?

Brian: Brian.

Beast Boy: Right. Um, what brings you here?

Brian: Eh, my friend ditched me. Turns out he doesn't like scaredy cats tagging along with him. Ya know what I'm talking about?

Beast Boy didn't say a word.

Brian: Hello? (Snap) (Snap) (Snap) Beast Boy?

Beast Boy: Dude.

Brian turned around and was stunned to see a hot Japanese girl named Miko Tezumi.

Miko: (Giggle) Otaku?

Beast Boy: Otaku? I think that means I'm cute.

Brian: No, she called me cute.

They got up into each others faces.

Beast Boy: Or maybe she called me cute.

Miko ran off giggling.

Beast Boy and Brian: She's mine.

Beast Boy turned into a dog as he and Brian ran after the girl on all four of their paws. In another part of town, Stewie was strolling down the street.

Stewie: Ugh, I'm so glad that the dog's gone. No sense in hearing about his desperation for love.

Stewie stopped in front of a dark alley. He looked left and right to make sure no one was around. With no one around, he took out his ray gun from his backpack and tip-toed his way into the dark alley. When he reached a dead end, Stewie heard a voice.

Penelope: Stewie!

Stewie: (Gasp)

Stewie turned around and pointed his gun at the darkness of the alley.

Stewie: Who's there?

Walking out of the darkness was Penelope.

Penelope: Hello Stewie.

Stewie: (Gasp) Penelope! So then I wasn't hallucinating.

He continued to point his gun.

Stewie: What are you even doing here, Penelope? Are you trying to kill my dog again?

Penelope: Not quite, Stewie. I'm here for the same reason why your new friends, the Teen Titans, are here. I'm here to eliminate Brushogun.

Stewie: Impossible! Commander Daizo said he doesn't exist.

Penelope: Well, I refuse to believe it, Stewie. You see, before I came to Tokyo, I was being attacked by some black ghost. And after suffering a humiliating defeat, I've been able to gather some samples of my attacker. And with the information I've gathered, I've learned that my attacker not only had the ability to regenerate, but he had came from Tokyo as well. Moments after I arrived to Japan, I've witnessed the Titans fighting a giant monster, which, by the way, regenerated exactly like my attacker.

Cyborg: Same power as Saico-Tek.

Robin: Because it works for Brushogun too.

Penelope: And that's when I knew who was responsible for my defeat. And that's why I came here.

Stewie: You expect me to believe that?

Penelope: Yes... I do.

She placed her hand on Stewie's shoulder.

Penelope: Stewie. I'm not asking for us to be together again. I'm simply asking for your help into putting an end to Brushogun's game. And I've already promised you that I would leave your friend alone. So... please?

Stewie took a moment to think as he lowered his weapon..

Stewie: Well... I suppose everyone deserves a second chance. And, uh, I suppose I kinda missed you. Alot. So... alright. I'll help.

Penelope: Thank you, Stewie. And before we go, I have something I wish to give you.

To Stewie's surprise, Penelope looked like she was about to kiss him. Stewie decided to go with it and try to kiss her back. When Penelope noticed that their lips almost came in contact, she stomped on Stewie's foot. At that moment, Stewie held his injured foot while hopping in the other.

Stewie: AUH! AGH! OW! OW! UGH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?

Penelope: That was for telling your friends that you banged me. Plus I heard you say it when I left.

Stewie: AUUGH! DAMN MY BLABBER MOUTH!

In another part of town, Raven was walking down the sidewalk when she saw some clerk eating noodles.

Raven: I know English, German, Latin, Romanian, Ancient Sumerian, and Sanskrit. Do you have anything I can read?

The clerk gave Raven a stick of gum.

Raven: Super Twinkle Donkey Gum.

The clerk winked at her, which caused Raven to shudder. So she decided to chew the gum.

**(Sunset)**

Robin and Starfire were sitting on the rooftop of a building.

Robin: Brushogun's a myth. So why do I feel like he's still out there somewhere?

Starfire: Uh, Robin, about that boy and the... lip contact?

Robin: Yeah. Is that why you kissed me when we first met to learn English?

Starfire: On Tamaran, this signifies merely the transfer of knowledge. But on your world it means... more. Or so I have heard.

Robin: (Blush) Oh. More... heh, right. I mean, yes.

Starfire moved closer to Robin.

Robin: Lip contact is.. I-I've heard that too.

They both chuckled and stepped back from each other for a moment. Robin tried on breath spray. Starfire smelled her armpits to make sure they're not funky. Robin made sure his hair is okay and his teeth. Starfire ate some kind of mints for fresh breath. After that, they were close to each other again.

Robin: Hi.

Starfire: Greetings.

Robin: Starfire?

Starfire: Yes, Robin?

Robin: You know you're my... best friend, right?

Starfire: And you are mine.

Robin: I never want anything to get in the way of that.

Starfire: Nothing ever could.

Their pinkie fingers touched.

Robin: I know.

Starfire: Then... we have nothing to fear.

They moved closer and closer and closer...

Robin: Fear!

Damn you Robin for ruining the perfect moment.

Robin: Saico-Tek was afraid of someone. Terrified. And whoever they are, they're here in Tokyo. Everyone may think Brushogun is a myth, but to Saico-Tek, he was real.

Starfire: But even if he is real, the Commander Daizo and his Troopers can surely handle-

Robin: Well, if they can handle it, then what are we doing here?

Starfire: I...believed us to be having... the fun.

Robin: There's nothing fun about looking like a bunch of stupid kids. We're heroes, Starfire. We don't take vacations. We don't make mistakes, and we don't have time for-

Starfire: For what?

Robin: For this.

She walked next to Robin.

Starfire: Must we always be heroes? Are we capable of nothing else? Can we not, for a few moments, be something... more?

Robin gently took Starfire's hand off his face.

Robin: There is nothing more. A hero is what I am. And if you don't like it-

Starfire: Robin, I like it more than you will ever know.

Starfire flew away wiping tears from her eyes.

**(Night)**

Raven was walking along and then looked behind her to see if somebody was following her. After she continued walking, her follower revealed to be Penelope's ghost attacker, Scarface.

Raven: Thirty million people, a hundred thousand stores, and in this entire city, the only thing to read is gum.

She directed her attention to the left, where the wind was blowing at. She saw a bookshop dead ahead. After walking halfway there, she quickly turned around and used her powers to levitate her two followers in the air.

Raven: Gotcha!

They revealed to be Stewie and Penelope.

Stewie: AGH! Oh God! Oh God! I'm afraid of heights.

Raven: (Gasp) Oh, you're that talking baby, Stewie, right?

She let the two children down. After getting to the ground, Stewie was catching his breath.

Stewie: Ugh! Yes. (Pant) I am.

He finished catching his breath.

Raven: What exactly are you doing here?

Stewie: Same thing you're doing. My friend, Penelope, convinced me that Brushogun is no myth, and we've decided to help you Titans into taking him down.

Penelope: But first, we need a little more information on him. If that's no trouble at all to you.

Raven: (Sigh) Alright, you can help, but I'm not changing any diapers.

She turned around and walked ahead while Stewie and Penelope shrugged their shoulders before following her into the bookshop.

Raven: Hello? Anybody here? This is probably a bad idea.

Penelope: Indeed it is, but we'll have to risk it. This maybe our only chance into finding out the truth about Brushogun.

Stewie: Then let's do this.

The three entered the bookshop.

**(Sushi Restaurant)**

Cyborg continued to eat until the chef decided to cut him off.

Chef: You-you-you go now! You eat too much, you! You will put me out of business!

Cyborg: But the sign says "All You Can Eat." And I can eat more!

Chef: Hmhm!

The chef prepared a dish for Cyborg.

Chef: You can eat more? Can you eat... octopus?

After the chef held out a plate of octopus, Cyborg slammed his hand on his chopsticks.

Cyborg: Yes, I can!

He used his chopsticks to swallow the entire octopus. He also reacted to the taste when the chef wasn't looking.

Cyborg: Blech!

**(Alley)**

Beast Boy and Brian were still chasing the girl.

Beast Boy: Hey, wait up!

Brian: Ha! She's mine now.

Beast Boy: I don't think so.

Beast Boy tripped Brian and he fell into a puddle.

Brian: Aaaarrrgh!

Beast Boy: Hehe. Sucker!

Brian: (Growl)

Brian got up and walked with a limp in his leg. A few seconds later, he walked into a building.

Brian: I know you're in here.

He looked around for Beast Boy, and he found him when Beast Boy was hit with the spotlight.

Beast Boy: Huh?

Brian was in the crowd as they cheered for Beast Boy to sing a song. When Beast Boy received the mic, Brian seized the opportunity to slip away with an evil laugh. He left to find the girl he was chasing before Beast Boy could.

Beast Boy: Karaoke?!

He went to the Karaoke machine to change the lyrics to English.

Beast Boy: Wait! Uh, the-the lyrics are in Japanese!

After pushing the button over and over, he found the english lyrics.

_"I will o-obey the traffic ruuuules" "Teen Titans"_

_"I will eat everything without likes or disliiiikes" "Teen Titans"_

_"Earthquakes, lightning, fire, Dad" "Grammar, math, science, social studies" "There is nothing I am afraid oooof" "Teen Titans GO"_

_"Hooooooller my naaaame" "Teen Titans"_

_"Half your troubles will be goooone" "Teen Titans"_

_"Papa's schedule control, uh" "Mama's weight control" "Wishes aaare endleeeess" "TEEN TITANS GO"_

_"One, two, three, four, five" "Teen Titans"_

Beast Boy: GOOD NIGHT, TOKYO!

After Beast Boy dropped the mic, all the girls ran on stage and started kissing him.

Beast Boy: I love this town.

Meanwhile, Robin was still looking for Brushogun. He continued to stare at the pink sphere in his hand while being watched on the monitor.

Silhouette Man: As I suspected. The child continues to investigate.

A voice was heard in the background.

Silhouette Man: Yes. He is persistent.

He pushed a button.

Silhouette Man: But Saico-Tek will take him off the case... permanently.

Akihiko and Glory continued their stroll downtown while holding hands.

Akihiko: You know what I love about you?

Glory: And what is it that you love about me?

Akihiko: It's that you're always in such a good mood. And because of that, we've never had a single argument in our relationship. That's what I call the perfect relationship... with the perfect girl.

Glory: Aw.

They stopped walking and looked into each other's eyes.

Glory: (Blush) You say such the sweetest things. I'm so glad to be with you.

Akihiko: (Blush) Me too.

They moved their heads closer and closer. And just when they were about to kiss, the top of a building exploded, which caused a cloud of pink smoke. While a bunch of people were running, the young couple looked up at the building.

Akihiko: What was that?

Glory squinted her eyes to see what was going on up there.

Glory: Is that... Robin?!

Robin was swinging on a grapple and saw who attacked him with a bomb. The half blue, half pink...

Robin: Saico-Tek!

While Robin was chasing Saico-Tek, Akihiko decided to go help him.

Akihiko: I gotta go help him.

Just when he was about to go, Glory pulled Akihiko's arm to prevent him from going.

Glory: No, wait. Don't go. You'll get hurt.

Akihiko: I'm not gonna get hurt.

Glory: No, it's too dangerous.

Akihiko held Glory on her shoulders.

Akihiko: I promise you, I won't get hurt.

Glory just gave her boyfriend a worried sad look.

Akihiko: I'll be right back.

Akihiko ran down the street and followed Robin. When he reached the building that Robin was on, Akihiko ran down the alley until he found a ladder. He climbed up the ladder that goes straight to the roof. When he reached the roof, he saw that Saico-Tek was handcuffed.

Akihiko: Robin!

Robin turned around.

Robin: Akihiko, get outta here. It's too dangerous.

He ran to Robin.

Akihiko: Nothing's too dangerous for me. I know a thing or two about martial arts like you.

He stared at Saico-Tek and prepared to fight.

Akihiko: I can help.

Saico-Tek moved his arms over his head and slid his hands out of the handcuffs.

Akihiko: Eh. Gross.

Robin prepared to fight too.

Robin: Look, I appreciate you trying to help, Akihiko, but I can handle this on my own.

To their surprise, the half pink, half blue Saico-Tek split himself into two. Now there were two Saico-Teks. One was all pink and the other was all blue.

Robin: Okaaay, maybe I could use a little help after all.

Robin started his fight with the pink Saico-Tek. While that was going on, Akihiko handled the blue one.

Akihiko: Let's go.

The blue Saico-Tek ran towards Akihiko and they started fighting. They were matching each other, blow to blow. After Akihiko kicked twice and missed, Blue Saico-Tek got behind him and sent him a hard kick. That made Akihiko roll towards the edge. Luckily, he quickly got back up and ran towards his opponent. Akihiko was so full of rage, he landed two hard punches and sent his Saico-Tek flying with an uppercut. At the same time, Robin threw some discs and made his Saico-Tek flying too.

After they landed, both Saico-Teks started running away, until Robin threw more ammunition discs in front of their path. The explosion caused both ninjas to be thrown backwards in the air. That's when Robin and Akihiko jumped into the air and crashed both ninjas into a huge sign. The sign broke off the roof and crash onto a rooftop below before hitting the ground.

After the sign hit the ground, Robin and Akihiko showed no mercy and kept pummeling both Saico-Teks into the ground. And after they both landed huge blows to their chests, the center pieces on their chests broke. Both ninjas didn't move a muscle. Both Robin and Akihiko stood up and started breathing heavily as Robin was covered in pink substance and Akihiko was covered in blue substance. They looked around and saw that Tokyo citizens were horrified after witnessing what those two have done. When the sign's lights dimmed out, Akihiko saw his reflection in the sign, thinking about what kind of monster he became.

Akihiko: Robin... what have we done?!

With a sad look, Robin looked at his pink hands.

Robin: No.

A light shined on them and they were surrounded by Tokyo Troopers.

Daizo: I am sorry, my nephew... but you leave me no choice. I must place you and your friend under arrest.

The Troopers handcuffed Robin and Akihiko and then took them away. Glory started running towards them.

Glory: WAIT, STOP! THIS HAS TO BE SOME HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING!

Akihiko: Huh?

He looked behind him and saw about seven Troopers keeping Glory away.

Glory: AKIHIKOOOOO!

Akihiko: AGH!

The screen freeze-frames as Glory reaches for Akihiko while he and Robin were being taken away.

Akihiko: GLORYYYYY!

[To be continued...]


	13. Road to Tokyo (Part 2)

Part two of this adventure is coming very very soon. So until then, please enjoy the credits.

**(Credits)**

Beast Boy: _"I will o-obey the traffic ruuuules" "Teen Titans"_

Robin: _"I will eat everything without likes or disliiiikes" "Teen Titans"_

Starfire: _"Earthquakes, lightning, fire, Dad"_

Penelope: _"Grammar, math, science, social studies"_

Starfire and Penelope:_ "There is nothing I am afraid oooof" "Teen Titans GO"_

Cyborg: _"Holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler my naaaame" "Teen Titans"_

Akihiko: _"Half of your troubles will be goooone" "Teen Titans"_

Brian: _"Papa's schedule control"_

Stewie:_ "Mama's weight control"_

Glory: _"Wishes aaare endleeeess"_

Raven: _"Teen Titans go"_

Beast Boy: _"One, two, three, four, five"_

Trio, Penelope, Akihiko, and Teen Titans: _"Teen Titans"_

Beast Boy: GOOD NIGHT, TOKYO!


	14. Road to the Crystal Empire

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. So until the Hiatus is over, please enjoy the closing of the show.

Yuya sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

Yuya: Hehehe! Thanks! Um, I'm glad I was able to help out with the show and all, but... can anybody tell me how am I suppose to get back to Paradise City?

Stewie: Well, not to worry, Yuya. Allow me to take you home. Just follow me to my time machine and we can-

Glory: Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second.

Stewie: What?

Glory: Save some power for your time machine, Stewie. 'Cause I just figured out a much faster way we can send Yuya back home, and gain superpowers at the same time.

Stewie facepalmed.

Stewie: CRAP!

Brian facepalmed too.

Brian: Aww no!

Glory: Oh yes! Stewie? Brian? Go grab a large rectangular mirror, a tape cassette, and a monkey wrench, and meet me at the Power Plant. COME ON, EVERYPONY! Right this way.

The Mane Six and Yuya followed Glory to the left of the stage as the audience applaud.

Brian: GLORY, WE CAN'T GO TO THE POWER PLANT! SOMETHING TELLS ME IT'S ILLEGAL! GLORY?

Stewie: GLORY, WHO THE HELL PUT PUDDING IN MY SOCKS LAST NIGHT? I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO IT WAS!

Stewie and Brian: GLORY? GLORY!

The two looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

Stewie and Brian: AAWW, HERE IT GOES!


	15. Road to Wild 'N Out

This adventure is currently on Hiatus.

Crowd: "Wild 'N" "Wild 'N" "Wild 'N" "Wild 'N"

Announcer: On this episode, on Nick's Gold Team: Conceited, Chico Bean, Hitman Holla, DC Young Fly, Justina Valentine, Matt Rife, Michael Blackson, DoBoy, Jon Gabrus. And on the Platinum team: Emmanuel Hudson, DeRay Davis, Jacob Williams, Timothy DeLaGhetto, Karlous Miller, Corey Holcomb, Blair Christian, and their team captains Stewie, Brian, and Glory Griffin. With a performance by Justin Bieber. And now, give it up for your host, Nick Cannon.

Got Props

* * *

Plead The Fifth

* * *

Hood Jeopardy

* * *

Wildstyle


	16. Road to Canterlot High (Part 1)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	17. Road to Canterlot High (Part 2)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	18. Adventure 16: Road to

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	19. Road to Twilight's Kingdom

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	20. Adventure 18: Road to

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	21. Road to the Dazzlings (Part 1)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	22. Road to the Dazzlings (Part 2)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. So until the Hiatus is over, please enjoy the ending.

Trio: CRAAAAP!

Peter turned on the boombox and started singing and dancing.

Peter: _"A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word. A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word. A-well-a..."_

Okay, let's get that song out of our heads. Instead of the credits song 'Shine Like Rainbows', the credits will be just like the Dbz Kai ending 'Never Give Up'

**(Credits)**

The screen showed four characters. From left to right, the characters were Sonata, Fluttershy, Stewie, and Aria. Fluttershy and Aria were replaced with Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Sonata and Stewie were replaced with Adagio and Applejack. Rarity and Pinkie Pie were replaced with Brian and Spike. Adagio and Applejack were replaced with Sunset Shimmer and Glory. And finally, Brian and Spike were replaced with Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

Glory was a little weak, she struggled to get off the ground.

_"Get up and let's go" "We were born to save our universe"_

Stewie, Brian, and the Equestria Girls, including Sunset Shimmer, also struggled to stay up with a few scratches and bruises.

_"Stand up and move on" "Don't forget the words our fathers said"_

Twilight turned to her friends with some words of encouragement.

_"We are unbeatable"_

Instead of showing a picture of the Griffin Family, the screen showed the picture that the trio took with the Equestria Girls at the Fall Formal.

_"'Cause we have families who love us" "We are unbreakable"_

At this point, the Equestria Girls and the trio smiled and nodded.

_"'Cause now we have a chain of hearts" "We are always one"_

The screen freeze-frames as they took one step forward.

_"Never give up on your dream you believe"_

It freeze-framed again by their waists as they moved forward again.

_"Never give up on your days you conceive"_

And again as they moved forward and stood together.

_"Gotta be tough, gotta make it together" "Don't you know, I'm the one to stand by your side"_

The Equestria Girls and the trio stared upward at the Dazzlings, who were standing on a huge rock structure with smirks on their faces.

_"Better to try than to make no action" "Better to cry than to fake your emotion"_

With the power of Equestrian Magic and Friendship, the Equestria Girls and the FG trio charged at the Dazzlings as the screen freeze-frames.

_"Gotta be us, gotta fight them together" "Don't you know, you're the one who make my soul complete"_


	23. Adventure 20: Road to

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	24. Road to the Friendship Games (Part 1)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	25. Road to the Friendship Games (Part 2)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	26. Adventure 22 - Road to

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	27. Road to the Crystalling

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	28. Adventure 24 - Road to

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	29. Road to Camp Everfree (Part 1)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


	30. Road to Camp Everfree (Part 2)

This adventure is currently on Hiatus. 


End file.
